“Exciting?” Gwen shuddered. The details of the marriage bed were not a complete shock: the girls at Madame Chaussan’s had discussed such matters late at night amid a great deal of giggling. Still, it was surprising to note how much they had. “I cannot imagine that would be exciting.”
“With the right man it can be wonderful.” Madame—Gwen never could think of her by her given name—smiled, and Gwen wondered if she was thinking of her husband. Madame had been married only a few years before her French-born husband had been lost at sea. She was not yet twenty at the time. To support herself, she’d become a teacher at Madame Chaussan’s Academy and a substitute mother to countless young girls boarded at the school. For whatever reason, Gwen had always been one of her favorites.
“I’m certain Lord Pennington has a fair amount of experience in these matters,” Madame said gently. “At least from what Colette has been able to determine.”
Gwen groaned. “Is he really dangerous, then?”
She could hear the smile in Madame’s voice. “Not unless he continues to ply you with brandy.”
“He did not ply me. I plied myself.”
How could she have been so stupid? The effects of too much drink were all too apparent in most of the households she’d worked in. How could she have behaved so improperly? And revealed so much? She remembered each and every dreadful word. Of all her regrets about last night, one of the biggest was that she had obviously not consumed enough to forget exactly what she had said. “How can I ever face him again? Surely he thinks I’m nothing but a drunken sot of a bad governess.”
Colette laughed. “Nonsense, Gwendolyn. I am certain he thinks nothing of the sort.”
“You didn’t see me. I was…” She could barely think about the evening, let alone discuss it. “I was either quite rude to him or horribly forward. I
asked
him to kiss me.” She buried her face in her hands, cloth and all. “He probably thinks I’m not merely a drunken sot of a bad governess but a drunken sot of a bad governess with no manners whatsoever and questionable morals.”
“Come now, my dear.” Madame patted her on the back. “It’s not that bad. He was quite charming when he brought you home. Even rather amused, I think. After all, you’re the woman he’s going to marry.”
“Because he has no choice,” she wailed, then winced.
“I have never seen you like this.” Concern sounded in Madame’s voice. “Of course, it has been five years…”
Gwen lifted her head and met her teacher’s gaze. “I have never
been
like this. I have taken care of myself and run my life since my father’s death. I was not a very good governess, but I was extremely competent when it came to my own survival. I found employment. I avoided scandal. I was at all times quite proper and extremely well mannered. And now look at me.” Her lower lip quivered. “I am on the verge of tears, and I never cry. I feel worse than I ever have in my entire life. And the man I will spend the rest of that life with thinks I am a drunken sot.”
“It does sound exceedingly bad when you put it that way,” Colette murmured. Madame cast her a quelling glance. “Don’t be absurd. I daresay Pennington will never mention the incident. I doubt he would ever cause a woman deliberate embarrassment. He seems an honorable and decent sort.”
“Is he?” Gwen sniffed and struggled to sit upright, trying not to moan. It was past time she stopped coddling herself. She looked at Colette. “What have you learned about him?”
“Quite a bit and all of it good.” Colette smiled in reassurance.
If anyone could find out anything about anyone in London, Colette de Chabot could. The widow of a very wealthy man, the French exile had lived in England for more than a decade and retained only the slightest of accents. Colette was allegedly the mistress of a powerful English lord. Someone well positioned in the government or a high-ranking military officer perhaps. Possibly even royalty. Gwen had never asked, and neither Colette nor Madame had ever offered the information. All Gwen really knew was that the gentleman and Colette had been together when she’d first met her teacher’s sister-in-law five years ago and were still together today.
Colette took Madame in after her school closed its doors, sending its students to their respective homes. It was a scant month before Gwen’s father died. Colette was a few years older than Madame, and while the two women couldn’t be more different in their attitudes toward life, they meshed together perfectly and truly considered each other sisters, not merely sisters by marriage.
“You already know his family is quite respectable, his title is unblemished, although”—Colette lowered her voice in a confidential manner—“there was talk of piracy some generations back.”
