Love and Lies (12 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY

Thunderous laughter woke me. Not quite ready to get out of bed, I kept my eyes closed in hopes my body would understand the trick and fall back asleep. Logan's voice came through the door. Since I only heard one side of the conversation, I assumed he was on the phone. Red lights from the alarm clock next to the bed flashed nine o’clock p.m. Ugh, I'd slept the day away. My stomach growled, forcing me to get my lazy butt out of bed.

In
the sitting area, a box of half-eaten pizza sat on the table in front of the couch. “Vegetable and hamburger. Not really what I was hoping to eat for dinner.” I wrinkled my nose at the box. After sleeping all day and the travel, eating greasy, carb-loaded food wasn't appealing.

Logan said a quick goodbye to whomever he was talking to then pushed off the couch
. “I'll take you to get something.” He looked over his shoulder at me while putting on his jacket. “You might want to grab a coat. It cooled off quite a bit while you slept.”

“Are we walking?”

“
Sure. I think I saw a diner down the street. If not, we'll grab something downstairs.”

We walked through the streets of San Francisco
, enjoying a little sight seeing. Logan was more familiar with the area than I was, so he knew which buildings and hot spots to point out. But there weren't any restaurants open that I wanted to eat at, so we decided room service was a better idea and headed back to the hotel.

“What do you want?” he asked just after the door clicked shut. He tossed his jacket over a chair before picking up the room service portfolio off the desk.

“
Probably just a salad.” I snatched the menu from his hand. “Let me see what they have.”

After Logan and I made our selections
, I called and placed the order. “They said it'd be at least fifteen minutes. Turn on the TV. I’m going to look for something to watch.”

“
Do you want to call Alec or Eric and let them know we've made it into town?”

I didn't answer immediately, for whatever reason I hadn't slept long enough and my head
fell to the back of the couch.

“
Carissa?”

“
What? No, I'll call Alec later. Eric already sent me a text. He knows we made it.” I lifted my head to look at Logan. “Unless you want to call Alec.”

“
Nah, you can when you're ready.” He settled in next to me and snatched the remote from between my fingers then flipped through TV channels. I wasn't paying attention, and he stopped on some old western on AMC.

“Why are you staring at me? And what the hell is that on TV? I may be tired, but I'm not an idiot, Logan. I know you aren't watching whatever movie you stopped on.”

“
Yeah, you're right. I'm not watching this. It's some stupid western.”

I rubbed my eyes with my heel of my hands.
“Where's my food? I'm hungry.”

Perfect timing
—room service knocked on the door. “I'll get it,” he said as he stood from the couch and went to greet the server.

“
Thanks.”

He held the door open while the server pushed a cart in and set up our meals on the table. Logan and I
moved to the table to eat after everything had been laid out.

“
Carissa, are you in love with Eric?”

The question came from out of nowhere
, and I choked on my bite of salad . Logan patted my back in an attempt to help dislodge the piece of lettuce stuck in my throat.

“
I'm sorry, what did you just ask me?”

“
I said—”

“
I heard you, Logan. You just surprised me. What does it matter if I love him or not? Besides, why does anyone love another?”

He
hasn’t asked the why of it, just whether or not I did. Diverting to a reason was better than actually answering his question. Besides, this trip wasn't supposed to be about Eric. Alec said I needed to go to get away from things. Discussing my feelings for the man who kept me constantly guessing and rethinking what I thought I wanted was far from getting away.

“
It doesn’t matter, I guess. But the way he looks at you…it’s obvious he loves you. What if you don’t feel the same way? Where does that leave your relationship?”

“
We've got some stuff to work out. Why do you suppose I didn't fight that hard about coming here? I'm taking some time to figure out everything that's going on. But to answer your question about our relationship, it’s none of your business.”

“
Look, I'm sorry. I just wondered, well. You know...”

“
Umm, no I don't know. What are you trying to say, Logan? You know what? Maybe it's time to call Alec and let him know everything's cool. I think I'll get my own room tonight.”

“
You don't have to do that.”

“
Yes, I do. Don't worry about it. I'll pay for it. Staying in the same room wasn't the best idea.”

I went to the bedroom and called Alec. When I finished answering his questions and assuring him I was having fun, I scooted off the bed. Logan leaned against the
doorjamb, holding a key out to me.

“Here ya go. You're in room 625. It's right down the hall. If you need anything, call me. I don't care what time it is.” He handed me the card as I reached for my bag. Logan grabbed my bag off the floor. “No, I'll carry this for you.”

“
Thank you.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Alec stood in front of me, clicking his tongue and shaking his head.

