Lost at School (34 page)

“Well, I’ll do my best. So, do you know who you want to do Plan B with?”

Mrs. Franco rolled her eyes. “Travis. From what I can gather, he’s absolutely brutal to a lot of the kids in my class.”

Mrs. Woods had Travis for math. “I’ve heard. And I’ve heard he’s been like that for a long time.”

“Proof that our school antibullying program is working really well,” said Mrs. Franco sarcastically. “Best I can figure, our antibullying program has simply sent him underground. Now he’s just better at hiding it.”

“So you want to talk to him about how he’s treating some of the other kids.”

“It’s probably the biggest problem I have going in my classroom right now. And the kid won’t give me the time of day. I mean, he does his work and he’s not a behavior problem—not while he knows I’m watching him, anyway, and I watch him like a hawk—so I’ve never really had to talk to him about anything.”

“Well, should we look at the ALSUP to see what we think might be contributing to him treating the other kids the way he does?”

This idea took Mrs. Franco by surprise. “Bullies have lagging thinking skills?”

“I guess so. Otherwise why would they be bullying?”

The two teachers reviewed the items on the ALSUP. They concluded that Travis wasn’t very good at taking another’s perspective, wasn’t very good at appreciating how his behavior was affecting others, and didn’t seem to have the best repertoire of basic social behaviors. They also wondered about possible cognitive distortions. They considered the situations in which Travis was having his greatest difficulties, and noted that recess, lunch, and on the school bus were times during which Travis’ interactions with his peers were especially problematic, all times when he wasn’t being closely supervised. Then they reviewed the three steps of Proactive Plan B and role-played how the conversation would go.

“This is so strange!” said Mrs. Franco after they’d finished practicing. “I mean, I knew I was a Plan A teacher, but I didn’t realize how Plan A I was!”

“I didn’t realize how Plan A I was, either. But your Plan A isn’t a mean-spirited Plan A. It’s—let me think of how to say this—it’s an
energetic
Plan A.”

“Oh, I’ve got energy all right. I always figured if I was demanding and enthusiastic and energetic, I’d get a lot out of my kids and eventually the enthusiasm and energy would rub off.”

“It probably did rub off on a lot of ’em. And your energy
is
an asset. Your kids love you. They’re scared of you, but they love you.”

“Yes, but that’s the point. Do I really want them working hard and behaving themselves because they’re scared of me? Or because they know I’m watching? How reliable is that? Especially since I’m not going to be their teacher forever? But this Plan B business, it’s really focused on something very different.”

“You ready to give it a whirl with Travis?” asked Mrs. Woods.

Mrs. Franco looked uncharacteristically uncertain. “I think so. You sure you don’t want to sit next to me while I’m doing this?”

Mrs. Woods smiled, then realized her friend was serious. “I guess I could sit next to you if you think it would help. But in hindsight, I’m kind of glad Dr. Bridgman wasn’t sitting next to me after the first Plan B with Joey. I think it helped my relationship with Joey that Dr. Bridgman wasn’t there. And it made me realize that I was the one who had to learn how to do Plan B.”

“I guess you’re right. Can’t have you holding my hand forever. What’s the worst that can happen?”

Two days later, Mrs. Franco asked Travis if he would stay in from recess so they could chat. Normally she’d have simply told him to stay in from recess. But this time, trying to stay far away from Plan A, she was a bit more tentative and simply mentioned that she’d like to chat with him and that recess might be a good time to do it.

Travis was underwhelmed by Mrs. Franco’s new approach. “What do you want to talk about?”

Mrs. Franco was taken slightly aback by Travis’ response. She had imagined that her kinder, gentler approach would be met with a kind, gentle response. “Oh, I just want to chat a little about how things are going with the other kids. You’re not in trouble or anything.”

Travis remained less than receptive. “I don’t care if I’m in trouble. Why does it have to be during recess?”

Mrs. Franco was trying hard to stay in Plan B mode. “Well, it doesn’t have to be during recess. Is there a time that would be better for you?”

“Never would be better for me.”

Travis’ response prompted Mrs. Franco to revert back to standard operating procedure. “Travis, you’re staying in from recess so we can talk. End of conversation.”

Travis slid down into his seat, crossed his arms, and sulked as he watched the rest of the class depart for recess.

