Lords of Darkness and Shadow (118 page)

His words only made her burst into soft sobs.  With a sigh, Tevin put his arms around her, holding her tightly against him. She clung to him, her soft body pressed close.

“I have felt so guilty for these feelings I harbor for you, thinking them very disrespectful to Brac’s memory,” she wept. “At first I thought I felt them because you had been kind to me and I was grieving and lonely, but as time passed, I realized these feelings had nothing to do with Brac’s passing. They were strong on their own. Now I cannot deny them no matter how hard I try.”

His face was buried in the top of her head as he rocked her gently.  “As I have harbored the same guilt, only worse. I thought perhaps I was taking advantage of your vulnerability.”

She pulled her face out of his chest, looking up at him. “Never have you done that. You are a man of too much honor.”

He gazed down at her, feeling that uncontrollable pull again. It was a supreme struggle not to kiss her, out in the open to the shock of her son.   A massive hand came up, smoothing her hair away from her face as he absorbed her lovely features.

“My cousin will be here for a week or two,” he said quietly. “You and I will be separated for as long. Perhaps… perhaps it will give us time to discover what we really feel, if it is something more than pity or convenience or lust.”

She knew he was right, though she did not want to be separated from him, not even for a moment. “And if we discover they are true?”

He pulled her closer. “Then I will go to Paris. I will not stop until I have discovered what has become of Louisa.”

Cantia swallowed hard. “And if she is alive?”

“I will petition the pope to annul the marriage on the ground of abandonment and cruelty. And then I will marry you, we will have a dozen sons just like Hunt, and we will grow old in each other’s arms.”

She smiled, loving the feel of him against her, loving the glorious handsomeness of his masculine face. The wind was kicking up, blowing his copper curls into her face. “But what if you cannot obtain an annulment? What then?”

“I will still adore you for the rest of my life. You and no other.”

Her smile faded. “And I will still bear you a dozen strong sons and we will still grow old in each other’s arms.”

“I cannot ask that of you.”

“You did not. If it is the only way I can have you, then I am happy to make that choice.”

His dark eyes glittered like shards of obsidian, hard and unyielding and powerful.  “Madam, I cannot imagine a greater honor, but you should think carefully about that statement while we are apart. I may hold you to it.”

“I would hope you do.”

He wanted to kiss her so badly that he began to shake. Unable to control himself, he lifted both of her hands and hungrily kissed them, devouring her flesh, sucking on her fingers until Cantia gasped softly. He nibbled her palms, her wrists, even her fingernails.  In his grasp, Cantia was breathing heavily.

“Oh, Tevin,” she gasped. “When you do that.…”

“I know,” he murmured, his lips against the back of her right hand. “If you could only feel my need for you now, madam, you would know how badly I want you. All of you.”

Shockingly strong words, but she was not surprised or offended. She was not a maiden and Brac’s want for her had been insatiable.  She knew what it meant to have a man make love to her. She wondered what it would be like when Tevin did. And she had no doubt that he soon would.

She moved close to him, taking his face between her hands. “I will take Hunt back to the castle so that he may play with his dog in the yard,” she whispered, her face an inch from his. “And then I will retreat to my chamber. You may find me there in one hour. Alone.”

He stared at her a moment, unsure if he heard correctly. He knew what she meant simply by the look in her eye. “Are you sure?”

“Verily.”

“But… Cantia, I do not want you to think that I am only interested in conquest. I do not take this lightly.”

“Nor do I,” she whispered. With that, she pressed her open mouth against him, her tongue engaging in a delicate dance with his. The blaze between them flared like a fire with too much dry kindling and, for a brief moment, Tevin was in danger of swallowing up her entire face. He couldn’t get enough of her. But just as quickly, she pulled away, walking hastily in the direction of her frolicking son. 

Heart thumping painfully against his ribs, Tevin watched her go.  He put his hand on his chest as if to stop the crazy beating. He couldn’t breathe. But she said she would be waiting for him in an hour.

