Lorraine Heath (8 page)

“Lot of handsome men in there who’d like to dance with you.”

“And I just want to dance with you.” His head snapped around, his eyes searching her face for the truth.

“I’m your wife, Jake. The first dance, the last dance, and every dance in between is yours. And you don’t even have to ask me. All you have to do is slip your hand in mine.”

“Would you want me to ask you if you weren’t my wife?”

“I wanted you to ask me at the last dance. I want you to ask me now. I enjoy dancing in your arms.” “I stepped on your feet.”

“Only at first. How many times had you danced before then?” “Once.”

“Ask me to dance,” she prodded softly. “Not because I’m your wife … but because you want to dance with me. Because I want to dance with you.”

Even in the darkness, she was beautiful. And she wanted to dance with him. He intertwined his fingers with hers.

“I thought you’d never ask,” she said, smiling, her hips swaying in motion to the music as they walked back into the barn, hand in hand.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough whiskey?”

Frank turned around, his jaw set. “I’m a grown man.”

“And you’re going to look like a grown fool if you keep drinking like that,” Rebecca said.

He studied his boots—polished earlier, now scuffed—before he brought his eyes back up to her. “Goddamn, Reb. She won’t even dance with me. That Ruth. I asked her real polite like you told me to and she just laughed and said no. Why won’t she dance with me?”

Rebecca understood some of his frustration. She had been attracted to Brett the first time she saw him, riding in from the north. “I don’t know, Frank. Some women in this world can’t look beyond the surface of a man. And it’s usually their loss. I notice she spends a lot of time sitting
on the side, waiting. I’m not sure I’d want to spend my life with someone who sat on the side. I’d rather have someone who was right in the middle, whooping it up every time.”

Frank’s brows drew together. “But she sure is pretty, Reb.”

“Pretty fades in time. And when it’s gone, you’re only left with what was underneath.”

Frank nodded, his mouth puckering. “I’m going to ask her one more time anyway.”

Watching him tromp off, she realized how fortunate she’d been. Brett had returned her feelings in equal measure.

“It’s about time beautiful women started coming to Texas,” said a voice that was resonant and suave. Rebecca turned, feeling an immediate aversion to the man as his brown eyes slowly traveled the length of her, assessing her attributes.

“And unfortunately, it appears I’m too late. I assume you’re married?”

She gave him a small smile that was as cold as she could muster. “Yes, I am.”

“Don’t worry, my dear. That won’t be a deterrent to our relationship. It will only make it more challenging.”

Rebecca released a short laugh. “I assure you, sir, we will never have a relationship.” Turning on her heel, she walked off and went to find Jake.

“Carrie says the doctor in town is sober one day a week,” he said as soon as she walked up. “I’m not having a drunk deliver your baby.”

Jake looked so disgruntled that Rebecca touched her fingertips to the corner of his turned-down mouth, trying to force his lips into a smile.

“It’ll be all right. I know you can do it.”

“Reb, this is different. You’re not a horse that means almost nothing to me. If I do something wrong—”

“Well, look what the devil drug up. My father’s bastard. Come to claim your land in Texas, have you?”

Jake felt as though he had been poleaxed as he slowly turned around, coming face to face with Ethan Truscott, the
nemesis of his past. Brown eyes met brown and Jake was surprised that after three years, he could still feel so much hatred directed towards him.

“You know, pretty lady, you really ought to show more common sense in selecting the company you keep. I don’t imagine your husband would be pleased to find out you’re spending time in the presence of this bastard.”

Rebecca took great pleasure in realizing the man she had recently snubbed was standing before them now. It would give her the chance to really put him in his place. “On the contrary, I don’t think my husband would mind at all.” She pressed up against Jake’s side. “Would you, Jake?”

Jake slipped his arm possessively around his wife. He’d never felt so proud in all his life. “No, I wouldn’t mind at all. Can’t say I’d be pleased, though, if I found you in the company of Ethan Truscott.”

Ethan shifted his eyes from Rebecca to Jake. “She’s your wife?” He snorted. “What whorehouse did you pick her up in?”

Jake released his hold on Rebecca and she quickly moved her hand to his chest to stay him. “Jake!” He looked at her.

“It’s not worth it,” she said quietly.