“You shouldn't have provoked him. Now he's going to be all over you, just like Igor.” I shook my head violently and doubled over in pain. My arms clutched my stomach as the muscles knotted so tight I wanted to throw up. No. Eric wasn't Igor. He wouldn't do the same thing. But Alec said he would. He said I provoked him. What had I done? As hard as I tried, I couldn't remember doing anything.

Eric walked through my bedroom door
, laughing. But the sound wasn't the pleasant sound I was used to. This one was evil, creepy. Igor's laugh. I looked to see that I'd dressed in the same bikini I'd tried on at the department store on that day.

The scream that ripped from my throat had me sitting straight up in bed.

“Are you okay? What's wrong?”

I glanced around the room, not sure of where I was. Logan stood at the end of the bed, his hands clenched by his side. What was he doing here? Finally, my thoughts cleared enough I remembered where I was. But this was supposed to be my room, Logan had his own.

“What are you doing in my room? Sorry, I was dreaming.”

“
It's okay. You scared me when you screamed. I brought breakfast, well, I guess lunch now.”

I uncovered and swung my feet over the side of the bed.

“I've been in the other room all day.”

“
How did you get in my...oh yeah, technically it's your room. Why did you let me sleep so late? Again. We could have gone out and enjoyed the city. Now we only have time to get ready for the concert.”

“
You were tired, and I didn't want to bother you.”

“
Where's my phone?” My nightmare wouldn't go away. While Logan talked, all I could concentrate on was the sound of Eric's voice and the way he eyed my bathing suit. It was Igor all over again, except in Eric's body. Truly my worst nightmare.

Logan walked to the bedside table and lifted my phone off the top before handing it to me
“Here. You should relax. I've already talked to Alec today. Call him if it will make you feel better, though.”

“You never answered my question. What were you doing in my room?”

“
I'm sorry I didn't wake you up sooner. I don't know why I came over here. It was quiet in my room, and I wanted to make sure you were okay after last night. Look, I'll go back to mine and wait for you to get ready. Carissa, what's wrong? Why are you crying?”

I rubbed my eyes, surprised to feel the wet moisture of tears.
“I'm not crying. It's all good. Go get ready.” I shooed Logan out of my room.

After a quick shower, quick to my standards anyway, I went to the main room to get my suitcase. Logan sat on the
couch with his feet propped on one end and his head on the other. The remote dangled from his fingers.

“
What are you doing?” I asked.

“
I decided to stay here. I did make a promise to Alec to make sure you were okay.”

“
That’s bullshit, and you know it.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll go.”

“Might as well stay. It won’t take me long to get ready. But don’t do it again.” I pulled the towel wrapped under my arms tighter. The last thing I needed was for Logan to see me naked. It'd be uncomfortable for us, and if Eric ever found out…well, I didn't want to know what he'd do to Logan.

With my bag in hand
, I went to the bedroom and shut the door behind me. I needed to finish dressing then call Alec and Eric. Both of them would need to calm me down. Even if they didn't want to.

Alec was lucky number one.

“Carissa, why are you calling me when you should be on your way to the concert?”

“
Don't lecture me, Alec. I need you to tell me I'm not crazy.”

“
But you are crazy. Why would I lie to you?”

His laughter helped to calm my still frazzled nerves. I hadn't had nightmares about Igor since shortly after we arrived in
Luling, which made this one that much worse.

“
Please. I'm not above begging for your comfort right now.”

“
What's going on? I'll be serious and listen.”

I retold my dream. Alec murmured occasionally and tsked a couple of times. It wasn't a long story, but it felt like it took hours to share it. I glanced at the clock while I waited for him to say something. The minutes
dwindled down. At this rate, I'd never be ready in time, and I still had to call Eric.

“
Alec?”

“
Sorry. I was thinking. The only answer here is that you need to find a counselor as soon as you get back. You've had these nightmares before, haven't you?”

“
Yes. But not like this, never with someone else in them. Right after it happened, I dreamed about Igor almost every night. Waking up sweating and crying happened so often I started sleeping with a box of tissues and towel next to my bed. Annabelle never asked, and I never offered an explanation to my muffled screams or tears.”

“
That doesn't surprise me. You have to go now. It's not good for you to push this away and not deal with it. If you don't get help, you'll never truly be able to move past what happened.”

I let out a sigh. Alec wasn't he
lping, but I knew he was right.

“
Okay. I'll go. I promise. Now can you give me something to cheer me up?”

“
Hmmm. That I can do.” Alec told me a story about he and Sean. Sure enough it worked, I was laughing until my eyes leaked happy tears. Thank God for good friends.

“
Thank you, Alec. I've got to call Eric and get ready.”

“
Why are you calling Eric?”

“
Same reason I called you. I need him to know, and I want his help. I love you, but if Eric is going to be part of my nightmares, then talking to him is probably a good idea. There's no point in trying to change my mind, I'm going to do this.”