It was the longest hour of his life.

CHAPTER SEVEN

With her healing ribs, Val couldn’t seem to find a comfortable position. The sling back chairs did not provide enough support and the benches were too awkward.  The only way she could find even moderate relief was if she pushed a sling back chair against a wall and propped herself up with a pillow. 

Ever since their return from the cathedral that morning, she had been seated in the solar in precisely that up-right position.  Though she hated needlework and wasn’t any good at it, she was giving it a moderate try.  One of the serving women had given her a clean piece of linen on Lady Cantia’s old frame and several colors of silk thread. So, like a true lady, Val was attempting to do something other than shoot arrows and thrust swords. Truth was that she couldn’t do much else.

It was turning out to be a horrendous piece of work over the past few hours she had been attempting it.  And it was difficult to focus, too, considering the solar door was near the entry of the keep and she could see all manner of traffic passing in and out. Cantia and Hunt came in at one point, the boy rushing into the great hall while his mother mounted the steps to the upper levels. Then Myles came in a short time later and parked himself in a chair next to Val just to pass the time.  Val had always liked Myles; he was handsome, wise and good of character. But he only spoke of the weather and a new charger or the price of a good sword. Never anything she might like to hear, though she wasn’t sure what, in fact, she might like to hear from him. Still, she wished he would speak to her of something other than warring.

Tevin came in a short time after Myles’ arrival, entered the solar, and engaged Myles in talk of de Gael’s arrival. Myles seemed to have calmed after his initial outburst; in fact, he showed his reluctance when Tevin asked him to escort the ladies to another location for the duration of the earl’s visit.  He wanted to stay, but Tevin convinced him that escorting the ladies was far more important. Val was secretly glad he would be going.  Maybe she could coerce him into speaking on the color of her eyes instead of the color of battle.

But thoughts of Myles aside, Val sensed something in Tevin. Outwardly, her brother was cool and collected, as usual. But an odd flicker in his eyes gave him an almost edgy expression.  When he spoke with Myles, it was if his mind was elsewhere.  Val wondered if it had something to do with Cantia. Tevin just didn’t seem like himself since they had returned from the cathedral.

To make the situation even stranger, he lingered so long in the solar that it almost seemed as if he was killing time. Tevin was a man perpetually busy, which made it seem odd for him to loiter over meaningless conversation. But that was exactly what he seemed to be doing. Val was becoming suspicious.  Just as she was preparing to ask him why he seemed so solicitous, Hunt entered the solar with a stick in one hand and the big yellow dog on his heels.  The blue-eyed boy looked up at Tevin.

“My lord,” he tugged on Tevin’s tunic. “Have you theen my grandfather?”

Tevin looked down at the child; the question surprised him. Hunt had been displaying the resilience of a child in the wake of his father’s death and his grandfather’s subsequent madness, which made the question seem odd.  It was the first the boy had mentioned his grandfather in two days. 

“Your grandfather is safe, Hunt,” he said evenly. “You will see him soon, I am sure.”

Hunt’s little brow was furrowed. “But he promisthed to make me a new sword. I buried my other sword with my father. Where is grandfather?”

Tevin glanced at Val; her pale eyes were wide, wondering how Tevin was going to handle this delicate operation.   Tevin crouched down so he was nearly eye to eye with the child.

“Your grandfather is not feeling well,” he said honestly. “He is very sad that your father has died. He needs a few days to rest and then I am sure he will be well again.”

Hunt’s eyes were the shape of Cantia’s, even if they weren’t the same color. But Tevin also saw a good deal of Brac in the little face.

“But where ith he?” Hunt persisted. “Can I go and see him?”

“Nay, lad,” Tevin did not want the boy visiting his hysterical grandfather in the vault. “Not today. Perhaps tomorrow.”

Hunt didn’t protest, though it was obvious he was disappointed.  He looked at his stick and then looked back at Tevin. He raised the stick. “Will you fight me, then?”

