Love me if you dare (13 page)

“No
… Lord no, not that!  Not you! Oh, honey … come here.”  He pulled her tenderly
in his arms and rocked her like a baby.  His eyes filled with terror at what
she must have gone through.  She clutched at him desperately, as if she would
never let him go.

“Nico,
I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to …”

“I
know … I know … shh … it all okay now.”

“It’s
just that … I thought you … you always made me feel so warm, so desired … and
if you were the one to make love to me, I would be able to forget, to get over
my fear … but …”

“But
I lost control and became impatient.  I am sorry, my baby, but you were so
beautiful so passionate … and so hot!  I couldn’t help myself.”  She covered
his lips with her fingers.

“It’s
not your fault.”

“Maybe,
but if knew, I would have been gentle, less rushed, patient.  Don’t you think
it is time you talked about it?”

She
startled, reached down and pulled the sheet over them, tugging the edge under
her arms.  She leaned over and switched on the bedside lamps and watched the
room softly illuminating, before she looked at him.

For
long moments she looked at him, his hair tousled and he suddenly looked much
younger than his thirty five years. She reached up to gently stroke his cheek
and he leaned into her touch.

“I
can’t really remember all that much, only … only ...” She shuddered at the
memories and he pulled her in his arms to fold them around her protectively.  
Her hands stroked his forearms while she gathered her thoughts.

“I
remember waking up on the floor.  I was inside a lush, very posh apartment in
the … the bedroom.  He walked in and I was relieved.”

“You
knew him?”

“I 
… I thought I did!  But I was wrong, we were all wrong!  None of us knew him! 
He was a monster!  And … and I can’t even blame anyone but myself!  The look in
his eyes … blatant desire and lust … He came over to me and grabbed me by my
hair, pulled me up and kissed me. So hard and so … rough that my lips were cut
on the inside and the one side of my mouth tore open.”   She swallowed, her
eyes glazed over.

“I
cried and pleaded with him to stop.  I couldn’t understand, he was always so
kind, a gentleman.  He laughed in my face and then ripped my dress from my
body.  I went crazy and fought him, but I felt so weak and was no match for his
strength and the worst of it was, he enjoyed it, he laughed all the time!”

Nicolas’s
arms had tightened around her so much she could hardly breathe, but she held on
to his arms, drawing the strength she needed from him to continue.

“To
my horror he tied my one hand to the bedpost and stood laughing at me as I
tried to get loose.  He removed his clothes and I was beside myself, I stared
in horror at his fully aroused body.   I was still a virgin, and it was the
first time I ever saw an aroused man and he was so big!”  She drew a deep
breath, forcing herself to continue.

“He
was brutal, intending only on satisfying his own lust.  When I cried and told
him I was a virgin, he laughed even louder, his excitement increased and he had
a wild look in his eyes.  I cried and pleaded.  He didn’t touch any part of my
body, except … except … first he wrenched my legs apart and sat between them so
I couldn’t close them and he … he used his fingers.  He rammed them inside me
with so much force … he … he tore the skin inside my … with his nails.  He took
great joy in my pain and when he noticed the blood from the scratches, he did
it again … and … again …, deliberately tearing my skin with his nails with so
much force, I passed out from the pain.”  She was breathing haggardly and
Nicolas had gone deadly quiet next to her.

“I
woke up much later, alone on the bed, my hand was loose and he was gone, but I
felt so groggy, I … hurt so much … I could not get up from the bed.”

His
voice grated through his lips, dread filled his heart and the anger that
shimmered inside him was deadly.

“When
… when did this happen.”

She
was quiet for so long, he thought she was not going to answer him.

“When
I was twenty one.” His arms tightened around her to the point of pain.

“Who? 
Who was he?”

She
pulled out of his arms and turned to face him.  “Maybe … maybe you should not
…”

“WHO,
SAMANTHA!”  She winced when he shouted at her.  Tears fell unhindered to her
breasts.

“You
… you and Dad found me … after …”

His
whole body turned to stone, his face lost all its color and his eyes filled
with hatred, even before she finished the sentence.  His hands balled into
fists on his lap.  His voice was strained and so very soft.

“Jason
Wieldman … Oh God!” 

He
tore from the bed and ran to the bathroom.  Samantha leaned back against the
pillows her arms tight around her waist, the tears still falling silently down
her face.  She winced when she heard Nicolas retching in the bathroom, then
sobbed when he released a tortured cry that shook the windows. The sound of
breaking glass and more cries pulled her from the self-pity and she rushed to the
bathroom.

