Love on the Lifts (11 page)

I really wanted to go out on the deck for some heavy thinking. But the wind was still howling and the snow still flying.

“You ever been in love?” I asked.

“Been in
like
plenty of times.”

I peered over at him.

“Never in love,” he admitted.

“Same here. I wonder how you know when you're in love.”

“You just know.”

I chuckled. There were those two little
words—
just know
. But for some reason, they didn't irritate me.

“I've got something for you,” Joe said quietly.

And I thought here it is, here comes the kiss. But I was wrong. I watched him stretch out and grab his duffle bag that he kept beside the recliner. Poor guy didn't even have a place to keep his clothes. How much more hospitable could my brother and I be?

“There's some empty drawers in the dresser in my bedroom,” I said. “Why don't you put your things in there tomorrow?”

“Okay. Thanks.”

“It's no big deal. You're using that bathroom to get ready in the morning. Might as well hang your stuff in my closet, too.”

“Okay.”

He unzipped a side pouch, removed a bag that I recognized, the bag he'd been holding the first day at A Novel Place. He pulled out a bookmark and handed it to me.

It was clear, a tiny purple and white flower pressed inside.

“I saw that and thought that since you like to read, maybe you'd like to have it. Then I chick
ened out of giving it to you, because I thought that since you like to read, you probably have a hundred bookmarks—”

“No,” I said, cutting him off, thinking how sweet he was. “I don't have any bookmarks. I'm always using whatever scrap of paper is handy when I stop reading. This is beautiful. Thank you.” I rose up on my knees, leaned toward him, and kissed him briefly on the lips. “I have to go to bed now.”

I got up, clutching the bookmark to my chest like it was an entire bouquet of roses. “Thanks, again.”

I hurried into my bedroom. Just as I'd surmised, Aunt Sue was sitting up in bed reading.

“Thought you were tired,” I said. “Thought you were going to bed.”

“Changed my mind.”

I went to the nightstand, picked up my book, took out the grocery receipt that I was using to mark my place, and slipped the beautiful bookmark inside. Then I went into the bathroom and got ready for bed. When I came out, the lights were turned off.

I climbed into bed and lay there staring into the darkness.

“Aunt Sue?” I finally whispered.

“Yes, hon?”

“How many times have you been in love?”

“Just once.”

“How did you know?”

“I just knew.”

Great. What kind of answer was that from an experienced person?

“Were you scared?”

“Terrified.”

Wonderful. Because the feelings I was starting to have for Joe were certainly bordering on terrifying. Definitely stronger than what I'd felt for Brad. Almost overwhelming.

“Sweet dreams,” Aunt Sue said.

Yeah, right. To dream, you had to sleep.

I had a feeling thoughts of Joe were going to keep me awake the rest of the night.

“W
e have to stop meeting like this.”

These were Aunt Sue's words to me as I came into A Novel Place just as the sun was starting to show itself. Even as I took a stool at the counter, she placed my mug of morning mint chocolate in front of me—already warmed, like she'd been expecting me.

The paper was spread out before her. But this morning she was working on a crossword puzzle, not reading ads.

The week had progressed nicely. I hardly ever thought about Brad anymore, mostly because I never saw him. I was spending more time on the slopes with Joe. Our relationship hadn't moved beyond friendship, but something there always seemed to be waiting.
I couldn't explain it.

Since the night of the storm, it seemed like I was seeing less of my friends. Leah was busy with her private lessons and Ian. I think the private lessons had been moved off the slopes to his apartment. She seldom had supper with us. Allie and Sam were always hanging out together at the Avalanche or a movie or who knew where. I'd tried spending my evenings with Aunt Sue, but I always started to feel guilty that we'd abandoned Joe, so eventually I would invite him over.

I mean,
Law and Order
reruns can only entertain you for so long.

He and Aunt Sue got along really well. We'd play poker, usually Texas Hold'em. I was always the first to lose all my chips. Aunt Sue and Joe would duke it out. Some nights one would take the pot, some nights the other would. The Kate-have-a-good-time fund had dwindled down to pennies.

