Lost at School (19 page)

“That’s fine,” said Ms. Lowell. “But maybe you could at least listen to what they have to say.”

Ms. Lowell issued a warning as she climbed into the car. “Jason, you give him a hard time in this car and you can kiss your PlayStation goodbye. For a month.”

The three rode to school in silence.

At school, Ms. Lowell walked Joey to the door. “You want me to come in with you?” she asked.

“No,” said Joey.

Dr. Bridgman had been waiting for Joey just inside and opened the door. “Hi, Joey,” he said. “Welcome back.”

Joey didn’t reply.

“Let’s go chat a little with Mrs. Woods.”

Joey shuffled into his classroom with Dr. Bridgman, head down, and Mrs. Woods rose to greet him. “Hi, Joey, we missed you.”

“Mmm hmm,” said Joey, looking down at his hands.

Dr. Bridgman guided Joey to a table. “Have a seat, Joey. Let’s talk. Mrs. Woods and I wanted to see if we could try to come up with a plan so that what happened last time you were in her class doesn’t happen again. Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“From what you told me, the reason you got so upset was because you didn’t understand an assignment,” said Dr. Bridgman, easing his way into the Empathy step. “And then you got embarrassed in front of the other kids. Is that about right?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“I’m sorry I embarrassed you, Joey,” said Mrs. Woods. “I didn’t realize I was upsetting you.”

Joey looked up. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” he mumbled. “It was an accident.”

“I know that,” Mrs. Woods said softly.

Dr. Bridgman returned to Joey’s concern. “Joey, you get confused about how to do assignments a lot, yes?”

“Yes,” said Joey.

“Can you remember what was confusing about the social studies assignment the day that you got upset?” asked Mrs. Woods.

“It wasn’t the same,” said Joey.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” said Mrs. Woods. She looked to Dr. Bridgman for help.

“Can you tell us what you mean that it wasn’t the same?” asked Dr. Bridgman, trying to clarify Joey’s concern.

“You told us you wanted us to do a report on the natural resources of the state we picked,” Joey began, “and you said it should be just like the report we did on the population of the state … but the population is not the same thing as the natural resources. So it wasn’t the same.”

Mrs. Woods was still confused. “So, when I told you to write a report just like the one on the population, you couldn’t do it because even though it was the same state, and the same kind of report, the topic was different?”

“It’s not the same kind of report,” Joey insisted. “It was about the natural resources, not the population. I didn’t know how to do that. They’re not the same thing.”

Dr. Bridgman was intrigued. “What state did you pick, Joey?”

“Alaska.”

“And the first paper you wrote was about the population of Alaska?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And then you were supposed to write the same kind of report about the natural resources, but that was confusing for you because the population is not the same thing as the natural resources?”

“Yes. It’s not the same.”

Mrs. Woods was still a bit perplexed. “Joey, when I said ‘the same,’ I just meant the same
type
of report—you know, three or four paragraphs—even though the topics were different. Do you understand?”

“No.”

Mrs. Woods tried to explain. “Topics are one thing … how I want you to show me what you’ve learned is different.”

“You said it should be the same.”

“Yes, I understand that was confusing for you,” said Mrs. Woods. “But do you understand that I meant the same type of
report
and not the same
topic
?”

“Um, I guess, but …” Joey looked uncomfortable continuing.

“But what, Joey?” Dr. Bridgman encouraged.

Joey looked concerned. “I don’t want to say anything that isn’t, um, the right thing to say.”

“If it helps us understand why you were confused, I bet it’s OK,” said Dr. Bridgman.

Joey looked at Mrs. Woods and took a deep breath. “You didn’t say you meant the report and not the topic, and plus, there’s more to write about the natural resources, so it couldn’t be the same length, either.”

“Joey, can it be the same type of report—you know, writing some paragraphs—even if one report is longer than the other?” asked Dr. Bridgman.

“She said three or four paragraphs,” said Joey.

Mrs. Woods looked at Dr. Bridgman. “He’s right, I did.” Then she looked at Joey. “But, Joey, it would have been fine if you needed to write more than that. I just meant three or four paragraphs as a general guide.”

“Do you understand what Mrs. Woods means by ‘general guide,’ Joey?” asked Dr. Bridgman.

“No.”

