Love All Out - Part 4 (A Stepbrother Romance) (6 page)

“Willow Rose, there is nothing right about James getting tied down in a relationship he doesn’t want,
especially
for the sake of the baby. Kids are perceptive. By the time the kid’s two, it’ll figure out that Mommy and Daddy can’t stand each other. There’s nothing healthy about that,” he argued.

I sighed again and stared back at the foals. “I don’t know, Matt. First, there was Bradley, and then Daddy nearly died in front of us. And just when all of that started to resolve, Katelyn showed up with her bombshell. It’s like the universe has been telling us we aren’t meant to be, and we’ve been too stubborn to see it.”

“I don’t think that’s how the universe works,” Matt said. “It would certainly be easier if it was. No one would ever have to make any decisions for themselves. We wouldn’t have to take responsibility for our actions. Reality is much more complicated. But what it boils down to is that you have to decide for yourself what you want, and what you’re willing to deal with to have it.”

I smiled at him and raised one eyebrow. “How did you get so wise?” I asked.

He laughed. “Lucas has a bunch of New Age books. I flipped through a couple of them when we got rained in yesterday. I was hoping for a romantic night, but he fell asleep the minute his ass hit the couch.”

“Speaking of rain, looks like there’s some more rolling in,” I said, nodding towards the horizon. “We better get the foals in and make sure all the stalls are secure.”

“What is with this weather?” Matt pondered as we jumped down from the fence panel.

“I don’t know, but at least it’s only rain,” I said as I approached Blaze. He was used to me handling him and stood still while I attached a lead rope to his halter. Buttercup did the same for Matt and we led them into their stalls.

“Want to crash here with me tonight?” I asked as we secured the doors. “We could watch a movie and eat our way through the red meat and junk food that has to be out of here by Monday.”

“Now that’s an offer I can’t refuse,” he agreed, grinning like a maniac.

***

“Willow, they’re here,” James called out from the living room. I glanced at the oven clock.

Its five-thirty… they’re right on time.

I pulled off my apron, wiped my hands, and rushed to the front window. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gone a full week without seeing my father. I was relieved to finally have him home where I could watch out for him. But I was also nervous. Daddy had always been strong and boisterous. I wasn’t sure if he’d be the same man after the heart attack.

“Willow, there’s nothing to be nervous about,” James said, as if he was reading my mind. “Let’s go outside and greet them.” He took my hand and I quickly jerked it away.

“You have to watch that,” I said. “The parents are back.” It was too complicated to keep saying “my dad and your mom” and vice versa, so James and I had evolved into calling them “the parents” for the sake of brevity.

“Sorry,” he whispered under his breath. “I guess I got used to touching you whenever I want. But I won’t do it in front of them,” he assured me as we walked to the door.

After having some time to think, I’d decided not to react to the Katelyn situation until James’s paternity test came back. He was right, I knew who he was when I got involved with him. And it wasn’t like he’d cheated on me; Katelyn got pregnant before James and I ever met. I still didn’t know if I could stay with him if the test was positive and I knew that the “what if” would haunt me until the results came in. But the “what if” wasn’t enough to scare me a way. I still loved James and I was still willing to risk almost anything to be with him.

The one thing I wasn’t willing to risk was Daddy’s health. James and I had a long talk when he came home from New Mexico and we agreed to leave things as they were, at least until Daddy was stronger and the paternity results were in. We were still together, but Matt and Lucas were the only ones who knew.

Nerves fluttered through my chest like butterflies as Renee pulled James’s truck beside mine.

What the hell is wrong with me? Even if he’s a little weak, he’s still my father. He had a heart attack, not a personality transplant.

I smoothed my pico top over my leggings and rushed out of the house to greet Daddy. To my surprise, he opened the passenger door and slid out of the truck with no assistance.

“Hey there, pumpkin,” he said with his old familiar grin. “Give your ol’ dad a hug.”

“Daddy!” I rushed up to him, but stopped short of a hug. He’d lost a little bit of weight, but he didn’t really look frail. “I don’t want to hurt you,” I explained. “I know you’re still healing.”

“You can hug me… just don’t squeeze me,” he said, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I laid my face against his chest and breathed in his scent. I expected the lingering aromas of the hospital, but I was pleasantly surprised. Daddy smelled of Old Spice, red clay, and Big Red gum, just like I’d always remembered. My emotions got the better of me, and tears started rolling down my cheeks.

