Love Inspired June 2015 - Box Set 1 of 2: The Cowboy's Homecoming\The Amish Widow's Secret\Safe in the Fireman's Arms (18 page)

Chapter Fourteen

L
ee stepped inside the café, trying not to let the conflicted feelings that had trailed him all the way to town take over. He needed to keep his mind clear.

“Hey, Lee, be with you in a minute,” Allison called out as she wiped a table, bussing the mugs.

Lee's phone buzzed and he glanced at the display. Abby again.

He knew he should talk to her, but he wasn't ready. Not until he spoke with her father. He needed to sort things out in his own mind before they could have any kind of discussion. It was as if he had to move back before he could move ahead.

He glanced around the half-empty café, the scent of coffee blending with the smell of burgers frying.

An older man close to the door looked up and gave him a tight nod, the table in front of him strewn with papers.

“Hey, Uncle Keith,” Lee said, hoping the former sheriff wouldn't try to set him on the straight and narrow as he usually did the few times Lee had come home to Saddlebank.

But thankfully Uncle Keith just gave him a vague smile, then turned back to the papers he was scribbling on, leaving Lee to deal with a few other locals who said hello.

He returned the greetings, then spotted Cornell sitting in a booth in the back. Ironically it was the same booth where Abby had given him the fateful news.

Lee assumed it was Cornell. The man wore a ball cap, his glasses glinting in the overhead lights. Lee hadn't seen the man since he was taken away to jail.

Lee willed his heart to slow down as he strode between the tables toward the booth, his attention fixed on the man still staring down at the table.

“Good morning, Cornell,” Lee said, slipping into the booth. Nerves and anger blended with the remnants of guilt washing over him as he looked at the man across from him. Lee set his hat beside him, unbuttoned his denim jacket, shifted his weight, as he sorted out his feelings. The guilt he could discard, but the anger he was having a harder time dealing with.

“Good morning yourself,” Cornell mumbled, still not looking at him.

Lee rested his clenched fists on his knees below the table, trying to compose himself. He had gone over what he wanted to say to Cornell dozens of times.

But it was easier to do in the abstract.

Now, faced with the man who had done so much to him, he wasn't sure he could go through with it. The only thing that kept him going was the picture his father had taken of him and Abby dancing. The photo was surprisingly in focus, given his father's lack of photography experience.

Lee had discovered it last night when he was trying to find someone, other than Abby, who could put him in touch with Cornell. He had looked at that photograph numerous times since then.

It was a stark and telling reminder of what was at stake with this meeting. Cornell was Abby's father. Would always be her father. This needed to be dealt with before he and Abby could have any semblance of a relationship.

“I'm glad you agreed to this meeting,” Lee said quietly.

Cornell nodded, his hands fiddling with the napkin in front of him, his head still lowered. “I'm guessing you want to talk to me about the accident. I can't tell you how sorry I am that I did that to you. You must be so angry.”

Lee pulled in a long breath, his mind ticking back to that night and his hazy memories, stifling the very anger Cornell alluded to. Last night his feelings had veered from sorrow to anger to regret back to anger. He had gone over and over the accusations he had wanted to hurl at the man, and each time he had to catch himself. Stop himself from getting pulled into the vortex of rage he had spent so much time in when he was in jail.

“I'm so sorry,” Cornell muttered. “I wish I could redo that night. I was so wrong.”

“When did you decide that?”

The question burst out of him before he could stop it.

Cornell lifted his eyes and in their depths Lee caught a haunted look. He also saw the deep lines bracketing his mouth, the dullness of his skin. He looked shrunken down. Diminished.

Life had not been kind to Abby's father.

“It had been bothering me ever since I started the process,” Cornell admitted.

“So why did you carry on?”

“I saw it as a chance to get something. To make something out of my life. Things hadn't been going well for me. I had lost my job and didn't dare tell my wife and kids, so when I heard that I could sue the driver...” His voice drifted off and Lee fought down his own memories. “I—I want you to forgive me,” he said.

