Love Inspired Historical June 2014 Bundle: Lone Star Heiress\The Lawman's Oklahoma Sweetheart\The Gentleman's Bride Search\Family on the Range (94 page)

She didn't, though. There was always this nagging awareness of something missing. When she went to town, her eyes caught on every blond man she saw. She paused at the sound of a man's low tones. Everywhere she went, she thought she saw Lou. She hoped to feel his hand on her shoulder, to see the sparkle in his eyes or the way his lips turned at the corners when he smiled. His ready laugh followed her.

James heaved himself into the wagon beside her. The horses pranced, ready for their jaunt. Their manes wavered in front of Mary, blurring as an unwelcome stinging filled her eyes. She blinked again, harder this time.

“You okay, Mary girl?” James patted her shoulder, his palms an awkward pressure on her blouse.

“I'll be fine.” She tried to quiet her sniffle, but it came out loud and unattractive.

“Anything you want to talk about?” His voice was gruff but kind.

He hated emotional outbursts. She knew that, but wanted nothing more than to cry and ask him why a man kissed a woman, listened to her pain, gave her advice and then left her for a job across the ocean. Why couldn't a man say goodbye to a family he no longer had, to welcome a new family? He didn't even have to say goodbye, she wouldn't expect that. She just wanted him to be willing to be open to a new season in his life. To change.

But evidently that was too much for Lou. Frowning, she picked at a piece of linen sticking out from one of her pies. “Let's just go, James. There's nothing to change what is.”

“Now, now, you never know what's around the corner. Miss Alma surely took me by surprise.” He let out a crackly laugh that tilted Mary's lips a bit.

“I'm sure you must have seen her coming,” she pointed out. “Miss Alma is not a subtle person.”

“What I didn't see coming were my own feelings. When I fixed that pipe at her house while you were making mischief in Portland, why, I stood up, caught a sniff of something baking in the oven and that fancy perfume she wears, and I just felt like I'd gone home. Like there was something missing out of my life and she held that missing piece, right there in her bathroom.”

Mary bit her bottom lip, torn between happiness for James and sadness for herself. “So that's how she snagged you, food and perfume?”

“Nope. It was that home feeling.” He cracked the reins and the horses set off. Mary gripped her pies. “Not that you haven't provided a home, my girl, but I always knew I was an employee.”

“Oh, no.” She turned to him. “You've been...like a father to me. In so many ways.”

His cheeks flushed. “Well, I'm right glad to hear that.” He cleared his throat. “Mark my words, Mary girl. If Lou don't get himself home soon, if he don't make right whatever's wrong between you two, then he's a bigger fool than I thought. You deserve better. My Alma told me she's got a surprise for you at this picnic.”

Mary stifled her groan. “Don't tell me it's a man.”

“Well, now, I didn't say that. I don't want her thinking I ruined your surprise.”

“Here's the thing, James.” She took a deep breath and suddenly found she believed it. “I miss Lou and hope he'll come home, but I am blessed and filled by the family I have. I don't need a man to make me whole or to give me purpose.”

“Nah. I know that.” He shot her a grin. “But love, not a man, surely makes a person's life more full.”

She looked forward and exhaled her pent-up breath. That might very well be, but she wouldn't put her life on hold, hadn't, in fact, waiting for a love that might never come.

For a love that almost was.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

L
ou came home to an empty ranch.

Dropping his luggage in the hallway, he meandered around the empty house before stepping back outside. It was a nice August day, perfect for an outing. Maybe that was where everyone had gone.

Fatigue pulled at his eyelids. He shook his head, ran fingers through hair that hadn't been trimmed in a while. He circled the house and headed toward Mary's home. Flowers bloomed outside her door.

He knocked, and Mary's mother answered. She looked happier than he'd ever seen her, a smile playing on her lips and knitting needles in her hand.

“You are here for my daughter?”

He nodded.

Rose studied him carefully. He couldn't read her dark eyes but somehow felt her disapproval. “They went to Horn's,” she said finally. She touched the door, beginning to swing it closed, but he stopped her.

“I've got something to get off my chest,” he said. Taking a deep breath, he kept her gaze. “I treated you wrongly. Will you forgive me?”

This time she blinked and it seemed as though her features softened. Then her lips curved again. “
Besa soobeda
. This is a good thing,” she said quietly. “You are forgiven. Find my daughter and make things right.”

The door shut. Grinning, he pivoted and went to get a horse.

He supposed he could wait for them to get home, but he didn't want to. Mary's mother was right. He hadn't traveled for so long to come home to emptiness.

He was back to do what he should have six weeks ago. No, what he should have done months ago. It had only taken seeing an old friend with his new family for him to realize that he'd made a huge mistake. Interspersed in all his traveling was some Bible reading and serious soul searching.

He readied a horse and within minutes was galloping toward the Horn place. It didn't take long to find the huge picnic in progress. The scents reached him before he could even distinguish faces.

He patted the rump of his roan and tied her up next to the other horses. He spotted Trevor's truck parked next to the few other vehicles some had dared to drive over the challenging roadways.

