Lost Desires (4 page)

It had been a few days since our last meeting with John, but I could see differences already. I couldn’t believe that after years of living in the rut we’d fallen into, it had taken only a few simple meetings with this man to change things for the better. Ian had started to come home every single night and gave me not just a peck on the cheek or lips but a full-out passionate kiss. Almost too passionate, since sometimes it was in front of the kids, but compared to the man who didn’t even touch me when he got home, I would take it.

Saturday morning, I rolled over in bed to find that I was alone. Ian was never out of bed before me on the weekends. The kids always had me up at the crack of dawn
, which was painfully early during the summer, so I was surprised. Looking over at the curtains, there was sun blasting behind them. That couldn’t be right. Rolling over, I looked at my alarm clock to find that it was nine in the morning. I quickly jumped out of bed and grabbed my robe, tying it over my cotton pajamas as I walked out of our room. Following noises, I wound up in the kitchen. I peeked around the corner expecting to find the children getting into everything they could reach; however, I was surprised to find Ian had both of them sitting on the kitchen island, helping him add ingredients to a bowl.

“Oh no, D
addy. She’s up,” my daughter squealed in surprise when she noticed me, covering her face with her tiny hands like that would hide her. Ian slowly turned around with a wide smile on his face.

“Well, good morning
, beautiful. You weren’t supposed to get up yet.” He walked over to plant a kiss on my cheek before returning to the kids. He lowered his voice to a loud whisper. “I guess we didn’t get going fast enough. Next time, we will surprise her.”

“Okay!” My son yelled before jumping off the counter and running from the room, his sister not far behind.

“What’s all this?” I asked, walking up behind him to link my hands around his waist.

“We
were
making you breakfast in bed, but you got up too early.” Ian set the bowl down and turned in my arms so he was facing me. “You ruined our surprise.”

“I slept in more today than I have in quite a while. That
alone is a big enough treat for me. Now I can cook and help keep the beasts wrangled.” I laughed as the children came racing through the kitchen, giggling and running out the opposite door.

“Nope. No way. You sit. Relax. I’m making you breakfast
, and you aren’t allowed to lift one finger.” Ian leaned in to give me a soft, slow kiss before tugging my hands from around him and playfully patting my ass to tell me to get on my way.

I walked to the doorway
but turned to watch him as he made his way around the kitchen, slowly but surely finding what he needed. He hadn’t cooked me breakfast in…well, I don’t know that in all our years together he ever had. A smile slipped onto my face without my even thinking about it. It was a great surprise from the man I loved. Apparently, while our love life got better, the rest of our life was getting better as well. What an unexpected, pleasant side effect.

I recruited the kids to help me fold a load of laundry while Ian cooked so they’d stay out of his way. As we were putting it up, he called to let us know that breakfast was ready. Upon returning to the kitchen, I found pancakes, fresh cut strawberries
, and a side of bacon on a plate for each of us. My eyebrows flew upwards when I noticed there was even glasses, or cups for the little ones, of orange juice as well. “Wow. Very well done, Daddy.”

“No, babe.” Ian handed the kids their plates so they’d run off to the table. As soon as they were out of the room, he fiercely grabbed my hips and pulled me hard against his b
ody. Running his tongue along the outer edge of my ear, he whispered, “I’m
Ian
or
honey
. If you want me to fuck you good and hard later tonight, don’t call me daddy.”

“Oh
, okay.” Instantly, my body reacted to the hunger radiating off him and the fact that I could feel him growing hard against my leg. His hands slid over my hips to grab onto my ass, pulling me harder against him as he dipped his head to kiss the tender skin on the side of my neck.

“Mommy? Daddy? What are you doing?” Our daughter asked from the doorway, bringing the world crashing back down around us. Ian stepped back from me, giving me a devilish grin before bending down to hand our daughter the two cups of juice.

“Mommy and I were just talking and loving each other the way mommies and daddies do. Take these to the table. We will be right in.” Ian ruffled her hair, and she skipped out of the room. He stood and looked at me. “Let’s go, sexy, before we start something we don’t have time to finish right now.”

I
nodded unsure of how to respond. Being speechless was a rare thing for me. It felt like I’d stepped into an alternate reality. Ian didn’t touch me like that. He didn’t cook breakfast. Or handle the kids when they ran into a room. It was always me handling those things or seeking his attention.

