Love's Deception (12 page)

N
athan and Carissa once again stood outside her apartment door.

Her stomach fluttered in anticipation of a goodnight kiss. Would it feel the same? Would she lie awake just thinking about it? God, she hoped so.

“Here we are,” he announced, gazing down at her. “Are you as nervous as I am?”

“You’re nervous?” she asked, astonished. “What do you have to be nervous about?”

“Are you kidding? The last time I kissed you, you avoided me for a week.” He smiled down at her. “I don’t want that to happen again.”

“I don’t think you have to worry about that. I really had a good time tonight.”

“Does that mean you’ll see me again?”

“Only if you shut up and kiss me.”

Her gaze watched his lips as his head descended. And when they landed against hers, it was everything she’d hoped for and more. The gentle invasion of his tongue sent ripples of pleasure through her entire body. When their kiss deepened, her arms slid around his neck to pull him closer. She wanted to savor each moment.

Their lips parted, but her eyes remained closed as if she floated on an invisible cloud. Her knees weakened from the heat of his breath caressing her face. Nathan tilted her chin up with his finger.

“Can I see you tomorrow?”

She nodded, unsure if she’d be able to wait that long. “I’d like that.”

“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kissed her again, then turned from the door.

As she did the last time, she watched him until he disappeared from sight. Only then did she exhale and enter her apartment.

“It’s about time.” Helena folded the magazine in her lap, then crossed her arms as she stared up at her. “I thought you’d never get home. Now, come on over here and tell the juicy stuff.”

“What on earth are you doing up?” Carissa asked, grinning.

“Oh, you had a good time, didn’t you? I can tell by that look on your face. Does that mean we get to keep him?”

“We?”

“You need a husband and I need some children running around here. I regret never having any and I’m trying to prevent you from making the same mistake. Life can seem awfully lonely without them.”

Carissa joined her on the sofa. “I wish we could keep him, Auntie. But I don’t know.”

“You know, Risa. I’ve been trying to convince you to just come clean about what happened. I’m still sure he’ll understand. But if you continue to put it off, then it will look like you intentionally deceived him. But if you want a relationship with him, then you’re going to have to come clean—and soon.” Helena stood. “We can talk about your evening over breakfast. Right now you need to think about what I said.” She gathered her things and headed off to bed.

Later, Carissa lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. For the most part, she tried to relive the evening in her mind. In the short time she’d known Nathan Edwards, her whole life had been turned upside down. She felt things she had never felt and dreamed things she had no right to dream.

If it all ended tomorrow, she would never regret the time she’d spent with him. But the question was whether she was prepared to lose it all.

No. She shook her head and sat up in bed. He could offer her more, she was sure of it. His eyes promised more. She thought of his strength, his sincerity, his
honesty and even his vulnerability. She was attracted to all of his qualities. What would it be like to love and be loved by such a man?

Carissa crossed her arms as if to hug herself. There was no way she deserved him, but that didn’t stop her from wanting him. And there were times tonight, she was sure he wanted her, too. She smiled at the thought.

The phone’s sudden shrill caused her to jump. “Hello.”

“I can’t sleep.” Nathan’s deep baritone drifted over the line. “What about you?”

She smiled against the phone. “I’m wide-awake.”

“That’s good news. I’d hate to have awakened you.”

“I see you found my phone number.”

“Yeah. It was thoughtful of you to slip it into my jacket tonight. It was a nice little surprise.”

“Don’t mention it. Thanks for calling.”

“Are you kidding? I nearly broke my neck trying to get to the phone.”

She continued to smile against the phone as they lapsed into a comfortable silence. “I really had a great time tonight,” she finally said.

“Maybe I should come back over.”

“So soon?”

“Why not? Don’t you know what day it is?”

“What?”

“It’s tomorrow already.”

She laughed as she stretched back against the
pillows. They continued talking and laughing for hours. When the morning’s first ray of sunlight streamed through her windows, Carissa slept curled in bed with the phone tucked beneath her ear.

