Lots of Love (50 page)

‘So I’m not your soulmate?’ Spurs laughed as they climbed the short hill through the village towards Rory’s yard.

‘It was just some silly teen stuff Dilly was spouting,’ Ellen lied, remembering with shame that she had been the one spouting it.

‘She’s absolutely adorable, isn’t she? Especially when she’s pissed.’ He looked at her. ‘Pheely was the same at that age.’

‘Thank you for apologising. It meant a lot.’

‘I didn’t do it for you.’

‘It doesn’t matter. It was a noble thing to do.’

‘I did it for Dilly.’ He watched her reaction.

‘Oh.’ She let this sink in. ‘Good.’

Overhead, damp birds were having frantic conversations before bedtime. The sun had come out again, low and red, burnishing the wet leaves.

‘You like her, don’t you?’

‘I like them both.’

‘There was a time,’ he plunged his hands into his pockets and turned to walk backwards so that he could look out across the valley at the rainclouds moving away, ‘when I wanted Pheely more than anyone else in the world. I had this unbelievable crush on her. I thought I’d die without her.’

Ellen fought down the jealousy demons. ‘And now?’

‘Ancient history.’

‘She’s still young.’

‘It was only ever a kid thing, although at the time it felt like the world would stop if nothing happened.’

‘But it did almost happen, didn’t it?’ she reminded him awkwardly.

‘Of course – you know about the crows. I really screwed up there.’

‘As opposed to screwing Pheely.’

‘God, but I love it when you’re crude.’ He cackled, then looked at her profile for a long time as they walked. ‘A friend of mine said I’d never get her to bed in a million years. When she agreed, I wanted to show him he was wrong.’

‘Slightly unsubtle actually inviting him to watch, don’t you think?’

‘I was stoned, I was sixteen. Besides, I’ve always been an exhibitionist. I think I did Pheely a favour. We’d have been disastrous.’

‘You were pretty young to become a step-parent,’ she said pointedly.

‘You never know, it might have straightened me out.’

‘I doubt that. You’d just have been one step-parent closer to incest.’

He laughed. ‘Which would only leave Morris dancing.’

‘Poor Morris. So sad dancing alone.’ Ellen hated how easy it was to patter with him. ‘Is this what you brought me out here to talk about?’

‘No. I like talking to you. I know I can say anything without shocking you.’

‘Like what? That you fancied Pheely when you were sixteen, but now you fancy her daughter?’

‘Yes.’

Ellen’s heart sank.

‘But that’s not what I wanted to talk about either.’

They started crossing the green – smaller and wilder than the one in Oddlode – wading through long wet meadow grass and wild flowers that waved in the wind beneath a row of creaking elder.

‘What do you want to talk to me about?’

‘This.’ Without warning, he cupped her face in her hands and kissed her. But this time his mouth took hers with the softest, sweetest impact. As their lips yielded, a strawberry fresh tongue tasted hers, making a great husk of longing loosen inside her, tickling her inside out with yearning.

For a moment the loud roaring in her ears made Ellen panic that they were destined to be run over by a maddened local farmer on a tractor. And then she realised it was just the sound of blood rushing in her ears. The goosebumps almost popped right off her skin, like ball bearings in a magnetic storm, as she felt the electricity rip through every muscle and staple her to the spot.

‘Tell me to stop.’ He kissed her lips, her face, her ears, her throat.

Ellen said nothing because she couldn’t speak. She could barely breathe for freefall exhilaration. If he threw her down on the spot and took her there and then she wouldn’t protest, despite the close proximity of several sheep and a farmhouse.

Then she kissed him back and the elders seemed to close in around them like blossomed curtains as the world disappeared.

‘Christ, Ellen,’ Spurs breathed into her mouth, ‘we could be so good together.’

‘So why stop it happening?’ She kissed him harder and deeper, loving the way their bodies fused.

‘I can’t.’ He groaned, tasting her teeth. ‘I can’t. I begged Pheely’s forgiveness for you, not that bloody kid of hers. I admit it. I don’t give a fuck if I’ve known you a day, a week or a year. I don’t care that you’re going away. I
want
you to go away. I just want to love you before you go.’

‘I want to love you too.’ Their hands slithered beneath clothes on to hot skin.

‘Do you?’

‘Yes.’

‘You love me?’ His fingers traced her burning-man tattoo.

