Love & Loss (50 page)

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Authors: C. J. Fallowfield

BOOK: Love & Loss
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‘Zane,’ I screamed. He whipped his head around and started running towards me, he looked like an American football line backer charging along the pavement and I gulped when I saw Gabe leap out of his car and fly towards me. I pointed a shaking finger down the alley, from where I could heard yelling and Zane kept running in that direction. Gabe collided with me running towards him and crushed me to his chest, his heart pounding as fast as mine.

‘Mia what the fuck’s going on? Are you ok baby?’

‘Yes,’ I nodded as I buried my face in his chest.

‘Mia?’ I looked up and saw Billy and nodded my head down the alley.

‘You ok girl?’

‘I’ll be fine thanks, some guy made an inappropriate move and a friend dragged him off me. Zane’s already down there.’ I smiled as he nodded and headed off. I actually pitied Adam if he was up against the might of Billy, Zane
and
Milo, no one stood a chance.

‘Mia what the hell?’ Gabe uttered.

‘It’s my fault, I’m so sorry. I used to the back door to avoid Adam who was standing at the main door. He must have realised and came to wait for me in the ally.’

‘Adam? That arsehole from the restaurant?’

‘Yes.’

‘Did he touch you again?’

‘He pinned me against the wall and I think he was going to try to kiss me, but … but …’ Shit. How was I going to explain Milo. Even I didn’t know what he was doing here, but I could hardly complain, if it wasn’t for him …. I shuddered and Gabe held me tighter.

‘But what baby?’

‘I pulled the bastard off her,’ came Milo’s voice and my heart sank.


Milo?
’ Gabe tensed up around me automatically.

‘Hi Gabe. Lucky I happened to be here tonight. I saw Mia leave the back entrance and thought I’d wait to say hello out front here, when she didn’t show I got worried and that arsehole had her up against the wall. You ok?’

‘I’ll be fine, thanks ever so much Milo. What’s going on down there?’ I noticed Gabe hadn’t let go of me and I was quite happy about it.

‘Billy and Zane are holding him down until he calms down. Here’s your case. What the hell are you doing dancing here? It’s not exactly the classiest of strip clubs. I can’t believe you’d let her do that Gabe?’

‘No neither can I,’ he replied firmly and looked back at me. ‘As of tonight that’s it, you’ve done.’

‘Gabe,’ I protested and struggled out of his arms.

‘No, Milo’s right, if he hadn’t been here tonight God only knows what would have happened. I was stuck behind a pile up and was late. I’m not risking you being here with a load of guys leering over you Mia, not anymore. It ends now.’

‘You don’t have the right to…’

‘Stop!’ he yelled making me jump. ‘I’m not going to argue with you in the street. Get in the car,
right now
,’ he ordered as he pointed at it.

‘No need to point, I know which your bloody car is,’ I muttered.

‘Now Mia, I’m not going to tell you again.’

‘But I need to thank Milo for looking…’

‘NOW,’ he barked. I pulled a face and mouthed ‘
Thank you’
at Milo and quickly did as I was told. I sat in the passenger seat and watched as I saw Gabe and Milo talking, talk about awkward. I cringed when I saw Gabe put both hands on his hips and Milo looked like he was raising his voice. He was shorter than Gabe, but with the weights he bench pressed I was sure if the two of them starting fighting they could both seriously hurt the other. Luckily both of them were distracted by Billy and Zane man handling Adam, his arms locked behind his back. I saw Gabe lunge at him and Milo quickly dragged him back. I closed my eyes and covered them. This was so fucked up. I heard the car door open and peaked through my fingers to see Gabe get in with a face of fury. He slammed it shut before starting the engine and roaring away before I even had a chance to see if Milo was ok.

‘Gabe?’

‘Not now. I’m
fucking
furious and I don’t want to lose it with you again Mia. No talking until I’ve calmed down,’ he snapped. I bit my lip and looked out of my window and sighed.