“I believe it was privateering,” Madame said with a long-suffering smile. In spite of their affection for one another, each saw the past histories of their respective countries with distinctly different eyes. Colette brushed away the correction. “I should think that depends entirely on whether you are the pirate or the innocent victim. Regardless, it was far too long ago to worry about. As for Lord Pennington himself, his fortune is quite impressive.”
Gwen nodded. “I was fairly certain of that.”
“It is always sensible to wed wealth, my dear. You would be wise to remember that for the next marriage. As for this one…” Colette thought for a moment. “Your Lord Pennington apparently had a somewhat misspent youth, although not overly so. Nothing that would tarnish his good name for any length of time or linger in society’s memory. Indeed, from my inquiries, it was difficult to find anyone who remembered anything specific, just a vague impression of overly high spirits and mildly scandalous behavior. Nothing at all unusual, really.
“As for His Lordship today, he is considered something of a wit. Cool, sophisticated, a man of the world. And as you already know, he is not unattractive.”
“Not at all.” His green eyes and crooked smile flashed in her mind. “Then he is not especially…dangerous? A debaucher of women and all that?”
“Debauchery is exceedingly difficult to hide, word does tend to get out, and I have learned nothing of that sort. As for dangerous…” Colette laughed. “
Mon cher
, all interesting men are dangerous, it’s what makes them so interesting. And I think your Lord Pennington is extremely interesting.”
“And I am going to marry him.” Gwen blew a long breath and plucked absently at the coverlet. Aside from sheer embarrassment and a heartfelt desire to die, her impending marriage dominated her thoughts. Her stomach lurched in a manner that had nothing to do with brandy. “Tomorrow.”
“You have not had time to get any new clothes since your return.” Madame always was exceedingly practical. “We shall have to find you something appropriate to wear. You can purchase a new wardrobe after the wedding.”
“Madame.” Gwen met the older woman’s eyes. “What am I to do?”
“I thought you had decided the only way to support your nieces is to marry the earl.” Madame studied her. “Have you changed your mind?”
“No. But…” Gwen wrinkled her nose. “I did not mention them to Mar—Pennington.”
Colette laughed. “He shall discover them soon enough when they are living in his house.”
“He does not like girls. He was very firm about that. At least I think he was very firm.” Gwen rubbed her forehead carefully. “I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. I was afraid he would change his mind about marrying me and I would not get the money I need.
“He is not overjoyed at the idea of marrying a woman he does not know, although I do think he likes me a bit. Furthermore, were it not for the people who depend on him for their living, I am not at all certain he wouldn’t ignore his father’s wishes and thereby give up his fortune. I found his attitude rather admirable if not especially intelligent. He has never been poor, you know.”
Madame considered her for a moment. “I assume you have given some thought to what you shall do with the girls”
“Actually, I have.” Gwen drew a deep breath. “Once I am married, I will have my own money. I intend to hire a staff, for the house in the country. They shall live there, and I will visit them as often as possible. It won’t be for very long,” she said quickly. “I plan to tell Pennington about them when the moment is right. However”—she sat a bit straighter—“until he can welcome them without restraint, I shall not say a word. I will not allow them to live anywhere where they are not wanted.”
Colette and Madame traded glances.
Gwen drew a deep breath. “I am sorry about last night. It was their first night with me and I certainly did not intend to abandon them. All I had planned was to speak to Lord Pennington, then return here. Are they very upset with me?”
Colette sighed. “They do not seem overly fond of you.”
“You must understand, my dear,” Madame said quickly. “They have been through a great deal since the deaths of their parents. They have been shuffled around the world, not knowing where they would land, until they ended up with your cousin. And apparently she was not overly pleased to have them show up on her doorstep.”
Colette sniffed in disdain. “A vile woman, no doubt.”
“That’s of no significance now.” Madame’s tone was firm. “The point is, their mother filled their heads with talk of how they should take care of one another. How
sisters
should take care of one another. Extremely wise on her part, I should think, given what I understand about the rather adventurous life the family led. At any rate, the girls fully expected their mother’s sister to come to their rescue, and you did not.” Madame shrugged. “Regardless of the fact that you neither knew of your sister’s death nor of their existence, their resentment of you is quite understandable.”