He blew out a deep gust of air, nodding before turning back to face Ethan. “I got no quarrel with you.”

“No? Then you have a different recollection of our childhood than I do.”

“Don’t be causing trouble tonight, Ethan.” Another brown-eyed man joined the group.

“Dammit, Zach. He got the land and we got the debts.”

“Maybe he deserved the land.”

“Like hell he did. You’re just too damn forgiving, you know that? Just like Father.”

“I don’t remember Father being so forgiving where Jake was concerned.” He extended a hand to Jake. “I’ve got no hard feelings.”

Jake hesitated. He could count all the acts of kindness that had been directed his way during the years he had lived on their ranch on one hand. But Zachary Truscott had never
singled him out for ridicule or abuse. He put his hand in Zach’s and received a handshake firmer than he had expected.

Zach tilted his head towards Rebecca. “Ma’am.” Then he hit his brother on the shoulder. “Let’s go.” “I gotta—”

Zach grabbed Ethan’s shirt front. “You start a fight here and I’ll side against you. And I imagine everyone else will, too. You’re the bastard here tonight. Now let’s go.”

The expression on Ethan’s face announced louder than any words that matters weren’t settled between him and Jake. He abruptly turned and stormed out of the barn, shoving aside anyone who, in his opinion, was standing in his path. Close behind him, Zach followed.

Moving the towel curtain back slightly so the full moon could shine into the room, Rebecca gazed out upon the peaceful star-filled night sky, knowing her husband was feeling very little peace. They had come home and gone through the motions of getting ready for bed without a word. Now he lay staring at the ceiling, one hand behind his head. She rolled over and touched his arm. He gave her a small smile as he lifted his arm to welcome her.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

His hand idly rubbed her arm as she waited for him to reconcile his feelings.

“Tell me,” she finally said softly.

His hand stilled, and when he answered his voice was unsteady and low. “Those two men are my half brothers. I never knew for sure before tonight. There were times when I thought the man who took me away long after my mother died was my father. But then I’d think no man could treat his son, his own flesh and blood, the way he treated me. When he came and got me, I was like a little puppy that’s being taken to a new home, its tail a-waggin’, its mouth open and its tongue hanging out in anticipation. Then when we got there, I got hit because in my excitement, I hadn’t sat still enough in the wagon.”

“How old were you?”

“Seven. He set me up in a stall in the barn. I had one blanket to keep me warm at night. When winter rolled in, to keep warm, I’d sleep next to whatever animal I could coax into laying down. I got Ethan and Zach’s hand-me-downs. Their clothes never seemed to fit right. I always looked like somebody that nobody wanted.”

“And you were too young to leave,” Rebecca stated softly.

“But I tried. When I was nine. It was November. It had just turned cold and I wanted to go somewhere that was warm. But he came after me. He paraded me around, stark naked, in front of the entire ranch so I’d learn what I’d have if I didn’t have him. He tied me up in the barn for three days, alone, without any food or water. Without my blanket. I couldn’t get to the animals for warmth. I couldn’t go anywhere to relieve myself. I wanted to die when he came to the barn to release me, to make sure I understood how grateful I should be. I was sitting in this mess that I had made and Ethan doubled over laughing. And I got hit for making the mess.”

She tightened her hold on him wishing she could take away his pain. “When I met Ethan tonight, I took an instant dislike to him. And now I know why. He’s a cruel, ugly man.”

Rolling her over to her back, Jake splayed his fingers on her stomach.

“I’ll never beat this child, or humiliate him, or make him feel like he’s nothing.”

She touched the scar above his brow. “I know. You’re such a good person. I don’t know how they could have treated you like that.”

In the moonlight, she saw a smile cross his face. “Do you know when I first thought I might be worth something?”

She shook her head. “No.”

His eyes held hers. “This crazy brown mustang had been trying to throw me for pretty close to half an hour, and I thought for sure I was going to have to give up on him. Then he just calmed down and let me ride him.” His hand
moved from her stomach to her cheek. “And I felt this warmth coming at me, and I turned and saw this beautiful girl leaning over the fence. Her dark hair was caught up in a long braid hanging over her shoulder, her black Stetson was tipped up off her forehead, her blue eyes were shining, and a wonderful straight smile went from one side of her face to the other. Then she spoke to me—me, the bastard who had never received a word of praise since his mother died—and she told me she wanted me to break her next horse. I realized for the first time in my life that I might have something of value to offer another human being.”