When we got home he opened my car door for me, grabbed my hand and yanked me out, leaving my case behind as he marched at a fast pace, all the way up to our front door. I braced myself in my head for a punishment fuck, it was a long time since I’d seen him this angry. He let go of my hand the minute we stepped inside and marched to the kitchen and got himself a bottle of water and stood with his back to me, his palms flat down either side of the sink. I felt my eyes filling up, I loved my job and I knew I was never going to be able to go back, not after this. Not if it was going to make him worry about me being confronted by someone again, to worry about Milo having seen me half-dressed doing what I did up there. I pulled off my heels, dropped my handbag and ran to the bathroom and shut the door. I started taking off my makeup as the tears started to flow, then quickly stripped off and got into bed, curling up on my side and hugging big boy the panda as I started sobbing properly. It wasn’t long before I felt the bed sink and his arms go around me. I quickly spun around and buried my face in the crook of his neck as I cried and he held me tightly and kissed my hair, hooking his leg over mine to keep me as close as possible.

‘You know I can’t let you go back don’t you?’ he said quietly. I nodded and cried myself to sleep as his hand rubbed up and down my back.

July

I knocked on Lexi’s door at 7 p.m. I felt slightly sick, my palms felt clammy and my heart was racing way too fast, I had a feeling my news was going to upset her. She opened it with a big grin.

‘Welcome to movie Tuesday with the Clarkester. Beer or wine?’

‘Wine please,’ I replied as she shut the door and I followed her into the kitchen. So how’s it going with you and Dan?’

‘The regular friends with benefits thing is working out really well for us. I don’t want a relationship, he doesn’t want one, we just booty call each other when we need a release.’

‘And how about Doug? Are you handling him seeing Sarah ok?’ I watched her carefully as she opened the bottle of Zinfandel, she pulled a face and shrugged.

‘Nothing to do with me whether he’s seeing someone is it?’

‘It’s his first girlfriend since you Lexi and you’re not over him yet, so it’s ok to have an opinion on the matter.’

‘What do you mean I’m not over him,’ she shot me a frown over her shoulder.

‘Lex it’s me,’ I sighed. ‘You don’t have to lie to me.’

‘He needs to move on Mia, I’m not in that place so why should he wait around?’

‘You’re not hurt or sad about it?’

‘Ok fine, it stings, is that what you want to hear? The thought of him laughing with her, showing her how he uses his camera, how he looks when he’s in his trunks practicing in the pool, the way he’s all caring and strokes my forehead when I’m feeling miserable … fuck, you’ve gone and done it haven’t you? I’m talking about me and him instead of her and him. I hate you Page,’ she muttered as she shoved a wine my way.

‘He’s the most important relationship you’ve had Lexi. You were friends before the great one time sex, he’s bound to have wormed his way deep into your heart. I’m just worried that it will be too late for you. I actually quite like this Sarah.’

‘Bitch, take that back,’ she uttered looking at me amazed.

‘She’s not going to fill the role of best friend, that position’s already taken.’

‘Damn right it is. Well I like her too, even when I hate her,’ she sighed. ‘I made my bed though, it was my choice to walk away so I can’t begrudge him moving on.’

‘Trying to move on Lex, I don’t think he’s over you either.’

‘Whatever. How about you? You seem a bit off.’

‘I’m fine,’ I replied with a shrug.

‘Fine, yeah, I know what that means. What’s he done now?’

‘Nothing,’ I said with a reassuring smile. ‘I mean he’s ramped up the protectiveness again, what with that fifth girl having been found, raped and …’ I shuddered as I remembered the reports all over the news. Her face had been smashed again and again until she was barely recognisable then she’d been dumped naked on Campus. The police had doubled their efforts to try and track this guy down, saying he was escalating. To make matters worse I was starting to get paranoid with Gabe getting so overprotective, I was even convinced that someone was watching me whenever I was out.

‘Yeah I know,’ Lexi sighed. ‘Got to say I’m glad you have a Gabe looking after you.’

‘Me too,’ I nodded. ‘I just really miss my dancing, I mean I have enough in my savings to keep me going for a while, but I need to get a job you know? I just have a feeling Gabe’s not going to let me get any sort of job until they catch this guy. Not after the last few months with the whole Adam and Milo situation either.’

‘Where you at on that?’

‘The police took all of our statements and gave Adam a warning to stay away from me. Gabe’s
still
a bit furious about it all. Partly at Milo for having been in the club and seeing me perform in the first place, but also because he had to admit that Milo being there had stopped anything worse happening. He’s still feeling guilty he wasn’t there to protect me and annoyed that he has to be grateful that Milo was. That has completely fried his brain.’

