Lost to the Night (The Brotherhood Series, Book 1) (13 page)

“I think you know the answer.”

He turned away from her, thrust his hands through his hair and sighed loudly at the glass ceiling before swinging back round to face her. “So you have decided to refuse Mr. Sutherby?”

Evelyn narrowed her gaze. “I cannot believe you need to ask after what has just occurred.”

“But what of your financial stability?”

She shrugged. “What of it? As you rightly said, it should not be a factor in my decision. Love is the only consideration, and I do not love Mr. Sutherby.”

But I am falling in love with you, she added silently.

The thought caused her throat to constrict as a rush of conflicting emotions took hold. Excitement sprouted like blossom on a tree: something bright and new and pretty. Desire unfurled in her belly. A feeling of rapturous joy filled her heart. But they all existed beneath a cloud of uncertainty and fear.

Tears threatened to fall as though she was already grieving for the loss and she knew she must leave. If he kissed her again, she would not be able to suppress the need to devour him, to lie naked beneath him, to let him take whatever he wanted from her.

“I should get back before I’m missed.” She turned away and took a deep breath. “I will be at Lady Westbury’s ball tomorrow evening if you wish to talk.”

If he came to the ball, then maybe there was a chance he felt something, too. If he returned to Stony Cross, she knew she would never see him again.

She strode away from him, the first few steps the hardest to take.

“Eve,” he called out to her, his tone softer than she’d ever heard it before. “I can’t be the man you want me to be.”

Her stomach twisted into painful knots. “We’ll see,” she said glancing over her shoulder and forcing a smile.

All she could do now was hope and pray he was wrong.

Chapter 13

“You must excuse my brother,” Charlotte Sutherby said patting Evelyn’s arm. “I begged him not to cancel your stroll in the park, but when I swooned at the foot of the stairs, he refused to leave me alone.”

“I understand,” Evelyn said, trying to glance about Lady Westbury’s ballroom without her companions noticing. In truth, she’d been relieved to read Mr. Sutherby’s note. It had given her a little more time to prepare for the awkward conversation, should he decide to propose. “It gave me an opportunity to spend the afternoon with my aunt.”

Aunt Beatrice had failed to make an appearance at breakfast. Mr. Hartford, having escorted them home from Lord Melbury’s ball, had stayed until the early hours, drinking and playing cards.

“Perhaps I can make amends this evening, Miss Bromwell. The night is warm and clear. A stroll around the gardens would be a welcome diversion.”

Evelyn hesitated. If she missed Alexander’s arrival, she might never find him in the crush. But then she had spent the last two hours watching the door, her heart skipping a beat whenever a new face appeared. She had to accept the possibility that he’d returned to his dilapidated hideaway in the New Forest — his heart, as well as the rusty gates, barred to all intruders.

“Charlotte will stroll with us, just a few steps ahead,” Mr. Sutherby added with a dandified wave. “And I do need to stretch my legs after being cooped up indoors all day.”

“You are such a considerate brother, Nicholas,” Charlotte beamed. She turned to Evelyn. “I know of no other gentleman so devoted to his family.”

Nor a sister so devoted, Evelyn thought. Charlotte Sutherby’s beauty radiated from her like a beacon. Yet she’d shown no interest in any other gentleman. Securing her brother’s happiness appeared to be Charlotte’s only motivation.

“I shall just go and inform my aunt,” Evelyn said, deciding she would accompany them. It was only right that she should explain her feelings to Mr. Sutherby. He deserved the truth, and she knew of other young ladies who would be only too pleased to be seen on the arm of such a dashing gentleman. “Wait for me near the terrace.”

With one last glance at the empty doorway, Evelyn traipsed about the ballroom in search of her aunt. She spotted her dancing with Mr. Hartwood, exchanged a reassuring smile and made her way to the terrace.