It was then that I remembered the advice John had given me each time we
had met. I didn’t know what he’d been sharing with Ian through text messages or phone calls or when I wasn’t right there. The change had to have something to do with John. It was the only explanation for all the changes happening. That or Ian was cheating…which I wouldn’t accept. Not when we were working to fix what was wrong in our marriage.

Shortly after breakfast, Ian left to play a round of golf with his buddies. Since it was summer, they normally went early, but Ian had asked them to delay it so he could make me breakfast.

Hours later, he came in the door and immediately pulled me out of my chair to hold me tight and plant a firm kiss on my lips. When he pulled back, he smiled. “I’ve been waiting to do that since I left. I missed you, but I did have a good round of golf.”

“Well, that’s great. I missed you too. The kids are sleeping right now
, so I’m just trying to keep it quiet for a little bit longer.” I smiled and pulled back from him. “Why don’t you go take a shower and watch some TV or something?”

“Are you going to join me?” Ian wiggled his eyebrows at me.

“Get out of here. No!” I laughed, even though I was trying to appear serious. He grabbed my hand when I moved to sit back down, yanking me to his body again.

“I’m serious. Let’s go have a quickie in the sho
wer before the kids get up.” Ian started nibbling on my neck, making it hard to refuse him. “Hurry, let’s go.”

Ian grabbed my hand and tugged me down the hallway to our room
and then to the bathroom. He shut the door before quickly taking off all of his clothes and helping me out of mine. Once the water was on so it could heat up, he turned to me, pulling me close again to press his lips against mine.

“Come
, my sexy wife. Let’s make love,” Ian murmured between kisses, pulling me into the shower with him. Once we were both under the water, Ian slipped his hand into my hair and tugged me to him so he could softly kiss me, while slipping a knee between my thighs. His large erection pressed against my stomach as he separated from me to duck his head, sucking one of my nipples into his mouth. Moaning, I threaded my fingers into his hair, holding him to my breast. After a moment, he kissed his way from one breast to the other, lavishing my other nipple with the same attention and teasing.

One of
his hands slipped down my water-slicked skin until it came in contact with my pussy. He used his fingers to separate my lips slightly then circled my clit with his middle finger while still teasing my nipple with his mouth.

“Oh
, Ian! That feels so good,” I moaned, leaning my head back as his other arm wrapped around my waist, holding me.

“Oh
yeah, baby. You feel so good,” Ian murmured, barely pulling his mouth from my breast. When he started to drop to his knees, I snapped my head forward and locked eyes with him.

“What are you doing?” I asked
, surprised. Ian had never gone down on me before or since the one time in the hotel room with John there.

“I’m going to taste my wife’s delicious
, pretty pussy-if that’s okay with you.” A small smile came over his face as he continued to watch me, waiting for an answer.

“Um, yeah. Yeah, okay.” I fumbled with words
, trying to answer him. He leaned forward and gently nudged the front of my pussy with his nose before wiggling it back and forth.

“I love the way your pussy smells.” I barely heard h
is words before I felt the soft warmth of his tongue sliding between my pussy lips. I instantly separated my legs more, giving him more room. “Hm. Yeah, you liked that. Didn’t you, baby?”

I tried to smile, but Ian moved back in and had his face pressed between my thighs again. Expecting his tongue, I jumped when I felt his fingers slide through my gathering juices. He easily found what he was looking for and plunged two fingers deep into my pussy while sucking on my clit
making it hard for me to stay standing. My fingers gripped the back of Ian’s head while he continued to pleasure me with his mouth and hand. It didn’t take long before I was flying off the cliff of ecstasy into paradise. Ian held my hips with his hands, helping me stay upright while softly licking away my release.

“Mmm. Heaven right there,
” Ian said, standing and leaning in, planting his lips on mine, sharing my taste with me. His tongue slid into my mouth to tangle with mine as he lifted one of my legs in his hand. Pulling back slightly from me, he looked down to help guide himself into me. My head instantly fell against the tile as my eyes rolled back in my head at the quick, deep thrust that had Ian fully seated in me.