‘I’ll bet,’ Lexi laughed. I shook my head. I felt just as confused about it. Milo had insisted it was his first visit to the club in months and that he was just as stunned to see me on stage, that was why he hung around to talk to me after.

‘So why the face?’

‘What?’

‘You have talk face on. What do you need to get off that humungous chest of yours?’

‘My tits are average sized, why does everyone insist on calling them huge?’

‘Ermmm hello? Mine don’t even classify as fried eggs, yours are frickin’ water melons.’

‘Galia melons thank you. They are round and firm, not elongated and watery.’

‘Whatever, they’re still melon sized. So why the face?’

‘You know that I love you right?’

‘Yes.’

‘And that I’d never do anything to intentionally hurt you right?’


Yes,’
she frowned.

‘Well I need to tell you something and I don’t think you’re going to be happy to start with and ….’ I blew out a breath and grabbed my wine and drained it in one go.

‘O my God, you borrowed Orgie and broke him didn’t you?’ she uttered.

‘What?!’

‘My favourite vibrator. Don’t you have enough of your own?’

‘I haven’t
touched
your vibrator thank you very much. I have plenty of my own without resorting to a used one.’

‘No way, you couldn’t have found it,’ she gasped.

‘Found what?’

‘My secret Jelly Belly stash, it took me forever to find a hiding place for them.’

‘I’ve not been looking for your Jelly Belly stash Lex. Hang on a minute, you
hide
your Jelly Belly’s to stop your best friend finding them?’

‘You always go for my favourites and I end up left with shitty liquorice or grapefruit.’

‘O thanks a lot, so I’m not worthy of eating your Juicy Pears?’

‘Ha-ha, you
so
want lesbian sex with me, you’re dreaming of my Juicy Pears.’

‘I’m
not
dreaming of lesbian sex with anyone thank you, let alone with you Clarke. Besides, by your own self-admission you have no Juicy Pairs, unlike me. A lesbian looking for your tits would come up with a face on her like she’d just scoffed an entire kilo of Sour mix.’

‘Take that back you evil cow,’ she gasped and grabbed her glass of wine and threw it over me laughing.

‘Lexi!’ I spluttered as I pushed my wet hair back from my face in disbelief and she just smirked at me. ‘O you’re so asking for it now,’ I growled as I grabbed a tea towel and watched her face change from amusement to horror.

‘No,’ she screamed and ran for the hall. I chased after her and did a circuit around the lounge before she dived into my old bedroom and ran around the other side of the bed.

‘No way out Clarke, surrender and accept your punishment,’ I demanded.

‘No way, that tea towel
hurts
,’ she whined.

‘Should of thought of that before wasting good Zinfandel on me,’ I scowled.

‘Good Zinfandel?
Please
, this is me. That was a cheap bottle, you don’t deserve the good stuff after insulting my lack of tits,’ she chuckled as I gasped.

‘I hadn’t insulted your tits when you opened that bottle. So not only am I not allowed access to your Jelly Belly’s, but you also keep the good bottles of wine to yourself? You … tight arsed …
beanpole
.’

‘Wash your mouth out with soap. You know I
hate
being called that.’

‘I hate my best friend holding out on me. You’ll tell me you have Ben & Jerry’s in the freezer next, after I asked for some last night.’ I watched her face flush. ‘NO!’

‘It’s not like you couldn’t have gone to buy some yourself.’

‘I was in the middle of sex with Gabe, with him handcuffed to the headboard. It was to tease him with, I didn’t have time to get dressed and run out and leave him cuffed for half an hour. What if there’d been a fire?’

‘You could have undone his cuffs before you went.’

‘Yeah right. How little you know Gabe. Mr Control Freak doesn’t like giving up his control, do you have
any
idea what it took for me to get him cuffed in the first place? It’s the first time I’ve managed to restrain him since New York, no way was I letting him out of those cuffs.’

‘Well no way were you wasting my perfectly good ice cream on Gabe’s body.’

‘O trust me, it wouldn’t have been wasted, I’d have licked off every single drop.’


