Lord of the Runes (25 page)

His stomach dropped. A king's daughter would hardly fetch that much for her bride price. But he wouldn't insult Asa by bargaining. He unclasped the thick gold chain holding his hammer of Thor pendant and set it on the table with a heavy thud.

“I'll use this as the
arrha
, the first part of my payment. This shows my good faith. If I don't win back my title, the marriage is off and you keep this. I'll be dead anyhow, for that's the only thing that will stop me. If I regain my village and earn the title, you'll get your gold from what I have hidden, and this is returned to me.”

“Done. Now for her dowry.”

“The dragon's head.”

“What?”

“The dragon's head I helped her carve the runes on. I want it as her
heiman fylgia
.”

Magnus scowled. “That's to be sold to help support the village this year.”

“But you have gold laid away, I'm certain, for her dowry.”

“Of course.”

“Then you'll have use of that now. And soon, you'll have far more than that with my gold.”

“True. But a woman's dowry is meant to support her if she's widowed or divorced. What will she have to fall back on if either one is the case? Not that I'd leave her destitute, of course. But only the gods know what our fates are, and I must be certain she's provided for apart from what I'd do for her.”

“If I die, she'll have my full measure of wealth. That's no small amount. I won't divorce her, and I'll make certain she'll never have cause to leave me. But to ease your mind, the dragon's head will be stipulated as her dowry, and therefore, it is hers. She'll be able to sell it and keep the money she gets for it.”

Magnus tapped his fingers on the table, his eyes narrowed. “I am giving up a great deal. I'm losing a sister.”

“And gaining an ally. You'll also gain Rorik as an ally, and he's more powerful and wealthy than most kings. I saw a man on a black horse after the battle with the outcasts here. Who knows who he is? He might cause problems in the future. If so, you'll have backing from both the north and the south. It puts you in an enviable political and tactical position, nonetheless.”

Magnus crossed his arms and leaned back. “And I'm losing the income from Asa's carvings.”

“That's what the bride price replaces. Any earnings lost because the woman leaves the family. But I'll say this. Every winter, Asa can carve another prow ornament and you can stop at my village to get it on your way to Kaupang and the other markets. You can sell them, as you always have. Agreed?”

“That's very generous.”

“That's family. Do we have an agreement?”

“There's only one more problem. Asa may not appreciate this. Even though it's my right to make these decisions, it's never good to do so without the woman's input, and it rarely ends well when they're not consulted. Divorce is too easy to obtain.”

“I would never force her to marry me,” Eirik said. “I can convince her. It would help, though, if I know what's in her past that makes her afraid. She'll face down the largest warrior in battle, but when I try to get close to her, she runs. I don't understand.”

“That is her tale to tell, if she chooses. Not mine. I agree that you do need to understand her past to understand her.” He stood and walked to the door, which wasn't shut all the way. A shadow passed outside of it, then disappeared.

Magnus paused before he opened it. “Let me make this clear, Eirik. I don't do this for the gold, or political gain, or for whoever your family is. I do it for Asa. I've wanted to see her married, but no man has measured up to her standards or mine. I've seen how she is with you. You may be the one man she would respond to, who could make her happy. If I didn't feel that way, no amount of gold could force me to agree to this.

“Remember, she's a shieldmaiden and has her pride. But she's also a woman, and I'm not certain which makes her more dangerous. I'll send her in to you. Unarmed.”

Eirik laughed. “My thanks for that.” When Magnus had gone, he poured another splash of mead and drank it down. If he could get her to agree to this, perhaps he could take her with him when he left. She wasn't safe here. Until they found out who meant her harm, she never would be. The next time she might not be so fortunate. And there would be a next time.

The door opened and Asa came in. Her hair was loose, as though she had prepared for sleep. His fist clenched as the desire hit him to run his hands through the silken mass and kiss her again.

“Magnus said you wished to speak with me. I thought we said all we needed to earlier.” Her dark eyes were large and there was a trace of uncertainty in them. She clutched her shawl around her like a shield.

He rose and moved around the table toward a cushioned bench near a small brazier. Holding out his hand to her, he said, “Come and sit with me.”

She eyed him, her gaze wary, but she did as he asked, though she kept her hands folded in her lap.

He sank down beside her and took her hand in his. She stared down and shuddered just a bit. Challenging half-mad warriors didn't daunt her, yet this closeness, she feared. Something was very wrong.

“Asa, why aren't you married?” He kept his voice gentle. “You're well past the usual age of fourteen winters. You're beautiful, the daughter and sister of jarls, intelligent, skilled, kind, everything any man could want. This has been a mystery to me since I first arrived. I think we've come to the point where I can ask this, especially with what you have come to mean to me.”

