Lost and Found (A Novel) (16 page)

Caelie took the file and make her way back to Alex. Though relieved that she no longer need to work with Wynne, she wondered if the switch back to journalism had anything to do with Wynne’s conversation with Elise before Caelie interrupted them. Wynne had been acting strangely since bumping into Caelie earlier outside the office. It almost appeared as if he was trying to distant himself away from her.

The rest of the morning passed in a blur for Caelie. She went through the motions completing her tasks like a zombie, her mind and soul empty. She knew that her lackluster performance would eventually caught up with her but at the moment, she could not care less. Lunch time could not have come soon enough and true to her words, Chanell came over to drag her out for lunch with Alex leading the way.

It was a first for Caelie, going out for a meal with friends. There were so many issues that were making her self-conscious that what could have been an enjoyable lunch turned out to be an awkward experience for Caelie. Firstly, the cafe that they had went to would not normally have been within Caelie’s option list. The cost of a meal alone could have covered her usual lunch over three days. As if sensing her worry, Alex had offered to give a treat but Caelie being Caelie, did not want to feel indebted and had tried to decline her offer for a few minutes. In the end, Caelie had no choice but to accept it, especially since Chanell decided to team up with Alex on the matter. Uncomfortable with having someone paying for her meal, Caelie had ordered a salad, which was the cheapest on the menu, to much protest from Alex and Chanell which resulted in another debate. This time, Caelie had refused to budge and by the time they had all settled down with food in front of them, thirty minutes had already passed.

With Caelie having the smallest meal size, she finished it way earlier than the others and sat uncomfortably sipping her drink as Alex and Chanell talked about practically everything under the sun in between their bites. Caelie had never been good at socializing and so kept mum, not knowing what or when to chip in. Occasionally, they would throw questions at her to keep her within the communication loop but with her one to two words answers, it was difficult to maintain the flow of conversation with her. By the time they had returned to work, Caelie was so exhausted that all she wanted to do was to return home and snuggled in bed. She never knew that socializing could be so mentally draining even without her doing anything much. If that was how their lunches were going to be, Caelie hoped with all her might that they would leave her alone to her packed sandwich the next day.

When six o’clock came in the evening, Caelie was more than eager to leave the office and back to the solitary confines of her home. Turning around her cubicle, Caelie caught sight of Wynne’s room that was still lighted, reminding her that there were things she needed to say to him. Her heart beating nervously at the thought of meeting Wynne, Caelie swallowed her saliva and took small steps until she reached his closed door, knocking softly on it.

“Come in.”

Caelie hesitated for a second before turning the knob and gingerly poked her head in. Wynne was leaning on his chair, facing the glass window across the room, fingers drumming on his desk. Praying that he was not in a foul mood, Caelie stepped inside, leaving the door wide opened. She felt safe knowing that she was not in an enclosed space alone with him.

“Um, Mr. Grant?” Caelie called out timidly when he made no move to turn around.

Hearing the unexpected voice caused Wynne to swivel so fast in his chair that he almost toppled over. He sat dumbstruck, staring at the person who would have given anything to stay away from him and yet, there she was, came knocking on his door. Realizing that Caelie was not going to speak until he had acknowledged her presence, Wynne cleared his throat, “Yes?”

“Uh, I...want to thank you for giving me a ride that day. It was rude of me to just rushed off without even saying anything to you.” Caelie looked down nervously.

“It’s alright.” Wynne replied simply. He watched curiously as Caelie started fidgeting, playing with the strap of her bag. She appeared as if she was contemplating whether to tell him something. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, making Caelie even more nervous.

“And uh...sorry about your helmet. I kind of forgot about it.” Caelie looked up sheepishly at Wynne. “It’s, uh...still at the house in the countryside. I’ll try to get it back for you the soonest possible.”

“Oh the helmet. Don’t worry, you can keep it.”

“K...keep it?” Caelie stuttered, confused.

As soon as the words had slipped out of Wynne’s mouth, he groaned internally at the blunder he had made. He had not intended for it to come across like that. “No, err...I mean I don’t really need that helmet. So, take your time.” He said quickly.

“Oh, right then. Thanks Mr. Grant.”

Wynne watched as Caelie walked towards the door. She stopped just before she stepped out. Her body tilted slightly, enough for Wynne to see the confusion that was still etched on her face, making him kicked himself under the table. As the door closed behind Caelie, Wynne leaned back on his chair and sighed. He did not know why ever since the conversation he had with Elise, he no longer knew how to react around Caelie. He wanted to be nice to her but after years of being a jerk, he did not know how to be cordial towards a girl. That was why he had requested for Elise to send Caelie back to Alex for now, especially with Caelie in a vulnerable state. He had thought that he would be happy that Elise had acceded to his request. Finally, Caelie would be off his team, something which he had wanted from the start. Yet, seeing Caelie walked away from him, there was a strange feeling of loss within him that he could not decipher.

“Just who are you, Caelie?” He whispered into the empty air.

CHAPTER 12: PRESENT YEAR

Her fingers moved rhythmically across the keyboard. Her eyes fixed on the monitor, reading the words as they appeared on the screen before her. Grammatical and spelling errors sporadically adorned the paragraphs, which would have been her pet peeve in the past. Since a month ago however, she could not care less whether the mistakes were corrected now or later at the editing stage. It would suffice for her to know that the final outcome would be satisfactory.

“Are you saving those errors for later? That looks like it will need quite a fair bit of proofreading to neaten it up.”