Ewwww
stop, you’re grossing me out now,’ she laughed. ‘Maybe they should come up with an appropriately named flavour for woman to eat off men, I mean men have
Phish Food
to eat out of women.’

‘Now
that’s
gross,’ I laughed, ‘but yes, they could have …
Cock Rising
for us.’

‘Enough of the food and sex talk or I’ll need to get Orgie out and you moved all the decent rechargeable batteries next door.’

‘I needed them.’

‘You have Gabe, I’m a single sex starved poor bar tender.’

‘Sex starved my arse. You’re fucking Dan, Sam when he’s in the UK and don’t think I hadn’t seen you sneaking off to the store room at Peppers with Kellan.’

‘You have the eyes of a … a …
mole
,’ she exclaimed and I burst out laughing.

‘Moles are blind Lexi.’

‘No they’re not.’

‘Yes they are.’

‘Well how do they see in all those underground tunnels? I figured they must have really good eyesight.’

‘Well they don’t.’

‘So what has really good eyesight,’ she demanded with her hands on her hips.

‘Well I would say a Hawk as that’s where the expression comes from.’

‘What expression?’

‘Eyes like a Hawk,’ I laughed.

‘O sod off Miss know it all,’ she glared.

‘I’m not Miss “know it all” just sometimes you’re Miss I make stupid comments or Miss I ask stupid questions.’

‘If I make it out of here you’re getting the whole bottle of wine poured on your head. I don’t ask stupid questions.’


Really.’
 I uttered.

‘Name one,’ she challenged.

‘O I can name three off the top of my head. “Mia what are those shoes that horses wear called?” then there was “how can a grape be sharp when it’s round” and my all-time favourite about Mum’s antique walnut writing desk in the hall, “How do they make that big desk out of all the little walnuts”’ I laughed.

She took me by surprise and leapt up onto my old mattress and tried to make it to the door, but I flicked the tea towel and caught her right on the backside making her scream. She grabbed a pillow and started smacking me over the head as I tried to flick her again and I fell on the bed laughing and covering my head as she towered over me raining down blows until the pillow split and feathers flew out everywhere. I closed my eyes and tried to spit them out of my mouth, while protecting my head from the blows, until I realised they weren’t coming anymore. I lowered my arms and opened my eyes and shrieked as I saw her tip a bottle and empty it all over my head.

‘Take that Page, see why I only buy cheap Zinfandel.’

‘Lexi,’ I howled with tears of laughter pouring down my face. I was sticky and soaked and covered in feathers. She burst out laughing and collapsed on the bed next to me as I tried to push my wet fringe out of my eyes.

‘Serves you right, I have a big welt on my backside and I don’t have any sexy padding like you. Christ you smell just like my mum did every morning,’ she grinned at me. I gulped as the reason for my worry earlier caught up with me. It was now or never.

‘I found your Dad,’ I stated as I looked at her. She blinked a few times as she stared back at me. ‘Did you hear me? I found your Dad Lexi.’ I reached into the back pocket of my denim shorts and pulled out the front page of the report that the PI had done for me, with all Mr Clarke’s contact details, and held it out to her. I watched confused as her eyes filled up and she sat up, ignoring it. ‘Lexi?’ I sat up and touched her shoulder and she shrugged me off.

‘I’m not in the mood for films. I want you to go,’ she said quietly and I winced. I’d steeled myself for a bad reaction, but that hurt.

‘He doesn’t know where you are, I decided not to contact him. I just wanted to find him for you so you had the choice if you did want to speak to him. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. I love you and just want the best for you. You know where I am if you need me.’ I kissed the top of her head. I knew her well enough to know she needed time on her own to process this. She’d come to me and talk when she was ready. ‘His contact information is on the bed and I have a full report if you ever want to see it. I won’t deadbolt our door tonight in case you need to come in ok?’

I detected a slight nod from her and sighed. I kissed her temple and got up and headed back to mine, quietly closing her front door behind me. I walked into our apartment to find Doug and Gabe playing pool and they both looked at me astonished and burst out laughing.

‘O baby, what the hell happened? You look like a feathered mascot.’

‘That bad?’ I asked as I stood in my soaked black vest top and spat another feather off my lip.

‘That bad,’ nodded Doug as he continued to laugh.

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