The night before, Joe and I had finished searching every nook, cranny, shelf, wall, and door of the bookstore for Michael. We'd thought about giving it one more shot but patience wasn't
my strong suit. So I'd decided this morning was
the
morning that I got the answer from Aunt Sue.

“Tell me about Michael,” I demanded. “Joe said there's a picture of him hanging in the store. Which one is it?”

“Now, Kate, where's the fun in telling you? Besides, if I tell you, what will you and Joe do in the afternoons after you come down off the slopes?”

“We'll think of something. Come on. Tell me.”

“But I like seeing you and Joe together.”

I knew it. She'd probably never been serious about anyone named Michael. She was simply playing matchmaker.

“We've been skiing together,” I assured her. “And we played poker at your place last night.”

She peered at me. “Joe and I played poker. Your chips were gone in fifteen minutes.”

“So I don't have a poker face.”

“No, you don't. You never did. I can always tell exactly what you're thinking, and I think everyone else can, too.”

“Everyone except Brad,” I stated.

She gave me a pointed look.

I held up my hand. “I'm totally over him, so I don't need you playing matchmaker. Now where is Michael's photo?”

“It's in my office.”

I stared at her, unable to believe that she'd given in so easily. “In your office? You told Joe that it was hanging on a wall in the store.”

“My office is in the store.”

“Not really.”

I hopped off the stool, started toward the end of the counter, stopped, and gazed back at her. She was standing there, just watching me.

“Is it okay if I look?” I asked.

“Sure.”

I thought about calling Joe. I had my cell phone in the zippered pocket of my jacket, but for some reason I didn't want to share this moment. All these years and Aunt Sue had never told me about this guy.

I went around the counter and through the door that led into her office. Even though I'd been there a hundred times before, I'd forgotten that there were like a thousand pictures on the walls. Okay, not a thousand, but at least two dozen.

These were different from the ones in the main area of the store, though.

These were pictures of Aunt Sue with my mom. Aunt Sue with me. Aunt Sue with Sam. Aunt Sue with both of us. Aunt Sue with my grandparents. Aunt Sue with…

Oh, my gosh. This had to be Michael. Aunt Sue was young. And so was he.

She was nestled up against his side. Both of them with broad smiles on their faces. In ski jackets with the mountains in the background. Here. At Snow Angel Valley.

I heard a quiet sound. I turned to find Aunt Sue standing there, looking at the picture that I was looking at. A wistful expression on her face. And I knew.

“He's dead, isn't he?” I said quietly. “That's the reason you didn't marry him.”

She nodded.

“How?” I asked.

“We were college seniors. We came here for winter break. With some friends. He and another guy decided to be adventuresome, do some off-trail skiing. There was an avalanche.”

“I'm so sorry, Aunt Sue—”

“It was a long time ago, Kate.”

“Still, I'm sorry, and I'm sorry that I insisted you tell me about him. That I didn't respect your right to have your secrets.”

She moved up and put her arm around me. “He was never a secret, but sometimes it's hard to tell people about him.”

“How could you stay here?”

“How could I leave? Do you know, Katie, that on cold winter nights I can still hear his laughter coming down off the mountains? We loved it here. He once told me that he didn't want to die while sitting in front of the TV. He wanted a life of adventure. He wanted to go to novel places.”

A Novel Place.

“Is that the reason you travel the world?” I asked.

“I travel the world because there is so much to see, so much to experience. And because I don't want to die sitting in front of a TV, either.”

I hugged her tightly. “I love you, Aunt Sue.”

“I love you, too, sweetie.”

She wiped the tear from my cheek. “No tears now, Katie. I've had other guys in my
life, just none like Michael. The important thing is for you to go out and enjoy life. Get cozy with a ski instructor or Sam's friend. Don't wait for life to tap you on the shoulder. Go out and tap
it
.”

 

Tap life on the shoulder. Aunt Sue made it sound so easy. I didn't think I was doing a terrible job of it. Okay, I had hid out for a while and moped about Brad. But I was over that. I was making progress. Today I wanted to go to the top of Devil's Peak and shout at the top of my lungs.