Dr. Bridgman thought it might be best to move the Empathy step along. “So, Joey, you sometimes get confused about the directions on some assignments, especially if it’s not exactly the same as something else you’ve done. Yes?”

“I think so.”

“And that makes it hard for you to start working on the assignment, because you’re confused about what to do, yes?”

“Uh-huh.”

Dr. Bridgman added some reassurance before continuing with the Define the Problem step: “We’re not saying you shouldn’t get confused. And I think you’ve helped us understand why you get confused. Our concern is that, because you weren’t working on your assignment, you were disturbing the other students around you.”

“All I was doing was asking Blake what to do,” said Joey. “But he wouldn’t tell me. He told me to figure it out myself.”

Dr. Bridgman continued with the Invitation. “I wonder if there’s some plan you and Mrs. Woods could come up with to let her know you’re confused, so you don’t disturb the other kids around you. Do you have any ideas about that?”

Joey pondered the question. “I don’t know.”

“Take your time,” said Dr. Bridgman. “If you don’t have any ideas, Mrs. Woods or I might have some.”

There was another pause. “You could explain the assignments I’m not going to understand ahead of time,” said Joey.

“Joey, I’m not sure I’m going to know ahead of time which assignments you’re not going to understand,” said Mrs. Woods.

“Well, at least you don’t have to embarrass me,” mumbled Joey.

“You mean it would be good if Mrs. Woods and you figured out a way for her to explain things to you that isn’t embarrassing?” asked Dr. Bridgman.

Another pause. “Yeah,” said Joey.

Dr. Bridgman seemed pleased with the course the conversation was now taking. Mrs. Woods wasn’t so sure. How could she figure out what was going to be confusing to Joey and then explain things without embarrassing him?

“Mrs. Woods, could you do that?” said Dr. Bridgman.

Mrs. Woods was still considering the feasibility of such an arrangement. “Let me make sure I understand. If there’s an assignment or project that’s going to be confusing for you, you want me to let you know ahead of time. Is that what you mean, Joey?”

“Yeah. And if I don’t understand it you could explain it to me. Without everybody seeing us.”

“I’m trying to think of when we would do that, Joey,” said Mrs. Woods. “And I think I need a better idea of when things are going to be confusing for you. Do you have any ideas for how I could know that?” She looked to Dr. Bridgman again, hoping she’d made a proper Invitation. He smiled his approval.

“I could come in before school,” said Joey.

Mrs. Woods was again considering whether this was feasible. “You could come early,” said Mrs. Woods. “Can your mom bring you in early?”

“I don’t know,” said Joey, looking at Dr. Bridgman. “But she sometimes brings my brother early to work with Mr. Armstrong.”

“So let’s assume she can bring you in early,” said Dr. Bridgman. “I’ll check with her.”

Dr. Bridgman could see the look of concern on Mrs. Woods’ face. “I think Mrs. Woods still has some concerns. Yes?”

“Well, there is one more problem,” she said. She looked at Joey. “I’m a little concerned about what will happen if I miss one. What if there’s an
assignment and I don’t realize it’s confusing for you and so I don’t explain it to you before school? Or what if it’s a day you couldn’t come in early? What then?”

“Joey, is there some way you could let Mrs. Woods know you’re confused that wouldn’t embarrass you in front of the other kids?” asked Dr. Bridgman.

“I don’t know,” said Joey.

Mrs. Woods and Joey both looked to Dr. Bridgman for help.

Dr. Bridgman pursed his lips. “That’s a tough one. Joey, what do you think would be the best way for you to let Mrs. Woods know if you’re confused?”

“We could have a signal.”

“What kind of signal?” asked Dr. Bridgman.

“I could scratch my nose. I saw that on TV once.”

“That’s an interesting idea,” said Dr. Bridgman. “So if you wanted to let Mrs. Woods know you’re confused, you could scratch your nose?”

“Yeah.”

“Mrs. Woods, how would that work for you?” asked Dr. Bridgman.

“I think that would work fine,” said Mrs. Woods. “Actually, if I see Joey not doing his work, from now on I’m going to assume he’s confused. But the nose scratching would help, too. Now there’s one more thing I’m not too clear about.”

“What’s that?” asked Dr. Bridgman.

