Love's Fiery Jewel (65 page)

"Fool! Fool!" his mind harangued, "you have only
yourself to blame. How can she trust you now when you
have deliberately led her to believe an untruth on which
you have based your relationship? A belief that inspired
only one emotion... Fear."

Picking up his pen, he dipped it into the ink and began
again the letter he had been attempting to compose for
the last two hours.

"My darling Amethyst,

I have tried many times to begin this letter, thinking of endless excuses for my gross
mishandling of our lives, but there is no true
excuse for my actions. You are so desperate to be
free of me, to make a new life for yourself and
Marian, and I know of no other way to prove my
love for you except to make your most ardent
wish possible.

I have today deposited in the Bank of
Philadelphia a draft in Marian's name, designating you as trustee of the sum. I am hoping you
will use that money in any manner you see fit so
you will no longer be dependent on others for
survival. Should you desire to stay with Beauchamps, I can only wish you happiness.

I will always love you, darling, and I hope you
will someday be able to forgive me for all you
have suffered at my hands. My thoughts will
always be with you and Marian.

Damien"

Dropping the pen hopelessly, Damien muttered under
his breath, "It's done." The letter was inadequate, but it
would have to do. Rising slowly to his feet, Damien
walked to the door of the library, dreading the moment he
would ascend the steps to the master bedroom on the
second floor. The house was haunted with Amethyst's
presence. In the morning room he saw her reclining on
the chaise in the sun, her body swollen with his child; in
the hallway descending the staircase, completely selfless
and unconscious of the innate grace and beauty in which
she walked; and across from him at the dinner table, her
sharp mind and quick wit sharing his burdens, lightening
his cares. But it was in the privacy of his room at night
where countless memories assailed his mind, giving him
no peace through the long hours of the night. He longed to hold her again in his arms, to feel her warmth against
him as she slept, breathe in her fragrance, feel the silky
texture of her skin against his palms as she lay warm and
tight against him. He ached to love her...

Awakening early, Damien immediately dressed, unwilling to spend any more time than necessary in the
room that harbored so many strong memories. Walking
to the staircase to the first floor, he descended it slowly,
with the same lack of enthusiasm with which he had
begun each day during the past month. His eye catching
on a tall, dark figure standing hesitantly in the foyer, he
hastened his step.

"Raymond, you need not have come so early in answer
to my summons. I did not expect you for at least another
hour." Damien's smile touched the silent Negro with
true respect and affection. His impressive frame straight
and proud, Raymond maintained a sense of dignity that a
life of slavery had left undaunted. True intelligence
gleamed in the black eyes regarding him intently, as well
as apprehension at the reason for Damien's urgent
summons.

Signaling Raymond to follow as he walked toward the
library, Damien began hesitantly, "We have some things
to discuss, Raymond. Please come in and close the door
behind you."

Walking directly to the desk, Damien picked up the
letter over which he had labored so arduously the night
before, wincing slightly as his fingers touched its smooth
surface.

Turning back to Raymond he said soberly, "I would
have you deliver this letter to Amethyst personally, at
your first opportunity of privacy. I wish only to be
certain she reads it, for there is something of importance
contained inside of which she must become aware."

Nodding silently, Raymond accepted the letter, and putting it in his pocket, waited for Damien to continue.

Beginning hesitantly, Damien said in a softer tone,
"Secondly, I would know if you are happy in the
Beau champs household, Raymond."

His stoic features revealing little of the surprise he fell
at the question, Raymond's answer was equally hesitant,
"Raymond be content deh, Cap'n."

"And Tillie... is all well between you and her?"

A small smile curving Raymond's lips for the first
time, Raymond replied softly, "Tillie Swann `n Raymond
be happy t' be together `gain."

Smiling at the twinge of envy deep in his own heart,
Damien responded softly, "Well, at least one good thing
has come of this fiasco." Walking back to the desk,
Damien picked up a paper lying on its surface, and
returning to Raymond, placed it in his hand. "I had this
certified yesterday, Raymond. This paper says you are a
free man now...as free as Tillie Swann. When you
return to Beauchamps's household today, you need
never report back to me again. You will be needed there
for a long time to come, but should you find yourself
in need of employment in the future, you may return
here at any time. But as a free man, Raymond, not as a
slave."

