Love Abstract (The Art of Falling Book 2) (15 page)

“Okay,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

Phoenix pulls back to kiss my forehead and then look me straight in the eye.

“That’s the God’s honest truth. I’m sorry that you had to deal with her earlier. I had no idea she’d pull that stunt.” His words are earnest and bring me a small sense of relief.

“Me, too. I just hate that I feel like she forced us to take ten steps backward. Especially after last night. Last night was … it was …” There are simply no words to describe its perfection.

“I know. It was something else. I just hope it didn’t ruin your birthday.”

I bring my fingers up to my neck and feel the delicate bird that is still draped around my neck. He smiles as he watches me.

“No, Phoenix.
Nothing
could have ruined my birthday.”

THERE IS NO AWKWARDNESS IN the days that follow. Hailey’s kamikaze visit still weighs heavily on my mind, but I promised that I wouldn’t bring it up again. I gave him his chance to say his peace and it’s time to put it behind us and move on.

I’m just not certain how long I’ll be able to keep that promise.

Once upon a time I would have come out guns blazing to challenge him. But things are different with Phoenix and I don’t want to screw it up by behaving the way I used to with all of my failed relationships.

As skeptical as I am with men, I trust Phoenix. At least I want to and that's more than I can say about any man in my life before him.

We’re sitting on the couch watching
Usual Suspects
for the second time this week because we’re too lazy to walk down the block and return the DVD to the Redbox machine. Sometimes the simplest things seem to take the most work.

“So I’ve been thinking …” I begin nervously.

“A well-thought woman is a dangerous thing, you know.” Phoenix kisses me softly just below my earlobe. A warm shiver melts through my body.

“I'm serious, Phoenix.” I softly laugh and playfully elbow him in the ribs.

“I am, too.” He wraps his arms around me and pulls me near to cuddle against him.

I reach for the remote control that's wedged between us and pause our movie, not that either of us were really paying much attention to it in the first place.

“Okay. I'm sorry ... I'll be good. What's on your mind?”

I don't know how to tell him. So I elect to just spit it out. “I think I'm going to go to Chicago in a few days.” Phoenix loosens his grip and sits up a little straighter, paying close attention to me. “Actually, I know I’m going. I booked my ticket last night.”

“Why?”

He knows exactly why. He doesn't usually ask a question like this unless he knows the answer.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said. About Genevieve. And you're right. As much as I can't stand my sister, I couldn't live with myself if I let CJ continue with his bullshit and fuck more people over. No one deserves that.”

Phoenix bounces his knee up and down frantically. I place my hand on his thigh, stilling him. I love this man and right now I’ve catapulted his mind into overdrive.

“I'm coming with you.”

“No, Phoenix, you can’t. This is something I need to do on my own. You’re under deadline and I don’t want you to screw up this pitch. I really do appreciate you wanting to be there, but I just have to go alone.”

I divert my gaze to the floor. I don’t want him to be upset with my decision, but I need for him to understand that to move forward I have to face the demons of my past on my own.

“I get that, Ivy. I just really want to be there for you. I wish you’d let me.” He places his hand on top of mine and taps his finger absentmindedly. His entire body is restless.

I shake my head and lift my gaze from the ground to his. Phoenix’s small, tight smile is nothing but sincere. I think he understands exactly where I’m coming from, and exactly why I need to do this on my own. It’s clear that his heart aches for me. This beautiful man will always be my protector.

“Hey,” he whispers, reaching out to take my face in his hands. His fingers delicately trace my jawline and he runs his thumb over my lips. “I’m proud of you for doing this.”

He’s been pushing me to report his former best friend ever since it happened, but this was a decision that needed to be made on my own terms. You don’t realize just how personal that choice it is until you’re the one who is forced to make it. Never again will I silently chastise a girl for not taking action for any wrongs committed against her. Unless you’ve been in those shoes, you have no idea how painful and stressful and frustrating and heartbreaking the situation truly is.

With a moment of hesitation, Phoenix leans over and kisses me with caution and restraint. I don’t like it. He’s handling me too carefully. It makes me feel weak—and weak, I am not. I grab his head, tugging his hair with my fingertips and pull him closer, desperate to deepen our kiss. Desperate to feel safe in his arms. Desperate to forget about my fear of what’s to come. When I fall, Phoenix is my net. But when I fly, he is my wind and keeps me from hitting the bottom.

He whimpers in my mouth before pulling back. His eyes shift from concerned to questioning and then lustful. Desperation takes hold and I crawl into his lap, straddle his body and wrap my arms around his neck. There’s a conviction in my eyes that he needs to see.

“Ivy ... I’m not sure we should—”

“Shhh ...” I lick my lips and lean in and kiss him with the heat of a five alarm fire. His hesitation quickly subsides and he falls into our kiss. His tongue dances around mine as I move my hands up the back of his neck and run my fingers through his hair. I can’t remember the last time we had been this wrapped up in a single kiss. Phoenix trembles and softly moans into my mouth and I inwardly smile.

Phoenix slips his hands underneath my shirt and feels his way up my back and unclasps my bra. In one swift motion I pull my top up and over my head, tossing it across the room, then rip my bra off unceremoniously. He delicately palms my breasts before leaning down to kiss my nipples. A soft moan escapes my lips as he takes his time sucking and licking and kissing my nipples taut. When I feel him growing hard beneath me, I teasingly grind my body against his.

