Love and Dreams: The Coltrane Saga, Book 6 (18 page)

Jade was starting to agree with him because the clouds were becoming thicker, darker. A heavy haze began to descend. Suddenly the wind died down, and the atmosphere around them became very still. The air felt heavy, pressing. At that, Bryan stood. “I don’t think we should risk heading back now,” he stated. “Looks like we’re going to have one of those sudden blows that can be dangerous to small craft. I’ll drag the boat up, lower the sail, and try to secure it.”

He ran down the beach and Jade quickly began to gather up their things, repacking the basket. By the time she finished, the wind had picked up once more, this time with a slow, shrill scream that rose and fell like the cry of a banshee, sending chills of terror up and down her spine. Bryan returned, grabbed her hand tightly, and shouted above the wind, “Let’s get to the cave. It’s facing against the wind, and there’s a high ledge we can crawl up on where we’ll be safe. I don’t think this will last long.”

They ran the short distance to the cave, stumbling inside just as the skies opened and the rain washed down in torrents. Inside, the light was dim, but they could see their way to scramble up on the shelves of coral till they reached the ledge Bryan felt was safe.

There they huddled together and as the moments ticked by and the storm raged outside, they became increasingly aware that there was also another tempest brewing within the sanctuary of their cave—within themselves. At precisely the same moment, they turned, eyes meeting in a communion of longing which was rising in a crescendo with the raging wind and rumbling thunder of the world outside. But they were in their own universe, their own sphere, and it was as though no other time had ever existed for either, no other life, nor love. They moved into each other’s arms as fluidly as the tide touches the shore, lips meeting in a searing kiss. The passion was ignited, and they each silently acknowledged that there would be no turning back.

Bryan lowered her to the cool coral ledge, and as his tongue explored her mouth, his hands likewise traveled over her body, slowly, savoring each curve and valley, delighting in all that he had coveted for so very long.

Jade gave of herself freely, yielding to his touch. Her hands clutched his shoulders, smoothly dancing across his skin to hold him against her closely, wordlessly assuring him that she was no longer afraid, no longer unsure. Then he was nimbly unfastening her dress to slide the bodice down to expose her breasts. He lowered his head, and she burrowed her fingers into the thick golden hair at the back of his head as his lips parted to take the rosebud nipple between his teeth. She moaned, writhed beneath his gentle assault.

His hand began to travel downward, trailing to part her throbbing thighs and explore the warm moisture of the nucleus of her womanhood. Fire licked at her veins as she responded to his touch without inhibition.

He tore himself from her breasts to hungrily reclaim her mouth, near bruising her lips with his urgency. Jade clutched him, clawed at his back. His clothing was the only barrier between them—an intolerable separation. With quick and eager fingers, she helped him from his garments, their breath coming in steaming gasps, bodies shuddering in a blend of torturous agony and ecstasy. Stretching out over her, he fitted the gentle curves of her body against his. She could feel him, knew he wanted her as fervently as she wanted him. She felt him probing, tensed at the unfamiliar violation, then huskily urged him on with the undulations of her body.

Outside the coral cave, the storm was abating. The winds and seas were calming. The waves quieted their angry crashing against the beach; instead, lovingly caressing with a whisper of foam upon the pink sand.

Within the coral cave, a storm of passion between two previously tormented souls was also abating. They had reached the magic pinnacle together, crested as the heart of a storm, then cruised softly, gently, back to the world from which they’d departed for long, frenzied, delightful, and satisfying moments.

Bryan rolled to his side, taking her with him to hold tightly, possessively, against his chest. “I love you,” he avowed in a hoarse, ragged whisper. “I think I loved you the minute I laid eyes on you. Fate brought us together.”

Jade pressed her face against his perspiration-slick chest and did not, could not, speak. She was too confused, too overcome with the wonder and perplexity of the moment.

“Marry me!”

It was almost like a command, so sharply spoken that Jade was abruptly brought back to reality. Twisting her head so she could see his face in the gentle shadows of the sunlight now invading their private sanctum, she searched his face for an answer she knew she would not find there.