“
No, no. You're right. Call him and have fun at the concert. I love you, baby girl.”

“
I will. Love you too. Bye, Alec.”

Ten minutes later
, Eric and I disconnected. He'd told me the same as Alec and made me promise again to find a counselor as soon as I got home. Eric apologized for hurting me, even when I was half a country away and dreaming. Guilt made my knees weak, so I took some time to gather my composure before I finished getting ready. By the time I walked out of the bathroom, the clock read a half hour before we needed to leave.

“
Did you call Alec?” Logan asked as soon as I made my way back to the sitting room.

“
Yeah, I was hoping he'd help me pick out something to wear.”

“
That's all you talked about?”

Nope. We talked about something completely different, but Logan didn't need the details of my nightmare, nor did I want to tell him the Igor story.

“Yeah, I think so. We didn't talk...oh, sorry for yelling earlier.”

“
It's okay. I startled you, and I wasn't supposed to be here. It's my fault. Honestly, with as many times as I’ve screwed up since we arrived yesterday, I’m surprised you haven’t demanded I take you home and say screw the concert.”

“Oh
, I’ve thought about it. But we’re friends, and we’ve both apologized. Let’s not forget, I really do want to go to the concert. Just be glad I’m using that as an apology for acting like an asshole.”

“
I am. Trust me.”

I sat on the couch and set my makeup mirror on the coffee table.
The sitting area had the best lighting in the room. Beside me, Logan snickered and coughed to try and cover it up. Being friends made it easier to fight and make up—all the more reason I’d kept things platonic between us. I didn’t want the drama Logan could bring.

“
What?”

“
Nothing.” He coughed again. “I mean, it's just funny watching you. I've never paid attention to a girl when she's putting on makeup. Do you always stick out your tongue like that?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” My grin belied my words though
, and Logan laughed again.

“Liar. It’s cute though.”

“You ready to go?” I stuck my tongue out at Logan and stood up from the chair.

“Yeah, let's go.”

* * *
*

I looked over Logan's shoulder in an attempt to figure out what the hold up was. The mass of people congregating around the entrance was insane.
The number of people waiting to get in was even more astounding than those already inside.

Logan, who now stood just in front of me
, gasped. “Wow! This is one hell of a crowd. What are we waiting for? Let's go.” He was giddy with excitement. Back at school his band performed a lot of Blue Monkeys covers. I couldn't help but smile.

As we walked through the gates
, I caught a peek at the bouncer standing with black pants and a black shirt on, his arms crossed over his chest. The hairs on my arms stood on end. It wasn't until Logan gently wrapped his hand around my arm and pulled me through the gate that I unfroze. There was something about the way he stood that frightened me. Images of Igor flashed through my head.

Logan rubbed my arm when I shivered.
“What? Are you cold?”

“
Nuh uh.”

Logan's hand rested on my arm, but the bouncer put me on alert. After my dream and this guy, I didn't want Logan to let go. I wished Eric was there. He'd know just what to say to calm me down. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

“Okay, what should we do? You wanna go watch the band or get something to take home?”

Logan's hand slowly made its way down my arm. As much as I needed the contact, I still didn't want to give him the wrong idea. My thoughts were on Eric and the scary bouncer, not
him.

“
Let's find somewhere to sit for a few minutes.” I looked around for an empty spot. They were few and far between. Finally, I eyed one on the edge of the stage area. “How about over there?”

“
That works. You lead the way.” Logan fell in behind me while I wound through the droves of people.

When we neared the spot, I stopped and watched the first band warm up while Logan weaved around people and caught up. As soon as he did
, I took a few more steps forward, sat down on the grass, and leaned back on my hands to take in some sun.

“
Do you want anything?” Logan asked from above me.

“
Sure, water would be good.” I squinted from the sun. If he was offering, why not take him up on it? Some alone time would be good anyway.

The show was so much better for people watching than
New Orleans. I liked sitting back and observing human nature. It was something I’d done a lot from my bedroom window in our apartment on the Upper East Side of New York. I remembered being little and wishing I knew how to draw. That was when I knew I shared my dad's passion of art, but not in the same way. I wanted to draw them, Dad dressed them. Now I was getting the chance to fulfill my dream. I drew not for their clothing, but to see their expressions. To feel the emotions come off the paper. There was so much to discover in a simple pencil and paper drawing. New Orleans had wonderful settings, as well as an eclectic group of locals interspersed with tourists. I spent hours sitting on a bench on the river walk, pad and pencil in hand using people as inspiration.

This park was full of motivation, sending my muse into a frenzy. I catalogued the different shades of pinks, blues, and oranges.

When hands rested softly on my shoulders I snapped around. “What?”

Logan smirked, his
ocean blues lingering just above my head. “Let's go walk around. I wanna see what they have here.”