Love All Out - The Complete Series (A Stepbrother Romance) (11 page)

“Your dad and I went out with Rose,” Dallas continued.  “We were dammed fools, all three of us. The snow had let up a bit, lightning was still awful. The weight of the snow and ice had collapsed fences all over the ranch. We picked up the horse’s tracks and realized he’d run for high ground.” Dallas paused and I could see the pain that day still caused him. “And then suddenly, it felt like the entire mountain was moving with the thunder. Rose was a few feet in front of us one minute and… gone in the next.”

Tears filled my eyes as we sat down at the table. I wiped them away and Dallas put a comforting, calloused hand on my forearm.

“Willow, I know this is hard. But I need you to understand what I saw that day. I watched Rose disappear. And then I turned to Cole and watched him do the same. A light went out in him… a light I never thought I’d see again.”

I knew where he was going. “Until he met Renee?” I asked.

Dallas nodded. “She’s brought him back to life, Willow. I know this isn’t easy for you. But Rose would want your dad to be happy. She’d want you
both
to be happy.”

I shifted in my seat, unsure of how to respond. “I’m trying… or at least I
want to
want to try… if that makes sense.” It was the truth. I wished that I wanted to get to know Renee better, that I could find a way to want a new family. But to me, family meant me and Daddy at the main house, Dallas and Mary behind us, and grandparents who sent cards for Christmas and my birthday. That kind of family had been just fine for the last twenty-two years and I had no desire to change things.

“Wanting to want to try is a start,” Dallas said with a patient smile. “Keep an open mind about things and remember I’m always here to listen if you need to talk.”

We stood, and I wrapped Dallas in a hug. “Thank you for coming down to check on me, Dallas.”

“Any time, kiddo.”

We released each other and then climbed into our trucks to drive the short distance home.

***

A strong, salty smell greeted me as I stepped into the house. I followed voices into the kitchen, where Renee was bent over the stove stirring a large skillet of thick, white gravy. Daddy and James sat at the table, each nursing a longneck beer.

“Willow, I’m so glad you’re home,” Renee greeted me. She set down her whisk and crossed the room to hug me. I gave her a quick, stiff embrace and pulled away with my nose turned up.

“I’m sorry, but what is that smell?” I asked. “Did someone spread saltlick around the house?”

“Oh, those are the boiled peanuts,” Renee explained as she rushed back to the stove. She resumed her gravy whisking and continued. “They taste better than they smell, I promise. I wanted to do something special tonight, so I’m making a full blown Southern feast.”

“Renee’s really outdoing herself,” Daddy said, beaming with pride at his new fiancé’s kitchen skills. James peeled the label off of his beer bottle in long, thin strips, not even trying to hide the fact that he was bored. I grabbed a beer from the fridge and leaned against the counter as I surveyed the kitchen. It was a mess of flour, grease, and dirty dishes. Two covered skillets sizzled on the back burners while a stock pot boiled next to the gravy. Another pot sat covered next to the stove.

“You have outdone yourself,” I told Renee. “Is there anything I can do to help?” I didn’t actually
want
to help, but I’d promised Matt and Dallas that I’d be nice.

“Oh no, sweetheart,” Renee insisted. “You just sit down and relax. I’ll have everything ready in just a few minutes.”

I was grateful for the out and joined Daddy and James at the table.

“How was your ride, pumpkin?” Daddy asked.

“A little more exciting than I’d planned on. There was a big, flat rock in the middle of the trail. That rain last week must have uncovered it. Mayhem slipped a little, but he stayed upright and I stayed on him. We need to call the farrier out though. I’m pretty sure he knocked a shoe loose.”

“There’s no need to call anyone,” Renee called out from her side of the kitchen island. “I can fix it.”

“You can?” I called back, surprised.

Is there anything you can’t do?

“Of course I can. Your father and I were just working on a list of things I’m going to start handling around the ranch. Shoeing the horses is one of them.” Renee brought a large bowl of boiled peanuts and four empty plates to the table. It took a few moments for the full meaning of her words to sink in. My mouth dropped open slightly, and I looked across the table at James. He looked as miserable as I felt.

A list of things she’s taking over around here? That was fast. What the hell else is she suddenly in charge of?

I turned to Daddy with anxious eyes. “I didn’t realize we’d be shuffling responsibilities around so soon. Care to fill me in on the changes?” I swallowed nervously and waited for his reply.

