Looking For Trouble (20 page)

Chapter 28

A
s soon as PJ walked through Alexandria's door, he embraced her in a tight hug, followed by a soft, lingering kiss.

“That's a nice greeting,” Alexandria said. “How was your day?”

“Better, now that I'm with you.”

She smiled. “Mine too.”

Thirty minutes later, Alexandria and PJ were sitting across from each other in a booth inside the Cheesecake Factory. She'd eaten there for what seemed like a thousand times before—but for some reason, tonight felt different. She didn't know if it was the fact that she was falling for the gorgeous man in front of her, whom she'd only reunited with last night, or if it was the fact that what she planned on telling him during their meal could either make or break their newfound relationship. Either way, she knew being there tonight meant something beyond a simple dinner.

They picked up where they'd left off in the wee hours of this morning, falling into conversation so naturally that it seemed as though sharing Sunday-night dinner was part of their routine. Alexandria laughed at a funny joke he made, but her smile broke when she saw a guy walk by whom she thought looked just like Peter. She breathed with relief when, upon closer inspection, she could see it wasn't him.

She'd called Peter on her drive home from her mother's house earlier that afternoon, hoping she could stop by his place and break the news to him in person. But he hadn't answered his phone, so she left a short voice message asking him to call her.

“You have a faraway look,” PJ said. “Tell me what you're thinking?”

“You're just like my mom.”

“Damn! I've been compared to many things, but never someone's mother.”

Alexandria laughed. “I didn't mean it the way it sounded. It's just that you're both very inquisitive, and you say what's on your mind.”

“I guess asking questions comes from my natural curiosity and years of training as a medical professional. It's important to get to the root of a patient's problems, and asking questions is one of the best ways to do it. Does that bother you?”

“No, not at all. Actually, I like the fact that you want to know more about me, and that you're so willing to express how you feel about things.”

“It's necessary in a relationship.”

“Yes, but it's also hard to open yourself up completely to someone.”

“Is that hard for you?”

Alexandria took a small sip of her wine, then bit into her chicken enchilada. “Yes,” she whispered.

“I'm surprised. You're so open and expressive onstage. Plus, you've shared a lot with me. . . . Wait a minute.” PJ raised his brow in a playful gesture. “You're not holding back something crazy from me, are you?”

Everything had been going so well, and Alexandria wanted their good time to continue. However, she also knew that if she was serious about entering into a relationship with PJ, as she'd told her mother she was, she needed to start things off on a good footing. She needed to share things with him that she'd never discussed with another person, not even her own mother, until yesterday.

For once in her life, Alexandria wanted to take a risk. She wanted to feel completely free from burdens and secrets. But she knew that freedom came with a price; if this was what she truly wanted, she had to be willing to pay up.

“I'm going to share something with you,” PJ said, pulling Alexandria from her thoughts. “My father taught me a lot of things about being a man, and one of the most important lessons he drilled into my head was to be a person of my word.” He reached over and gently stroked her hand. “I know we're moving really fast, but I give you my word, Ali, I'm gonna do everything in my power to make you happy and support you in whatever it is you want to do. I don't want you to feel afraid when you're with me. You can open up and tell me anything, and I won't judge you or walk away. I'll be there for you, and you have my word on that.”

Never in her life had Alexandria had this kind of conversation with a man, not to mention so quickly in a relationship. But as they'd both acknowledged, what they were building was very different, and they couldn't put rules or a name to it. With newfound courage, Alexandria decided to finally start living.

“Now I have to be straight up with you.”

PJ pushed his plate of half-eaten steak and a baked potato to the side. “This sounds serious.”

“It is.”

“Okay, then let's go where we can talk in private.”

They left the restaurant, hand in hand, and buckled up in PJ's SUV. Twenty minutes later, they were back at Alexandria's apartment, both nervously anticipating what would happen next.

 

Alexandria led PJ back into her small living room and offered him a seat on her couch.

“I like your place,” PJ said. “It's just like you.”

“Really? And how am I?”

“Stylish, elegant, and sophisticated, with a little bohemian vibe goin' on. I'm really feelin' that.” He looked at her Charles Alston painting hanging prominently on the wall opposite her couch. “Everything is put together nicely. It's beautiful, just like you.”

“Are you trying to sweet-talk me?”

PJ laughed. “Yes, but what I said also happens to be true.” He leaned back against the soft cushions, making himself more comfortable as he rested his hand on the fabric of Alexandria's flowing, vibrantly colored skirt. “So what's up? What is it that you want to tell me?”

Alexandria sat cross-legged, looking down at PJ's hand on her thigh. She wondered what his touch would feel like if he ventured under her clothes, but she pushed the thought out of her mind. Instead, she concentrated on what was at hand.

She took a deep breath, reached for PJ's hand, and held on to it tightly in hers. “I have baggage and issues.”

“We all do.”

“Yes, but mine . . . Well, it's not what you think.”

“Then tell me. I want to know.”

Alexandria looked into his eyes and began what turned into an hour-long conversation about her gift. She was surprised when PJ didn't flinch, not even once, as she told him about situations she'd encountered and voices she'd heard since she was a little girl. She even told him about Grandma Allene, and how for the first time she was able to travel back into the past and see and hear things as they were happening.

When she searched PJ's face for a reaction, it was void of the disbelief, skepticism, or even the fear she'd expected to rest there. Instead, she saw a man who was trying to understand her and, as unbelievable as it seemed, love her. He held on tightly to her hand for a solid hour; now he was cradling her in his arms as they lay on her couch.

It amazed Alexandria how completely comfortable and safe she felt with this man, as if they'd been together for years. She thought about what her Grandma Allene had said to her about not being afraid to open up and let love walk into her life.

