Love Scars - 2: Deeper (2 page)

She loved Frank. She’d never told me anything different. But I knew my best friend, and I knew Brad had gotten under her skin. She was fighting the attraction out of loyalty to Frank—and love. But it was a beautiful evening at the edge of summer, and the perfume of jasmine filled the air, and geeky Brad wasn’t so geeky on the dance floor—dance grass?

They looked good together. Too good.

“Frank,” I said. “When I get back from my internship, why don’t you just stay? Move in permanently.”

I didn’t hear his answer.

My heart started pounding. The sound of rushing blood filled my ears, and my mind went blank. Someone gasped—I’m pretty sure it was me—as an amazing guy opened the side gate and walked into my life. I mean walked across the lawn to Brad and Lisa.

He was tall and lanky, in khaki-colored carpenter pants and a sleeveless brick red shirt that exposed his lean muscular arms. His easy gait—he walked in slow motion, truly—reeked of self-confidence and physical strength.

He held up the brown paper bag he carried. Lisa looked inside it and pointed to the house. They all turned toward the deck.

His eyes met mine. I couldn’t breathe. In the whole world, there was nothing but those eyes, dark, kind, intelligent, and deep. I blinked and grabbed Frank’s half-finished martini and swallowed the rest of it, grateful as the cold tart liquid reminded my body to function.

He walked toward me, his loose brown hair falling forward. He had great cheekbones and nice lips. I was gawking but I couldn’t stop. Did I say nice lips?

“So. Brad’s friend.” Frank grinned and offered his hand to help me up. “Not in the bozo category.”

I needed that hand, not to pull me up but to anchor me to the planet. I rose to my feet, dizzy and disoriented. Then Not-A-Bozo smiled at me, and I was lost.

I felt ridiculous. I was bedazzled and unsure, like a love-struck kid. Now I’m the first to admit I’m one screwed-up individual. Obsessive about order. Anxious in crowds. But shy? No. In my life, never. And yet, looking at Brad’s friend, a swarm of butterflies invaded my stomach. I actually felt myself blush.

“Sweetie!” Lisa waved madly at Frank and came running. “I didn’t see you get here. Any news?”

“The best,” Frank said. “You’re looking at the newest on-staff large animal vet at the Loomis Basin Equestrian Center, starting in August.

“I knew you’d get it!” Lisa squealed. “They’d be fools to let you get away.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Frank grinned at me as Lisa threw her arms around him.

“That’s awesome, buddy,” Brad said. “Great news.”

What a drag. I was definitely Team Frank, but a broken heart on a good guy like Brad wasn’t pretty. If only I knew someone else for him, but—pathetically—Lisa was my only real friend.

“Congratulations.” Brad’s friend gave Frank the paper bag. “I hope this adds to the celebration.”

“Grey Goose.” Frank’s face lit up. “Excellent vodka. Cranberry martinis all around.”

“This is J.D.,” Brad said to me. “We work together at BlueMagick.”

“Nice to meet you,” J.D. said.

I stared at his outstretched hand, his forearm and bicep, and smooth unmarked skin over taught muscles. His body was lean but athletic. In my head, King Arthur from Monty Python cried
Run away! Run away!
My body didn’t listen. Not to me, not to the king. It was totally lust at first sight. Before I knew it, my hand was in his. My heart swelled in my chest, about to burst. Couldn’t everybody hear the pounding?

His hand covered mine entirely. He was polite enough not to notice I was trembling. Everything in me wanted to move closer, press my chest against his, to feel his arms around me.

Jeez
. I didn’t even know the guy.
That’s never stopped you before.

“Hi,” I said. Memorable first word. One for the history books. I literally could not push another sound out of my mouth. If I didn’t get away from him, I was going to melt into the deck. Frank and Lisa headed to the bar, and I pulled my hand away and followed them.

“Now you’re going to taste a decent martini,” Frank said, opening the vodka.