Caelie jumped in her seat, abruptly turning around at the voice behind her. She wasn’t expecting to have anyone come up from behind her, much less the editor herself. It was lunch time and as usual, the office was practically deserted except for a selected few who had to work through their lunchtime to meet deadlines. Caelie herself should have been out with Alex and Chanell but after much persuasion and well-thought excuses, she finally managed to get them to leave her to her sandwiches.

Slightly embarrassed at having been caught doing her work in a slipshod manner, Caelie hung her head down, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “I...just...want to get all my ideas and thoughts out first...and edit them later.” She answered in a small voice.

“Hmm, have you had your lunch?”

“Yes, Ms. Kerbs.”

“Good, let’s take a walk.”

Caelie looked up confused at what Elise could possibly mean. Elise was already walking briskly away from her, swinging her bag in her hand and heading towards the entrance of the office.

“Grab your bag and hurry up Caelie. We don’t have much time.” Elise called over her shoulder, without breaking her stride.

Not having much of a choice, Caelie picked up her bag and rushed after Elise whom, by then, had already stepped out of the office. “Err...where are we going, Ms. Kerbs?” Caelie asked, stepping into the elevator just as the door started to slide close.

“A walk. Didn’t I say so earlier?” There was an air of finality in Elise’s voice, which hinted to Caelie that it would be in her best interest not to question Elise further.

Hence, Caelie followed silently, walking a step behind Elise as she continued on blocks after blocks until at last stopping in front of a quaint little cafe that Caelie had not come across before. But that was because she hardly ever explored the places, preferring to stick with familiar ones.

“Here we are.” Elise pushed open the door, walking purposefully towards an empty table for two by the window and seating down on one of the chairs.

Caelie followed suit, taking a seat opposite Elise, who was flipping through the menu. While waiting awkwardly, she kept herself busy by studying the interior decor of the cafe. There was a very homely feel to it, just the kind of place that Caelie would loved to frequent. The furniture, though simple, gave a very cozy feel to the place and the soft yellow lighting further enhanced the ambience. It was also neither too crowded nor too sparsely populated for lack of customers. Simply put, it was the perfect place to relax. Already, Caelie could feel herself slowly settling down comfortably, her confused head clearing a little.

“What would you like to have, Caelie?”

“Just a plain water will do.”

Elise raised her eyebrow at Caelie’s response. “Do you drink coffee?”

“Yes, sometimes.” Caelie replied just as a young waiter came sauntering over to take their orders. To her horror, Elise ordered two cups of cappuccino, instead of the plain water that she had requested.

“Since you are here, you might as well try one of their specialty drinks.” Elise smiled warmly at Caelie who returned it with a small smile of her own. “How have you been coping so far?”

“Okay, I suppose.” Caelie laughed nervously, wondering where the conversation would lead to.

“That’s good then if you are okay, because I’m hoping to see the spirited girl that used to inhabit inside of you returning soon.”

Caelie blinked her eyes in surprise at what Elise had just said. Before she could respond, the waiter came back, placing a cup of cappuccino in front of her. Caelie stared at her drink, suddenly engrossed in the chocolate flakes that had been sprinkled on top of the froth in the shape of a heart. It was such a pretty picture that Caelie almost did not want to touch the cup for fear of ruining it. It was a silly thought of course, since it would have come across as being rude if she left her drink untouched.

Elise watched as Caelie slowly stirred her spoon in her cup. She knew that Caelie was purposefully avoiding having to comment on what she had just said. She was hoping that by bringing Caelie out of the office for a talk, it would somehow made it easier for Caelie to open up, but she guessed, judging from Caelie’s reaction so far, it would take quite a while to get her going. Restraining the urge to sigh, Elise cleared her throat.

“I’ve always known you to be someone who is an achiever, a very good one I may add, who seizes opportunities as they come by. Someone who thrives on success, no matter how minute it might seems.” Elise paused, looking at Caelie straight in the eye. “What happened to that person, Caelie?” She asked softly.

Caelie maintained eye contact with Elise, though her face had started to cloud over. “People changed, Ms. Kerbs. That’s what happens.” She replied stonily. Caelie had always known that it was only a matter of time before Elise would start to question her attitude and performance at work. Though the thought had worried her, she pushed it to the back of her mind, thinking that she would cross the bridge when she came to it. Now that she was facing that bridge, it surprised her that it didn’t bother her as much, even if it would have caused her to get poor reviews for her internship.

Hearing Caelie’s response, Elise realized then, with much worry, that Caelie was already far gone in hopelessness. She felt that it was a pity to see Caelie waste her life away when she had so much going on for her. It saddened her to see the vigor lost in her. “I understand that it is not easy for you to have to go through what you did. Losing someone dear, especially if that person used to be all that matters in your life, is a terrible process and I know what you are feeling right now because I’ve gone through it before.”

Caelie looked up, wondering if Elise had indeed suffered like what she was going through right then. It was hard for her to believe that fact, seeing how strong a woman Elise was. She could not imagined a devastated Elise.

“You go through life, thinking that nothing else matters now that the person is no longer around and you stop taking control of your life. Instead, you prefer to drift along and let whatever comes your way dictate your life.” Elise looked away for a minute, a far away look in her eyes as if reliving some past memories of her life. “But that’s not the way things should be. That person wouldn’t have wanted to see you throw away your life just because he or she is no longer around to share your journey and celebrate your success with you.”

Caelie’s eyes glistened slightly as she thought about Annetta. Elise was right, and so was everyone else who had been trying to knock some sense into her muddled head. It would have disappointed Annetta to know how Caelie had turned out to be. Yet, she still could not bring herself to find the energy again to live life as she should. “There’s a lot more that you don’t know about what I’ve been through.”