When we arrived at the ski resort, we did our usual pairing: Leah off to take her private lessons, Allie and Sam off to do their thing, Joe and I to take the ski lift to the slopes.

It was a long journey to the top.

“You're awfully quiet this morning,” he finally said. “You okay?”

Was I? I thought so. I was amazed, though, that he always seemed so good at reading me. I suppose I shouldn't have been, no poker face and all that, but still he seemed to better than most.

“Just distracted,” I admitted.

“Anything I can help you with?”

I looked over at him. At his serious eyes. The way he was studying me with true concern.

Joe and I were friends. Which I was beginning to think was the only thing I was going to find this winter break. Friendship.

Not a bad thing, I guessed. Unless you're hankering for more.

“I found out about Michael,” I said quietly. I took a deep breath. “He was killed in an avalanche. Right here at Snow Angel Valley. When Aunt Sue was really young.”

“Geez. Total bummer.”

“I know. I feel badly that I insisted she tell me, even though she says she's okay with it.”

“Kate, you shouldn't feel bad. She must have wanted you to know or she never would have brought him up to begin with. I mean, she was the one who first mentioned him, right?”

I nodded.

“So she was ready to tell you about him.”

“I guess so.” I couldn't even begin to imagine Brad trying to console me like that.

“I can't believe your aunt never found anyone else.”

How typical of a guy to think love was just about moving on. I'd read somewhere once that when a man lost his wife, he looked for a replacement. When a woman lost her husband, she looked for love again. It was that whole men are from Mars thing. They just so don't get it.

“I don't think she wanted to find a replacement for him.”

He grimaced. “I didn't mean to sound insensitive. I just mean she's totally cool. I would have thought any number of guys would have been interested in her.”

“She's dated a lot. I've even met some of the guys. And she always seemed to have a good time with them. But I guess she wants more than that in marriage. I don't know. I guess for it to really work, the intensity of the feelings have to go both ways, you know?”

It seemed like at that minute he was trying to search deep into my soul.

“Yeah, I know.” He looked forward. “Get ready.”

I hadn't realized that we'd already arrived at the drop-off point. Even though it seemed like
I'd done this a hundred times, I always felt this little adrenaline rush when I shoved myself off the seat and landed on the small slope leading away from lift. I had to be quick so the chair didn't knock me down and I had to get out of the way so the next person in line could disembark.

Deep breath—

And I was off, skiing down the slight incline, always amazed that I didn't fall on my butt or make a fool of myself. That little thrill of self-accomplishment.

Joe was beside me, all the way down the short run.

Then we made our way to the line at Devil's Peak, waiting our turn to go down the awesome trail. I could see the tree line. Devil's Peak led to various tree-lined trails, with many turns, lots of powder. The line of people moved quickly, because you didn't have to wait for the person in front of you to reach the bottom.

You just kinda took your bearings, then you were off.

“Meet you at the bottom,” I said to Joe. Then I shoved off.

Skiing is a real trip. It's about freedom and speed.

But it can also be dangerous because of the speed, the unforeseen terrain. Actors, politicians, sons of politicians. They all make the news when they have a skiing accident. You have to stay focused.

I wasn't focused.

I was thinking about Aunt Sue and Michael. I was thinking about loving someone that much. I was thinking about living life to the fullest. I was thinking about Joe. I was thinking about the kiss he gave me, the kiss he almost gave me. I was wondering why I was afraid of letting myself go with him, of letting him know that I was beginning to think of him as more than a friend. I was thinking about everything except what I was doing.

So once I was down past the tree line onto the narrower trail, I took the first curve a little faster than I should have, lost my balance—

Struggled to slow down, to remain upright—

Lost the battle.

Hit the ground hard. Slid a few feet before coming to a stop.

Heard a yell.

Saw a flash of movement.

Watched as a skier tumbled past me.

His momentum carried him farther.

The trees stopped him.

He just lay there.

Not moving.

My heart leaped into my throat. My chest tightened painfully. I couldn't breathe.

I stared at the fallen skier and all I could think was
No! No! No!

It was Joe.