I felt warm, and not from the heat of the day. I pulled my hair up, wishing I had a scrunchie to keep it out of the way, and swept it over my shoulder. As a breeze played across the skin on my back, I imagined J.D.’s perfect lips on my neck.
Down, girl!

He was still standing on the deck steps looking at me, his face serious and his arms folded across his chest. If he had any brains in his head,
he’d
run away. Right now.

Yes, I was lonely.

Yes, it was months since my last attempt at having a boyfriend.

And yes, I’d love to meet someone at least half sane to have a relationship with. I was also self-aware enough to know no half-sane guy should want anything to do with me.

Frank poured out five red martinis in plastic glasses, and Lisa squeezed limes over the drinks. They looked cute together too, like old pals having fun. Which they were. Frank was more serious than Lisa, but he always lightened up when he was with her.

I offered a toast. “To Dr. Frank.” I finished all but one swallow of the drink right there. The alcohol was starting to do its job, and I mentally cut myself off.

Frank grabbed Lisa’s hand and wiggled his eyebrows at me mischievously. “Follow me, people.”

As Frank and Lisa led the way from the deck, Brad took the fifth martini to J.D., still standing on the grass by the deck steps. J.D. glanced at me and back to Brad. He accepted the drink, shaking his head ever so slightly.

In a moment of clarity, I understood. Brad had meant to match J.D. up with me—and J.D. obviously wasn’t interested.

A blind date no one had bothered to tell me about. I was a little bit pissed off. I never asked to be set up with anybody. Suddenly J.D. wasn’t so gorgeous. Hell, I could barely take care of myself and Stacey without taking on a loser who hadn’t worked for three years.

Okay. That was harsh. But
jeez
.

I tried to pass Brad and J.D., but they were standing close together. I turned sideways to get through, facing J.D., and put my palm on his chest. In a bratty fit, I looked up and gave him a flirty smile, letting him get a good view of my bare shoulders and the swell of my breasts under my tank top. I was glad I decided to wash my hair earlier. Let him take in the scent of my rosemary mint shampoo.

J.D. gave me an amused smile in return—then poured his martini into my near-empty glass.

Talk about my taunt backfiring. I only succeeded in embarrassing myself. Not to mention getting hot and bothered all over again. There was no way to deny it. J.D. was hot.

Crap, why did I do that? I hate, hate,
hate
it when I lose self-control. Still, J.D. gave himself a good look at me, and as I hurried away I was half embarrassed and half happy. I was pretty sure he liked what he saw.

Ahead of me, Frank exchanged a look with the DJ. He gave her a thumbs-up, and she answered back with a thumbs-up and changed the song. The Beach Boys’
Wouldn’t It Be Nice?
started
to play.

I remembered the ring.
Oh, Frank.
I had the sinking feeling he was going to propose to Lisa in front of everybody. Guys must think that’s romantic, judging from all the proposals on YouTube, but I wonder about the ones that go bad—the ones that never
get
posted.

Frank led us to an immense boulder on the east edge of the lawn, one of countless granite outcroppings all over the place that give Granite Bay its name. We climbed up and sat down. The granite felt nice and cool against the back of my legs. I’ve always liked Indian Rock, as my little brother used to call it. When we were little kids we’d come up here and try to pound acorns on the granite.

The excited gleam in Frank’s eye made me nervous for Lisa. I’d hate to be proposed to in front of other people, even if my answer was going to be yes.

“It’s been ages since I had a Friday night off,” she said. “I’m usually working while everyone is playing. This is great.” She leaned against Frank and laughed. She had no clue what was about to happen.

J.D. sat down next to me. He’d exchanged his empty martini glass for a bottle of beer. That was a surprise. I thought he wanted to leave. Brad must have talked him into staying. He crossed his legs beside me and almost set his beer down in a hole.

“Watch out!” I grabbed his wrist.

“What the what?” He frowned at the hole and ran his hand around its inside wall. “Wow. This looks man-made.” It was about five inches across and cylindrical.

