Love in Independence (Holiday Mail Order Brides) (10 page)

They stared at each other, and then …

The kiss was warm, gentle, beautiful. How it happened, why it happened, she didn’t know, but happen it did; but all too soon, it was over. They opened their eyes at the same time and gazed at each other, their breath still mingling. Luke tried to speak but couldn’t. She watched him struggle to the point where he had to press his lips together to get control. “I’m so sorry. So very sorry. I am the worst of …” he swallowed hard. “ … hypocrites.”

“Hypocrite
s?” she whispered back.

“I’ve taken a liberty that
I never should have …”

She put a finger
on his lips to still them, and shook her head. “Stop.”

He hung his head. “I promise it will never happen again.
” He pushed himself up off the settee and hurried back into the kitchen. Winnie stared after him like a stupefied child. She let her eyes wander to the twins, who were staring at her and smiling.  “Well, I’m glad the two of you enjoyed it.”

* * *

Luke went down the center hall, through the kitchen, and out the back door. As soon as he was outside, he gritted his teeth and groaned. “What are you doing, Adams?” he hissed at himself. Indeed, what
was
he doing? He hadn’t seriously thought about courting anyone since Molly died. He was too busy, for one, and for another … Luke stepped over to a well-worn tree stump and sat. There was no
other
anything. Except …

“Oh
, no; not that …” he turned and looked over his shoulder at the house. He’d thought was immune to loneliness and the steel grip it with which it often held men’s hearts. Had it somehow grabbed his, and he hadn’t realized it? He shook his head in resignation.

Yes.

He took a deep breath. He was going to have to go in there and face Winnie. What would she think of him now? He was supposed to be a man of God, a pillar of the community, and what does he do? Kiss his new assistant!

Luke groaned again, louder this time, and rubbed a hand over his face.

“What’s
ailin’ ya, Pastor?”

Luke spun on his wooden perch. Gabe was standing right behind him. He gave the boy a lopsided smile. “Did you ever do something you wish you hadn’t?”

Gabe gave him a quizzical look. “Lots of times.” He peered at Luke, his eyes intent on his face. “So, what did ya do?”

Luke grimaced. “Never mind
; you don’t need to know.”

“Pa says it’s only bad if you regret it.”

Luke stared at him. Did he regret kissing Winnie?
Oh, dear Lord.
Nope!

“Well?” Gabe asked. “Do ya?”

Luke eyed him, and shook his head.

“Well, then it ain’t a bad thing, so long as it didn’t hurt somebody
else. If’n it hurts another, then that’s not so good.”

Luke eyed him. “How old are you?”

“Almost ten.”

“Add twenty years
to that my young friend; you’re wiser than you look.”

Gabe screwed
up his face. “Huh?”

Luke laughed.
“Never mind. Let’s go see if we can help with supper.” He stood, mussed the boy’s brown hair, and headed back to the kitchen. He didn’t regret that kiss and, the more he thought about it, the more he was inclined to want to do it again.

Ten

By the time Luke and Gabe entered the kitchen, Winnie was mixing up the dough for biscuits. He looked her right in the eye as he entered, causing her to blush a furious red. They would have to talk, of course; but now was not the time.  The children were filing into the room, hunger their only thought.

“When’s supper?” Lily asked. “Is Ma coming down?”

“Why don’t you go up and check on her?” Winnie suggested. “Supper will be ready as soon as the biscuits are done.”

“Are you going to live here?” Eldon asked.

Winnie smiled. “No; I’m afraid I can’t.”

“Why not?” asked Lily.

“Because I …” she looked at Luke, and he offered her a tender smile, one intended to mend whatever his kiss might have caused between them. He sensed she was wary of him now or, could it be she was more wary of herself. “… live in town,” she finished.

“I like how it smells in here,” said Lily. “What you make us?”

Winnie’s eyes were locked on his own. “Soup,” she said in a soft voice.

Unable to help himself, he stepped
over to where she stood, and gazed down at her. She licked her lips in response, turned away, and dropped a spoonful of dough into a nearby pan. Lily and Eldon watched with interest as Elizabeth came into the kitchen, the twins close behind. “I’m hungry!” she announced.

“That’s good, because your dinner is almost ready,” Luke said.

Winnie dropped her spoon in the pan, and gripped the edge of the worktable. She leaned against it and closed her eyes. Luke’s heart felt as if it would leap from his chest as he watched her in the throes of some sort of battle. It was all he could do not to wrap his arms around her, and …

“Winnie,” he whispered.

She turned to him, tears in her eyes. “I can’t …”

“Can’t what?”