Lee settled back in the booth, old emotions battling with new. The easiest thing to do would be to cling to the injustice of what had happened.

What will you gain if you do that?

The voice of reason settled in his mind. And, once again, he heard his father's voice.

Sure, he hadn't been the one to hurt Cornell after all, but as his father had said, it wasn't a matter of
if
he would have caused another accident, it was a matter of
when
. And maybe it would have been worse? Maybe he would have killed somebody?

Clinging to his anger or retribution would not only be a return to that place of bleak, dark despair that he never wanted to be again, but it would also create an immovable barrier between him and Abby. And that was the last thing he wanted. Staying with Abby meant accepting what her father had done to him.

And the thought of not having Abby in his life created a heavy ache in his chest.

“I forgive you,” he said in a low voice. The words were, initially automatic, but as they resonated in the quiet, as he saw a brief flicker of hope in Cornell's eyes, he spoke them again knowing they needed to be said as much for Cornell's sake as his own. “I forgive you, Cornell.”

As he spoke the words, he felt them settle in his own soul and take root. He knew it would take time before he could forgive completely. He was only human, but he also knew that with God's guidance and strength that forgiveness would become truly sincere in time.

“And now we'll need to talk about bringing the truth out,” Cornell said, tapping his fingers nervously on the table. “I need to go to the police. Tell them the truth.”

Lee thought of the direction his life had been taking before the accident. His innate pride wanted his name cleared, but he also knew that this would change nothing in his present. Like his father said, he had been heading toward destruction before the accident.

“I'm willing to leave things as they stand,” Lee said. “No one will be helped by going back and digging up the old stories.”

Cornell caught Lee's hands and squeezed them. Hard. “Thank you,” he whispered. “You have no idea what that means.”

Cornell was wrong. Lee knew exactly what forgiveness meant and how it felt to be on the receiving end of it. He knew how free he had felt when Abby had told him that she forgave him.

Lee gently withdrew his hands. There was something else he needed to discuss with Cornell.

“I'd like you to know that I care for your daughter. A lot,” he said. “But I need to talk to her. She's been trying to call me, but I need to see her face-to-face. Do you know where she is?”

Cornell looked up at him, then slowly shook his head. “She left early this morning.”

His heart thudded in his chest. Was that why Abby had been calling? To say goodbye? Lee pulled his phone out and quickly dialed her number, but he was sent to voice mail. He tried again. Same result. He punched in a text. Maybe she was ignoring his calls the way he had ignored hers. He waited after it was sent, but nothing. No sign that it was even read.

He glanced up at Cornell. “Did she say where she was going?”

“She told me she was headed back to Seattle, but that she had to make one stop on her way. Something about life coming full circle.”

Lee frowned at that but then realized what she meant. If he hurried, he might catch her.

Otherwise he would have a long ride ahead of him. He knew he wasn't going to stop until he caught up to her, and he would do so one way or the other.

* * *

“So he wasn't answering your calls,” Louisa was saying.

Abby swapped her phone to her other ear as she got out of her car, tugging her backpack with her, the sun glancing off the heated pavement. “No. Not that I blame him. I can't expect him to simply forget everything my family did to him and come running to me with open arms. We ruined his life.” She had been on the other side of that anger and knew all too well how it could consume and how hard it was to forgive.

Louisa's silence was like a stark affirmation of what Abby said.

“Anyhow, it's over and I have to move on,” she said, stepping off the pavement and onto the trail leading toward the trees.

“To where? I thought you said you were quitting the magazine.”

“I haven't talked to Maddie yet.”

“So you're not going to take over that studio from that Dana chick? The one who was supposed to be taking pics at Keira's wedding? I heard she was selling out.”

Abby had heard the same thing and for a few hopeful moments had thought this was an opportunity for her. But after her father's visit tore her world apart, that dream had died a sudden death.