Nicolas
was in a rage and threw everything he could get his hands on against the walls,
glass shattering everywhere as most of what he found was glass pots and
holders.  He noticed her as she walked towards him.

“Stop! 
You’ll cut your feet.” 

His
eyes were wild, his chest heaving and tears were running down his cheeks.  She
shook her head and started toward him, but he reached her first.  He picked her
up and walked to the comfortable chair in her reading nook.  He sat down with
her on his lap, pulled her close and buried his face in her neck.

Her
arms folded around his back and she held on to him, stroking his back, trying
to stem the flow of tears.  She stroked his hair and she felt the sobs shaking
his body, his arms tightened around her and his hands dug into her hips.

“Nico,
please don’t.  It is over now.  I can’t tell how relieved I feel from having
talked about it. Please, honey, stop.”

He
pulled a ragged breath and breathed deeply to control his emotions. He lifted
his head and the look in his eyes were so tortured she took his head in her
hands and kissed his eyelids, then dried his tears with her kisses until she
settled a tender, soft kiss on his lips.

“We
should have listened to you.  I should have made them listen to you.  Something
bothered me about the whole thing!  From when we were told where you were to
how we found you.  I knew something didn’t add up, but I was so livid finding
you in his apartment in his bed, with the clear evidence that you gave … gave …
oh God, what a joke … your virginity to him, that I stopped thinking straight.”

He
kissed her deeply, his strength seeping into her and she relaxed against him.
He pushed her head against his shoulder and he leaned with his head against the
back of the chair, his legs stretched out in front of him.  He turned her
around so that she was laying on top of him, her legs draped over his.

“I’ll
never be able to make up for this.  Never!  But I …”

“Nicolas,
stop!  It was not your fault!”

“Wasn’t
it?  You were so upset with me that night for ignoring you after I kissed you,
you deliberately flirted with him.”

“You
… you knew?”

“Of
course I knew.  You were still so young and naïve, I should have known better!”

“Please,
let’s just forget about this for now.  I am so tired … I need to sleep.”  He
nodded and pulled her closer to him, gently caressing her back until she became
lax against him and fell into a deep sleep.

He
sat with her like that until the sun was high in the midmorning sky, staring
into nothingness, his face a mask of anger and regret.  He rose with her still
clutched in his arms, walked over to the bed and gently laid her down.  He
pulled the sheet up to cover her and leaned over to place a gentle kiss on her
brow. He stood looking down at her for moments longer, then turned and walked
to his room, anger in every step.

Samantha
was disoriented when she woke up.  She sat up slowly, stretched her upper body
and noticed that the sun was already at mid-morning height.  She had hoped
Nicolas would still be with her and cringed.

Would
he change towards her now? Now that he knew what her irresponsible actions six
years ago led to?  She sighed wearily and bit her lip until it ached.  If he
did, she would not be able to blame him.  Was that not exactly what she herself
did?  And in all honesty, there was no denying, if she did not flirt so openly
with Jason Wieldman, she never would have ended up alone with him.

She
frowned.  Now that she allowed herself to open up about what happened,
everything all of a sudden became clearer.  How did she end up at his
apartment?  She distinctly remembered that she declined his eloquent offer to
rid her of her virginity; as a matter of fact, was highly insulted and told him
so.  She even apologized for the innocent flirtation!

She
shook off the memories, but the questions flew at her from all directions all
the time she was under the shower.  She dressed in a pair of white jeans and a
short loose red t-shirt, which left a considerable span of stomach open.  On
her feet she wore a pair of flat white thongs and pulled her hair back in a
pony high at the back of her head.  She decided to leave her face fresh and
free of make-up and made her way downstairs.

The
whole house was ensconced in silence and she frowned.  Where was everybody? 
She heard voices in the kitchen and headed that way, where she found Mary and
Clara in a hushed conversation.

Mary’s
face lit up when she noticed Samantha and smiled broadly.  “You’re awake!  We
though you would sleep the whole weekend away and Nicolas threatened us with
all kinds of torture if we dared wake you up.”

“It’s
only eleven, Mary!”

“On
Sunday, love,” Mary said in a hushed tone.

“Sunday! 
I slept a whole day and night …  and half of … my goodness!  Why didn’t you
wake me!”

“You
just missed the part where I said Nicolas threatened us with torture if we
did?” she retorted drily and smiled broadly.

“You
are looking so much better.  The sleep did you wonders!”

“I
feel like a new sixpence and I am starving.  Is there any chance of some
breakfast, Clara?”

Clara,
bless her soul, was already busy preparing, by the looks of it, a six course
breakfast!