“I’m so glad you’re home,” I said, trying to keep my voice even.

“Same here,” James said as he kissed Renee hello. “This place isn’t the same without you, Cole,” he added.

Daddy looked around the ranch for a few moments before replying. “I’m glad to be home. Though, it’s obvious you two had no trouble holding down the fort without me. The place looks great… muddy, but great.”

I laughed, finally releasing him. “It’s rained almost nonstop for the last week,” I explained as I gave Renee a tense hug. “I’m starting to wonder when Noah’s going to show up with his ark.”

Daddy and Renee chuckled as we walked to the house. James followed behind us, his arms laden with duffle bags and pillows.

“We just heard a report on the radio,” Daddy said as we stepped into the house. “We’re supposed to have clear skies until Friday.”

I turned towards the couch, but Daddy walked straight past it and into the kitchen. He sat down in his usual seat at the head of the table while Renee sat her purse on the counter and poured two glasses of iced tea.

“It smells wonderful in here,” Renee said as she sniffed the air and returned the pitcher to the refrigerator.

“Thanks,” I said, moving past her to check the whole wheat pasta on the stove. “I know fast food and gas station meals are outlawed in the new diet, so I figured you’d be hungry when you got home. I made grilled chicken breasts with pasta, steamed vegetables, and a lemon herb sauce. I have your bedroom all set up so you can eat in there, if you want. I know you must be exhausted, Daddy.”

“Thanks pumpkin, but I’ve been eating in bed for a week. It’s uncivilized. I’m not too tired to enjoy a proper meal with my family,” he insisted.

I poured myself a small glass of wine as James walked into the kitchen. He grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and took a seat next to Daddy.

“Willow, why don’t you go sit and let me finish all of this?” Renee offered. “I know how hard it must have been to be away from your father. You kids did such a great job taking care of everything.”

“Are you sure?” I hesitated. “I know you have to be tired too.”

She waved off the suggestion. “I’ve missed my kitchen and I feel like I’ve been sitting down for months.”

I nodded and carried my wine to the table. I sat the glass down and turned to Daddy. “Is there anything I can get you? Anything at all?”

“No, sweetheart,” he said. “If you want to do something for me, sit down and tell me about your week. I’m so damn tired of talking about hospitals and prescriptions. I’d rather hear how things have been around here.”

“James and Dallas did everything,” I said honestly. I was proud of the way James had stepped in to take care of things while Daddy was gone.

“We were happy to do it,” James insisted. “Though I have to say, I never realized how much you work, Cole. Stepping into your shoes wasn’t easy, but we managed to keep everything alive, at least.”

“Well, that’s the most important part,” Daddy laughed, raising his tea glass. He clinked it to James’s beer bottle and took a long sip. “How’s the business side of things?”

“Feed prices are down and stock prices are up,” James told him. “You can’t get much better than that. Also, I booked an overnight trail ride for Wednesday. It’s a young couple and their two kids. Huck offered to go with me. I figured you’d need another week at least before you saddle up,” he joked.

“Not much longer than that,” Daddy said, his tone serious. “It’s crazy, but in a lot of ways I feel better now than I have for months. I guess I didn’t realize how sick I was until I started getting better. But I don’t think you should take Huck on the overnight.”

“You don’t?” James asked, one eyebrow cocked. “Why not?”

“Because I think you should take Willow,” Daddy said. “The two of you have been stuck on this ranch for a solid week. It would do you good to get out and enjoy yourselves. If you can get away from the barn, that is,” he finished, looking at me.

“I can help take care of the horses,” Renee offered. She carried in a large bowl of pasta and a platter of grilled chicken breasts.

“Are you sure?” I asked. “Shouldn’t you stay here at the house with Daddy… in case he needs something?”

“Pumpkin, you worry too much,” Daddy insisted. “She’d just be down the driveway. If I need her, I’ll call her.”

“I was stuck in that God awful hospital so long. A day outside is just what I need,” Renee assured me. “But of course, if Cole needs me, I’ll be happy to stay in the house. I just think he’s right. It would do you and James both good to get out of here for a day.”