‘I could.’ She shivered.

A moment later he’d pulled away with a violent jerk, starting off across the green once more. ‘Tell me we’re not soulmates now!’ he threw over his shoulder.

Ellen reeled as the elder curtains opened and the sky fell down.

‘You bastard!’ She ran after him, grabbing his arm. ‘How dare you?’

‘How dare I what?’ He swung round, walking backwards towards a dewpond. ‘Prove you wrong?’

‘There’s a world of difference between wanting to pull each other’s clothes off and being soulmates – if such a thing exists.’

‘Oh, do explain,’ he taunted girlishly, skipping to the edge of the pond, which was a sheet of burning orange in the evening sun. ‘Explain it just like you did to Dilly.’

‘Fuck off!’ She stalked to the other side of the pond to give herself a safety zone. ‘You can’t just pounce on me because you’ve got wood over her.’

‘Is that what you think?’ He sank to his haunches at the water’s edge, staring into it.

‘Yes. You admitted you have the same feelings about her as you did for her mother all those years ago. You’re dying to get into her knickers.’

‘And you’re jealous as hell,’ he said victoriously.

‘Bollocks,’ Ellen fumed, then slammed on the brakes and shrugged in defeat. ‘Why should I be jealous of a ravishing teenager with no side to her, breasts like tennis balls and her sex life ahead of her?’

‘And why should
I
possibly want to get into her driven-snow white little knickers?’ He stood up, smiling wickedly.

Despite herself, Ellen laughed. ‘You are so bloody scruple-free.’

‘I need to get inside someone to get you out of my head. You take up a lot of room.’

‘Don’t use Dilly. She needs looking after.’

‘Maybe you’re right. If she and Rory become lovers, I’ll be chuffed for him. If you took a lover, I’d just want to kill him. And you feel the same way about me.’

‘That’s such rubbish.’

‘I fancy Dilly, Ellen, but I love you.’ He started wading through the pond towards her, hamming it up. ‘I love you.’

‘Cut the love crap.’ She laughed nervously.

‘I’m trying to – I’ve
been
trying to, haven’t you noticed? I keep climbing up to higher ground, but the tide rises and you wash up on my fucking beach all the time.’ He stood in the middle of the pond, up to his knees in glowing red water. ‘You’re like the little mermaid who traded her immortality for legs and stalked into my life at just the wrong moment.’

‘Don’t tell me, I’ve been running through your mind ever since?’ She snorted.

‘Yes!’ He spread his arms wider. ‘I want you to go away. I want you to walk into this water towards me and dissolve.’

‘Go jump off your high ground.’

He rubbed his wild curls and looked up at the sky. ‘The little mermaid was a hell of a lot nicer than you. For a start, she was a mute. That prince was a bloody idiot marrying somebody else.’

‘Are you planning to get married to a mute, then? Might be hard to exchange vows.’

He closed one eye, watching the bustling clouds and letting out a bitter laugh. ‘Will you marry me?’

‘Don’t believe in it.’

‘In that case, will you organise my stag night?’

‘I won’t be here.’

‘I might get married this month.’

‘I might leave tomorrow.’

‘You see? You’re going to dissolve, after all.’ He scanned the sky one last time before dropping his chin and looking at her. ‘You know, I haven’t been able to cool down since we met. I’m boiling hot all the time. Are you?’

She pressed her thumb to her mouth. ‘Actually, I’m not so hot. You said so yourself.’

‘Oh, you are very, very hot.’ He watched the ripples on the water. ‘We both are. What does that mean?’

‘That it’s been unseasonably warm for the time of year.’

‘No. This is what happens when you get sent to hell.’ The silver eyes blazed as he looked at her again. ‘And I am in hell.’

‘Why?’

He didn’t answer.

‘What did you agree to do that’s so awful?’

He looked down at the water and kicked up an angry wave. ‘To find that out, my little mermaid, you’ll just have to solve the riddle before you dissolve for ever.’ Then he looked up at her once more, blew her a kiss, thrust his arms out again and then fell backwards into the water, sending up a great tidal splash. As the turbulent ripples subsided, he floated on his back, staring at the sky. ‘I want you to make another wish.’

Ellen kicked off her shoes and waded in to her ankles. ‘I thought you wanted to forget about the wishes?’

‘We can’t forget. That’s why we’re here. A promise is a promise.’