Later,
with a full tummy, she prowled through the house and realized that Mary who
usually freely shared information had been very closed mouth about Nicolas’s
absence. She went to look for her and found her picking roses in the garden.

“Mary,
where is Nicolas?”  Her expression became closed.  “Mary?”

“He
has been like a bear with a sore tooth the last day or so, dearie.  He left
yesterday morning with clear instructions to not disturb you and then left here
in a huff.  Came back after sunset with a banged up face, hardly ate anything
then went to sit in the chair by you bed.  He left again early this morning. 
He had this … quietness within him … an eerie viciousness waiting to be
unleashed.”

“A
… a … banged up face?”

Mary
brushed her concern aside.  “Ah no, dearie, don’t worry none about that little
swelling on his cheek, it’s his hands that I worried about.  It looked as
though he beat them against a brick wall; they were so torn and bleeding.”

Samantha’s
face went white and dread gripped her heart.  “Do …do you know where he went
this morning?”

She
shook her head, continuing her search for roses to pick.  “No and I didn’t ask,
but he did mutter something about vermin and leeches … oh goodness, you don’t
think we have bugs in the house do you?”

Samantha
could not help but laugh at Mary’s expression.  “No, Mary, I seriously doubt
that bugs could have caused his banged up face and hands!”

Worry
for Nicolas turned her insides to churn, especially as his cellphone was on
voicemail.  Where was he?  What was he busy with?  Leaving messages did not
help, yet she did, the worry clearly discernible in her voice.

Listlessness
carried her to the stables after a light lunch and she asked Billy to saddle
Stargazer for her.  “I am going to the pond on the south side for a swim.  I
will probably only be back around sunset, so please don’t send a search party
for me.  Please let Mary know though, she does tend to worry overly much.”

The
pond was on the side of a small hill and as beautiful as she remembered with
lush green grass, natural large boulders all around and large willow and palm
trees, encasing it in a little private paradise.  The water was clear and you
could see all the way to the bottom.  The pond was fishless and perfect for
swimming. With all the large trees and palms around a large part of the pond
were in the shadows at any time of the day.

She
put a purple bikini on under her clothes before she left and now quickly took
her top and pants off to dive into the clear cool water.  Stargazer grazed
undisturbed where she tethered him under the trees.

The
cool water and gentle breeze relaxed her soul and she lazily floated on her
back, her eyes watching the swaying branches and the little birds twittering
and playing in the trees.

She
was so relaxed she nearly fell asleep until the birds flew up in distress and
she heard Stargazer nickering softly. She dropped her legs and pulled up to
turn around.  Her breathing stopped when she recognized Nicolas on a big black
stallion.  He pulled the reins in and jumped easily from the impossibly big
horse to tether him next to Stargazer.  The two horses nickered at each other
and swished their tails, but both dropped their nozzles to graze on the lush
greenery.

Nicolas
turned around and pulled his shirt up and off his body, his hands dropped
immediately to unbutton his jeans and he hardly stopped to pull them off his
legs.  By the time he hurled his shoes off Samantha was walking towards him on
the shallow end, the clear blue water swirling around her knees.  His eyes
sizzled down her delectable, wicked body and his already aroused shaft
tightening painfully in his jockeys at the sight of her near naked body.

They
met at the edge of the water and walked into each other’s arms.  His folded
around hers to pull her frantically close, hers clutched at his broad back and
their mouths met in a scorching kiss.  He could not get enough of her sweetness
and groaned, going deeper, forcing her mouth wider; searching for her soul with
his kiss.

His
head dropped to bury his lips in her neck and his breathing was haggard. 
Samantha pulled his head back and her eyes worried over his face, her fingers
stroking softly over the purple swelling on his temple.

“What
have you done?”  Her eyes searched for answers in his hooded gaze.  He shook
his head.

“Let
us not waste time on unpleasantness.  Now, here, and from this point forward I
only want good memories for you … for us …”

His
head lowered and he set out to make her forget about all the pain she suffered
over the years alone.  That was what bothered him the most; that she had to
deal with what happened alone and with no support from those who were supposed
to have loved her! 

He
drew her to the lush green grass under the protection of a large willow tree,
spreading the blanket he brought with him and pulled her down to immediately
lean over her and kiss her until her toes curled.  He realized very early on
how extremely sensitive her nipples were and he set out to reduce her to a
puddle of need and lust to equal his own.  He had to draw on his control,
realizing that the numerous times he masturbated last night were not nearly
enough to reduce his need for her.  He knew he would have to take his time with
her, and needed to release some of the pent-up lust in his shaft.   It worked
to a degree, until he slapped his eyes on her in those silly triangles that
barely covered her body.