“Relax sweetheart, your barn is still yours. In fact, it’s
all
yours. I’m signing over my stock in the horses to you next week,” he announced with a broad grin. “Along with the deed to the lot the barn is on.”

“I don’t understand…”

Renee returned to the table with a large platter of chicken fried steaks and Daddy rose to take it from her. “I’ll explain everything in just a second, pumpkin,” he told me. “Just let me help Renee with the rest of the food.”

I took a long sip of my beer and stared at James. “Do you know what’s going on?” I mouthed silently.

He clinched his jaw and nodded. “I don’t think you’re going to like it,” he whispered.

I took a peanut from the bowl so I’d have something to do with my hands. The shell was waterlogged and squishy. I couldn’t bring myself to eat it. I dropped it onto my plate and wiped the saltwater onto a napkin.

Daddy and Renee carried dish after dish to the table. They finally sat down and I took in the food in front of me: chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, pan gravy, fried squash, biscuits, and collard greens fried with bacon.

This is her master plan… she’s going to give him a heart attack.

I served myself just enough food to be polite and waited impatiently for everyone else to fill their plates. Anxiety killed my appetite, but I forced down two bites of potatoes before turning back to Daddy.

“So, you were about to explain something?” I pressed.

Daddy swallowed a large bite of steak and washed it down with his beer. “That’s right. I’m signing over the deed to your barn lot and my stock in the horses. I’m also signing over that lot near the waterfall, the one you want to build on one day.”

My face flushed hot with confusion. “You’re signing over the waterfall lot too? Does that mean… are you kicking me out?”

I couldn’t believe it. I’d dreamed of building my own home on the ranch someday, but I never imagined I’d be kicked out of Daddy’s.

“Well of course we’re not kicking you out,” Renee assured me. “We just didn’t think you’d want to live with us. James certainly doesn’t. Your father and I just want you to have the option of getting out on your own… whenever you’re ready.”

I stared down at my plate and pushed mashed potatoes around with my fork. “I guess that makes sense. But why are you signing over the barn and the horses?” I asked without looking up.

“Because you’ve earned it,” Daddy answered with a shrug. “Also because there will be some changes around here, and I want you to know that the thoroughbreds are yours.”

Here it comes… what’s he given her control over?

Daddy shoveled another bite of food into his mouth and I finished my beer. I set the empty bottle down on the table and James wordlessly rose to get me another.

“What kind of changes?” I finally asked. James returned to his seat and passed me the open bottle. I took a long drink while I waited for Daddy to answer.

“Well, obviously Renee and James will be moving onto the ranch. Renee will live here, of course, and James will be in the free staff cabin,” Daddy began. He took a large bite of mashed potatoes and Renee continued for him.

“I’m going to sell my house,” she explained.

“
Our
house,” James corrected her.

“Fine,
our
house,” she agreed, rolling her eyes. “James can’t afford the mortgage and it makes more sense for him to be here anyway.”

“It does?” I asked. I raised one eyebrow and looked at James.

“Yes,” he replied, his jaw clenched again, the muscle working under the skin. “It makes sense, considering my new job.”

I was completely lost. “Your new job…?”

“I want to cut back on my workload, Willow,” Daddy announced. “I want to spend time with my new bride. Dallas has agreed to take on some of my administrative chores, and James is going to step in and help him with the day to day ranch work.”

“You’re looking at the new assistant foreman,” James said dryly.

I was stunned. I looked from Daddy to Renee, and then back to Daddy. “You’re retiring? But you’ve always said you’d never retire.”

“I’m not retiring, just lightening my load. I want to focus on the work I actually enjoy… the work Renee and I can enjoy together.”

“So does this mean you won’t be working in my barn anymore?” I asked Renee.

“I’ll help out when I can,” she assured me. “But with all the traveling we’ll be doing soon, you should probably start thinking about hiring someone new.”

All the traveling we’ll be doing? Of course… now that they’re engaged, Renee will be coming to the Derby with us. Damn it, the whole reason we hired her in the first place was so Matt and I could leave town together.

“Of course,” I replied with my best polite smile. “That’s probably a good idea.”

“I’m so glad you agree,” Renee replied, her voice dripping with excitement. “I’d like for us to both have some free time. I have so many ideas for your program and I can’t wait to share them with you. James was never interested in breeding. It will be so nice to pass my knowledge on to someone.”

Renee took a long drink of her iced tea and I stuffed my mouth full of steak to keep from smarting off.

