Love Left Behind (54 page)

"Christ."
Jackson's voice was full of anguish as he reached up, caressing my cheek
softly. "All these years apart. All these fucking years apart and we
could've been together. The thought that you called me because you wanted me
back, just to have Claire tell you those lies...it's almost too much to
bear." Jackson brushed his lips against my forehead and I closed my eyes
against the pain piercing through my heart. It seemed so tragic and unfair to
have been ripped apart for no reason. Jackson gently brushed his lips against
my closed eyelids, his breath light against me as he whispered. "You must
have hated me."

I opened my eyes,
gazing at him with uninhibited love. "I could never hate you," I
admitted softly. "Even when I thought you had cheated on me, I could never
stop loving you. I cursed myself for being so weak, for wanting you when you
had clearly rejected me."

Jackson cradled my head
gently between his hands, his green eyes glassy with emotion. "Sweetheart,
you're my world. Don't ever believe anything different. I would do anything for
you. Be anything for you."

"All I want is
you, Jackson. Everyone else can have the image. I just want the man." I
paused, my expression darkening. "I'm sorry for believing Claire all those
years ago. Hearing your voice in the background...it made me believe that it
was true. I should have known you would never do anything like that to me. I
should've tried calling you again but I was too hurt."

"Shh,
sweetheart," soothed Jackson as he wiped away the tears I hadn't realized
were making their way down my face. "It's not your fault. Don't blame
yourself. I shouldn't have listened to Claire when she told me you married
Sean. I just never thought she was that sick and disturbed." Jackson's
mouth twisted with pain.

I leaned up into him,
kissing him gently on the lips, my heart filling with love. Enough love to blot
out the regret.

"Let's not dwell
on the past. We've spent far too much time dwelling on what could have been.
We're together now. That's all that matters."

"Do you forgive me
for contacting Claire?" Jackson looked vulnerable and unsure, an
unfamiliar sight on his normally strong and confident face. "It was stupid
of me, even though I didn't know the lies she had told you about us."

I smiled gently at Jackson.
"I forgive you for everything, as long as you forgive me for pushing you
away all those years ago. I should have never lied to you and broken up with
you. Then none of this would have ever happened."

Jackson silenced me
with a kiss, grazing his lips over mine reverently. "Like you said, let's
not dwell on the past. I love you, Emma Mills. And I'm going to spend the rest
of my life proving it to you."

I leaned closer into
him, my breath quickening as the kiss deepened. "I'll hold you to
that."

Epilogue

"Jackson," I
called out with a hint of impatience. "What's taking so long? We're going
to be late."

I was worried that we
would miss our flight that was scheduled to leave in less than an hour. Jackson
had been taking forever to pack and I was starting to get exasperated, tapping
my foot as I waited for him in the living room.

"Don't worry,
sweetheart," Jackson said with a wink as he carried his suitcase out from
the bedroom. "The plane's not going to take off without us. It's one of
the advantages of flying privately."

I rolled my eyes
although I was relieved that Jackson was ready to go. I stood, grabbing my
purse and pulling on my jacket. "Still. It's rude to keep everyone
waiting."

Jackson grinned,
kissing me lightly as he grabbed my suitcase with his free hand. "It's a
good thing I have you around to keep me grounded. Last time we took a private
plane, you insisted on bringing your own food."

"All those plates
of cheese and fruit aren't free. Their prices are outrageous." I knew it
was ridiculous to nickel and dime food on a private plane, but I always felt a
little uncomfortable with all the extravagance that Jackson seemed to take for
granted. Besides, I had glimpsed a previous bill for a private flight, and
Jackson had been charged $300 for the food. A platter of cheese, fruit and
crackers
did not
cost $300. And that
didn't even take into account the wine.

"I guess I never
have to worry about going broke with you around."

I smiled, wrapping an
arm around Jackson's waist and leaning up to kiss him thoroughly. "I'll
still love you even if you go broke, as long as you keep me satisfied in
other
areas," I joked, breathless
from the kiss. I stepped back to make my way to the front door when Jackson
dropped our suitcases, grabbing me close and wrapping his arms around me.