‘Okay.’ Ellen licked her lips, still tasting his mouth on hers. ‘I wish you’d tell me what it is you’ve agreed to do that’s making you so fucked up.’

‘That’s not a proper wish.’ He bobbed around in the water. ‘That’s therapy.’

‘And?’

‘And I told you, you’ve got to solve the riddle. Dissolve the riddle.’

Ellen pulled her sweaty hair from her face and huffed in frustration.

She waded back out, and stalked around the pond with her arms folded against her chest, boiling hot and longing to plunge in too. The sun, even redder now, made the pond look like molten lava. ‘Don’t be so bloody obtuse.’

‘Are you going to make a proper wish?’

‘No,’ she snapped, reaching boiling point. ‘I’ll take the six pounds sixty-six pence.’

‘Six six six. How apt. I’ll have to write you a cheque.’

‘Will you sign it “Beast”?’ She matched his coolness, wishing he’d put up more of a fight.

‘I’ll sign it “love from Beast”,’ he floated into some reeds, ‘with three crosses – one for every time we’ve kissed.’ He waited, watching her across the red water.

Ellen tried to stop her heartbeat jazz free-styling. She had to concentrate very, very hard not to blow her refund by wishing that he would kiss her again. ‘What’s zero point six six six?’ she asked, resorting to her favourite ardour-cooling pastime.

‘Do tell.’

‘The number of the millibeast.’ She crossed her arms and kicked water from her trainers. ‘One six hundred and sixty sixth?’

‘Enlighten me.’

‘The common denominator of the beast.’

‘What’s the binary of the beast?’ he mocked.

‘One . . . zero . . . one . . . zero . . . zero . . .’ she screwed up her face in concentration ‘. . . one . . . one –’

‘Christ, I wish I’d brought my chequebook with me.’ He started to backstroke out of the reeds, wincing as he found it hurt.

‘. . . zero . . . one . . . zero!’ she finished victoriously. ‘Now do I get my money back?’

‘Maybe. But I still want my massage. My shoulder’s killing me.’

‘Sure.’

‘Can I have it tomorrow? Before you go?’ he teased.

‘If you like.’ She stared out across the valley and noticed that the raincloud was dumping its contents on Oddlode now.

With a great splash, Spurs stood up, water pouring from his clothes as he waded out. ‘You do realise that if you touch my skin, I’ll get third-degree burns.’

‘I’ll wear oven gloves.’

He stood close to her, turning to watch the distant rain too. ‘I’ll come round tomorrow, then.’

‘I have people viewing the house all day,’ she said, avoiding his gaze.

‘I’ll wait till they’re gone.’

She stole a glance across at him. He was ridiculously wet and smiling. ‘What’s so amusing?’

‘You know we’ll end up in bed.’

‘No, we won’t.’

‘Try to stop yourself.’

The door to Rory’s tumbledown cottage was locked, the key still under the pot where he always left it when he was out. Spurs checked on the horses while Ellen went in search of Rory, looking in the tackroom and the horsebox, trying to stop her heart beating between her legs and relocate it to the usual place.

‘No sign.’ She met Spurs at the edge of the tatty stable-block. ‘He must have gone back to the pub.’

He shook his head. ‘He was so nervous about seeing Dilly, he was already caned when we arrived. You saw him, he could hardly walk. We must have missed him on the way over here. He’ll have keeled over somewhere.’

‘Who lives there?’ Ellen gestured to a rusting caravan behind a huge manure pile.

‘Sharrie the groom. She’s out.’

The windows were steamed up. Listening carefully, they could hear groaning.

When they made their way closer, it was obvious that Sharrie had stayed at home after all. Through a dusty, steamed-up window, a pale muscular bottom was bobbing up and down. To either side lolled Sharrie’s mottled thighs.

‘He might not be able to walk, but he’s certainly managing to fuck,’ Spurs said dispassionately.

At his shoulder, Ellen tried desperately not to stare, but it was impossible.

However squalid and unloving, the sight of two people connected together shot a great jolt into her already electric pelvis. She could tell that Spurs was feeling exactly the same hot, angry excitement as he watched beside her.

When she turned to walk away, he grabbed her and twisted her back to face him. ‘Don’t be too hard on him. He doesn’t think he’s good enough for Dilly – which he probably isn’t. Imagine that as an introduction to sexual pleasure.’