Failing to notice Evelyn’s approach, Charlotte Sutherby’s countenance had changed dramatically. The innocent smile had been abandoned, only to be replaced with the wild look of the Devil. With clenched teeth and a furrowed brow, she grabbed the sleeve of her brother’s coat and grumbled in his ear. Like a naughty child, Mr. Sutherby cast his gaze to the floor and nodded. When her gaze locked with Evelyn’s, her hand grew limp and fell to her side, the irate expression turning soft and serene.

“Ah, Miss Bromwell,” she said, her tone light and airy. “I … I was just complaining to Nicholas, how lax of him not to escort you to your aunt.”

Mr. Sutherby made no comment and forced a smile as he offered his arm. Evelyn placed a hesitant hand in the crook, her fingers barely touching the material.

They followed Charlotte down the steps and out across the illuminated lawn. Evelyn could feel Mr. Sutherby’s assessing gaze, and she shivered as though frozen fingers trailed along the neckline of her gown.

“Is there something you wish to discuss?” Evelyn asked, desperate to bring an end to the matter. Of course, she would need to explain her decision to her aunt, who had already expressed her approval of the match.

“You know me so well, Miss Bromwell, I believe you can read my thoughts. It’s such a comfort when one finds the person who is their match, their intellectual equal. A person who can make life’s journey all the more pleasurable.”

“I do not believe intelligence should be the deciding factor when it comes to matrimony, Mr. Sutherby. We must follow our heart, not our mind. It is the only way to be true to ourselves.” She pictured Alexander Cole’s handsome face, knowing that her soul sang only to his tune.

Mr. Sutherby gave a contemptuous snort. “The heart is a fickle thing, Miss Bromwell. It leaves us prone to indulge in fanciful notions, to dream of a grand passion and a blissful union.”

Evelyn had felt such a passion and would gladly indulge her heart if only given the chance. “I want all of those things. I am sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Sutherby, but I could not settle for anything less. If I must dream until I am in my dotage, then so be it.”

She felt the gentleman stiffen. There should be no need for him to offer for her now, not when she’d made her position perfectly clear.

As they approached a tall topiary hedge, Charlotte stopped to wait for them. “I hear Lady Westbury has spent a small fortune on an outdoor aviary. Indeed, I believe I can hear them chirping. Perhaps it is through here.”

With some reluctance, Evelyn allowed Mr. Sutherby to escort her through the narrow walkway believing the sooner they pandered to Charlotte’s whims the quicker they could return to the ballroom.

“I’m convinced it is down here,” Charlotte said, running along the gravel path before disappearing around the corner.

When they reached the bottom of the path, Charlotte was nowhere in sight.

“Where on earth has she got to?” Evelyn said. It was not wise for a lady to be lost in the dark on her own.

“Don’t worry about Charlotte,” Mr. Sutherby said. “She can’t be far away. She’ll find her way back to us.”

An uncomfortable sense of foreboding settled in Evelyn’s chest. “Perhaps we should head back the way we came,” she said moving to walk in front.

But Mr. Sutherby grabbed her by her wrist and swung her back around to face him. “Let’s try this way,” he said pulling her further along the path.

Evelyn tried to yank her arm free, but the gentleman was much stronger than she expected. “Mr. Sutherby. Will you please let go of my arm.”

“Don’t play the coy little miss. You have been teasing me from the moment we entered the garden, with all your dreams of a passionate union.” He stopped and pulled her to his chest. “Why wait until your dotage? I am more than happy to indulge you now.”

Alexander sauntered into the ballroom, aware of the whispers and odd glances as those who were absent from Lord Melbury’s soiree were informed of the latest gossip.

He had decided not to attend. The workings of his rational mind knew there was no hope of a union with Evelyn Bromwell. No lady would choose to live with a monster. A lady wanted marriage, children, and picnics in the park under the midday sun. She did not want to roam about in the darkness like an empty soul lost to the night. The curse thrust upon him would plague him for all eternity. And he would never be free to indulge in his passion for Evelyn Bromwell.

Yet still he’d come.

He could not deny the burning in his chest when she entered his thoughts. He could not stop his body responding from the mere sound of her voice. The raging passion that writhed inside him could not be tempered. For his own sanity, he had no choice but to follow his heart.