I knew it! She’s taking over everything. My house, my ranch, my horses… I don’t need her knowledge. This is my only connection to Mom, she can’t have it.

I swallowed the food along with the words that wanted to spew from my mouth. After another sip of beer, my temper calmed but wasn’t yet even. “You have ideas for my program?” I asked. For Daddy’s sake, I did my best to hide the frustration in my voice.

Renee nodded happily as she rose from the table. She walked to the counter top and pulled on oven mitts.  “I know you have your eye on that stallion up in Sterling, but I don’t think you should buy him just yet. I’d like to take you to a few farms while we’re in Kentucky. A couple of my old friends are running their parents’ program now. They’re producing some amazing stock. I think that a little Bluegrass blood is just what this place needs.”

And I think we’ve got too much already.

Renee returned to the table with a bubbling peach cobbler. She sat it on a trivet and spooned a huge portion onto Daddy’s plate.

“I appreciate your input, but I made final payment on Locomotion yesterday,” I said as Renee sat back down.

“Well, you can still look at the Kentucky horses,” Daddy broke in. “I’d like to see them too. We’ll make a family trip of it.”

“Oh Cole, that would be wonderful!” Renee gushed.

I couldn’t sit there a moment longer. I pushed my chair away from the table. “Renee, the cobbler smells amazing, but I’m too full to try it right now. I left Mayhem saddled. I should really get back to the stables and put him away for the night.”

“Okay sweetheart… I’ll leave some warming in the oven for you,” Renee called out as I escaped from the kitchen. I rushed through the house and out the front door with James at my heels.

“Willow, wait,” James called as I raced down the driveway. I moved towards the stables without acknowledging him. “For heaven’s sake, Willow, they might be watching us. I told them I was coming to help you, could you just wait for me?”

I stopped, but didn’t look back. A few moments later, James was at my side. We continued to the stables without looking at each other.

“How the hell did his happen?” I hissed as we stepped through the open barn door. “How the hell did
any
of this happen?” I collapsed in a chair and held my head in my hands.

“Mayhem isn’t saddled,” James observed.

I looked up at him impatiently. “Of course he isn’t. I just had to get out of there,” I spat. “No offense to your mother, but if she thinks she’s going to swoop in and start changing things around here, she’s got another thing coming.”

“Well no offense to your dad, but he’s going to learn real soon that marrying my mom doesn’t give him the right to tell me what I can and cannot do,” James snapped.

I looked up, finally meeting his eye. His eyes were narrowed and a thick, green vein pulsed on his forehead. He sat down in the chair across from me and angrily kicked the dirt.

“I take it there’s a story behind your new position?” I asked. “How did they get you to agree to be the assistant foreman?”

“At first, Cole made it sound like I’d be doing him a huge favor. Mind you, this was after my mother announced that she’s selling the only home I’ve ever known. Your dad asked if I’d help out around the ranch since I’ll be living here. I hesitated, because I want to get back to bull riding. I told them that and your dad gave me a big speech about being a man, settling down and accepting some real responsibility. Then Mom made it pretty clear that I’ll be expected to work for my keeping. I need a place to live, and if I want to live here, I have to work here.”

“That’s completely unfair.”

“We finally agree on something,” he said, his face softening into a smile. “I saw your face when Mom was talking about the Kentucky horses. Do you finally understand why we need to put a stop to this?”

I wanted to say yes, but Matt and Dallas’s words were still dancing around in my head. “I don’t know,” I said, looking back down at the table. “Don’t get me wrong, I hate this as much as you do. But are you sure we aren’t being selfish?”

“We have to think about ourselves,” James insisted. “Our parents certainly aren’t thinking about us. My dad designed our house. The idea of Mom selling it makes me sick to my stomach. And you can’t tell me you feel any differently about my mom moving in to the house your mom and dad shared.”

“I hate the idea,” I agreed. “But shouldn’t we
want
our parents to be happy? Is there something wrong with us?”

James reached across the table and took my hand. I let him hold it for a second and then pulled away, remembering him with Katelyn.  “There’s nothing wrong with us,” he told me. “We both care about our parents and we don’t want to see them make a mistake. And we both know that this marriage is a mistake. I don’t want to hurt either one of them, just help them see the light.”

His assurances silenced the voices in my head. “What do you have in mind?” I asked.

His excitement that I was on board was obvious. His eyes twinkled, and he looked like a man with a plan.

