Love Renewed (Entwined Hearts #3) (2 page)

Dropping my head under the shower stream, the red water runs through my toes before swirling down the drain. The release I felt tonight was twisted. I used to be this person, but I’ve been doing everything in my power to move away, letting Jenson take on the bulk of the work and having Dex running between the two of us. Today, though, that was something I had to deal with. It gave me pleasure to know that fucker will never hurt anyone else. Ever.

Tomorrow, I have to face them all and do it with a smile.

“I’m glad you came over,” Pea tells me softly. I look down. Her brown eyes—my brown eyes—are big and soft and full of love. For me. Love that I don’t deserve, but fuck, I’m taking it anyway.

“Me too Sunshine,” I reply putting my arm around her waist and pulling her into my side.

“I think Eleanor needs changing,” Soph says walking over with the little bundle in her arms. She hands her off to her mum while wrinkling her nose at the smell. We both watch Pea light up as she holds her daughter, whisking her off to change her bum. Soph then looks over to Saul, who’s talking to Con, she bites her lip.

I give her a minute before saying, “What is it Tink?” I know what she’s thinking. I can read people. It’s part of what makes me so good at what I do. Her eyes widen, surprised that I know what she’s doing. Not one to be shocked for long she pulls her shoulders back and turns herself slightly, moving away from her boyfriend.

“When are you going to talk to me about Libby?” she asks and I feel my walls coming up. “Stop,” she tells me grabbing my hand, “I know, remember…
I know.
We talked and I remember your pain, you told me things…things that you haven’t told the others. I’m here and I’m willing to listen. Please talk to me, Dane. I can see your pain.” I swallow the boulder in my throat, it’s not from emotion like normal people would feel, my blockage is from years of
not
talking to people, years of
not
showing emotion. Unlocking something that’s imprinted on my brain is fucking hard. I look over to Saul, my brother. I love him, I never thought it’d be possible. I hated him once. Thinking he took my life from me, one that I should have had, but he has shown me that he’s a man with compassion, a man who can forgive, a man that I want to strive to be like.

“You think you can get away from lover boy for five minutes, Tink?” I ask her with a practiced grin that masks everything. She nods, even though I’m not looking at her, I can see it out of the corner of my eye. “Okay, come over tomorrow, you still got the spare key to my place?” I question already knowing the answer.

“Aha,” she replies

“Right, tomorrow ten-thirty in the morning.” She nods.

“You keeping my future wife all to yourself?” Saul chuckles lifting Soph up and spinning her round. I think what they have is amazing. I once thought I could have that with Soph, and although she’s beautiful, she belongs with Saul. Anyway, when Nova came back into my life I knew, right in that second of recognition, that there was never going to be anyone else. It was and always will be her. She’s burned into my soul. I just wish she could remember. Now I feel like I’m going to snap all the time. The people in this room are the only ones who keep me levelled at the moment. Without them, I’m lost.

Pushing through the burn, my feet pound the pavement. It’s a steady noise. Focusing on that helps me forget about the rest, everything else going on in my life, it all sounds like white noise, clogging my thoughts. My phone vibrates in my pocket, but it will have to wait. I need to block everything out. I used to be able to do that without thinking, I could just switch it on and off, but it’s been harder lately. I’ve only got myself to blame. I took a step forward, straight into multiple relationships that I could have avoided. Thinking Pea needed saving and I guess in a way she did. But when I saw Pea, I was thinking about Elizabeth, Libby.
Huh Libby.

Fuck! I don’t even know her name anymore.

Not that I wouldn’t have tried to save my sister anyway. She’s probably the most important person in my life now. Although they all keep me grounded. I need that.

My life was getting away from me before them. I was letting too much darkness seep in.

Rounding the last corner and seeing Dex standing outside my house, I come to a stop in front of him, grinding my teeth. “I told you. Never at my house.” It must be nearly ten, Soph could be here any moment.

“Sorry sir. I needed to get hold of you and wasn’t able to reach you on the phone,” he says taking a step back from me.

“Then you wait,” I growl. Dex nods his understanding. “What’s so important?” I ask knowing that this is not the time nor place. However, I need to know what the fuck is going on, and quick so I can assess.