She bit her lip. “As a shieldmaiden, I have chosen not the kiss, but the kill. Few men will accept that. I made that choice six years ago and I have never regretted it.”

Six years ago. What in the name of the gods had happened? “And if Magnus needed to join his house with that of another for political reasons? What then?”

“I know my duty.” She raised her chin, but still didn't look at him. “And I know Magnus would take my welfare into consideration and make a wise choice for me.”

Her hand trembled in his as he brought it to his lips. “Asa, Magnus has made a wise choice. Just now.”

She stared at him, her eyes wide. Her skin turned pale and he gripped her hand in case she tried to bolt. She shook her head. “I can't, Eirik. Please don't ask it of me. If there were any man I could be with, it would be you. But I can't.” She tried to slide away from him, but he wouldn't let her go. Ever.

“Then help me understand and we can fight this together. As we did against the outcasts.”

“I've spoken of it to no one.” Her voice shook. “Magnus told me long ago that I was never to think of it, or talk about it. If I did, it would come back in my mind and I would relive it all over again.”

“Relive what? Asa, Magnus told me this night that this was your tale to tell, not his. He thought it was all right for you to talk to me about it.”

“He did?” She looked away. “I don't know. It's lived within me for so long.”

“My mother has always said it's better to speak of that which troubles you than to let it live inside you and decay so that you die because of it.”

“She said that?” Her lips tightened.

“My sister, Silvi, hopes to become a priestess one day. But to be one, she must gain control of herself. She has much anger and sadness in her and that holds her back. My mother has her talk about it and even cry and scream about it so that its power lessens. It helps her. Asa, I think it can help you, as well.” He stroked her hand. “And I want to help you. I want to love you. Let me do both.”

Her gaze shot to his and she took in a sharp breath. He placed his free hand around the back of her head and drew her in for his kiss. As she opened to him, he deepened it, willing her to see that he spoke the truth. When they parted, she stared at him, then nodded.

“We will at least see if you still want me after this.” When she tried to shift away from him, he tightened his grip on her hand, but didn't pull her closer.

“My aunt, Estrid's mother, remarried after Estrid's father died. A man named H—Hakon.”

“I know. Magnus told me of it.”

“Then he told you Hakon was outcast?”

“Yes. But not the reason. Only that he committed a terrible crime.”

She nodded, her eyes filling. Looking away, she took a deep breath. “Six years ago, when I was fourteen winters, he tried to rape me.”

A
sa winced as Eirik's hand clenched around hers. Of course he didn't mean to hurt her, but the twinge of pain was nothing compared to the agony of speaking those words. She'd never said them aloud. Not to anyone, nor even to herself. They tore her open as they left her, and she couldn't stop the sob that followed them.

“By the gods, Asa.” Eirik released her hand and enveloped her in his arms. He tucked her head under his chin, pressing her to his chest. “Tell me.”

She leaned into him, accepting his embrace. It might be easier to speak of this if she didn't have to look at him. He was like a great shield against the world. She closed her eyes, drawing strength from his touch. Just this one last time. At first, she couldn't make the words come. But he kept stroking her hair until she found the courage to continue.

“I was in the sauna. It was a different one then. Magnus had that one torn down so I wouldn't have to go back in there again. I was dressed, but was just putting my hair up. Hakon came in. I was leery of him. He'd never paid much attention to me before, but there were rumors that he had beaten my aunt, and people whispered that he had done things to Estrid. Back then, I didn't know what they meant.

“I knew what happened between men and women, of course, but my mother had always said it would be because a man loved me.” She shook her head. “Hakon didn't love me. He was family of sorts, though, and I thought he'd come in there by mistake, thinking the sauna was empty. But then, he said things. That he'd wanted Cliona because she was the sister-in-law of a jarl. She didn't appreciate him and had divorced him and left. So he'd planned to marry Estrid. Then he realized I was also of marriageable age and that I was the sister of a jarl, instead of a cousin. I would bring him even more power.”

She swallowed, unable to stop the tremor that rippled through her. “But, he said, first he wanted to see what I would be like. I didn't understand. So he said he would take me and that we would become lovers. That I would tell everyone I wanted him and had agreed to this, and we would be married. I told him no, I didn't want him as a husband. Only Magnus had the right to choose for me. But Hak—he said I was only a girl and I would do as
he
said or it would not go well for me.”

She swallowed. “He grabbed me and pulled me down onto the floor and lifted my skirt. I fought him. I don't think he was expecting it, and I was able to get him off of me. But in the next moment, he was on top of me again, tearing my clothes. I screamed and kept fighting him. Then he held a knife to my throat and told me to be quiet or he would kill me.”