Sparse grasses flowed with the direction of the breeze. A bird twittered in the oak beside him. He took a steadying breath, surprised by the tightness of his gut. He'd faced down professional killers and never felt this nervous.

Wiping his hands against his jeans, he set off toward the picnic. Children shrieked with delight as a small dog ran in circles around them, yapping and wagging its tail. Other kids were climbing Horn's maple. They'd have skinned shins, no doubt, by the end of the picnic.

He grinned, thinking of his own childhood and all its adventures.

“Mister Lou!” The high-pitched scream barely reached him before Josie smacked into his leg. He chuckled, reached under her arms and threw her into the air. Her squeal almost shattered his eardrums.

Laughing, he brought her close and hugged her.

“I missed you so much,” she said into his ear, her arms a vise around his neck.

His smile quivered, and he hugged her tighter. “I missed you, too.”

She pulled back and gave him a serious look. Her purple ribbon hung over one eye. “Are you leaving again? Because I don't think Miss Mary will like that very much.”

“What about you?” he teased, tweaking her nose. “Don't you want me to stay?”

Her eyes rounded and her whole body tensed. “Are you teasing me?”

He winked at her. “Let's just say I plan on sticking around, if Miss Mary will have me.”

Her face lit up and she wiggled to get free. “Okay, I'm going to get her right now and tell her you have to stay.”

“Wait, wait,” he said, laughing and putting her down. “Let me surprise her.”

“Ooh, I like surprises!”

“Shh.” He rubbed her head and she leaned into his touch, beaming at him with such wide-eyed openness that his chest clenched with emotion. “I love you, little Josie. Do you know that?”

She nodded, a very solemn look crossing her face. “I know, Mister Lou. I love you, too, ya know.”

Smiling, he fixed her ribbon. “Come back in a bit and I'll get you some chocolate cake.”

“Miss Mary said I had to eat my broccoli first. I hate broccoli!” She scampered off before he could respond, which was all well and good because at that moment he glimpsed the shine of black hair moving through the crowd of people.

He moved toward her, his heart racing, his stomach churning. He'd wondered how he'd feel when he saw her again, and the emotions roaring through him proved to be more powerful than he expected.

He stepped over a bush and followed Mary to the dessert table. Of course that was where she'd be. Checking out the goods, arranging them just so. She'd always be a homemaker.

She was quiet and deep, like a refreshing lake in the middle of a forest. Fresh and sweet to the taste, offering sustenance to all those who visited. He'd missed this stillness of hers, the ability she had of setting anyone at ease with her gentle smile.

Even her movements were soft and contained...and yet he remembered her in his arms. Full of passion and energy, giving all of herself to him in the way only a woman in love can do. His throat felt hot and tight as he watched her rearrange snickerdoodles on a plate. Her hair was up in some kind of doodad. Its glossiness beckoned to him. He wanted to pull it down, let the waves flow wild in the breeze, let them weave through his fingers with abandon.

He wanted her in his arms.

His hands ached to hold her, to feel the love she offered. But was he enough? Could he make her happy?

Swallowing hard, he stepped behind her. He saw the moment she felt his presence. Her back stiffened. There was the slightest intake of air, almost indiscernible beneath the noise of the picnic.

* * *

Mary swiveled around, her hand against her heart.

Lou grinned at her, his lips curving in that familiar way, smile lines fanning out from his eyes, and her breath caught so hard she choked.

Coughing, she put her hand against her mouth. He was immediately near her, rubbing her back, asking if she was okay.

She nodded, face hot. It wasn't fair how he made her feel, these emotions he'd brought alive in her.

“You're back,” she managed to croak. Not the most attractive speaking she'd ever done. Her neck felt on fire.

“I'm back.” His mouth twisted into a rueful smile. “China wasn't quite what I wanted.”

“Oh?” she breathed. Words were forsaking her and she did not appreciate their absence.

“It looks like you've been doing well without me.” His hand waved in the air. “You even talked James into attending a church picnic. Impressive.”

She swallowed, willing herself to breathe normally when every nerve ending tingled with unspoken anticipation. “That was Miss Alma's doing.”

“Ah. Somehow I'm not surprised.” Lou's eyes twinkled and he moved closer, edging into her space. “And you? Now that I'm not your employer, how have you been surviving?”

“My mother is with me. She sells her baskets.”

“No need to be defensive. I'm sorry about what happened with her, but if you can look past it, I can.” His finger came out to touch her cheek.

She shivered.

His gaze probed and she couldn't look away from the intensity in the blueness of his eyes. “What I want to know is how
you
are doing,” he repeated in a low tone.

She wet her lips, unnerved and yet strangely alert to his attention. “I'm fine. Besides my selling herbs to him, Joseph at the general store likes me to bring in baked goods two or three times a week. The town ladies enjoy getting fresh, ready-made food. It is enough money for something I enjoy doing.”

“Sounds like you're handling things just fine, then. Not needing me, I suppose?”

What did he mean by that? She studied him, her voice coming out stiffer than she expected. “I am content.”

“Well,” he said, his fingers rubbing through his hair and sending it in all sorts of directions, “wish I could say the same about myself.”