“Jake, that was over three years ago. How can you remember all that?”

“Why did you remember?” he asked in a low voice as his mouth slowly moved downward to cover hers. She raked her fingers up the nape of his neck, into his thick curling hair, pressing him down on her as her lips parted. He groaned as his tongue slipped into her mouth, exploring the sweet depths he had denied himself since they had left Kentucky. His thumb gently caressed her soft cheek. He wanted to touch the softness of her entire body, but didn’t dare. He knew she had lain with a man she loved, had felt another’s loving arms around her, had experienced that man’s expression of love and had returned it in kind. How could he ask or expect her to settle for less, to be intimate with him, a man who loved her, a man she cared for but did not love. He needed to at least feel she wanted him, even if just a little, before he made love to her.

Rebecca felt the warmth of his kiss seep deep down within her. His tongue retreated and hers followed, exploring his mouth at leisure. She could taste the one whiskey he had sipped earlier in the evening. She felt the roughness of his tongue, and the sleek underside. How nice it would feel to have that tongue touch more than her mouth. But she contented herself with the kiss, for she felt anything more would be a betrayal of her love for Brett.

He rolled them back to their sides before his mouth released hers. She snuggled up against him, the child within her moving against him as well. She couldn’t believe Jake
had remembered that day in such detail. And why
had
she remembered it?

She could recall everything as vividly as Jake had. She could still see him keeping his balance as the horse tried to throw him. She had gasped three times when the horse had bucked with such intensity that she was sure the rider would be thrown, but he wasn’t. Then the horse had calmed and she’d spoken to the man. She had expected a broad smile to cross his features, and waited for him to dismount and saunter up to her, introduce himself and proclaim to be the best hand in the state. But instead, he’d given her a small smile, a smile so small that she didn’t know one side tilted up higher than the other. Then he’d dismounted and asked Bassett what he was to do next. She had known then he’d never come after her like the other men. She’d wanted to get to know him so she’d had Bassett assign him to her cattle. Rebecca had always enjoyed talking with him, working by his side. And now she was his wife. Her arms tightened around him. She was his wife. And she promised herself she’d never hurt him.

But promises are easily made when one knows not what the future holds. And promises given only to one’s own heart are easily forgotten.

T
HE RIDER HESITATED
a fair distance from the group assembled to build the barn.

Standing beside her husband, Rebecca watched as Jake’s eyes narrowed. Then he lifted his arm, signaling the rider to approach. She felt the familiar tug on her heart, only this time, the tug was a little harder, touched a little deeper. What she was beginning to feel towards him went beyond simple affection, but she wasn’t sure it was love. She slipped her arm behind his back, welcoming the pressure of his arm as it came around her, drawing her near.

Zach Truscott drew his horse up beside Jake.

“Heard you were building a barn today. Thought you could use some help.”

“We can always use a good man,” Jake said.

“Can’t say I’m that. But I can hammer a nail into wood.”

Leaving the group of women who were preparing the noon meal, Rebecca walked to the oak tree beside their house where Zach was lifting a ladle of cool water to his lips.

“Must have been difficult to come here today,” Rebecca said.

Zach returned the ladle to the bucket of water, his eyes meeting Rebecca’s. “No, ma’am. What was hard was extending my hand the other night. I wasn’t sure he’d accept it, and I didn’t realize how badly I wanted him to until he did.”

He allowed his gaze to roam towards the barn, which was half completed. “Your husband intrigues me. You can’t begin to comprehend the amount of hate that surrounded him when he was growing up. I don’t understand why he doesn’t seem to harbor any bitterness.”

“He’s told me a little.”

Looking askance at her, he said, “I imagine it was only a little.” His eyes went back to Jake. “My mother hated him because he was visible proof of her husband’s infidelity. My father hated him because he saw Jake as his fall from Grace. I think my father thought if he showed God he had no feelings for the boy, God would forgive his transgressions and welcome him into the Kingdom. Ethan hated him because he was living testimony that our father was human. Ethan worshipped Father as he worshipped God, questioned nothing the man said or did. Jake’s presence shattered his illusions.”