The old fear heaved inside of her, like vomit rising into her throat. Every moment replayed in her mind—the pain as his hands gripped her, the weight of him, the smell of his unwashed skin against hers. She raised her hand to her neck, shielding it against the memory.

“Did he . . . Did he take you?” Eirik's voice was hard, his muscles tensed.

She shook her head against his chest. “Magnus heard my scream. He came into the sauna and rushed at Hakon. He drove straight into him and shoved him off of me. Hakon had the knife in his hand and he—” Her throat closed. Sorrow and rage choked her but she fought them down, as she'd done every time the memory smashed into her mind.

“He sliced Magnus. In the stomach.” Blood. So much blood everywhere. Every time she was angered, all she could see was red. “Hakon fled and I screamed and screamed, while trying to keep Magnus from bleeding to death. I couldn't move him and I couldn't leave. I was pressing the wound closed with my hands, else his insides might have come out. By the time someone heard, we were both covered in blood and he was almost dead.

“He was unconscious for three days. The wound festered. We kept a sword in his hand the whole time so he would go to Valhalla if he died. He should have died, but Ingeborg was skilled and the gods were kind. After he recovered, he told me never to speak of it again. It would awaken in me, he said, and I needed to forget about it. He swore I would never be so vulnerable again and he taught me to defend myself. I don't think he foresaw how skilled I would be, or that I would choose to become a shieldmaiden. But I had few other choices.

“A woman is expected to marry and have children, but how can I marry? I cannot bear for a man to touch me. Though I have enjoyed being with you, a kiss is very different from what you will want from a wife. From me.”

She lifted her head and looked at him. “Don't you see now? I can't be a true wife to you. The thought of being with any man that way fills me with fear.”

“It wouldn't be like that between us, Asa. Will I want you? Yes. I want you now. But that doesn't mean I can't control myself. I can go slow for you. I've known of women who have been forced before and yet they have gone on to marry and live happy lives.”

“And you believe that I can, especially since he didn't succeed. But it goes deeper than that, Eirik. If that were all that happened, perhaps I would have recovered from it. I know women go through far worse than I did, and many of them aren't blessed with two brothers who love them like mine do.

“Because of me, Magnus nearly died. If it weren't for my beauty luring Hakon to me, Magnus never would have come so close to death and never would have borne the horrible scar that he does now. It was my fault. I still see him bathed in his own blood, lying as one dead in my arms. And I could do nothing to help him. If I hadn't trusted Hakon just for that moment, enough to talk to him instead of running right away, it wouldn't have happened. If I weren't so pretty, he never would have wanted me. If, if, if.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and wrenched herself away from him. “If I don't trust and don't let any man near me, then no one will be hurt because of me ever again. Whenever I imagine what it would be like to be with someone, all I feel is Hakon's hands on me, and all I see is blood.”

“And so am I supposed to be in danger because of you?” He raised his hand to touch her shoulder, but she ducked away from him.

“That's not it. You're too fine to be saddled with someone like me for a wife. I'm like the dragon I carved, desirable and strong on the outside, but damaged on the inside. You would eventually resent me and we would grow to hate each other. So many women will want you in their beds and you should find one of them. I'm too much of a coward to try.”

“Coward?” He took her arms and turned her to him. It wasn't likely he would let her go, so she didn't try to escape. “How can you say that?”

“I just sat there with Magnus gushing blood all over us, my hands inside his body, holding him together. I did nothing but scream and scream until someone finally heard me.”

“And what else should you have done, Asa? Any other girl of fourteen would have run from there as soon as she could. If you had, Magnus would have died. You stayed there, even with the danger from Hakon and even with your brother's blood all over you. You were as brave as any warrior, even at so young an age. And because of it, you saved him.”

“But if it wasn't for me, it wouldn't have happened in the first place.”

His hands tightened on her arms. “No. If it wasn't for Hakon's greed and perfidy, it wouldn't have happened. It was his doing, his fault, not yours. I don't know who's been telling you any different, but they're lying.”

Her pulse seemed to stop. Estrid. Estrid had been whispering this in her ear all these years, making her believe she was at fault. Hakon had said he'd marry Estrid and then he changed his mind. As desperate as she was to marry and leave Thorsfjell, could it be that she thought Asa had taken him from her? The resentment might have built up through the years into the hatred she harbored now. Could she be the one?

Eirik released her, but cradled her face between his hands. “When I touch you, Asa, do you feel Hakon? Do you hear his voice, feel his evil, smell his scent?”

She tried to smile. “No. You bathe. And you're nothing like he was.”

“I hope not.” He gave her a light kiss, but still it seared her mind and her body grew languid. “When I kiss you, do you feel anyone but me? See anyone but me?”