Tevin had spent nearly an hour in the solar, marking time until the magical hour was up. Cantia had told him one hour in her chamber, and he planned to be there right on the mark.  But gazing into Hunt’s sweet little face, he felt that he could not refuse the lonely little boy. To have lost his father, and now his grandfather, was coming to take a toll on him. 

“I will fight you,” he agreed quietly. “But you cannot fight with a stick. We will find the smithy and see if he cannot fashion you a sword suitable for a young man.”

Hunt’s eyes widened. “You will?” He beamed a big smile, complete with two missing bottom teeth. “Can we go now?”

If he took him now, he would miss his date with Cantia. But gazing into her son’s face, he suspected that she would understand. He put his hand on the boy’s blond head and turned him for the door. “We shall,” he said.

He hadn’t taken a step when Myles spoke. “I shall take him, my lord. I am sure you have more pressing duties.”

Tevin almost took the excuse. He could still make it to Cantia at the appointed time.  But gazing down at the child, something deep inside would not let him be so selfish. 

“I have no more pressing duties than to properly arm Master Penden,” he said. “Come along if you like.”

Myles took a few steps after him, then suddenly turned to Val as if he had just remembered she as in the room.  He held out a hand to her. “Val? Come with us?”

She smiled; Tevin thought she actually blushed and he thought on Cantia’s earlier observations.
Maybe she was right
, he thought.  Stiffly, Val rose, taking Myles outstretched hand.  Happily, Hunt led them all from the solar and out into the yard.

The smithy had been at Rochester for years and was happy to help with Hunt’s first weapon. He set aside what he was working on, measured Hunt’s arm, and went to work. Frankly, with Viscount Winterton’s massive presence hanging over him, there wasn’t much else he could do. But it was a long process, certainly not one that could be accomplished in a few hours.

As the sun dipped into the late afternoon, Tevin had never felt so restless. All he could think of was Cantia waiting for him, and here he was playing with her son.  But he remained nonetheless, leaning back against the support beam of the smithy’s lean-to and watching the ruddy man heat the steel, pound it, cool it, and repeat the process. More than once he had to pull Hunt out of the man’s way. The child was so excited he could hardly stand it.

During the course of the afternoon, Val and Myles stood in quiet conversation as the smithy worked.  Eventually, Val’s ribs ached too much from standing around and Myles escorted her back into the keep. Tevin watched his sister go, paying closer attention to the pair than he had before purely based on Cantia’s observations.  If there was something going on, he wanted to be aware of it. Val was his only sister and he was understandably protective over her, even with a suitor as mild as Myles de Lohr.  Moreover, he was quite pleased with the prospect.

When the sun began to set, he was forced to swallow his impatience and resign himself to the fact that he would not be seeing Cantia alone this day. As much as he had been looking forward to it, more than he had looked forward to anything in years, somehow he was not entirely disturbed. Spending the afternoon with a very excited five year old had been a most rewarding substitute. Hunt was a wonderful little boy and he was coming to like him a great deal. He congratulated Brac Penden on fathering such a fine son and he was also quite sorry that Brac would never see the boy live to adulthood.  It would have been a proud thing.

Lost to his thoughts as he watched the hypnotizing rhythm of the smithy, he was surprised to see Cantia enter the lean-to. She went straight for her son and put her hand on the boy’s shoulder, asking him his business with the smithy. Hunt promptly turned around and pointed at Tevin, still leaning up against the support column. Partially hidden in the shadows, Cantia hadn’t seen him when she entered the shelter.  Tevin unfolded his arms and pushed himself off the beam.

“Your son came to me a few hours ago with a serious problem, my lady,” he told her as he moved in her direction. “Since he was generous enough to bury his sword with his father, he had no weapon. I told him we would remedy the situation immediately and have been here ever since.”