It would be nice… who knows? Maybe it could even be romantic… we’d have to be careful… but if the guests tuck in early…

James looked at me and I knew he was thinking the exact same thing. “What do you say?” he asked, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

I tried to downplay my excitement. “I guess I could go. It would be nice to spend a night under the stars. We can take Frost and teach him how to camp.”

“Where is our newest family member?” Renee asked, carrying in the steamed vegetables. She sat down next to James and we all started filling our plates.

“He’s probably still in the pasture with Dallas,” I said, grabbing a chicken breast with a serving tong. “He’s already becoming quite the cattle dog.”

“James, I can’t tell you what it means to me that you bought Willow that puppy,” Daddy said, twirling pasta around his fork. “I’ve been watching you… in Kentucky, in Baltimore, at the hospital. You always go above and beyond to protect my little girl. You act like a real big brother to her and for that, I’m immensely grateful.” Daddy popped the pasta into his mouth while I tried not to choke on a piece of broccoli.

I feel so guilty for keeping this secret from him. If he only knew the real reason James takes such good care of me…

“You don’t have to thank me for that, Cole,” James insisted. “That’s what families are for.”

I washed the broccoli down with half a glass of wine and prayed we’d get through dinner with no other awkward comments.

“See buddy? Lottie is a sweet horse. If you sit up in the saddle with your daddy, you’ll feel like a real cowboy,” James said. He was on one knee, trying to convince Jase, our eight year old guest, to get on horseback with his father. Jase looked terrified of the animal and refused to budge from his spot on the ground.

Jase’s four year old sister, Josie, was having a meltdown of a different kind. She was already on Peaches with her mother, Caroline, and didn’t understand why she couldn’t ride all by herself.

“I don’t
wanna
go!” Jase insisted, stomping his foot. “I wanna go back to the hotel and play my video games.”

“Jase, we’ve already talked about this,” his father, Thatcher, scolded him. “We gave you lots of options for things we could do while we’re on vacation, and this is what you wanted. We’re not backing out now. You can live without your X-box for a day or two.”

The little boy looked horrified by the thought. James turned to him with a patient grin. “You like games, Jase?”

Jase nodded, his lower lip stuck out in a pout.

“Well you know what? There are lots of games we can play once we get to the campsite. I can’t wait to show them to you, but we have to get there first. And to do that, you have to get on this horse.”

Jase squinted at James. “What kind of games?” he asked skeptically.

“It’s a secret,” James said in a hushed, excited whisper. “I can’t tell you until we get there.”

The little boy wrinkled his nose for a minute. “And the horse is really nice? She won’t jump or run?”

“She’s the nicest horse we have,” James said. “That’s why we saved her for you.”

Jase looked at Lottie and shook his head. “I don’t want to go on that horse. I want to go with you,” he insisted.

James looked up at Thatcher. “It’s fine with me if it’s fine with you,” Thatcher said with a shrug. “Whatever gets him up the mountain.”

“All right, little buddy. You can ride with me,” James said. He turned and looked at Josie. “I know you want to ride all by yourself,” he said, lowering his voice sympathetically. “But I need you to do a super important favor for me.”

Josie looked at him with raised eyebrows. “What?”

“You are obviously a strong, brave little girl. I need you to hold on extra special tight to your mommy, so she doesn’t fall out of the saddle. Can you do that for me?”

The little girl’s face lit up and she nodded. “I take care of Mommy.”

“Fantastic,” James smiled back at her. He helped Jase into the saddle and climbed on in front of him. I swung myself onto Mayhem’s back and we set out for the mouth of the trail. James and Jase were in the lead, I brought up the rear, and Caroline, Thatcher, and Josie were between us.

It was bittersweet to watch James with the children. I loved seeing firsthand what a wonderful father he’d make some day. But I was devastated that Katelyn might be the one giving him his first child.

I can’t think about this… not today. Everything else has worked out for the best. Bradley’s gone. Daddy’s on the mend… the Katelyn problem will disappear too… as soon as those results come back.

The ride to the campsite was surprisingly quiet. The kids seemed content to observe nature. When they did speak, it was usually to point out an interesting tree or a passing bunny rabbit. When we stopped for a quick lunch, they inhaled their sandwiches and begged to get back in the saddles. Mayhem and I stayed in the back of the line and before I knew it, we were at the campsite.

“Where are the games? Where are the games?” Jase squealed happily as he ran circles around the fire pit.