“I’ll make you happier than you ever dreamed possible, Jade,” he recklessly declared. “I’ll build you a new house, a palace, one that you can design yourself, if you want. Closer to people. Hamilton, if you want. Anywhere on the island. You’ll live like a queen, I swear it.”

He lowered his head, intending to bestow a sealing kiss, but she turned away. She did not want to be kissed. Not now. The passion had subsided, for the hunger had been fed, and, in place of the whirlwind of ecstasy and anticipation there existed only a nagging void of doubt and uncertainty.

“Jade, why are you afraid of me?” Bryan asked quietly. “You know I’d never do anything to hurt you. You know I’d spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy. We’ve both lost the ones we loved, but now we’ve found each other, and we’ve got a chance to love again, live again, if only you’ll let go of the past and let it happen.”

“Time…” She mouthed the word against his skin as he lovingly stroked her long red-gold hair. “I need time, Bryan, please.”

He sucked in his breath raggedly, let it out slowly and reluctantly said all right, he understood, or at least he would pretend to. “Just tell me that you love me,” he urged softly. “Tell me that you care for me, and I’ll have that much to cling to while I’m waiting for you to let go of the ghost.”

She looked inside herself, knew without long meditation that she did care, and told him so, adding, “But I’m not sure it’s enough. I’m not sure I can ever love any man the way I loved Colt.”

At once, he reached to cup her chin in his hand and force her to meet his searing gaze. “Listen to me,” he said thickly, fiercely. “I’m not asking you to love me the same way you loved Colt, goddammit, because I’ll never love you in quite the same way I loved Marnia. Notice I said ‘in quite the same way’…that has nothing to do with how much Marnia and Colt were other people who lived in another time. All I’m asking from you is that you try to love me in your own special way, the way I love you. Let’s make our own memories, Jade, not try to live in the old ones.”

She trembled in his embrace. She did love him, in her own special way, but was it enough to commit to marriage? “Time,” she pleaded, her voice barely audible as a lump welled in her throat. “Just give me time to know my heart, Bryan. Please.”

He nodded slowly, then got to his feet and began to dress. He left her to straighten her own clothes, saying he was going to check on the boat. By the time she was dressed, about to make her way down the rocks from the ledge, he was back, a grim expression on his face. “Hate to tell you this,” he said, reaching out to help her down, “but the storm washed the boat out to sea. I can barely see it on the horizon.”

Jade felt no real fright, reasoning that when night came and they didn’t return, Pauly and Amelia would become alarmed and send out a search party. They were even in sight of the island, albeit distant.

They went outside into that special cool air that seems to come only after a sudden, bitter storm. The smell of the ocean was sweet, and it looked calm, docile, in the lazy afternoon sunshine. All that was left of the thundering black clouds were skittering far, far away.

Bryan reached for her hand and she took his, and they stood for long, pensive moments staring toward the edge of the Earth, where sea met sky, where home and boat were mere specks.

“There’s not even a dry place to sit down,” Bryan said wearily, looking about helplessly.

“We’ve got the cave,” Jade reminded him.

“Okay. You go in there, and I’ll stay out here ready to wave if I see a boat. How’s that?”

She hesitated. It hardly seemed fair, but before she could say that she was willing to stay outside and do her part, Bryan murmured that maybe they both needed some time just then to be alone. She agreed, but silently, and so turned and walked toward the cave without further conversation.

Back inside, she lay down on the dry ledge, her arm under her head. She closed her eyes and attempted once more to sort out her feelings. But the excitement of the day had made her weary, and sleep came quickly…as did the dream.

She was back on the ship, back in the storm, on the deck, clinging desperately to the railing above the swirling black waters. It was all happening again, and she could see Colt in the doorway of the cabin, calling to her, about to make his way to her, arms outstretched. Then he slipped, fell, and the crate careened toward him. She screamed as he was struck in the head, and there was a split second when she saw the blood, his eyes open wide in agony and horror. Then a wave washed up and over him as the crate crashed through the railing, taking her to the hungrily waiting sea below. But there the reality became the dream, for it was as though she could look back to the ship and see Colt, only he was not lying in a pool of blood, dead. He was calling to her, reaching out to her from a deep black void. She struggled to get to him, but each time their outstretched fingertips were about to meet, an invisible force would pull them apart with a sickening upward lurch. Around and around, a wild wind would take each of them, bringing them tantalizingly close, only to rip them far apart before they could touch.