“Oh, Ian!” I moaned as he picked up a steady pace
, sliding in and out of me while nibbling on my neck. His free hand squeezed my ass as he gathered speed. Both of us moaned as the pleasure was building within our bodies. “That feels so good.” I held on tightly to Ian’s shoulders. This was as close as we would get to Ian picking me up, but it still felt insanely good. I reached up and cupped Ian’s face with both my hands, making him lock eyes with me as a few more thrusts had me tightening around him. I fought the desire to close my eyes and kept them locked with his throughout my orgasm. Ian did the same when he followed me shortly after. Watching the complete and utter release and pleasure that washed over his face while he emptied inside my body was almost as sexy as the act itself.

We both stood in the shower
, letting the water rain down around us, washing away the evidence of our lovemaking as we continued to hold on to each other. Ian was the first to break the silence. A smug smile on his face, he said, “You know, I thought this whole therapist thing was going to be utterly ridiculous. Turns out, I love it. I look forward to each meeting and each piece of advice he shares. Not to mention the amazing sex we always seem to have during the sessions...and quite possibly the fact that we have more than doubled our sexy time since we started seeing John.”

“Yes, I would agree. Things have gotten much better
, and it’s only been a short amount of time. I think I need to take Tara out to tell her thank you for giving me the recommendation.” I smiled but groaned when I felt the loss of him as he pulled from my body.

“Mom?” My son’s voice broke through the post
-sex haze I’d been enjoying. Inwardly, I screamed at the interruption. Outwardly, I called out to see what he wanted. He replied, “Just wanted to see where you were.”

“Daddy and I were just taking a quick shower. Go sit on the couch and read a book. I’ll be right there.” I slapped Ian’s chest playfully when he shook his head at my excuse.

“Okay.” I could hear the sound of his small feet on the tile as he made his way back out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

“Quick shower
. Hm? More like a quickie.” Ian smiled and stepped toward me till my back was pressed against the wall.

“Ian! S
hh!” I tried to scold but laughed instead. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I tilted my head so I could press my lips against his. “I would never say something like that to the kids. Could you imagine if they repeated it to your mother?”

“Okay, okay.
That would be embarrassing.” Ian kissed me again, briefly sliding his tongue against mine. “We will finish this tonight.”

I got out of the shower and dried off. Putting on the clothes that I had been wearing before, I watch
ed Ian with a small smile on my face. This was the best our marriage had been in years. I had everything I could possibly want, a man who loved me, a man who found me attractive even though I had changed from the woman he’d married years ago. Two beautiful, healthy children that drove me crazy. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We had already arranged one more meeting with John
, and I was assuming it’d be our last, as all of my issues had already been fixed and addressed. That is, unless Ian had something he’d wanted John to help with that I didn’t know about.

The entire week passed much the same as the weekend had gon
e. Ian was incredibly attentive, helping with the children, household chores, and at night, when we laid down, he always made love to me. I couldn’t help but think there was something missing because he would say he didn’t think it was the last session we needed with John. Even though things had gotten a lot better for me, there was still things to work on. I guess I had asked for it since I had been the one to seek help for sexual problems I was having. It was only fair that we also addressed any issues Ian had while we were at it.

When Thursday rolle
d around, we were once again meeting John in a hotel room. This time however, Ian was to go up first and I was to come up twenty minutes later. I found it odd since normally I had private chats with John before Ian was involved but went with it. I sat in the lobby drinking the coffee I had picked up from the café. It felt like forever before my phone finally buzzed letting me know that twenty minutes had passed. I was incredibly anxious and jittery- could be thanks to the coffee or possibly, and more likely, because I didn’t know what to expect -as I made my way to the elevator and to the same room we’d been in the last time we’d met with John.

Knocking once, softly, I held my breath in anticipation. John opened the door wearing a pair of dress pants and a button
-down dress shirt that was rolled up to his elbows. He bowed his head and said, “Please, come in.”

“Thank you.” I murmured
and looked around, trying to figure out what was going to happen before it played out. John let the door click closed behind me.