“Can Peaches sleep in my tent?” Josie asked with a frown as I tied the palomino to the hitching post.

“I think she’s just a little too big,” I said with a laugh. The little girl looked around the campsite with a frown.

“Where is my tent?” she asked, her hands on her hips.

“That’s our first game,” James announced. He walked over to one of the large metal strong boxes that stayed onsite and pulled out a large canvas bag. “Willow and Josie are going to put one side of the tent together, and Jase and I will do the other side. Whichever team finishes first wins.”

“Yea!” Josie cheered. “We’ll win!” She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards James. He looked at Thatcher and lowered his voice.

“You’re free to help, if you want. But you could also grab a couple of camping chairs from the box and enjoy something from the grownup cooler while we keep them entertained.”

Early that morning, James and Dallas had driven our supplies up in two of the ATVs. The family had requested ‘rustic, authentic camping meals’, so we’d stocked up on hot dogs, hamburgers, and plenty of marshmallows and chocolate. We’d also brought milk and juice boxes for the kids, soda, beer, and wine for the adults.

“We’re definitely opting for the grownup cooler,” Thatcher said, his voice full of relief. “Which one is it?”

“The Yetti on the left,” James replied with a wink.

Thatcher and Caroline spent most of the evening relaxing by the fire while James and I entertained their kids. It was the first time we’d had a family on an overnight, and James pulled out all the stops to show them a great time. He turned the entire process of setting up camp into one big game, and then gave the kids a scavenger hunt that kept them occupied for hours. Thatcher and Caroline joined in, taking turns helping their kids find things like perfectly shaped rocks, different colored flowers, and leaves shaped like arrows. The hunt exhausted the kids and after a meal of chips and hot dogs roasted over the fire, they were ready to tuck in for the night.

“See you in the morning, Mr. James, Ms. Willow,” Josie said with a wave as Caroline carried her to the family’s tent.

“Goodnight,” Jase added as he stumbled behind his father.

“Sleep well,” I called to them.

“We’ll see you in the morning,” James promised. He turned to Thatcher and lowered his voice. “Willow and I will turn in for the night, so you and Caroline can enjoy the stars alone once the kids are out. Let us know if you need anything.”

“Thanks,” Thatcher replied, his grin growing bigger. “This has been a great night, much better than I expected.”

“Happy to hear that,” James said with a nod. The family disappeared into their tent and James led me to ours.

He gently lowered himself onto one of the twin sized air mattresses and pulled off his boots. He lay down and I settled in beside him.

“Do you remember the last time we were here?” I whispered into his ear.

“It’s all I’ve been thinking about since we got here,” he confessed. “I’ll never be able to look at that fire pit without remembering our first time together.” He rolled onto his side. “You were so feisty, so beautiful in the light of the flames. And then, I did this.” He planted a soft, smoldering kiss on my lips and then pulled away.

I looked at him and nodded. “And then, I did this.” I kissed him again, this time opening my mouth and exploring his with my tongue. I reached for the top button of his shirt and James covered my hand with his.

“We can’t do this… not unless you can be completely silent,” he warned.

“I can do that,” I assured him, pulling his face back to mine. As we kissed, James unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall down his arms. He pulled away from me and stood up, kicking off his jeans. I pulled my t-shirt over my head while he pulled off my boots and slid my jeans and panties down my legs. He grabbed a condom from his duffle bag and started to open it as he lay back on the mattress.

“Not yet,” I whispered, taking the condom from his hand. I pushed him onto his back and reached for his stiff, throbbing cock. “I know I can be quiet, but I’m not so sure about you,” I teased as I stroked him. “And if I’m remembering correctly, our first time started like this.”

I dropped my head and circled the tip of his cock with my tongue. James’s breath quickened and he squirmed beneath me, but no sound escaped his lips. I savored the taste of his salty skin as I bobbed up and down on his prick. James grabbed the back of my head and thrust into my mouth before pushing me away. He wordlessly flipped me onto my back, his mouth enveloping my right breast as his fingers explored my slick pussy. I breathed heavily and bit my lower lip to keep from crying out.

“If
I
remember correctly, I teased and licked every inch of your body before taking you the first time,” James whispered, his voice rough. He planted a soft kiss on my hip bone and I grabbed his head before he could move lower.

