Love At Last (Lily's Story, Book 3) (3 page)

Her face softened. “John and I would like to invite you to move in with us.”

My eyes widened at the unexpected invitation, but I quickly settled down. “That’s very generous of you, Marcy, but Natalie and I are quite happy where we are.”

“You said it yourself, Lily. John and I are Natalie’s only grandparents. And my other two boys, Scott and Chris, and their families, are the only other family you have. Don’t you think it would be wonderful if Natalie could be raised among family?”

What she said was true, and the thought of Natalie not knowing her cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles very well made me feel selfish and guilty, but I’d made a life for us in the little house that we rented. Plus there was Marcus. Inwardly, I smiled as I thought about the man I was falling in love with. I couldn’t leave him. If I did, then I was certain our relationship would progress no further than friendship—and even that would be in jeopardy if I moved over seven hours away.

“Of course I want Natalie to know her family,” I said, wanting to prove to Marcy that I was a good mother, that I considered what was best for my child. “But I can’t ask you to house us.”

She held one hand out to encompass the room. “We have plenty of space here. And then you could save your money.”

How could I convince her that I didn’t want to move there without hurting her feelings? She’d been through enough heartache with the loss of Trevor. I didn’t want to add to it. “I have enough money to support us. I’ve started a web design business and I already have a few clients in my town.”

She smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. You could run your business from here though, couldn’t you?” She paused. “What if you just moved to this area? You wouldn’t have to live with us.”

I held back a frown.

“What’s keeping you where you are, Lily?”

Marcus
. But of course I couldn’t tell her that. I was certain she would disapprove of me having a male friend so soon after Trevor’s death. Not only that, I felt confident she would feel hurt to think of another man being like a father to Natalie. My voice came out in a whisper. “I like where we live.”

Marcy’s brow furrowed. “Doesn’t it bother you to live in the house where Trevor was . . . killed?” Her eyes filled with tears on the last word.

That house had been my refuge long before Trevor showed up, and soon after his death I’d determined not to let the bad things he’d brought with him keep me from loving my little home. “I try not to think about that night, Marcy.”

Tears spilled over her lashes and cascaded down her face. “I think about it all the time.”

Seeing her tears made the tears I’d held back push their way into my eyes. Nothing I could do would stop them and soon I was sniffling along with her. “I’m so sorry about the way things turned out,” I cried.

Natalie must have sensed the sad feelings in the room because she began fussing. I took her from Marcy and snuggled her close, which settled her down.

“Lily, I want you to know that I don’t blame you for what happened.”

Relief swept over me at her words. “Thank you.” I took a tissue out of my purse and wiped my eyes and nose.

Marcy’s tears had slowed and she took a handkerchief out of her pocket and wiped her face. “But I think it’s only fair to warn you that not everyone agrees with me.”

My heart began to pound. “What do you mean?”

“Trevor’s brothers are still feeling pretty angry about everything that happened.”

“Do they think it’s my fault?”

She frowned. “I’m not sure exactly. I think they’re just having a hard time knowing their brother was killed.” She hesitated. “By your dog.” She quickly went on. “And I worry about that dog around Natalie. Do you really think that’s the best idea? She could be dangerous.”

“Greta was protecting me. Trevor was strangling me and I would have
died
.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I wished I hadn’t said them. Marcy’s face had gone pale—even the rosy red of her lips had turned white. “I’m sorry,” I said, my voice softer. “But it’s true.”

She stood, and shaking her head, she fled the room.

Stricken to know my words had cut her to the bone, I felt paralyzed. I hugged Natalie as my mind raced. Should I go to her? Should I flee this house and this town and never come back? And if things had started out so nice, and turned bad so quickly, what would it be like with the rest of Trevor’s family? Especially his brothers who apparently held me responsible for their brother’s death?

“We should go,” I whispered in Natalie’s ear. I picked up her diaper bag and slung it over my shoulder, then headed for the door.

“Wait,” Marcy said from the hallway. “Please don’t go.”

I spun around, my heart racing. “It was a mistake to come here. It’s too soon.”

Marcy hurried over to me and grabbed my arm. “No. Please. Give us a chance.”