Those
silly triangles were dispersed of the moment he pulled her on the blanket, his
hands searing her body, which by now was sensitized all over and her moans
emanated around them, husky, then rugged and finally pleading.  He lifted his
head and looked down into her eyes, which were half closed and her need for him
clear for him to see.  He looked around and cursed when he saw his jeans a
distance away.  He placed a soft kiss on her lips. 

“Don’t
move, baby, I’ll be right back.”  He jumped up and she watched the muscles in
his legs and tight bum as he jogged to his jeans, to pull out something from
the pocket.  When he turned her mouth went dry.  He wore black Calvin Klein
jockeys that molded to his hips; his arousal bulging large against the
confining material and she watched it jolt when he came closer and noticed her
gaze fixed on his crotch.

He
came down next to her and took her face in his hands, forcing her eyes to his,
placing a feather soft kiss on her lips.  The smile on his lips was tender.

“Samantha,
I have been in a state of constant arousal since the day I saw you at your
fathers’ funeral.  I have not wanted any other woman since, nor have I been
with anyone for close on a year and it has been agony.  I desperately need
you!  I need to bury myself deep inside you, to make you mine, to KNOW you are
mine.  I also need you to understand that however much I tried to reduce my
raging need for you over the past two days, I still might lose control when I
am finally inside you.”

His
gaze refused to let her go, no matter how her cheeks reddened at his direct
talk.  It warmed her heart that he still wanted her so much after …

“You
reduced your need?  And how exactly did you do that”

He
smiled at her possessive outburst and that it was the only thing she took to
heart from everything he just told her.

“Not
how you are clearly thinking!  Don’t you trust me even a little, baby? I
masturbated … more times than I ever did as a young school boy!”  He laughed at
her blush and then he turned serious, his hand lazily pulling at her nipple.

“I
will never hurt you, my love, never. And if you want me to stop, all you have
to do is say so. But I cannot wait any longer to at least try.”

“And
what if … what if I freeze when you’re inside me and I ask you then?”  She
asked in a small voice.

“It
will probably kill me, but yes, even then.”   His eyes glowed and his voice
dropped.  “For all you went through, you are for all intent and purposes still
a virgin, which is why you have been so responsive and unable to control your
passion every time I touched you and I am elated that I am the one to unleash
your passion and wantonness.”

Then
he stopped talking and set out to make her body sing.  His hands caressed her
everywhere, drawing deep moans and cries from her lips, and she shivered under
his expert hands.  Her skin felt alive, it tingled in the wake of his hands,
his lips as they trailed the path his hands weaved, down her back, over her
buttocks, all the way down her legs and back up, eliciting tortured moans from
deep within her soul.  Nicolas wanted to taste every inch of her body and could
not get enough of the taste of her. He whispered his desire in her ear, melting
her heart even further.

He
turned her on her back and his hand slowly caressed her stomach to follow with
his mouth, lower over the flat plane below her navel, then down the one leg and
back up the other.  His fingers lazily drew small circles closer and closer to
her core on her inner thigh and she stiffened, but he moved away and his tongue
dipped in her navel, forcing a low mewl from her, at the same time feathering
his finger over her bald mound.  She sighed and her hips lifted instinctively
towards the touch.

He
slowly pushed his one leg between hers and pulled hers apart, inch by inch,
until she relaxed and allowed him to pull her legs wide open.  His hand dropped
and drew small circles on her thigh, and on the inside where her leg met the
apex between to softly caress with his fingers from the bottom of her inner leg
slowly upwards to the top, only to feather over her mound and stroke down the
other side.  He hesitated, his mouth now sucking loudly on her one nipple, his
eyes trained on her face.  He allowed his fingers to softly caress over her
feminine folds, so soft she didn’t feel it at first, then with more pressure
and she stiffened, her eyes surged open and her whole body tensed.  He moved
his hand to her mound to softly rest it there, moving to her other nipple and
sucking fiercely, pulling her nipple upwards and gently nibbling on the tip.

Her
moans increased and he continued until she moved restlessly below him again. 
He pulled her nipple deep in his mouth and released it with a pop and she cried
out in ecstasy, her hips rising to press against his lax palm covering her
mound. Suddenly the heat of his body left her and her hands reached for him.

“Nico
… NICOLAS!”  She shouted and looked down at him in shock.  He had settled
between her legs, pushed his hands under her hips to caress her stomach, his
chin resting negligently on her naked mound.  She wriggled, trying to escape
his hold, but he held fast.

“Easy,
baby.  I promised I will never hurt you, but you are still scared.”  He lifted
his hands and wiggled his fingers at her before he closed them around he
breasts.