“I’
ve finally found the woman of my dreams,” Nathan declared, then whacked Smokey hard on the back. “Maybe I can bring her here to your place one night so you can meet her. I’m telling you, you’re going to love her. She’s intelligent, she’s funny, and man, can she dance.”

Smokey leaned back from his breakfast with an amused grin. “May I ask who the lucky girl is?”

“It’s Carissa. Don’t you remember I told you about her?”

“Oh, yeah. A Ms. Carnes, am I right?”

“That’s the one.”

“You found out that she was available and didn’t waste any time.”

Nathan took the last bite of his pancakes, then washed it down with his coffee before he responded. “I didn’t mean for anything to happen.”

Smokey arched his brows questioningly.

“Okay, maybe on some level I was always attracted to her. But I’m telling you, when you meet her you’ll understand where I’m coming from. Then again, I know at times she can come off as a bit uptight.”

“I remember you saying that last week.”

“But I’m telling you, Pop, she knows how to let her hair down. You should have seen her dancing at the party last night. She had every man there wanting her.”

“You being no exception.”

Nathan waved off his sarcasm. “I can’t explain it.”

“Well, she really must be something to get you talking a hundred miles an hour. But don’t you think you’re rushing things? I mean, come on, you just met the girl.”

“That’s another thing,” Nathan added. “It doesn’t
feel
like we just met. Not for me anyway. I’ve been so comfortable talking to her about personal issues almost from the beginning. And she listens—truly listens to what I have to say.”

Smokey slapped his hand on the table with a wide grin. “Then that settles it. You better marry her. It’s hard to find a listener out there. I tell you what—I’m going to start hanging out at the hospital, too. I didn’t know it was such a hot spot to find women.”

Nathan laughed. “You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think. But whatever happened to being cautious? You wouldn’t want to repeat the whole India fiasco.”

“Caution be damned.” Nathan laughed. “Believe it or not I’m ready to jump into this relationship with blinders on.”

“I don’t know, son. It sounds risky.”

“Yeah, that it is. But I got to tell ya, it feels great.”

Helena listened as Carissa sang in the shower, whistled while she cleaned up, and hummed as she worked on her laptop.

“My God, girl. You’ve got it bad.” Helena propped her hands on her hips.

“Got what bad?” Carissa asked, looking up from her work.

“The love bug. And stop trying to act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. There’s more music coming out of you than the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra.”

“Very funny.”

Helena leaned against her work table. “It may be funny, but it’s also true. That man must have rocked your world.”

“I told you last night, we had a good time.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“We’re going to a movie tonight.”

“A drive-in, I hope.”

Carissa’s smile widened. “As a matter of fact, we are.”

“Oh, so you did inherit some of my genes. There may be hope for you yet, sweetheart. But what are you going to do about that other little issue we talked about?”

“I’m going to tell him the truth.”

“That’s great,” Helena exclaimed, reaching over to hug her. “I bet you he’s going to understand everything.”

Carissa shut off her computer and stood up. “Well, I hope you’re right. I don’t know what I’ll do if he ends up hating me.” She headed toward the door. “I’m going over to see Liz. I want to make sure she’s doing all right. I trust you can entertain yourself until I get back.”

“Not a problem. I need to do something about rounding up a man, too. I’ll be damned if you’re the only one with a date on a Saturday night.”

Liz opened her front door and blinked in surprise at seeing her boss. Then her gaze swept over her free-flowing hair and her flawless makeup. And was she wearing jeans?

“Ms. Cartel—what are you doing here?”

“I came to see how you were doing.”

Confused, Liz stared.

“I would have been here sooner, but I got lost trying to find your street. I must have passed by here six or seven times,” she added with an awkward smile. “May I come in?”

Liz broke from her trance and jumped back. “Of
course. Forgive me. Things are a little hectic right now.”

“Please, there’s no need to apologize.”

The women stood, smiling awkwardly at one another, before Liz broke the silence. “I just can’t believe you’re here.”

“I wanted to come.” Carissa remembered the box in her hands. “Oh, this is for you. I thought it would be a nice change from you always buying me things.”

“You shouldn’t have.”

“I wanted to.”

“Won’t you come into the living room and sit down?”