“I have a couple of ideas,” he told me. “I know Mom’s high school boyfriend is still in Kentucky. I thought I might arrange for them to run in to each other while we’re there for the Derby. I don’t expect Mom to run off with him or anything, but it could cause enough doubts that she’ll call off the engagement. Do you know if your dad has any old girlfriends around here? Or someone else that might hold some influence over him?”

I shook my head. “No one comes to mind, but I’ll dig around and see if I can find some names. I know Daddy has his old college yearbooks in his office. I’ll start there.”

“Okay, let me know what you find. I have another idea that might make the exes unnecessary,” he told me.

“Good, because as fast as they’re moving they could be married by the time we leave for Kentucky,” I pointed out.

“That’s what I’m worried about,” James agreed. “I almost feel guilty pulling out the big gun, but desperate times call for desperate measures.”

“How big of a gun are we talking?” I nervously bit my lower lip and waited for James to explain his plan.

“Mom’s headstrong, but there’s one person who’s always been able to bend her to their will… my Nana Claire, my dad’s mom. I think she’d be very interested to learn that Mom’s selling off her son’s dream home and marrying another man. It’s my duty as a good grandson to call and tell her what’s going on,” he finished with a mischievous grin.

He seemed so confident, I almost felt guilty. Nana Claire sounded like a formidable woman.

“I don’t know…” I hesitated. “I don’t want to put Renee through anything… traumatic.”

James sighed with frustration and kicked at the dirt floor. “Do you want to call her Mom? Because that’s what will happen if we sit back and do nothing. In a single day, they’ve gotten married, had two family meals, made plans to sell my childhood home, strong armed me into a job, and essentially told you to get out and build your own house.”

“Point taken,” I agreed. “How long will it take your nana to get here?”

“I’ll call her this week,” James promised. He relaxed his shoulders and leaned back in his chair. “It’s kind of nice… having a conversation without you yelling at me, I mean. You know, Willow, I meant what I said this morning. I really would like it if we could be friends.”

I stood up and shook my head as I walked towards the door. “We may have a common goal right now, but we’ll never be friends.”

“Why not?” he called after me.

I turned and stared at him with narrowed eyes. “Because you’re only nice to me when we’re alone. I’ll take responsibility for the part I played in this, James. I knew what kind of man you are and I slept with you anyway. I let myself believe that you could actually have feelings for me. I know that I was wrong, but you didn’t have to rub it in my face.”

“Willow, Katelyn wasn’t my date last night. We ran into each other. She’d heard about my accident and she was so relieved I was okay, she kissed me. I didn’t want to push her away and embarrass her in front of everyone. And in all fairness, I had no idea you’d be there.”

“You didn’t expect me to be there, because you didn’t invite me,” I reminded him. “And you’re free to kiss whoever you’d like. But that shit eating grin you gave me when I found the two of you together crossed the line. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? It was like you were happy you’d put me in my place.”

James stood up and moved towards me. “Willow, I’m sorry. Please, let me explain.”

I held up my hands to stop him. “There’s no need, James. Really. Nothing you could say would change anything and I don’t want to hear it anyway. We both made mistakes, there’s no reason to dwell on them. Let’s just focus on breaking up this engagement so we can both get on with our lives.”

I stomped out of the stables and this time, James didn’t follow me.

***

Over the next few days, Daddy and Renee showed no signs of slowing down with their wedding plans. On Monday, Daddy had all the furniture from his bedroom and the living room moved to one of the staff cabins. On Tuesday, he took Renee shopping in Grand Junction. On Wednesday, delivery men filled the house with new furniture. Renee officially moved in on Thursday.

The house was filled with her bubbly sweetness and I felt like I would drown in it if I didn’t escape. I welcomed her to the ranch one last time, and then set off for James’s cabin.

I took long, deep breaths of the fresh mountain air as I followed the path that connected the main house to the staff houses behind it. James had moved in to the same cabin he and Renee had lived in after his accident. Daddy signed a plot of land over to him as well, but I was certain he’d never build on it. I kept telling myself that the engagement would be over soon, and my life would get back to normal.

James stepped out on his porch as I neared the cabin. He had on tight Wranglers, boots, and his white cowboy hat. His bare, chiseled chest gleamed in the sunlight. The site of him made me forget the reason behind my visit.

James stared at me for a moment. His lip curled up in a cocky grin when he realized I was distracted by his body. “Hey there, Willow. Did you come to help me get settled in? I’d suggest we christen my new place, but as I recall, we’ve already done that.”