"I didn't hear any
complaints last night," he said with a mischievous glint in his eye.
"But I'd be happy to give you another demonstration right now. I aim to
please."

"Jackson," I
squealed, my laughter ruining the effect of my disapproving look. "Our
flight, remember?"

Jackson sighed
dramatically, releasing me but not before swatting me on the behind. He grabbed
our suitcases again and made his way out the front door. I followed him,
locking the door behind us. I had given up my apartment a while ago and we were
now living together in Jackson's apartment. The past few months since we found
out about Claire's lies had been a whirlwind. It had been a joyous time, but it
wasn't without its difficulties. Now that the ghosts of the past had been
eradicated, we were forced to focus on the challenges of a relationship with
two people that were relearning everything about each other.

Jackson had mellowed
out since we had moved in together, but I was still surprised by how autocratic
he could be. And Jackson was finding out that I wasn't as pliable as I had been
five years ago, when I had been willing to let him make all the decisions. But
these were minor issues that were easy to navigate. The real challenge for me
was having a relationship with someone who was constantly in the limelight,
which consequently meant I was frequently under the microscope as well. The
paparazzi hadn't been too bad since we didn't give them much to report on
besides being happy and in love. Still, it was a huge adjustment for me to
become a semi-public figure.

Despite the challenges,
I had never been happier. We had gone to my mother's house for Thanksgiving,
and she had been in awe of Jackson, his celebrity status erasing any lingering
doubt she had about him. Trisha and Sean had been a little more reserved,
willing to accept that Jackson's actions had been misconstrued in the past, but
still wary of his intentions. It had been cringe-worthy to listen to Trisha
give him the third degree over turkey, questioning how he was going to ensure
that we had a healthy relationship when we were based on two different coasts
and the challenges I would face dating a celebrity. Jackson had taken the
interrogation good-naturedly, and I had to admit that I was as interested in
his answers as Trisha was. I wasn't sure how we were going to manage a
relationship when Jackson lived in California, never mind all the traveling he
had to do while shooting films.

Trisha had been
somewhat mollified when Jackson told her that he was planning on being based
out of New York because he knew my job was important to me, and that we would
face any challenges together.

Christmas had been
spent in Westchester with Jackson's family and I finally got to meet his
father, his brother Ryan, and his extended family. I had been nervous, but
everyone had embraced me and we had a wonderful holiday. I had never seen
Jackson so content, had never heard him laugh so easily, and it had warmed me,
heart and soul.

New Year's Eve had been
a bit of a battle. Jackson was contracted for a celebrity telecast that was
being filmed live in L.A., benefitting a charity raising money for heart
disease. A beloved celebrity had passed away from a heart attack earlier in the
year and his colleagues were gathering to raise money on his behalf, an
unprecedented event filled with A-list celebrities. I had been touched when
Jackson explained he had agreed to the telecast, something he had signed on for
before we had met again, because I had lost my father due to a heart attack.
But I was unable to join him because of too many obligations at work, and
Jackson had been a royal pain trying to get me to take time off.

In the end, I had stood
firm and stayed in New York, but it had been lonely being without him on New
Year's Eve. I had watched the program, but seeing Jackson on my television
screen made me feel even lonelier. The one bright spot was when Jackson
narrated a segment about the lives the charity had helped save, my heart
squeezing with love when I heard John Lennon's
Imagine
as the accompanying music.

I had cried watching
the montage, wishing that I had thrown my work obligations out the window so
that I could be with Jackson. He had called me shortly after midnight when the
telecast was over, telling me he loved me and would see me soon. I had fallen
asleep with those words on my mind, and I had been overjoyed when I woke up to
find myself in Jackson's arms. He was completely clothed and sleeping soundly,
looking exhausted from having taken the redeye back to New York. I had woken
him up with my lips and hands, showing him how much I loved him and missed him.