“You know staying in Saddlebank is not going to work.” Even Lee hadn't stayed around Saddlebank after his difficulties.

Not that he had any choice. The guy was hauled off to jail.

Abby shuddered at the memory. Too much to get past.

“So, where are you now?” Louisa asked.

“I'm at the lookout point. I needed some time away from the apartment. Away from Saddlebank.”

“So, about getting home... Are you going right now? Did you want me to find my own way back?”

Abby bit her lip, thinking. “Actually I was hoping to talk you into leaving early too. I have to finish up the photos for Keira and Tanner's wedding, but those I can do from Seattle as well as here.”

“Normally I would but...well...you see...I've made a few plans.”

“With George?”

“Bingo.”

In spite of her own troubles, Abby had to smile, though she wondered what Brooke would think of this new development. “Okay. I'll stay tonight yet, but I've gotta be out of here tomorrow.”

“Sure thing.”

Abby said goodbye, then tossed her phone in her car. She didn't want any distractions while she was up here. Maddie had called a number of times asking for clarification and some tweaks on the article she had sent. Abby knew it was merely an excuse to see if Abby would keep working for her.

She hadn't given her final notice yet, her uncertainty over her job fueled by the uncertainty in her life. As she stared up at the cloudless blue sky, emotions churned through her. She didn't know where she belonged anymore. What she wanted to do. The ground under her had been cut away, once again, by her father's actions.

Abby turned her camera on but in the process mistakenly hit the preview button. The last picture she had taken flashed on the LCD screen, and Abby sucked in a breath.

It was the one of Lee giving the speech to his sister at her wedding. It had taken some fooling around with the light balance and the aperture, but she managed to get a clear shot.

Now, looking at it, she felt as if someone had pulled her heart right out of her chest. For a few sublime, glorious days she had felt as if her life had been moving into a better, brighter place.

She had felt empty before, but it was nothing compared to how bereft she felt now.

“Had I not seen the sun, I could have borne the shade
.
” The quote from Emily Dickinson pierced her soul as the sun beat down on her now.

The second time in her life the tantalizing idea of being with Lee had been within reach, and once again, the actions of others intervened to make that impossible.

Her steps faltered as she pressed her hand to her heart, the ache like a stab wound. How was she going to go on?

Help me, Lord
, she prayed, clinging to the one relationship she knew she could count on. She stopped there, not even sure what she wanted to pray for.

Help Lee
, she finally whispered.
Help him to forgive me.

Part of her wanted to see him one last time before she left, but she couldn't face him.

She walked through the trees, coming out to look over the same view she had been looking at when she first came here. It wasn't difficult to remember how she'd felt when she saw Lee. The anger. The sense of injustice. The pain.

All the emotions he was feeling now.

Dragging in a breath, she sent up another prayer, then lifted her camera and snapped a few pictures. Weariness clawed at her as the sun warmed her head and shoulders. She hadn't slept much last night. Thoughts of Lee twisted through her mind, creating chaotic dreams. So she sat down now, laid her head back and closed her eyes. Just for a few minutes, she promised herself as her thoughts grew muzzy.

The growl of a diesel truck slowing down fractured her dreams. She slowly opened her eyes, rubbing at them, wondering how long she had dozed off.

The truck came to a stop and the engine shut off and any remnants of sleep fled. Someone was here.

Her thoughts flashed back full circle to the last time she was here. She glanced hurriedly around, looking for a place to hide, then released a bitter laugh. Last time she did that, it didn't end well.

Besides, whoever it was knew she was here. Her car was a dead giveaway.

Then she turned as she heard muffled footfalls on the path.

This time, when the tall figure broke through the trees, cowboy hat pulled low over his face, she knew exactly who it was.

Lee.

Her heart jumped in her chest as he stopped. He strung his hands up in his pockets and gave her a tight nod.

“Hey there,” he said quietly.

“Hey back.” She swallowed the lump that threatened as her gaze took in his beloved features, searching for some clue as to his state of mind.