She woke herself screaming, sat upright as Bryan swung up on the ledge. She burrowed her face in her hands and let the tears come in great convulsing sobs. Dear God, it had been so real…so terribly, heartbreakingly real. She had seen his dear face, seen the strong, abiding love in the warm gray eyes she adored…could feel the softness of his breath upon her flesh just before invisible demons tore them apart. It had been the first time she had dreamed he was alive, and the experience left her deeply shaken.

She went into Bryan’s arms willingly, but at that moment of desperation recognized that she would have allowed the embrace of anyone offering solace.

“My God, Jade, what’s wrong?” He gave her a gentle shake, held her away from him. He’d never seen her quite this upset. “Tell me, what happened?”

She shook her head, pulled away from his hold. “A nightmare. That’s all. A nightmare. I’ll be all right. I’m sorry…”

“Don’t think about it. You’re awake, with me. It’s over.” He motioned for her to allow him to help her down from the ledge. “Come on. We’re in luck. Pauly got concerned when the storm came, so he was down on the pier looking for us, and he saw the sailboat going out to sea, figured what had happened, even figured where we’d gone, because he remembered Marnia liked to come here.”

She pushed down the dredges of the bad dream, gratefully breathed, “He found us!”

“He’s down at the beach. He signaled for help, borrowed a boat. Let’s go.”

He put his arm around her, drew her close as they walked out of the cave. “Whatever it was that upset you so, it was just a dream, princess. Remember that. What we shared earlier was real…and wonderful. Dwell on that, and the happy thoughts will overshadow the bad ones.” He kissed her gently.

She accepted his lips, then turned her head away. What he said might make sense, she rationalized, except for one thing—dreaming that Colt was actually alive was not a bad thought.

Chapter Fifteen

There was a knoll on Bryan Stevens’ private island that overlooked the ocean and was the highest point of the terrain. The bank sloping back and inland was covered with such a profusion of wildflowers that there was seldom a time of year when colorful blossoms were not abundant. On the side facing the ocean, jutting chunks of coral could be seen glowing like trapped sunshine in the midst of the foamy turquoise water that swirled in rhythm with the sea.

Jade found the spot to be the most beautiful on the island, even more lovely than the isolated cove which Bryan favored. It was to this place she had begun to make a pilgrimage twice each day. At sunrise, with its glorious creations of pink and rose and salmon and silver, she could look toward Europe and her memories there, both fond and sad. At sunset, when the western sky was a gradual explosion of brilliant, gorgeous hues of crimson, saffron, magenta, burnt orange, she would gaze toward America, where she’d focused so many hopes and dreams.

In between her visits, she spent her time attempting to adjust to the place that had become her home…and the endless struggle to sort out the complexity of her life.

It had been nearly two weeks since the memorable picnic, and the dreams of Colt being alive had come to her every single night. They were so vivid, so real. She had even been able to touch him, hold him, kiss him. Then, when she awakened, she cried because she was awake and wished to sleep forever if it meant being with him. Oddly, that feeling did not last long once she was alert, fully awake. She would be aware of her environment, enjoy her day with Bryan; until night came and the dream returned, she was content.

Her times with Bryan after their intimate encounter had not been strained. She had not nurtured guilt or regrets and had enjoyed the passion they shared. When he had come to her room the next night, she had gone into his arms willingly, eagerly, and they had lam together till nearly dawn. Then he had returned to his own quarters, so that when Pauly came to bring him his early morning coffee, he would not find his bed empty. They could not risk having the servants gossiping, for there was enough speculation on the mainland as it was about their relationship. If it were known they were sharing a bed, they would be ruined socially.