“Of course,” Gwen murmured. “How stupid of me not to have realized that.”
“Not at all,” Colette said staunchly. “Your sister has had no contact with you from the time she left home. You could not be expected to feel any obligation to her whatsoever.”
“Nonetheless, I should have—”
“Gwendolyn,” Madame said firmly. “What has passed is past. All that matters now is what you do from this moment forward. And you must start by telling Lord Pennington.”
“Absolutely not.” Gwen shook her head. “Not until we are married and I am firmly ensconced as his wife. I will not risk his sending them away.”
“But the power at the moment is in your hands.” Colette frowned. “Do you not understand that? If you demand he allow these girls to live with you as a condition of the marriage, he will have no choice.”
“I won’t do that.” Gwen struggled to find the right words, but her thoughts made very little sense.
“I have already made certain I have control of my inheritance as well as my house. I cannot demand more of him. He is, well,
nice
, and probably deserves better than what he is getting. Besides, if I bring them into a house where they are not wanted, they’ll grow up thinking…they’ll feel…”
“As you did, my dear?” Madame said gently.
Gwen nodded. “If I can do nothing else for them, I can do that much.”
“Very well. We suspected that would be your decision.” Colette glanced at her sister-in-law. Madame nodded. “Therefore we have decided the girls shall remain here with us until you feel Lord Pennington is amenable to their presence.”
“That’s very kind of you, but I could not possibly—”
“Of course you can,” Madame said with a smile. “In truth, their presence will liven up our lives. I quite miss being around young girls. They were delightful last night and far older than their ages. We chatted and played cards together.”
“I owe them a great deal of money,” Colette said under her breath. “Nonetheless, they are charming, and we shall get on quite well together.”
“But”—Gwen pulled her brows together—“what of your…friend? Won’t he object?”
“This is my home and I shall do precisely as I wish here.” Colette waved offhandedly. “As it happens, he is unavailable for a time, and I am quite at a loss for something to fill my idle moments.”
“Besides…” Madame placed her hand over Gwen’s. “I feel this is the least I can do for you. Since the moment I learned of the mistake that caused you to set out on your own, I have regretted my part in it. I should never have helped you find that first position that took you to America. I should have known better.”
“Don’t be absurd.” Gwen covered Madame’s hand with her own. “I would have found some other means of escape. Indeed, my actions were both impulsive and stupid but you are not to blame.”
“Still…” Madame sighed. “If I hadn’t provided my assistance, your life would have been much different. Mr. Whiting would have located you much sooner. Why, you might even have had a season and—”
“Forgive me, but did you not just say what’s done is done and we should go on from here?”
Gwen’s voice carried a teasing note. “You should follow your own advice.”
“I have told her that on any number of occasions,” Colette said loftily. “As well as offering her the benefit of my wisdom. She is barely eight and twenty and I think she should be married again herself.”
Madame’s eyes sparked. “Just as I think you would do well to follow that wisdom yourself and stop wasting your life on a man—”
“If you’re certain then, about allowing the girls to live here,” Gwen cut in. This was obviously an ongoing debate between the women and just as obviously had no resolution. Colette huffed. “On that, we are agreed.”
A wonderful sense of relief filled Gwen. Her nieces could not be in better hands than Madame’s or more interesting hands than Colette’s. Their generous offer lifted a load off Gwen that had settled hard on her shoulders yesterday afternoon and set her course firmly toward marriage with Marcus. She beamed at the dear ladies. “I am most grateful. I have no doubt they will not be with you for long. Pennington seems to be rather surprisingly nice; did I say he was nice? He is very nice.”
Colette considered her carefully. “Are you falling in love with this man? Already?”
“Or”—Madame eyes narrowed—“
could
you fall in love with this man?”
“I have not fallen in love with him. I have just met him,” Gwen said to Colette, then turned to Madame. “And furthermore I have no intention of falling in love with him. Love is a horrible trap for women, and I shall do all in my power to avoid it. I do, however, think we can have an excellent relationship built on respect and the kind of affection one feels for a very good friend.”