“You won’t be needing this for a while ...” I husk while I take off his shirt and discard it on the floor behind us. I trace my hands down his bare chest and push him flat on his back against the couch.

Impatiently we both strip off our pants and I smiles when Phoenix’s boxer briefs get caught on his ankle as he tries to kick them off. Just as I’m crawling back on top of him I realize something’s missing.

“Shit ... I need to grab a condom,” I say, moving to dash out of the room in search of protection. But he grabs my hips tightly and shakes his head.

“You’re not going anywhere right now.” He reaches out to the drawer in the coffee table and grabs a condom from underneath an old issue of
Sports Illustrated
. He really does think of everything.

Phoenix hands me the condom and I rip open the foil. Just as I’m about to roll it down over his hard-on, his hand is between my thigh, tenderly stroking me.

His eyes are full of want and need and never leave mine.

Fuck foreplay.

Eagerly, I grab Phoenix’s erection and guide him into my body, easing down over his impressive length. All the air leaves my lungs and my head rolls back as I still my body to take him in. When I feel his hands grab my hips and start to rock my body, I snap my head back to look at him. His gaze pierces right through me. It makes me feel vulnerable, but still sexy as fuck.

“Ivy ...” he breathes my name and I lean over, running my tongue up his jawline before gently sinking my teeth on his ear lobe. He moans and says “I want to see you.”

I sit back up and I bring one hand up cupping breast and softly stroke my clit with the other. Phoenix watches me intently as his hands are all over my body, caressing my thighs, my ass and my hips.

“You’re so beautiful,” he proclaims in appreciation. But the love in his eyes tells me he’s talking about much more than my appearance.

Phoenix’s arm reaches out and grabs my throat firmly but doesn’t squeeze. His gaze penetrates me and I know that this man is the only
man to ever truly see me for who I am, the only man to ever make me feel. It is, quite possibly, the single most erotic exchange of my short-lived life. Slowly he slides his palm down between my breasts, over my stomach before moving up over my hip and onto my ass where he grabs firmly.

The gesture sends me into overdrive and I feverishly ride him harder and harder, desperate to take everything he’s willing to give me.

Phoenix quickly sits up and wraps his arms around my body, attempting to flip me over onto my back. He fails gloriously and our bodies go crashing to the floor in a loud thud. He hesitates and pushes his body weight up above me. But when a soft laugh escapes my lips, he smiles devilishly returns to ravaging every last inch of my skin. Minutes later he unwraps my right leg from his waist to reposition it against his shoulder.

“Fuck!” I shout. His depth knows no bounds. I raise my hips in the air, meeting him thrust for thrust, a sheen of sweat forming on our bodies. “God! I am so fucking close,” I cry out, moving my hips underneath him, begging for more and desperate for a release.

“Ivy!” His body tenses and he slams into me one final time, sending me over the edge. Fireworks set off in my nerves and every last inch of my body quakes. I can barely catch my breath.

Phoenix presses his forehead to mine and smiles as he kisses me. When he pulls back to look at me, he just shakes his head. “It’s a good thing we both have insurance.”

What the fuck is he talking about?

“Because at this rate, one of us is going to end up in the hospital with a sex induced injury. Between falling off the couch and crashing heads, one of us is bound to end up with a permanent scar.”

I want to tell him it’s too late. That his love has already left me with a permanent scar. Instead I softly smile and kiss him sweetly.

Phoenix rolls to his side, wedging our bodies between the couch and coffee table. He grabs the box of tissues from the table and offers it to me so we can both clean up. Then, I tuck my head in his chest and he grabs the blanket half hanging off the couch and pulls it over us before wrapping me up in his arms. It makes me feel untouchable and safe. And together on the floor, we fall into a sated sleep.

THERE IS AN UNSETTLING FEELING when I arrive in Chicago a few days later. I know I'm probably going to see Gen at some point but I just can't bring myself to return her recent stream of phone calls. I really have nothing to say to her. Or rather, I don’t know
what
to say to her.

I guess sometimes silence is the loudest statement of all.

I keep reminding myself that this is a business trip. I’ll show up, make my statement, and head home. And spend a little bit of quality time with my best friend, of course. I’ll deal with the whole Genevieve ordeal when I have the emotional capacity and when I’m sure she won’t turn all psycho bitch on me again. I’m not a quick one to forgive, and while she has probably already paid her penance, I can’t bring myself to talk with her …
yet
.

Coming down the escalator in O’Hare airport, I’m stunned to see Rachel bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement. I was planning on meeting her at her apartment. It’s a wonderful surprise and I practically knock an old man over as I sprint to give her a hug.

She looks different … good. Happy, even. It’s refreshing to see her this way. Things finally seem to be coming together for her.

The moment we touch, we fall back into our old ways.

“I've missed you so much, you whore!” she says excitedly.

“I've missed you too, Slut Monkey.” I laugh softly. “I just wish I were here under different circumstances.”

“I know you do. And I wish you were, too. You’ll take care of business and then we’ll catch up on life. And since you're only in town for a day and a half, we're going to make the most of it.” She winks.

Oh, God. What does she have in store for us? I'm not sure I can handle her crazy, fucked-up antics.