When all the kids were gone, Mrs. Franco tried again. “Travis, I’ve been hearing some interesting things about how kids in our class are getting along with one another. How do you think that’s been going?”

“Fine,” he pouted. “Can I go out to recess now?”

“In a few minutes, Travis. The thing is, I’ve heard it’s not going fine, and I was wondering if you had any thoughts about what’s going on.”

“What did you hear?” Travis asked defensively.

“Well, to be perfectly honest, I’ve heard that there are times when you’re giving some of the other kids a very hard time. But I wanted to get your take on things.”

“They can say what they want. Can I go out to recess now?”

This isn’t going so well, thought Mrs. Franco. “Travis, I was really hoping we could talk about this.”

“This wasn’t my idea.”

“No, staying in from recess to talk was my idea. We could have talked at another time, but you didn’t seem interested in discussing it.”

“And I’m still not.”

Mrs. Franco was getting frustrated. “Tell you what, Travis. Since you don’t seem interested in talking about this, we’ll go with my plan. The next time I hear about you treating one of the other kids in an unkind manner, you’re staying in from recess for an entire week. No questions asked. Am I making myself clear?”

“Whatever,” grumbled Travis, his face turning red.

“Whatever is not the answer I’m looking for.”

“Fine.”

“Fine what?”

“Fine, I heard you. Can I go out for recess now?”

Mrs. Franco mustered one final try. “Travis, you’ve never acted this way with me before. What’s going on here?”

“You’re bugging me. Can I go out for recess now?”

“Go ahead. We’re not accomplishing anything this way. Just don’t forget what happens if I hear one word about you treating other kids poorly.” Travis left the room.

Well, that went swimmingly, thought Mrs. Franco. That’s why Plan B should be left to the experts.

Mrs. Franco wandered into Mrs. Woods’ classroom at the end of the day.

“Hey, there she is,” said Mrs. Woods. “My Plan B trainee. How’d it go?”

“It didn’t,” reported Mrs. Franco, slumping into a chair.

“You haven’t talked to him yet?” asked Mrs. Woods.

“Oh, I tried. But I was the only one doing most of the talking. What a disrespectful little …”

“Uh-oh. Doesn’t sound like it went very well.”

“I knew I should have had you sitting next to me. I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“I messed up a few times before I sort of had the hang of it. What happened?”

“I asked him to stay in from recess so we could chat. He didn’t like that idea, so I asked him if there was a time that would be better. He said never would be better. So I
told
him to stay in from recess. So then he’s
mad. Then I try talking to him about how he’s giving the other kids a hard time and he basically wouldn’t talk. In fact, he was rude. How come ‘rude’ and ‘disrespectful’ aren’t on the ALSUP?”

“Hmm. I guess Dr. Bridgman would say kids who are rude and disrespectful are lacking the skills to be polite and respectful. Or they’re already so mad that polite and respectful go out the window.”

“The thing is, he’s never been that way before. Of course, I’ve never tried to talk to him about anything before.”

Mrs. Woods was thinking about what went wrong. “Well, there might be something to that. He’s not
usually
rude and disrespectful, but he
becomes
rude and disrespectful when you try to talk with him about how he’s giving the other kids a hard time. What we don’t know is
why.
”

“You sure we shouldn’t be asking Bridgman about him?”

“Well, we could ask Bridgman for help. But I don’t know if we need his help.” Mrs. Woods paused. “I think you need to try again.”

“No way!” Mrs. Franco shook her head. “Fool me once …”

“Oh, come on,” urged Mrs. Woods. “That is not the Denise Franco I know talking.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing!”

“I didn’t, either.”

“But I don’t even know what I did wrong!”

“Well, maybe you didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe it’s a really touchy issue for him. Maybe he really doesn’t want to talk about it. Maybe he got the impression you think it’s his fault how things are going with the other kids. Or maybe you did get off on the wrong foot by telling him he was staying in from recess to talk.”

“I tried being nice about it. But I guess I did kind of force him to talk to me. So now what?”

“Well, if you want to, you should probably check out our hypotheses with Travis,” said Mrs. Woods. “You know, try to figure out why he wasn’t very interested in talking with you. We should probably practice the Empathy step a little more, too. I think you may have skipped it.”

Mr. Middleton, who had been walking down the hall, saw the two teachers talking and popped his head in the door. “You two sleeping here tonight?”

“No thanks,” said Mrs. Franco, “I’ve had enough for one day.”