What did he have to lose?

“Hale. Over here.”

Alexander glanced around the outskirts of the packed ballroom. Elliot Markham was propped up against the wall, his arms folded across his chest as he raised his chin to beckon Alexander over.

“On your own tonight?” Alexander asked. “Or is Devlin busy taking advantage of a married lady’s generosity?”

“No. The idiot is dancing.” With his mouth forming a scowl, Elliot nodded to the dance floor. “Look at him, prancing about like the fool of the fair. Next, he’ll be waving bright ribbons and handing out trinkets.”

The corners of Alexander’s mouth twitched in amusement. “Why should that be a problem?”

“He is dancing with Cassandra Reed,” Elliot sighed, “Lady Westbury’s virgin niece. As soon as he saw her, his eyes swelled to the size of billiard balls. I’m surprised they’re not mopping up the floor from his excessive salivating.”

“I have some sympathy. Drooling is something I’m learning to live with.”

Elliot straightened. “Ah, you refer to the delightful Miss Bromwell. Am I the only brother who feels nauseous at the thought of bedding a virgin?”

“Judging by the lecherous smile on Devlin’s face, I’d say yes.”

Elliot stepped closer and whispered, “I swear, if he drinks from her I’ll rip his throat right out.”

Alexander jerked his head, surprised at Elliot’s volatile reaction. Although it felt good to talk so openly about something he’d considered so despicable. It almost made him feel human.

“You believe he would?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been left to clean up his mess.”

Alexander inhaled sharply. “Devlin’s killed someone?”

“No,” Elliot replied shaking his head. “Of course not. But let’s just say he likes the taste of virgin blood. He said it tastes clean, untainted, like drinking water from a mountain stream as opposed to the sludge found in the Thames. I think it’s all in his head. He’s convinced himself it’s the blood, but I believe he still dreams of his youth, of frolicking with debutantes in the hope of finding true love.”

Alexander’s thoughts flashed to Miss Bromwell, and he scoured the sea of heads in the hope of spotting her. Strangely, he had no desire to drink from her. What he felt for her went beyond the need for personal gratification.

“Your Miss Bromwell is taking a turn about the garden with her companions,” Elliot said with a smirk. “I assume that’s who you’re looking for.”

Alexander glanced at the terrace doors. “Is it so obvious?”

Elliot patted him on the back. “You forget, I can feel the passion emanating from you. You feel deeply for her, that much is obvious.”

“Regardless of my feelings, the situation is hopeless,” Alexander replied with a frustrated sigh.

“Which is why I chose an uncomplicated life, a life without any emotional attachment. It is unrealistic to hope that any woman would accept us for what we are.”

While he acknowledged the logic in Elliot’s words, his heart fought desperately against the possibility that Evelyn would turn away from him if she knew. “I used to believe that. To an extent, I still do. But I’ve come here tonight in the hope I’m wrong.”

“Then I wish you luck, my friend, as you’re going to need a barrow full of it.” Elliot nodded beyond Alexander’s shoulder. “Here comes your lady now.”

Alexander turned to see Charlotte Sutherby hurry through the terrace doors into the ballroom. He held his breath while he waited for a glimpse of Evelyn’s wide eyes and pretty pout, his heart beating erratically as excitement thrummed through his veins.

But Miss Sutherby was alone.

“You’re sure Miss Bromwell went out walking with that lady?” Alexander said tapping Elliot on the arm to focus his attention.

Elliot narrowed his gaze. “Yes. She went out with her and a fair-haired gentleman. They’ve probably just fallen behind.”

Alexander stood in frozen silence, each passing second feeling more like an hour. “I’m going out to find her.”

“Ah, you fear she’s interested in the other gentleman,” Elliot said with a chuckle.

“It is not a laughing matter. I do not trust Mr. Sutherby. There’s something shifty about him. He intends to make Miss Bromwell an offer of marriage. What if he refused to take no for an answer?”