A light of understanding flickered in her big eyes; he saw it. She looked down at her son. “So that’s it,” she murmured, ruffling the blond hair. “I was wondering where you went. Both of you.”

Hunt was beside himself with excitement. He held his mother’s hand tightly as he showed her the sword the smithy was working on.  Tevin watched her the entire time, the shape of her exquisite face, the expressions that creased her brow.  He couldn’t look at anything else.  But at some point he became aware that she did not look entirely pleased and when the smithy gave the boy the sword to test the weight, he moved up beside her.

“Did I do wrong?” he asked softly.

She turned to look at him, her sweet face gently illuminated in the dusk. “What do you mean?”

“You do not seem entirely pleased about the sword.”

She lifted an eyebrow, though there was no anger behind it. “Brac always wanted to give him a metal sword but I would not allow it. He can hurt himself, or others, with it.”

He wriggled his eyebrows. “Then perhaps I should have asked you first.  Your son came to me in the solar a few hours ago and asked where his grandfather was. I gave him an evasive answer that somehow led to the statement that Charles had promised your son another sword in place of the one he buried with Brac. So I ended up down here with the smithy.”

She nodded in understanding, her gaze moving back to the little boy as he swung the sword about under the smithy’s watchful eye. “I assumed that something came up when you did not come to my bower,” she said softly. “Clearly, I cannot fault you your noble deeds on behalf of my son. And for that, I thank you.”

He took another step so that the right side of his body brushed up against her. “Know that I would not have missed any opportunity to spend time with you unless it was undeniably important,” he muttered. “I thought perhaps a lonely little boy qualified as such.”

“It does,” she looked at him again, her beautiful face serene. “Given the choice, I would have made the same one.”

“I would still like to see you alone.”

“There will be more opportunity.”

“Are you sure? You have not reconsidered our earlier conversation, have you?”

She smiled faintly, studying the lines of his strong face. “No, Tevin. I have not.”

He smiled back at her but dare not touch her.  He forced himself to change the subject lest he lose his self-control.  It seemed as if the more time he spent around her, the more he wanted to touch her.

“Have you given any thought to where you and Hunt would like to go for the duration of my cousin’s visit?” he asked.

She nodded. “My father’s fortified home in Gillingham sits empty, as does a larger fortified manor in Darland a few miles to the southwest.  Either one of them would be acceptable.”

“Which would you prefer?”

She thought a moment. “I was born at Darland. I have always liked it there. The village even has an outdoor theatre where they give entertainment.”

He lifted an eyebrow at her. “You are not going to go cavorting about the town while you’re out from under my watchful eye, are you?”

She grinned. “Of course not. And even if I do, it is none of your affair. You’ll be here wildly entertaining your cousin and you’ll never even miss me.”

He put his massive hand on the overhead beam, leaning over her in a rather dominating and provocative stance.

“That, madam, is an untrue statement,” he rumbled. “I cannot go a moment of the day without thinking of you. When you are out of my sight, I shall miss you all the more.”

She gazed up at him, feeling his breath on her face. Her heart began to race. “Do you think that you shall be able to come and visit us while we are there?” she asked softly.

“I doubt it,” he replied. “All of my focus will be on Geoff. He’s like a naughty child that needs constant attention.”

“Then this parting will not be a particularly pleasant thing,” she said.

“Nay, it will not.”

Hunt interrupted their increasingly passionate conversation as he ran into the lean-to with his weapon aloft. “Mam!” he shouted as only a five year old can. “My sword ith good for fighting. Did you thee?”

“I did,” she put her hand on his head affectionately. “You must thank Lord Tevin for his generosity. It was most kind of him.”

The little boy had his sword in two hands. He looked up at Tevin with such naked joy that Tevin instinctively smiled. “Thank you, my lord,” he said. “Will you fight me now?”
Tevin cocked an eyebrow, though not unkind. “Perhaps tomorrow, lad. I suspect the evening meal is fast on the approach. There will be time for swordplay tomorrow.”