Mr. Middleton plopped into a chair, looking tired. “I think I know how you feel.”

“Tough day?” asked Mrs. Woods.

“Two all-out fistfights in the eighth grade today,” said Mr. Middleton. “Not one …
two.
Five suspensions.”

Mrs. Woods grimaced. “That’s a tough group. We had them two years ago.”

“Well, the little darlings aren’t as adorable now as they were then,” said Mr. Middleton.

“Don’t recall them being adorable back then, either,” said Mrs. Franco.

“So give me some good news,” said Mr. Middleton. “How’s my friend Joey doing? I haven’t heard a thing about him since our meeting.”

“Joey’s doing great,” said Mrs. Woods, gently tapping her knuckles on her wooden desk. “I’m really enjoying working with him.”

“Music to my ears,” said Mr. Middleton. “I really admire how you’ve taken the ball and run with it. I just wish more people in this school would do the same. Everyone thinks I’m Mr. Fix-it.”

“A lot of people in this school still think discipline is your concern, not theirs,” said Mrs. Franco. “So it’s kind of convenient that you’re the assistant principal.”

“Convenient, maybe,” said Mr. Middleton. “Efficient, not at all. I’m never there to see what happened in the first place. People just expect me to back them up when they’re doing things that aren’t working. By the time problems get to me—and it’s the same problems and the same kids every week—it’s already
after
the fact. There’s nothing incredible I can do after the fact. If I’ve learned anything from Dr. Bridgman, it’s that the best time to do something about a problem is
before
it comes up again, and the best person to solve the problem with the kid before it comes up again is the person the kid’s having the problem with in the first place.” He looked at Mrs. Woods. “Like what you’re doing with Joey.”

“It’s not just Joey,” said Mrs. Franco. “She’s working on a bunch of others, too.”

Mr. Middleton was impressed. “Wow. Did you ever know you were such a trailblazer?”

“I’m not a trailblazer.” Mrs. Woods looked embarrassed.

“Don’t praise her,” warned Mrs. Franco. “She can’t handle it. She’s even got me trying it, though I’m apparently a very slow learner.”

Mr. Middleton lowered his voice. “I must admit, I’ve been experimenting with Plan B in my office. With the door closed, of course.”

The two teachers smiled. “I think Mrs. Woods should tell everyone about what she’s doing with Plan B in one of our faculty meetings,” said Mrs. Franco.

Mrs. Woods shot a dark look at her friend. “No way.”

“That’s a great idea,” said Mr. Middleton. “I have some teachers in the eighth grade who need to hear about this stuff.”

“I think Dr. Bridgman is the person to be talking about Plan B in a faculty meeting,” said Mrs. Woods.

“Well, maybe on the technicalities,” said Mr. Middleton. “But you’re the one with classroom credibility. I’m serious. I want more people to hear about this. I’m tired of putting out brushfires.”

Mrs. Woods was now considering the possibilities. “You know, we’re not having the same fistfights they’re having in the eighth grade. But our kids in the sixth grade don’t treat one another very well.”

Mrs. Franco looked at Mr. Middleton. “Yeah, that was the topic of my first foray into Plan B territory. It was ugly.”

“That’s why I’ve been trying it with the door closed,” said Mr. Middleton. “But I’m getting better.”

“She’ll get better, too,” said Mrs. Woods. “But I’m not sure doing Plan B with individual students is the only way to go. I was talking to Dr. Bridgman the other day about whether I can do Plan B with my entire class. He gave me a few tips … and a book to read. And I’m starting with how the kids treat one another. What do you think?”

Mrs. Franco was impressed. “I think you are a trailblazer. As for me, I’ll throw a party if I can just figure out how to get Travis to talk to me.”

“That’s probably wise,” said Mrs. Woods. “But I think I’m ready to give it a shot with the whole gang.”

Mr. Middleton looked energized by the conversation. “Let me know how it goes. Then you can tell the rest of us all about it.”

A few days later, Mrs. Woods held her regularly scheduled Friday community meeting with her class. On this particular Friday, she announced her agenda to the class at the beginning of the meeting. “Kids, I wanted to see if we could talk about something a little different
today. It’s something we’ve never talked about before.” She was a little nervous as she moved forward into her first full-class attempt at Empathy. “I was thinking about how we’re all treating one another in our class.”