It was now mid-February
and we were flying to L.A. I had taken a couple of weeks off from work so I
could stay in California while Jackson negotiated some offers he had received.
I knew Jackson was holding off on accepting any roles because he didn't want us
to be apart, but I insisted that his career was important and that I was
willing to make the sacrifices necessary for Jackson to pursue what he loved. I
knew how much satisfaction and gratification Jackson got from acting, and I
didn't want to take that away from him. Even though I would miss him since he
was bound to be shooting on location somewhere far from New York, I was
confident in our relationship and knew our bond would never break.

Craig got us to the
airport in record time and I was relieved when we boarded the plane.

"Isn't Craig
coming with us?" I was confused when Craig wished us safe travels with a
smile after he dropped us off, and then got back into the SUV. He always came
with us whenever we traveled, although Jackson usually did all the driving
outside of New York with Craig only filling the capacity of bodyguard. The only
times Craig didn't travel with Jackson was when I had to stay behind for work.
Jackson was insistent that Craig stay with me.

"No, he's staying
in New York." Jackson didn't offer further explanation and I was too
distracted boarding the plane to ask. The pilot greeted us and then we settled
into the luxurious seats, buckling our seatbelts. Even though I had flown on
private jets multiple times with Jackson now, I still couldn't get used to the
luxury. It would be hard to ever fly coach after this.

The pilot went through
some safety checks with us and then told us we would be taking off shortly. Jackson
held my hand, knowing that I got a little nervous flying in a small plane.

"Where's the
flight attendant?" I asked, craning my neck to look behind us. The plane
only had eight seats, but there was also a lounge behind us where we were free
to move around once we reached our cruising altitude. The flight attendant was
usually strapped in a seat in the front but I didn't see her.

"We don't have one
on this flight."

"Oh," I said
confused. We always had a flight attendant on our private flights. I brightened,
looking at Jackson approvingly. "A cost-cutting measure. Good for
you."

Jackson grinned at me,
looking highly amused, but I chalked it up to being excited about going back to
L.A. He had mentioned looking at some new property since his current apartment
was pretty small and sparse. I had been surprised the first time I had seen it,
expecting something much grander. Jackson had shrugged his shoulders, saying
that he hadn't thought much was necessary since he just considered it a place
to sleep. He insisted that he wanted my input on the new place since I would be
living there as well, and I was flattered that he wanted my opinion.

Once the pilot
announced that we could move around the plane, Jackson and I both unbuckled our
seatbelts and moved to the back to stretch out on the sofa.

"Are you
hungry?" Jackson asked.

"Aren't I
always?" I smiled as I watched Jackson play flight attendant, opening a
small refrigerator in the back and pulling out a large platter as well as a
bottle of champagne.

"What's the occasion?"
I asked with a raised eyebrow, looking pointedly at the champagne. Jackson set
the platter full of meats, cheeses and crackers on the low table in front of us
and proceeded to open the bottle expertly with a small pop.

"Do I need a
special occasion to enjoy a glass of champagne with the woman I love?"
Jackson leaned down to give me a quick kiss before filling two flutes, handing
me one.

"I guess
not." I took a sip of the wine, feeling deliriously happy as the bubbles
tickled my nose. Jackson frowned, looking a little put out.

"We haven't
toasted yet."

I suppressed a grin at
Jackson's expression of boyish displeasure and put on a face of chagrin.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead."

Jackson smirked as if
he knew I was laughing at him, but then his smirk transformed into a gentle
smile as he gazed at me.

"Emma, I can't
tell you how happy I've been these past few months. Spending my life with you
is all I could ever ask for. Anything else is a bonus." Jackson reached
over, cupping my cheek gently with his hand as his gaze lowered to the diamond
pendant that had found its home again around my neck. My heart started beating
faster, wondering if this was the moment. Jackson and I had never explicitly
discussed marriage but I assumed it was in the future, although I hadn't
expected it to happen so soon.