“The latest intel has arrived, but it’s been tampered with. Mr. Jenson wanted me to ask if you would move the weekly meeting up to this afternoon.”

Nodding I answer. “Fine, have a car pick me up at two.” He responds with his own nod and turns on his heel ready to leave. “Dex,” I say and he looks over his shoulder. “Don’t ever come here again.” He nods again, twists back around and disappears.

Twenty minutes later, I’ve just gotten out the shower when I hear Soph let herself in. Drying myself and throwing on some jeans and a Henley, I walk down the stairs and hear movement in the lounge. As I push the door open and step inside, Soph has her back to me and she’s staring at the photo of Nova that I’ve had face down for months now.

“Morning,” I say and she jumps, spinning on her heels to face me.

“Fuck Dane, you scared the life out of me, I wish you’d stop doing that,” she bitches with her hand on her hip.

I smirk. “Sorry, Tink.”

“No you’re not,” she snaps but it’s with a grin that she’s trying to suppress.

“Come on, let’s get this over with,” I say and her face drops.

“Sorry Dane, I mean I didn’t want to force you.”

I smile at her. “Tink, firstly you didn’t force me. However, we both know that you would have forced me had I said no, and you wouldn’t have felt guilty about doing it at all.”

Laughter bursts from her and she slaps my shoulder while I raise an eyebrow at her.

“Sorry, but yeah, you’re right…I’m not sorry.”

I walk through to the conservatory, surprised that it’s now raining and I didn’t notice. Soph sits down and I take a seat opposite, making sure that I’m looking relaxed even though I’m feeling anything but.

“So what happened?” she asks diving straight in. I debate for a second whether to play dumb, but assessing Soph I realise she’s not in the mood to piss about.

“I spoke to her, a couple of days after they all arrived. We sat and talked through it. I explained that we were in a foster home together. That we got together, as together as you can get as a teenager. I also told her I went away for a photo shoot and when I came back she was gone.” Grinding my teeth, I force my body to relax. “I told her that I’d searched for her for years. Never really giving up. She said she felt badly that I’d gone through all of that and that she was sorry she couldn’t remember me. Which, of course, made me feel like a dick. I mean, it’s not her fault she can’t remember.” I stand rubbing my temple. “Christ! She was in a fucking accident and it was that bad that she could’ve died. Yet, I can’t seem to get past the fact that she can’t even fucking remember me.” I lace my fingers together behind my neck and tip my head back.

“I’ve not been in your situation Dane, but I imagine that’s a natural feeling. You still love her. Always have. And now, over and above everything else, you have to battle her memory to try and bring her back to you. Bring back
your
Nova. Because Dane, she’s in there. Somewhere behind Libby is Nova,” she tells me softly placing her hand on my shoulder. I look down at her and wrap her in my arms, wishing it were that easy.

Resting my chin on top of her head. I say, “If only it were that simple, Tink. You didn’t see how she looked at me. Like she was scared of me.” Soph wraps her arms around my middle.

“Then make her see that’s just not true. Show her there’s nothing to be scared off.”

I sigh knowing it’s just not that clear cut. The truth is if she really knew me…if any of them really knew me, they
would
be scared of me. They
should
be scared of me.

“Did she explain the accident?” Soph asks tilting her head.

I shake my head no and reply, “She clammed up every time I asked about it. Fuck knows what happened, but it’s something she can’t deal with.” Keeping to myself that every knot in my gut is calling to me to find out what happened to her.

“You’re coming to Vegas, right?” she asks and I nod.

“Yeah, Saul said he’d have my balls if I didn’t. Apparently, he wants Con and me as his best men.” Soph nods into my chest.

“I can’t believe I’m getting married. Me, getting hitched.”

“I’m just glad my little brother got his head out of his arse long enough that you didn’t slip through his fingers.” She squeezes her arms around me a bit tighter.

“It’s only a week away, maybe you could go visit Libby?” she casually throws the sentence out there.

“Yeah, maybe Tink, although it’s not like I can jump in a car, drive ten minutes and be at her house,” she snorts at me.

“Yeah Dane, and it’s not like you couldn’t hire a private plane if you needed to Mr. Moneybags.” Shaking my head with a smile my thoughts turn to the possibility of visiting Nova.
Maybe I should try again.