I turned to her, and when I saw the pleading in her eyes, my resolve slipped. How would I feel if I was her? Of course I’d want to get to know my grandchild, especially if my own child was dead. My shoulders slumped in acquiescence. “Okay.”

She put her arm around me and led me back to the living room. “Thank you, Lily. You have no idea what this means to me. To our family.”

I let her lead me back to the couch and I sat down and Natalie began fussing again. “I think she’s getting hungry.”

“Okay. What do you need?”

I smiled. “I just need to nurse her.”

Marcy smiled back. “I’ll give you some privacy then.”

I watched her leave, then I nursed Natalie and soon she fell asleep. I gazed at my precious daughter and watched her eyelids flutter and wondered what she was dreaming about.

“I borrowed a port-a-crib from a friend,” Marcy said as she walked in the room. “Do you want to put her down?”

I nodded and followed her to the room where I’d stayed before. I placed Natalie in the crib and tucked her favorite blanket around her, then tiptoed out of the room and closed the door.
 

A short time later John came home, and he was as nice as Marcy had been, and I felt better about my decision to stay. When I went to bed that night, I thought about the last time I’d slept in that bed. It had been the night before Trevor and I had married—which was less than a year and a half earlier. If I had known then what I knew now, would I have gone through with it? As I listened to the soft breathing of my sweet baby in the crib nearby, I had to admit that all I’d been through was worth it because I had her.

The next day Trevor’s brothers and their families would be coming over and I was worried about how the day would go. Would they be friendly to me, or would they be openly hostile? I had a hard time falling asleep as my mind conjured up ugly scenes with Chris and Scott. I’d spent so little time with them that they’d never gotten the chance to know me in happy circumstances. Would that keep them from giving me a chance now? And if so, would that keep Natalie from getting to know her cousins?

Chapter Three

Shortly before lunch Scott arrived with his family. His wife, Deena, gave me a warm hug.

“It’s so good to see you again,” she said as she smiled at me. Then she looked at Natalie, who I held in my arms. “Can I hold her?”

“Sure.” I handed her over and Deena held her close.

“Oooh, I just love babies,” she cooed.

“Uh oh,” Scott said. “Don’t get any ideas now.” I looked at Trevor’s oldest brother and saw a slight resemblance, but remembered that Chris looked more like Trevor than Scott did.
 

I smiled at him and was surprised by the friendliness he showed me. Maybe Marcy had been exaggerating a bit.
 

He pulled me into a hug, then released me. “It’s been a while.”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Well, I’m glad you could come.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

Scott went to help his Dad with the barbecue while the kids played in the pool. The temperature was well over a hundred degrees—closer to a hundred and ten—and I decided to keep Natalie in the air-conditioned house. I helped Marcy with the side dishes while Deena held Natalie, and we all chatted companionably.

Just before the barbecue was ready, Chris and Melody and their two boys arrived. The boys raced out to the pool, but when I saw Chris I nearly gasped. For some reason I hadn’t remembered how much Chris and Trevor looked alike—maybe because when I’d been here before I’d only had eyes for Trevor. But now, seeing Chris, my emotions were in a whirl as memories of Trevor—good and bad—rushed through my mind, and my heartache at all that had happened intensified.
 

How I wish Trevor was here now, and we were a happy family.
 

I watched as Chris greeted his mother, then hugged Deena. When he completely ignored me, I felt hurt—everyone else had been so kind.

“You remember Lily, don’t you, Chris?” Marcy said.

How could he forget me? He probably blames me for Trevor’s death
. “Hi.” I smiled, trying to thaw the air that now felt frozen.

He glanced at me, then looked at his mother. “Where’s Dad and Scott?”

Marcy frowned. “Outside.”

He walked past me and out the door to the backyard.

Melody walked up to me and gave me a hug. “Hi, Lily.”

I hugged her back, wondering if she felt the same as her husband. Of course it wasn’t her baby brother who had died. “It’s good to see you, Melody.”

She pulled back and smiled. “You, too.” Then she turned to Deena and held out her arms toward Natalie. “My turn.”

Deena laughed and handed Natalie over, and the tension in the room dissipated.