Her brows lifted.

“See, this here's the thing. I'm not doing good at all. In fact, I'm miserable.” The smile left his face. “I had a girl once, a long time ago, who I loved. She was carefree and opinionated. She was a bright fire that burned out too quickly. And I thought I'd never survive when she took our baby with her.”

Mary's heart pounded beneath her sternum, an unsteady beat that matched the pace of her breathing.

“I thought I'd never feel whole again. But when I was shot, things began to change. So before I left Oregon for China, I put in for a different job.” He shrugged, a thoughtful look on his face. “And then I traveled to Hong Kong, lots on my mind. I thought I'd left God in the dust, but He's been pursuing me. He's in my thoughts all the time. I think of you and I see Him. So I popped open the Bible and pretty soon I started feeling this change. This remembrance.” His gaze turned very solemn. “I never told you this, but Sarah and I were churchgoing folk. I believed in Jesus and followed Him. When she died—”

“I'm sorry, Lou.” Mary couldn't help it, the words slipped past her lips and broke his confession.

“But I don't want you to be sorry.” His eyes crinkled. “I reached China, and the man who met me was an old agent friend. He'd lost so much, like me, but when he met me at the port, he had a wife and child with him. He'd moved on, and I realized so had I.”

Mary glanced around at the picnic. She saw people watching them surreptitiously. James had his arms around a very satisfied-looking Miss Alma. Gracie was giving her a thumbs-up.

Lou gripped her shoulders, forcing her attention to him. His hands were gentle, his fingers rotating in a comforting movement against her blouse. “I visited Sarah's and Abby's graves.”

She felt her eyes widen at his words.

“And I was okay. As I knelt there, I thought of how I'd loved them but then I thought about how I love Josie. And—” he trailed off, his eyes softening “—how I love you.”

She sucked in air, suddenly feeling fear spread through her. Biting her lower lip, she pulled from his grasp. “But your job—”

“Is nothing without a home to come home to. What I realized is that God is giving me what I've missed for so long. He's been trying for a long time, but I was too dumb to realize it. You're the home for my heart, Mary.” He crowded her again, backing her against the dessert table, but somehow she didn't feel encroached upon. Rather, she felt enveloped, hugged...safe. “Whenever I come home from a trip, I look for you. It's been like that for years, but I chalked it up to brotherly feelings. To friendship. What you said weeks ago, about us not being friends, you were right. I don't want friendship.”

“You don't?” she whispered. Her whole body trembled. She could hardly think.

His hand reached up and touched her hair, then slid down to cup her cheek. His palm was firm and strong. “I love you so much it hurts to breathe. I want to hold you and be with you, to inhale the scent of your hair while you bake, to watch your fingers works as you knit, to go to sleep with you and wake in the morning, your hand in mine. When I think of you, I think of heat and strength and goodness. I don't ever want to let you go.”

Mary pressed her lips together, hardly daring to believe what he was saying, and yet her pulse sped with the honesty in his voice. “Your job?” she ventured carefully.

He chuckled. “You're awfully worried about that, aren't you? Langdon is going to be locked away for a long time. We've got more witnesses against him. I put in for a position with the Harney County Sheriff's Office and was accepted. Turns out they think I'll be good at the job, with a little training. Any more questions?”

She shook her head, wondering in a very scattered way if this was the moment where they'd kiss. Her lips tingled at the thought.

“Good, because I have one more question for you, and I'm going to need a direct answer.” His smile spread lopsided across his face and his eyes sparkled. He dropped down on one knee. There was a collective silence, and Mary felt every picnicker's eye upon them.

“Mary O'Roarke, woman I love, the one lady I want to spend the rest of my life with, will you marry me?” He held up a ring. The light caught the planed surfaces of a modest diamond, splaying rainbow glints.

“Of course she will,” Josie piped up from beside her.

She hadn't even felt the little girl's presence, but here she was, her back straight and stoic, her tone firmer than a mama with a naughty little boy. Mary couldn't hold back her smile; her lips curved and wouldn't straighten.

“You think so?” Lou asked her, his own lips playing tag with his cheeks.

“I know so,” Josie asserted, but there was the slightest tremble to her words.

“In that case, let me present you with your ring,” said Lou. He pulled out a tiny diamond solitaire.

Josie gasped. “For me?”

“Yep. It's a symbol of our devotion.”

“I'm going to wear it forever! Look, James.” She ran off and Lou stood, the ring still in his hand. “What do you say, Mary?” An uncertain look entered his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, smile unwavering, she held out her fingers. “I'd say I'd like to see how it fits.”

Laughing, he slid the ring onto her finger and pulled her close. His lips met hers and she felt his smile against hers, and then they were heart to heart, fingers entwined.

When the kiss ended, when the cheers and whoops from onlookers quieted, Lou pressed his cheek against hers and whispered in her ear, “What God has brought together, let no man tear asunder. Here's to our new family.”

She giggled and kissed him again. When she felt sufficiently dizzy and slack limbed, she pulled back and winked at him. “To our family on the range.”