My eyes darted to the ground and my cheeks burned hot with embarrassment. “I had to get out of the house… our parents are acting like teenagers,” I mumbled.

“And you came here? Isn’t Matt down at the barn?” James pressed. “I’m flattered.”

“Don’t be,” I quickly replied. I put one hand on my hip and used the other to shield my face from the sun. I looked up at James, careful not to drop my eyes below his chin. “I wanted to check in and see if you’ve talked to your nana.”

A proud grin spread across his face. “As a matter of fact, I have. Brace yourself for some unexpected company at dinner.”

“Tonight?” I asked, suddenly flustered.

James nodded. “Come inside and I’ll tell you all about it.”

I followed James into the cabin and took a seat on the recliner. He was still half naked, and I didn’t trust myself to be close to him, despite what had happened at the rodeo. James fetched two beers from his refrigerator, passed me one, and took a seat on the couch. I crossed my legs and looked at him with raised eyebrows, waiting for his explanation.

James popped the cap off of his bottle, took a long drink, and then began. “I called Nana on Tuesday after I woke up and saw the ‘for sale’ sign in my yard. We had a nice long talk, and then I casually mentioned that she should take down my new address. I acted like I thought Mom had already told her everything. Needless to say, Nana Claire wasn’t happy. She and Grandpa Dave couldn’t get away from home until today. They should be here in a few hours.”

My stomach fluttered and my heart raced in my chest. Suddenly, I wasn’t sure that bringing Nana Claire to town was a good idea. I rolled the beer bottle between my hands and rocked the recliner back and forth.

“Willow… are you alright?” James asked. I stared at the floor, unable to tell if he was concerned or frustrated.

“I don’t know, James… it kind of feels like we’re ambushing them…” I hesitated.

“We agreed that this was for the best,” he reminded me. “And we’re not ambushing them. My grandparents are allowed to come see me whenever they want. If Nana wants to share her opinions on Mom and Cole’s engagement, so be it.”

I took a sip of my beer and tried to calm my nerves. I wanted to believe that James was right but, deep down, I knew he was just rationalizing what he wanted to do. “I don’t know…” I said again, twirling my hair nervously between two fingers.

“You can’t even stand to be in the same house with them, Willow,” James pointed out. “You came down here because you needed to escape. Have you seriously already forgotten about that?”

Dread filled my stomach as I thought about the love fest going on back at home. I hated the thought of causing Daddy any pain, but I couldn’t live with him and Renee.

“You’re right,” I agreed with a sigh. “On the walk over here, I was thinking that if something doesn’t give soon, I’ll have to find a contractor and build my own house. And I can’t exactly afford to do that right now. Unless I take out a loan against the land and horses… which I don’t want to do.”

James nodded. “I don’t blame you. Its better this way, I promise. If I really thought my mom and Cole were right for each other, I’d stay out of it. But in the long run, we’re saving them from making a terrible mistake. And who knows? Maybe when all of this is over, you and I can finally…”

My heart skipped a beat as James’s voice trailed off. He cleared his throat and glanced nervously towards the window.

Finally…? Was he going to say we can finally be together? I can’t get my hopes up again. That can’t be what he meant.

“We can finally…?” I asked softly.

James turned to me, but couldn’t look me in the eye. “Nothing… I don’t know what I was going to say. Just forget about it.” James tossed his hat onto the coffee table, grabbed a white t-shirt from the arm of the couch, and pulled it over his head. He glanced down at his phone, and I knew I was being dismissed.

“I should go back to my house for a while,” James said as he rose from the couch. He left the Stetson on the coffee table and covered his chestnut hair with a ball cap. I stood and followed him to the door.

“Mom made me a list of things that need repaired before it sells,” he continued as we stepped outside. “If I don’t get started, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

A horrible thought crossed my mind and panic pounded in my chest. “Will you be back before your grandparents get here?” I asked quickly. The idea of being on my own with Daddy, Renee, and formidable Nana Claire made me want to run into the mountains and hide.

“I’ll be back in plenty of time,” James assured me. He paused at the landing of the porch steps and put a gentle hand on my arm. “Look Willow, I can tell you’re having second thoughts about helping me. If you don’t want to be a part of this, I understand. But please, don’t get in my way. I really do believe that calling my grandparents was the right thing to do. If anyone can remind my mom of what she and Dad had, it’s them.”