I glanced at Marcy and she looked sad, but I didn’t know what to say, so I kept quiet. A few minutes later John called everyone outside to eat. Deena and I helped Marcy carry out the side dishes, then we all sat around a table with a large shade over it. I looked at Chris and noticed him staring at me, but when our eyes met, he looked away. Sadness and guilt washed over me, but then Natalie started fussing in Melody’s arms.
 

I walked over to Melody, who sat next to Chris, and took Natalie from her. As I walked away I heard Chris murmur to Melody, “Why did she have to come anyway?”

Then I heard Melody shush him.

I just have to get through today, I told myself. Then I’ll leave first thing in the morning. I sat down and ate as best as I could while holding a baby, and listened to the conversation around me.

“Let me take her,” Marcy offered halfway through the meal. “I’m finished eating.”

I handed Natalie off and continued eating.

“So, Lily,” Scott said.

I looked at him, my fork halfway to my mouth.

“Mom tells me you’re considering moving to Vegas.”

Before I could even answer, Chris shouted, “What?!”

My face reddened at Chris’s obvious unhappiness with such an idea. I set my fork down. “No, I’m not moving anywhere.”

“That’s good,” Chris said under his breath, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Chris,” his dad warned.

“Come on, Dad,” Chris said. “We talked about this. No one wants her living here, reminding us every day of what she did.”

Melody put her hand on Chris’s shoulder and whispered something to him, but he just pushed her hand away and shook his head.

Mortified, I pushed back from the table, grabbed Natalie from Marcy’s arms, and rushed inside. I hurried into the room where I’d slept, lay Natalie on the bed, and shoved my things into my suitcase.

“Not everyone feels like that, Lily.” John stood in the doorway with Marcy by his side.

I turned and looked at them. I shook my head and continued gathering our things, not able to speak through a throat swollen with unshed tears. Then I slung Natalie’s diaper bag over one shoulder, along with my purse, scooped up my baby, then stood there with my back to the door, knowing I couldn’t carry everything by myself.

I coughed to clear my throat and turned around to face Trevor’s parents. “I appreciate your hospitality, but it’s time for me to go.”

Marcy stepped toward me. “Please, don’t leave.”

I shook my head. “No. I need to go.”

She must have seen the look of determination on my face, because she stared at me a moment, then nodded. “I understand.”

“Thank you.”

She looked at her husband. “John, can you get the suitcase?”

“Of course.” He grabbed the handle and lifted the bag.

“May I hold Natalie again?” Marcy asked.

I let her take Natalie and we walked toward the front door. As we passed through the kitchen, I could hear the conversation outside—someone had left the sliding glass door open—and I clearly heard Chris say, “She’s leaving, huh? Things get too tough, so she just leaves. Typical.”

I pretended like I didn’t hear and walked to the front door, then out to my car. John helped me load my things into my car, then I took Natalie from Marcy.

“I hope you’ll come visit again,” Marcy said.

“Maybe.” John and Marcy had been nothing but kind, so maybe if it was just them it would be okay.

Marcy pulled me into a hug. When she let me go, John hugged me too. I put Natalie in her car seat and turned back to them. “Bye.”

They waved and I climbed into the hot car and turned on the engine, turning the air-conditioner on full-blast, then we pulled away from the curb. As we drove away, I glanced in my rear-view mirror and saw Marcy wiping a tear off of her cheek, and felt guilt slice through me that I was leaving so soon. But Chris clearly didn’t want me there and I felt like I was intruding on their family party. It was better if I left, I told myself, and I was just glad I’d decided to drive so that I could leave when I needed to.

By the time Natalie and I reached home, it was late, but I was thrilled to see my house as I pulled up the gravel driveway. Then I saw Marcus’s jeep parked out front and remembered that, at my insistence, he’d agreed to stay at the house while I was away.

Natalie stayed asleep as I lifted her from her car seat and carried her to the front door. Just as I reached the door, it opened and I saw a smiling Marcus there to greet me. His welcoming face was just what I needed after the long day I’d had, and I felt warmth toward him surge within me. He held the door open and I walked in. Greta came right to me, but he held her back as my hands were full with Natalie.