“There’s no way I could stay quite through that reenactment,” I whispered. His fingers moved gently inside me, just enough to make me want more. “In fact, this may have been a horrible idea,” I moaned.

James pulled away from me and rolled the condom down his cock. He climbed on top of me and lowered his lips to my ear.

“Just keep your lips to mine,” he whispered as he used one hand to guide the tip of his prick inside me. I let out a deep breath and he covered my mouth with his. He pushed the rest of the way inside me and instead of crying out, I grabbed the back of his head and probed my tongue deeper into his mouth. The sensations of the moment blended with my memories of our first night on the mountain and I felt my pussy gush wet with pleasure. James pulled his face an inch away from mine.

“Did you… all ready?” he whispered, holding himself still inside me.

I shook my head pushed myself down on his cock. “No… not yet,” I gasped, returning my lips to his.

“You’ve never been so wet,” he whispered, our lips still connected. “I have to taste it… can I?” he asked, rocking into me again.

I nodded and reached for a pillow to muffle my moans. James’s cock slid out of me, quickly replaced by his tongue. He held my pussy open wide as he lapped my juices with abandon. I bit the pillow to keep from crying out.

“I could come, just tasting you,” he moaned softly, his hot breath teasing my thigh.

I was too lost in my pleasure to reply. I bucked into James’s face as waves of electrified passion coursed through my body. He rubbed my clit between two fingers and thrust his wet, rigid tongue deeper, pushing me over the edge. I held my breath and came silently, gushing more wetness onto James’s eager tongue. Suddenly, his head trembled against me and he collapsed onto the mattress.

There’s no way that just happened.

But it had. James rolled over and pulled the filled condom off of his shrinking erection. He tossed it to the floor of the tent and snuggled up beside me.

“You really just came?” I whispered, my voice full of disbelief. “Without me even touching you?”

“You were doing plenty,” he assured me. “And yes, I came… pretty hard, actually,” he finished with a surprised and satisfied grin. “That’s never happened to me before, Willow.”

I felt the oddest sense of pride. “Well, one day we’ll have to see if we can do it again,” I suggested. “But not tonight. Being quiet was a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

“I know what you mean,” he agreed. “I hate to say this, but we should probably put some clothes on. And one of us needs to move to the other mattress. The last thing we need is for Thatcher or Caroline to find us like this in the morning. Or God forbid, one of the kids.”

I nodded and reluctantly left his arms. I fetched my pajamas from my duffle bag, pulled them on, and lay down on the other mattress. James pulled on his pajama pants, wrapped the spent condom in a paper towel, and stowed it in a small pocket of his bag.

“I love you, Willow,” he whispered as he settled back into his bed.

“I love you too, James.” I closed my eyes and longed for the day when we wouldn’t have to hide.

***

“Willow, I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you’ve agreed to be my maid of honor,” Renee gushed from across the lunch table. “And James being Cole’s best man just makes everything perfect. I’m so happy at the way we’ve all been able to come together as a real family.”

“I’m happy too, Renee,” I said, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. When James and I had arrived home the night before, the parents sat us down and asked us to be in the wedding. I agreed before I realized it would mean days full of errands and planning. We’d spent the entire morning at Durango’s only bridal shop and were scheduled to sample cakes right after lunch.

“You know, Willow… I owe you an apology,” Renee said with a sad sigh. “You made the right decision after Cole’s heart attack. I see that now. I also see what a horrible bitch I was,” she confessed, her cheeks turning pink.

“I accept your apology,” I said as she took a long drink of water. “But it was hardly necessary, Renee. It was obvious how frightened you were that day. And you weren’t a bitch at all.”

“Oh yes I was,” she insisted. “I was terrified for your father, Willow. But I was also terrified for myself. Gus’s death was so sudden, so tragic. I wasn’t sure I’d survive if I lost Cole too. My fear blinded me to the one thing I should have been focused on.”

“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about,” I said, my brow wrinkled in confusion.

“You, Willow,” Renee replied. Tears welled in her eyes as she reached across the table and took my hand. “I love Cole, but he’s your father. He’s the only parent you’ve ever known. And he collapsed in front of you. I should have been there for you, Willow, regardless of whether or not we disagreed about his treatment. I should have held your hand and been strong for you, like a mother’s supposed to.”