“Tonight, Brit, we are going to try something new. Something
most likely a bit out of your comfort zone,” John said as he stepped in front of me, placing his large, warm hands on my shoulders. I couldn’t help but let my eyes widen fractionally at that statement. It wasn’t what I had planned on. What on earth did Ian want from me? Could I go through with it? John squeezed my shoulder gently then relaxed his grip. “It’s not nearly anything as bad as what you are thinking. I promise.”

“I doubt
it.” I bit down on my lip as I dropped my gaze to the center of John’s chest. I didn’t want to say what I was thinking, let alone do it to my husband. One of John’s hands slipped down my arm to grip my hand before he pulled me to the couch in the seating area.

“Please
, sit. I’d like to talk to you about this before we go any further based on your reaction,” John said as he sat down on the couch, tugging my hand making me sit. I looked around, but still I didn’t see my husband. I saw the empty bed that looked slightly tousled but nothing else.

“Where is Ian?” I couldn’t help but ask the question that was bothering me most at the moment.

“He is in another room. He figured there would be issues with this, which is what I am here for,” John answered.

“
What does he want me to do that is so bad? Or different or whatever?” I couldn’t stop my mind from going on a crazy tangent thinking about all the different sexual acts out there that we had never tried.

“He wants you to attempt to play with his perineum and possibly a little anal play.” John’s voice was calm
, like he’d said nothing out of the ordinary. This was
not
ordinary to me. Men didn’t do
that
in my life. Men didn’t want people to play anywhere near their backdoors, not in my world. Hell, we barely played near
MY
backdoor, and I was on the receiving end. I didn’t know how comfortable I was with even the idea of it, let alone the actual process of doing it. Before I could gather myself enough to make a verbal response to John, he said, “I just want to point out Ian has been more than willing to try out anything sexual that you wanted. I must tell you, he wasn’t always as comfortable with everything as he ended up coming off as, but for you, he was willing to put on a brave front and give it his all. Look at how well it all worked out. However, you can, at any time, say you aren’t willing and we can stop.”

I looked at the ceiling and ground my teet
h together for a moment before nodding my head slightly. “He was willing to try things he was uncomfortable with for me. I will try this. I can’t say I’ll be okay with it, but I will try it…as long as you help me through it.”

“Absolutely. I’ll be here every step of the way.” John gave me a comforting
smile as he squeezed my hands. He offered a few quick tips and pointers about the perineum before standing and helping me onto my shaking legs. “Let’s go find Ian.”

I nodded slightly an
d followed behind John as he led me not out the door to the hallway as I’d expected, but to a door connected to the room beside the one we were in. He knocked once before pulling open the door. Once we were inside the room, I quickly glanced around. It looked just like most other hotel rooms, but I found extreme comfort finding my husband lying on the bed with his arms bent behind his head. A beautiful smile spread across his face when he saw me enter, which in turn made me grin. He was wearing only a pair of boxers and even though I had seen him in this exact same position many times at home, there was something about being in a hotel room that made is so much sexier. Biting my lip, I let my gaze roam over him as his did the same to me.

“Normally
, I like to blindfold one of you when we are exploring a new sensation or experience, but I think for both of you it is more important to see each other and the pleasure you are giving or receiving,” John said, breaking through me sexing up my husband from across the room. “Go get on the bed with him. Start kissing. Do what you two normally do to get each other hot.”

Sounds
easy enough. I walked over to the side of the bed Ian was on and bent at the waist to give him the kiss I’d wanted to since seeing him spread out, waiting for me. I teased his lips with my tongue until he finally separated them, granting me access. I slipped my tongue into his mouth as I glided a leg over his hips and ground my hips down on the erection pressing against me through his boxers. Running my hands up his chest, I grasped onto the back of his neck as I carefully -and not quite as gracefully as I’d hoped for- rolled us over so I was on the bottom with him between my thighs looking down at me.

“Ian, get me naked
,” I moaned as he thrust his hips, rubbing his erection against me. The smile that perked up one side of his mouth told me all the naughty things flowing through his mind right then. Leaning back, he quickly unbuttoned the front of the dress, leaving drugging kisses where each button had been, making his way down my body until he came to the top of the lacy panties I’d worn specifically for him.