“I’d love to.” Carissa admired the modest home as she followed her. “You know, Liz, I never knew you drove so far to work every day. What is it—thirty miles?”

“Yeah, it’s quite a stretch. Can I get you something to drink?”

“No, thanks. I just polished off a bottle of water in the car.”

“Okay.” Liz sat down, then opened her package. She gasped in surprise as she pulled out the old black and white photo of Liz’s grandparents that had sat on her desk. Now it was in the most exquisite silver frame she’d ever seen.

“I hope you like it.”

“It’s beautiful,” she said in awe.

“I really didn’t know what to get you, which is a shame, really. You’ve worked every day outside my
office for the past eight years and I never took the time to try to get to know you.”

“It’s okay, Ms. Cartel. I hope you forgive me for what I said to you yesterday. I had no right to say those things.”

“Actually, I’m glad you did. There was a lot of truth to what you said.” Carissa looked down at her hands. “You remember the snowball you bought me for my birthday?”

“Of the little ballerina?”

“Yeah. It was a beautiful gift. But I have to admit, at first I was saddened by it, because it reminded me of who I wanted to be when I was younger. I think, subconsciously, I’ve never forgiven myself for giving up on my dreams.” She looked up at Liz’s warm smile.

“I’m glad you shared that with me. It means a lot.”

Carissa wiped at her eyes. “Now back to you. I’m here to help you. What can I do?”

“Actually, everything is pretty much taken care of. I’ve been preparing for this day for a long time. As soon as Darius wakes from his nap we’re going to a cousin’s house for preparations for the wake.”

“How did he take the news?”

“He handled it well. I must say he did better than I did. Actually, he’s been full of surprises here lately. You know when Mr. Edwards’s son first came to the office last week, Darius took to the man like a fish to water.”

“Really?”

“I’ve never seen anything like it. He’s always been so shy around strangers.”

“So he has a way with children?”

“I’d say. I was just about ready to send Darius to a child psychiatrist. Nathan Edwards gave me hope that this is just a phase.”

Carissa liked the thought of Nathan surrounded by children.

“Ms. Cartel, are you all right?”

“Oh, I’m fine.” She waved off her concern. “I was just daydreaming.”

“It must have been some dream to put a smile like that on your face.”

“Trust me, it was. But, Liz, if we’re going to be friends, please stop calling me Ms. Cartel when we’re not working. Call me Carissa—or Risa, whichever you prefer.”

“You got a deal, Risa.”

Carissa managed to locate the private room Travis had been transferred to with little difficulty. She’d wanted to see him for a while and was grateful that she’d picked a time when Nathan was away.

The moment she saw Travis propped up against the pillow, she worried that he looked so pale. She moved toward the bed and reached for his hand.
It’s still cold
.

“Please help him through this,” she prayed through building tears. She pulled a chair over to the bed and sat down. For a long time, she just held his hand and struggled for the right words to say.

“I feel strange about coming here again,” she began. “But I had to. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.” She closed her eyes and laughed at herself. “You have no idea of what I’m talking about. You see, years ago I refused to come see my father when he was lying in the hospital. Mainly, because I was scared. I figured if I didn’t say goodbye, then he wouldn’t leave. Silly, huh?”

The heart monitors beeped in response and another sad laugh erupted from her. “I swear I didn’t mean to hurt him. But I did. I know I did because I did it so many times before. I look back now and remember what happened the night of his heart attack. We were fighting…again. He was angry with me for sneaking out of the house so I could be with my friends—friends that I don’t even have anymore.

“He claimed that I was a disgrace and that I’d never amount to anything. Basically, it was the same argument that we always had.” She fell silent as her emotions overwhelmed her.

When she finally looked up again, it wasn’t Travis she saw lying in the bed, nor was it his hand she held—it was her father’s. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m so sorry for everything I did to hurt you. Will you ever forgive me?” Carissa released his hand and covered her face as tears fell freely from her eyes.

A strong hand settled on her shoulder and she jumped up from her chair. But when she saw Nathan standing there with outstretched arms, she rushed into his embrace and cried until her river of tears had dried.