“This has been wrong since the beginning, and I can’t lie to you anymore.”

“What
are you saying?”

She cover
ed her mouth with her hand, and balled it into a fist. “Not here; not in front of the children. Later.”

He stood,
dumbfounded. What was she talking about? “All right; on the way home then.”

She nodded, and went back to work.

Luke stuck his hands in his pockets, and then looked at the children gathered around them. They were studying them both, and gazing at Winnie with eyes full of
appreciation
? Yes, that’s exactly how they were looking at her. It was how
he
looked at her. In two short days, she’d made his life so much easier, gotten him organized, his office straightened out. He’d made a mess of it in the short time he’d been there, and knew he needed to straighten it up, but didn’t have the time. Every spare moment he had was taken up by the townspeople. He again glanced at the children at their feet, a prick of emptiness growing deep within his heart. Wouldn’t Molly want him to move on? Find a wife, get married, have children? His eyes found Winnie. She was putting the biscuits in the oven. Yes, Molly would be proud of him if he decided to start a family. The one they never could.

Luke sighed, and returned his attention to the children. “What say we get the table ready?”

* * *

The soup was good, but Winnie hardly touched it. She nibbled a biscuit, and even that proved a task. She wash
ed it down with water but wondered if it would stay down. Ever since Luke kissed her, she’d puzzled and puzzled.
Why?

He gave no indication
that he was attracted to her, at least none that she could tell, but then, what did she know?  One thing Winnie did know was that
she
was very attracted to
him
. Maybe that’s all it took.

He gl
anced up now and then to look at her, his face an expressionless mask. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling; and it was driving her crazy. Did he hate himself for what he’d done? Did he worry she would tell anyone? Good heavens; what if Mrs. Brock found out? What sort of gossip would that cause? Winnie almost dropped her spoon at the thought.

But Mrs. Brock wasn’t going to find out
; she would see to that.

Luke cleared his throat. “Mrs. Edmonson, is there anything else we can do for you?”

Mrs. Edmonson had been silent during the meal. Her hair was mussed, her face dirty, and she looked like she hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in weeks. “Oh, Pastor Luke, you’ve done more than enough. We can manage now.”

“When will Mr. Edmonson be home?” Luke asked.

The woman stared at him, her mouth half-open. “Ah, well, ya see, he sometimes goes into town after work, and then comes home.”

Luke studied the woman. “I understand
. Well, why don’t Miss Longfellow and I clean things up, and then put the children to bed so you can rest?”

Mrs. Edmonson’s lower lip trembled. “That’s mighty kind of you. I ain’t been
feelin’ so good, ya know.”

“Y
es, I know. It’s why we’ve come,” Luke told her gently. “Now go upstairs and get some rest. We’ll take it from here.”

She smiled, got up from the table, and headed for the stairs. The baby was asleep in her mother’s room, giving Mrs. Edmonson a small break and a chance to spend time with the rest of her brood. Lily tried to follow her but Luke reached a hand out and stopped the child. “No, best let your mother have a little quiet time now.”

Lily bit her bottom lip and frowned. “But I want to hear a story.”

“I can read you a story if you like,” Winnie offered.

Luke smiled. “Ah, there, you see? You’ll still get to hear a story.”

Lily smiled. “I have my favorite book; I’ll go get it!” The child ran from the kitchen to the bedroom, and returned, a worn book in her hand. She held it up proudly before Winnie. “Aesop!”

Winnie took it and turned it over a few times to study it. “Aesop’s Fables? Oh
, my goodness.”

“Pa used to read them to us, but he stopped when Ma was
carryin’ Ella.” Gabe explained.

“Really?” asked Winnie. “I wonder why.”

Gabe shrugged. “I can herd em into the parlor for ya, ma’am.”

Winnie giggled. “I didn’t realize one could ‘herd’ toddlers.”

Gabe gave another shrug and smiled.

She nodded at
him to commence with the herding, and stood. She looked at Luke as the children left the table and headed for the parlor. Luke, against his better judgment, stared back. His stomach felt light, as if he hadn’t eaten, and needed something. But what?
Her?
“You’re familiar with Aesop’s Fables?”

“Who isn’t?” she said, her voice almost a whisper.

He sucked in a breath. Lord, but he wanted to kiss her again! “We’d best not keep the children waiting.”

She looked away. “No, we mustn’t.”

He followed her into the parlor where the children waited, sat next to her on the settee, and for the next hour, listened to her read. It was heaven.