Appearing unable to comprehend the full portent of
Damien's statement, Raymond blinked into Damien's
clear, penetrating eyes, his broad features drawing into a
deep frown. When he finally spoke, his deep voice was
low and hesitant.

"Cap'n say Raymond be free man now? Free as Tillie
Swann?"

Nodding his head, Damien continued softly, "And I
offer you my sincere apology for using you so heartlessly. I was thoughtlessly cruel in flaunting your
presence so I might convince Amethyst to return to me.

I caused both you and Tillie unnecessary pain..."

Refuting Damien's statement with a shake of his head, Raymond responded softly, "Raymond know how it feel
t' need him woman 'n not have him. Raymond
understand what de Cap'n do." Hesitating another
moment, Raymond continued in a lower tone as he
tightly clenched the paper Damien had put into his hand,
"... `n Raymond say tenky, Cap'n, tenky for making
Raymond free man."

Smiling, Damien offered softly, "Raymond never
truly belonged to me, anyway. The only person Raymond
ever belonged to was Tillie Swann."

A broad smile slowly moving across his lips, Raymond
laughed, the low heavy rumble pleasant on Damien's
ears. "Dat be true, Cap'n, dat be true."

Extending his hand, Damien said sincerely, "Goodbye,
Raymond. Let me hear from you again."

Nodding his head, Raymond accepted the hand held
out to him, and turned to the door. Watching as
Raymond's tall proud frame moved with a rapid stride
through the foyer and out the front door, the smile
slowly dropped from Damien's face. Turning, he walked
slowly toward the morning room. Another long, endless
day had begun.

Bright violet eyes looked clearly into his as soft lips
parted in anticipation of his kiss. Her fragrance was
strong in his nostrils, her body soft as she pressed against
him. "Amethyst... Amethyst, my darling," he whispered softly as his lips moved slowly to cover hers, "I've
waited so long.. .so very long..."

But she was fading from his sight, slowly slipping
away, her image paling until only the aura remained, and
suddenly, with a start, he awakenedv He was trembling
uncontrollably, his body covered with a veil of perspira tion that pasted the coverlet to his body like a damp
shroud. Disgusted with himself, Damien struggled to his
feet, moving quickly to the washstand to pour the pitcher
of water over his head in an effort to release himself from
his semi-conscious state. It had just been another dream!
One he had been subservient to for the past month,
during which he had waited in vain for some word from
Amethyst. Raymond had brought her his letter a full
month before, returning the next day to tell him
Amethyst had read it in his presence and turned away
without a word. Clinging desperately to the last thread of
hope, Damien had found all manner of reason to remain
in Philadelphia in the hope of seeing Amethyst again,
even though he knew full well she did not stray from the
Beauchamps' household where she continued steady
nursing chores for the recuperating Armand Beauchamps.

But the dreams had been recurring more often of late
as hope began to fade, his subconscious mind endeavoring to compensate for his waning hope. But he could go
on like this no longer. It was time he faced the truth of
the hopelessness of his love and went on with his life, no
matter the pain of final acceptance.

With a new sense of resolution, Damien brushed his
damp hair into place and slipped into his fawn britches
and white shirt, making haste to leave the room before
his determination failed. It was March, and the Sally
would be sailing again within a few weeks. He would take
her out this time and damn the memories that haunted
him! Walking purposefully down the staircase to the first
floor, he was in time to see Mrs. Dobbs open the front
door. Blinking his eyes in disbelief, Damien saw a small,
slender figure in the doorway and heard a soft, familiar
voice saying quietly, "It's good to see you again, Mrs.
Dobbs." Turning to the tall mulatto behind her, the apparition said softly, "You may take Marian upstairs
first, Tillie. Our early rising has interrupted her sleep and
she will benefit from a few more quiet hours."

Nodding her assent to Amethyst's instructions, Tillie
began moving quickly in the direction of the staircase,
stopping only briefly when she saw Damien paused on
the stairs. Within moments she had brushed past him
without a word and was continuing up the staircase.