What can I say? The sound of his voice was like hot molasses, quiet and strong, with an edge. He had far more self-confidence than I’d expect in someone out of work for three years. It seemed he could stay calm at the center of hell.

“More likely woman-made,” I said. “They’re called mortar holes. Hundreds of years ago, they were worn into the granite by Maidu Indians grinding acorns into meal.”

J.D. looked around. “And the acorns must have come from all these oak trees. That’s cool you know that.”

“We learn about it in grade grade. It’s part of our local history.”

“History.” He nodded. “Brad says you’ll be studying the Maidu up at the dig. A three-week vacation must be nice.”

“But didn’t you just come off a three-year vacation?” I said. His face went red, and I felt like a jerk. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “That was a shitty thing to say. Three years out of work is no vacation.” I was such an idiot.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Trust me. It’s not that big a deal.”

“No, really. I know what it’s like to struggle.” I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. “People think I have money because I have this house, but it’s not what it looks like.”

“Is this where you grew up?” he said. “This yard is fantastic.”

“My mom did. This was my grandparents’ home.” It was so great he didn’t judge or make a not-clever comment like
it must be a real struggle living in such a nice house
. “I grew up in Loomis. Close to the vet where Frank works, actually.” I never told my story to strangers, but with J.D. it wasn’t like that. I felt like I’d known him all my life. “My niece and I moved in here with our grandma six years ago. I was seventeen and Stacey was twelve.”
 

“Where were your folks?”

Crap.
I’d gone too far. “They were…” We’d come to the edge of things I never talked about, and I’d led the way. “They died.”
Please don’t ask about it. Please don’t ask.

I spread my fingers and pushed my palms against the granite to keep my hands from clenching. J.D. reached over and gently covered my left hand with his.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

I inhaled and held my breath and exhaled, so relieved he didn’t press me to say more. I wanted to lean against his arm. It was hard to remember we’d only just met.

“Stacey’s great,” I said. “My niece. She’s away on her high school graduation trip. About a year after we moved in here, my grandma died. See the wisteria blooming at the kitchen window? When my mom was in high school, she and my grandma planted those vines. Grandma told me the hardest thing for her after Mom died was the next spring when the wisteria bloomed. I think she died of a broken heart.”

“That’s so…sad,” J.D. said.

“Since then, it’s been me and Stacey. And then Lisa. I’ve supported us on student loans, and Lisa helps out a lot. She offered to get me a job at the restaurant, but I didn’t want Stacey coming home to an empty house after school. I wanted her to have the closest thing possible to a normal—
Oh
. God. No.”

I’d completely lost track of the conversation beyond J.D. and me. Frank was reaching into his Dockers for the ring. He was going to ask Lisa right here in front of everybody. I looked at Lisa. Her face was lit up with a smile and her eyes were closed, listening to the music. No clue what was coming.

“Let’s dance.” I grabbed J.D.’s hand and jumped up. “Brad, you too.” I had to save Lisa—at the least, protect her privacy.

“What?” Brad looked confused.

“Come on, man,” J.D. said. “Do what the lady says.”

I gave J.D. a grateful look. Together we dragged Brad down off the boulder out to the lawn and blended into the dancing crowd.

Adele’s
Set Fire to the Rain
was playing. The grass was cool under my feet, and the alcohol was swirling in my head. I raised my arms and moved with the music, well aware I was dancing with two hot guys, Brad in front of me and J.D. behind. I swayed my hips and inched back close to J.D., my eyes closed, my body permeated by music and alcohol and desire.

I called my reaction to J.D. lust at first sight, and it was. Easy to understand. Easy to deal with. I was in tune to his movements. Even with my eyes closed, I sensed his energy so near me. I wanted to feel his arms around my waist and lean back against his chest.

But this was worse than simple lust. This was nothing so trivial.
Safe,
I thought
.
I’ve come home
. It was survival instinct. I opened my eyes and turned around. J.D. wasn’t where I expected. He’d put some distance between us and was looking at me strangely.