* * *

After they’d put the children to bed, they bid good-bye to Mrs. Edmonson, and left. There was still no sign of Mr. Edmonson, and Luke and Winnie could both guess where he was.

“How long do you think he’s been going to the saloon before coming home?” Winnie asked as she walked along beside him.

“Probably since the baby was born. You saw how scarce their supplies were. He’s doing what a lot of men do when they’re overwhelmed.” He let out a long breath. “I’ll visit him with some of the other men from church; have a talk with him. In the meantime, we should get a few of the women together to make them some food baskets.”

Winnie smiled at his words. The thought of taking food to the Edmonson children with some of the other women in town made her feel useful, like she had a solid purpose. She was used to taking care of others, and realized she felt her best when doing so. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Thank you, I’d appreciate that.”

They walked along in silence for another half mile, before Winnie spoke up. “Luke, about what happened earlier.”

He stopped, and looked down at her. “Winnie, I … I didn’t mean to be so dis-respectful. I promise it won’t happen again.” He leaned toward her, close enough for her to feel heat radiating off his body. “Unless you want me to …”
She let out a tiny gasp, and took a step back. Her knees felt weak again, and her heart raced. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? “What … what do you mean?”

“Exactly what I said
; I won’t kiss you again unless you want me to. Understood?” He started to walk again, and left her standing there, her hand to her chest, as if it would help to still her racing heart. But after
that
, what could? 

She felt like s
lapping herself back to reality and following him. But her feet wouldn’t move, let alone her hand, so she stood a moment longer, until he stopped and turned to her. “What’s the matter?” he asked.

She shook her head, not daring to speak, knowing her stutter would make a fool out of her. She licked her dry lips and forced her feet to move. He
liked
kissing her! The realization propelled her forward until she caught up to him. “Nothing,” she managed.

“Good. Then we … understand each other?”

She nodded, not knowing what else to do. Was he asking to court her, or just to kiss her again? She hadn’t thought of that. What if that’s all it was? A blissful moment shared and nothing more? She shuddered, and walked on, as did he.

He clasped his hands behind his back and whistled as they walked back to town. Winnie wondered if it was his way of closing the subject and not talking about it, or an
ything, for that matter. In fact, he whistled all the way back, and she in turn began to feel a little put out with him. By the time he’d walked her to the Smythes’ front door, she was feeling quite agitated.

“I’ll see you in the morning?”

“Perhaps.”

He puckered his brows. “Does Mrs. Smythe need you here?”

“She might. I’ll have to ask.”

“I see, well, if I don’t see you, I’m sure I’ll get along.”

“You do that.” Her words were short and direct, and she wanted to go inside. She was confused, and knew she should ask him exactly what he meant concerning this kissing business, but couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“I’ll say goodnight then.”

She looked at him; his features masked by dusk’s light. “Goodnight.” Without another word, she went into the house and quickly closed the door.
Coward.
But she couldn’t help it; besides, how was she to know what he
really
thought of her?

“Winnie, is that you?” Maude called from the kitchen.

“Yes,” she called back. She went down the hall and knew that Maude and Jonathan Smythe would be sipping coffee or tea at this point in the evening. She entered the kitchen, poured herself a cup of coffee, and sat at the table.

“What’s the matter?” asked Maude. “Did you and Pastor Luke have a hard day?”

“We went to the Edmonson farm.”

“The Edmonson place, eh?” commented Jonathan. “I bet you had your hands full.”

“Yes,” she said, staring at her cup.

Maude eyed her, and stood. “C
ome into the sewing room. I have something to show you.” Winnie sighed, and pushed away from the table. Taking her cup in hand, she followed Maude into a small room off the parlor. Once inside, Maude quickly shut the door. “What in tarnation happened? Why such a long face?”

Winnie swallowed. “He kissed me.”

Maude sucked in a breath and clapped her hands together. “He did? That’s wonderful!”

Winnie looked at her, her face void of emotion, and looked away.

“It
was
wonderful, wasn’t it?” Maude asked, her voice holding a hint of worry.

“Blissful.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I don’t think he plans on doing it again.”

“Why not? Who wouldn’t want to kiss a pretty girl like you?”

“Exactly.”

Maude pulled her down onto a love seat. “He kissed you, but didn’t like it?”

“I don’t know. He said he wouldn’t let it happen again unless I wanted it to.” She looked up at the older woman. “Does that mean it’s up to me?”

Maude sighed. “I think he’s waiting for you to give him permission next time, in order to remain a gentleman.”

“But what if he’s not? What if he’s willing to kiss me, and nothing more?
”

“Whatever gave you that notion? He’s our town
’s pastor, after all.”