“Mmm. These are just for me, aren’t they?” Ian
murmured, his hot breath sliding over my damp, eager entrance. “You look absolutely beautiful in them. Too bad they won’t be staying on.” Hooking a finger in either side of my panties, he yanked the silky material down my legs before throwing them over his shoulder. A low growl left his lips as he gazed down at my nude body. Taking a moment, he disguarded his boxers before crawling back between my thighs. Completely skipping the ache between my thighs, he lowered his face to my stomach leaving wet, warm kisses along my skin, moving upward. When he came to the center of my breasts, he pressed one hand under my back and attempted to unhook my bra. I giggled softly, sitting up and reaching back to undo it for him. It was one thing he’d never mastered even after all the time we’d been together. As I lay back down, he nipped at one of my already erect nipples while his hand cupped and massaged my other breast. One hand slipped between my thighs to lightly tease between my thighs, his erection pressed against me leg.

My back arched as
a moan slipped from my lips at the blissful torture his mouth was causing. Dragging his lips from one to the other, he gave the opposite nipple the same pleasure. Just when I was about to beg for more, he pulled back and returned his mouth to mine. I felt him shift his weight and before I’d fully prepared for it, he plunged into me, filling me with one hard, swift thrust. I pulled back from his mouth to let out one loud, long moan. “Oh fuck, Ian.” I managed to whisper as my hands threaded into his hair.

“Yeah, you like it hard and fast, don’t you?” Ian groaned into my ear as he pounded into me. I wrapped my legs around his hips to encourage him when I heard a soft cough, which brought me out of my haze. My eyes snapped open to see John standing a few feet from the side of the bed. He smiled when I met his eyes. He slipped a small already lubed up toy into my hand and took a few more steps back
from the bed as if to give us our privacy.

“Roll over.” I moaned to Ian, who didn’t seem to notice the quick exchange between John and I. With a grunt and one more hard thrust, Ian pulled out and rolled over. I quickly slipped down his body and took him in my mouth. I tasted the strong
, tangy taste of myself on his penis, but I didn’t mind. As I licked around the head of his cock, I carefully moved the toy I’d kept hidden between his thighs. Turning it on, I ran the vibrating tip along the sensitive skin between his balls and anus. The instant the vibrating toy touched him, Ian’s back bowed and he moaned loudly. I felt his cock grow impossibly harder in my mouth, which only encouraged me to continue. Dipping downward, I gently pressed the toy into the tight, puckered hole there. My mouth sucked him deep while I pushed past the initial barrier. I glanced up to watch his face, making sure it wasn’t hurting him, but his hands fisted tightly in my hair. Sliding the toy in just a bit deeper before pulling it back then plunging it in deeper, I mimicked the movements with my mouth on Ian’s cock.

“Oh
, shit!” Ian groaned loudly, bucking his hips over and over again without touching the bed. His come hit the back of my throat hard, spurt after spurt. Hands fisted in my hair, his entire body quivered underneath my mouth as he continued to come. Eventually he released my head and fell completely one hundred percent limp to the bed until I pulled the toy gently from him. He moaned softly and shivered before returning to his previous motionless state.

“I’ll take that,
” John spoke softly from the foot of the bed. I handed him the toy, which he placed into a Ziploc bag then disappeared from my sight. After a moment of watching my husband, who appeared to be sleeping, I climbed off the bed and awkwardly approached John.

“Um, so…” I started not sure what to say since I
wasn’t entirely sure what had happened. It was also the first time I had been completely naked in front of John without Ian awake and aware. Not that I was afraid of him, but it was just a bit awkward to talk to someone other than my husband while completely naked. It was different when John basically watched from afar or only interjected comments occasionally.

“That is what is called the man’s G-spot. And you did fabulous. I knew you would once you got over the initial shock of it.” John patted my shoulder with a hand but kept a good distance between us. “Why don’t you go cuddle up with him for a bit and finish what you started in a few hours? I’ll head out and let you two have some quiet time.”

“Thank you so much. Really. I don’t think I can say it enough.” I smiled shyly at him.

“It’s my job to
help save marriages like yours. You were only missing one little thing. All I had to do was help remind you two of the love you have for each other both in bed and out.” John smiled before heading out the door. I climbed back into bed and did exactly as he said. After sleeping for a few hours, I woke up and with a smile on my face, I slide under the sheets to wake Ian up as well. We still had time for a good round of bed-shaking sex.