“I thank God for Grandma Allene, because if it weren't for her, I wouldn't have opened up to my mom, which gave me the strength to unburden myself and made it easier to confide in you.”

“I'm amazed, Ali. You're so strong and fearless.”

“Ha!” Alexandria laughed. Her head was resting on PJ's strong chest as she looked up at him. “I'm a lot of things, but
fearless
isn't one of them. I remember so many nights, lying in the dark, scared to death that I'd see a vision or hear a voice that might harm me.”

“Most people wouldn't have been able to handle what you've been through on their own for all these years. At least, not without—”

“Going crazy,” she said, finishing his sentence.

“No, I was going to say without getting some help, like talking to a professional.”

“Do you think I'm crazy?”

“I think you're beautiful.”

“Beautiful and crazy?”

PJ laughed. “Will you stop saying that!”

“I wouldn't blame you if you thought I was unstable, or at least a little weird. That's one of the reasons why I don't talk about it.” She raised herself up off his chest and looked at PJ closely. “I see how calm you're acting about what I've told you, and I'm wondering if maybe you're placating me until you can break free. Then the minute you're out the door, you'll change your number and I'll never see or hear from you again.”

PJ shook his head. “Ali, if I wanted to leave, trust me, I would've been gone five minutes into this conversation. I'm calm because what you've told me doesn't surprise me, not coming from you.”

“What do you mean ‘not coming from' me?”

“I remember that when we were kids, you used to say and do things that were . . . different.”

Alexandria was so surprised, she sat up at full attention. “What did I do?”

PJ continued lying on her couch, resting his arm behind his head as he reached back into his memory. “I remember we had playtime at the end of the day before our parents would come to pick us up from school. And, Ali, somehow you always—
and I mean always—
knew the exact time my dad was about to walk through the door. You'd say, ‘PJ, we have to put the toys away 'cause your dad's coming.' Sure enough, he'd walk in the door a few seconds later. It was like you could feel him coming.”

Alexandria's hand flew to her mouth. “I did that? I don't remember it at all.”

“I didn't know what it meant back then. I just thought it was a neat trick. And actually, something else happened that I didn't realize until last night. I meant to bring it up while we were talking but somehow I got sidetracked.”

“What? Tell me!” Alexandria asked with urgency.

“One day, we were sitting in the back of our classroom, drawing in our sketchbooks, and you told me you were going to miss me because we wouldn't be able to see each other for a very long time,” PJ said as he readjusted his position on the couch. “Well, this was only a few weeks after your father had that heart attack when he came to pick you up from school. You'd missed a couple days after it happened, so I thought you were going to be out again because of your dad or something. I told you we'd still see each other because I'd get my dad to bring me over to your house for a playdate.

“But then you told me that we'd be too far away to have playdates, but you'd play with me again when we grew up.” PJ shook his head. “It's so strange. I've always remembered that. Even last night, when I first saw you at the club, I remembered what you told me. But I never thought about it the way I'm thinking about it now. This is wild.”

A quiet calm washed over Alexandria. “I'm no longer going to be afraid of my gift. I can't run or hide from it any longer. I have to embrace it. If I'd done that a long time ago, I probably wouldn't have suffered so much hurt, alienation, and failed relationships. I would've known how to develop and cultivate the ability with which I've been blessed.”

Alexandria suddenly closed her eyes and stayed quiet for a long pause; then she opened them to find PJ staring at her with concern.

“Ali, what's wrong?”

“I just heard my Grandma Allene's voice again.”

PJ's eyes grew wide, and he sat up beside her. “Really?”

“Yes, I heard her singing ‘Amazing Grace,' and then she was talking with a woman. The lady was young, about our age, but she was wearing a very old-fashioned dress. I don't know who she was, but she looked very familiar.” She paused for a moment. “They were talking about me. I could see them both, but I could only hear Grandma Allene.”

“What did she say?”

“That she's going to be there for me. She's going to guide me with my gift.”

PJ shook his head from side to side. “This is incredible. I've read and heard about patients having out-of-body experiences and being able to connect with the deceased. For some people, the very thought defies practicality and logic, but I know it's real. You had this ability when we were kids and you still have it now.” He pulled her in close to him. “Let me know how I can help you, baby. I'm here for you.”

He'd called her “baby,” and it made her feel a jolt of excitement. Alexandria smiled and kissed him softly on his lips. “My Grandma Allene is in my life now, and she's going to help guide me. And together with you, I know everything will be all right.”

They kissed and caressed on her couch, holding each other as their bodies pressed against one another. When Alexandria felt PJ's excitement rise once again, she wanted to see and explore what she knew would, without a doubt, give her pleasure. But she also knew that even though her mother had cautioned her—for personal reasons of her own—she'd been partially right about one thing: the fact that Alexandria needed to slow things down—at least on the physical level.

When she thought about her mother, it made her mind flash back to the situation between her and PJ's parents. Alexandria already had brought up one heavy topic tonight, and now she knew she had to bring up another one.

She pulled away, still lying in PJ's arms. “There's something else we need to talk about.” She sat up and motioned for him to do the same.

“Ali, if you're trying to kill the mood, you're succeeding.”

“I'm sorry, but this is important. I think we need to get all the major stuff out in the open right now.”

PJ adjusted the crotch of his pants and sat back into the couch. “Okay, what's up?”

She looked into his eyes and was going to ask him if he knew about their parents' history, but there was no need to inquire. One hard glimpse let her know that he'd spoken to his father earlier that afternoon. She tilted her head to the side. “You know about my mom and your dad, don't you?”