“What’s supposed to happen if I know Joey’s confused but he doesn’t want me to explain it right then, because that would embarrass him in front of his classmates?” asked Mrs. Woods.

“Ah, good question,” said Dr. Bridgman. “What do you think, Joey?”

“I don’t know,” said Joey.

“That’s kind of what happened the other day,” said Dr. Bridgman. “We’re trying to make sure we don’t find ourselves in that same situation again, you know, by having you come into school early, and by having you scratch your nose. But we do need a plan for what to do if it does happen again. Any ideas?”

Joey began shifting in his seat. Mrs. Woods could see that he was starting to tire of the conversation. “I have an idea,” she said. “Joey, let’s see if you like my idea. If you don’t like it we’ll come up with something else. How about we keep some assignments in your notebook that we’re
sure you can do. If you get confused about something we’re doing in class, you could take out one of the assignments you know how to do and do that instead until we have a chance to talk about the assignment that’s confusing. What do you think?”

“What if the other kids notice that I’m not doing the right assignment?” asked Joey.

“I’ll let them know that you’re doing a special assignment for me,” said Mrs. Woods. “Would that be OK?”

“I guess,” said Joey.

“Well, we want to be sure the solution works for you, Joey. What do you think?”

“We could try it,” said Joey.

“OK, then let’s wrap this up,” said Dr. Bridgman. “Joey, you did a great job in this meeting. Thanks for helping us come up with a plan.”

“OK,” said Joey.

“Let me just say what I think our plan is,” said Dr. Bridgman. “Joey, you’re going to try to come in early so Mrs. Woods can tell you about the assignments for the day and explain them to you if you’re confused about anything. And if you still get confused about an assignment during class, you’re going to give Mrs. Woods the signal so she knows you’re confused. And if it’s not a good time for Mrs. Woods to explain the assignment to you, you’ll do some other work and she’ll explain it to you later. Sound OK to both of you?”

Joey and Mrs. Woods nodded.

“Will I get a lower grade if I don’t do one of the assignments I’m confused about until later?” asked Joey.

“No,” said Mrs. Woods. “I know you try really hard to get all your work done. We’ll find another time for you to do it.”

Joey suddenly became conscious of the time. “Aren’t the other kids coming in soon?”

“Yes, in about five minutes,” said Mrs. Woods. “You’d prefer they not see us talking?”

“Yeah.”

“Why don’t you go back out to where the other kids are,” said Dr. Bridgman.

After Joey had left, Dr. Bridgman checked in with Mrs. Woods. “How do you feel that went?” asked Dr. Bridgman.

“I’m still digesting,” said Mrs. Woods. “It’s the most he’s ever talked about anything.”

“Plan B has a way of doing that,” said Dr. Bridgman. “Do you think the solutions we all came up with make sense?”

“We’ll see,” said Mrs. Woods, as she turned her thoughts to the impending arrival of all her students. “We’ll see.”

CHAPTER 5

Bumps in the Road

You’ve been given a lot to digest already, and there’s much more to cover about Plan B, but you’re ready for your first homework assignment (due date: your call, but preferably sooner rather than later). Complete the ALSUP for a specific challenging kid. Pick a specific unsolved problem as the focus of your first attempt at Plan B with that kid. Which unsolved problem should you pick? Perhaps one that is causing the kid’s challenging behavior most often or setting the stage for his worst moments. Perhaps one that is causing significant disruption to the learning of the other kids. Perhaps one on which you think you have the greatest chance of early success. You’ll get to the rest later. Arrange a good time for Proactive B. Give some thought to the words you’ll use for the Empathy step. Be prepared to be flexible as you make your way through the Empathy step. Remember, your goal is to gather information and understand the concern that is setting the stage for challenging behavior. Also think about how you’ll go about communicating your concern, and how the Invitation is a recap of the two concerns (the kid’s and yours) that have been identified. Next,
go for it.
Do Plan B.

Then try to figure out what went wrong.

First attempts at Plan B often don’t go very well. You’re new at it; the kid’s new at it, too. Creating a helping relationship and using Plan B effectively takes time, practice, and perseverance. So hang in there. It can take a while to get into what we’ll call a “Plan B rhythm.” If you ran into trouble, here are the common patterns that can interfere with successful implementation of Plan B.

YOU USED PLAN A INSTEAD OF PLAN B