But Damien's eyes had not strayed from the slim figure
that now stood in the foyer, removing her cape. Turning
as Raymond came through the doorway, his arms loaded
with assorted boxes and cases, Amethyst directed softly,
"Please put them in the upstairs bedroom, Raymond. I'm
sure Mrs. Dobbs will be happy to indicate which rooms to
use."

Taking her cue from Amethyst, Mrs. Dobbs quickly
preceded Raymond up the stairs, obviously grateful to
escape the tension-filled scene.

His eyes unmoving from Amethyst's countenance,
Damien slowly descended the staircase. His heart
pounding in his chest, he advanced toward her, reaching
out as he did to lightly touch her cheek. Closing his eyes
for a brief second, Damien slowly released his breath.
She was real, not just a figment of his imagination or
another dream. His eyes slowly moved over her face,
drinking in the sight of her, his throat too choked with
emotion to speak.

Bright violet eyes held his for long silent moments
before Amethyst swallowed tightly, the slight trembling
of her soft lips betraying her emotion as she whispered
huskily, "We've come home, Damien. Marian and I have
come home."

Waiting, holding her breath in the long moments of
silence that followed, Amethyst watched as Damien's
gray, translucent eyes moved slowly over her face, his broad chest heaving with the intensity of emotion clearly
coursing through his body. His fingers still rested against
her cheek as if he dared not move and break the spell of
the moment. A small smile slowly broke the stiffness of
his expression, turning up the corners of his mouth, the
stillness between them shattered abruptly as his strong
arms snaked out to crush her against him and he groaned
in a deep, hungry voice, "Amethyst, oh, God, Amethyst,
you've finally returned to me." Savoring the ecstasy of
holding her again in his arms, Damien clutched her
against him for long moments, his hands luxuriating in
the black, silky curls that streamed down her back,
revelling in the wild beating of her heart as it raced
frantically against his own; the intimate sweetness of her
body, warm against his as his mouth slowly descended to
cover her soft lips. And it was there.. .the rapture
singing through his veins as his mouth touched and
tasted the innate beauty it had been denied for so long.

Releasing her momentarily, Damien bent and scooped
Amethyst into his arms, holding her tight against his
chest as he turned to scale the staircase two steps at a
time in his anxiety for the privacy of their room.
Unconscious of Raymond's and Tillie's smiling glances
as he moved through the doorway of the master bedroom,
Damien kicked the door shut behind him, carrying
Amethyst to the bed where he lay her gently on the
rumpled linens. His hands cupping her face, he stared for
long moments into the purple jewels of her eyes, still
hardly daring to believe she was once again in his arms.
His voice hoarse from the emotions still shaking his
strong frame, Damien said softly, "Darling, I want to say
this first, so you may know unequivocally, never to
doubt again, that I love you, Amethyst. I love you more
than I thought it possible to love. The past months have
taught me in the most brutally painful way that life without you is flat and empty, darling. Yet, within the
space of one moment you have returned the spark to my
life.. .the brightness to my soul, and now that you have
returned, I will never allow you to leave me again. You
will marry me.. .you will be my wife, the mother of our
children..."

Suddenly realizing Amethyst remained silent, Damien
felt a moment of soul-shaking doubt, his body stiffening
as he said softly, "You will marry me, Amethyst... you
will not insist on the same situation as before..."

A lone tear slipping out of one corner of the brimming
violet eyes returning his gaze, Amethyst whispered
huskily, "Oh, yes, Damien, I will marry you. I will be
your wife. I, too, have learned something over the past
months. Affection and sympathy cannot be transformed
into love, no matter how deep their proportions,
especially when the heart is already filled with love for
another. I love you, Damien, and have finally come to
realize that the possession I so feared and which held me
bound to you was merely the power of that love,
drawing me ever closer to you as I struggled to pull away.
Once you had turned me free, with no thought for the
pain I knew you suffered, for I suffered it also, I came to
realize the true depth of your love, and the depth of my
own as well." Hesitating a moment longer as Damien
stared soberly into the exquisite face filled with love,
Amethyst finally whispered in a hoarse, breaking voice,
"No, Damien, I will not leave you.. .ever again." A
small smile turning up her lips as a fleeting dimple danced
across her velvet cheek, she said softly, "This obstinate,
impulsive, foolish woman is yours for the rest of your
life, darling..."