“No.” When he was with her, no one else existed. He chased the shadows away. But there must be more to this arrangement. Magnus would never give her to just anyone. How would Eirik come up with the bride price? And they hadn't even consulted her.

Drawing back from him, she narrowed her eyes. “What did you offer Magnus?”

He cleared his throat. “What do you mean?”

“Don't play games with me, Eirik. I'm not some naïve girl. You didn't just walk in here and tell him you want to marry me. Why would he agree to this? He's turned down many others who promised all manner of riches and trade agreements. You're just a rune caster. Aren't you?”

“He put up a good fight. And yes, we did make an agreement to become allies. A large band of outcasts has taken over my village in Hordaland and I was traveling to my cousin's holding in Trøndelag to get his help in fighting them. They may be headed this way, so I warned Magnus of them. We felt it would benefit both of us to join forces.”

“And bind that agreement with me.” It was expected, but that Magnus would do it without asking her first, was a shock. Hurt welled up in her.

“Asa.” Eirik tried to take her hand, but she pulled it away. “Asa, he said no amount of gold or power would persuade him to give you in marriage. He has seen for some time what was happening between you and me. He believes I'm the one man you could accept, who could make you happy. And that's what he wants more than anything.”

“So I'm trapped between you both.”

“No, not trapped. Never that.”

“Yes, I am. I have no choice or this alliance will fall apart, and that could endanger my people. Why would Magnus have a stake in what happens in the village where you live? Why would he need any help to defend Thorsfjell? What difference does it make why these outcasts are coming north? We've always been isolated here and the only one who knows where we are who would be outcast is . . .”

Her stomach twisted and her heart missed several beats. “Hakon.”

“Now, Asa . . .” He reached for her, but she stood and whirled on him.

“Hakon has attacked your home and now Magnus wants to meet him there before he can come here and get his revenge on us. That's it, isn't it?” She walked to the table to get away from him. His hammer pendant on its thick chain lay there. The
arrha
, part of her bride price? Pain shot through her. “Neither of you was going to tell me. You've arranged my whole life. Then you were going to set sail for this battle and have me stay here while you fight him. You and my brothers have something else coming if you think you'll leave me out of this fight.”

“Asa, we hadn't even discussed that yet.” He stood and took a step toward her.

She backed away. “Of course not.
You
haven't discussed it. Notice you've left me out of that little decision. I know Magnus. He thinks I'll lose my mind if I know about this, and he won't tell me. I won't be deprived of my revenge in this. It all started with me. And if I have anything to say about it, it will end with me.”

She swept past him to the door. All these years, she had prayed to the gods that Hakon was dead, that he'd died in agony somewhere and would never threaten anyone again. But he was still alive and had gained enough power to attract men to him. Or was it just the promise of power and wealth? Lightning seemed to strike her.
The wealth of Thorsfjell
.

In the common area, Magnus and Leif sat at the table, but the other men had gone. Just the two of them were there, which suited her.

“It's a good thing you made certain I was unarmed, because I'd like to kill you, Magnus.” She stopped at the end of the table, her hands on her hips. Eirik walked up beside her, but she ignored him.

“That must have been some marriage proposal, Eirik.” Leif lifted his cup to him, then took a drink. “Well done.”

“This isn't about that. Although I don't appreciate the way you've decided my life for me without even thinking to ask me. I had to bare my soul and my past to Eirik to try to convince him why I won't be a suitable wife for him. And then I find out that Hakon is still alive and is making plans to come here and attack us. Imagine my delight.”

“Asa, I only found out this evening myself.” Magnus stood. “We need to take this into my room. I won't air these black sails in an open wind.”

That took the wind out of her own sails a bit, but anger still simmered within her. She glared at Magnus as he walked past her, but he made sense. In this, at any rate. The entire village didn't need to know how her brother had betrayed her. It was humiliating that she, a shieldmaiden, would be bartered off like some mindless girl who was good only for bearing children and bringing political power to men.

As soon as they had all stepped into Magnus's room and shut the door, he scowled at her. “It wasn't until Eirik and I spoke this evening that we put things together and I realized Hakon is most likely the leader of a band of outcasts that attacked his village. Up to this point, I knew no more about Eirik than you did.”

“Probably less,” Leif said. They all looked at him and he shrugged. “They have been spending time together.”

“Anyhow, we were discussing an alliance.”

Leif winced. “Not smart.”

Her temper rose again. “You mean selling me to the highest bidder.” She pointed to the pendant on the table. “Is that it? The
arrha
? Or will something else be thrown into the pot? Did you intend to keep this from me, that Hakon is alive and well and coming here to visit us?”