Love's Long Journey (Love Comes Softly Series #3) (11 page)

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His arm tightened around Missie as he asked the question. He wanted her to know that he understood, and that he suffered with her.

"I guess--some," Missie was able to answer without a flood of tears.

"I think maybe it's gittin' harder for John," Willie continued after a few moments of silence.

"How?"

"Well, at first I don't think it was real to John. Now it is. He's over the shock-like; an' he's missin' Becky--knowin' thet she won't be back, won't be his--ever again."

Missie pondered Willie's words. That small feeling of anger toward John stirred within her. She decided to express it.

"John was too sure of himself, too cocky 'bout Becky an' that baby. Just 'cause his mother. . . Things can go wrong--they can. He should have known that." Missie couldn't hold back her tears.

"I was feelin' those same thoughts," Willie said gently, "but maybe we're too hard on John. Sure he was cocky. But, maybe it was just cover-up, to sorta make things happen the way he wanted them to. I don't know. All I know is thet he loved Becky--very much--an' he wanted thet son--very much. An' now he has neither of them--an' he's truly sorrowin', Missie. Maybe we're all guilty of holdin' too lightly those thet we love."

Missie's sobs quieted as she thought on Willie's words. He was right, of course. John did love Becky and he had wanted the baby. It was no fault of John's that things had gone wrong. If it hadn't been for the long delay at the Big River, they would have reached Tettsford Junction and the doctor on time--even with Becky's baby coming early.

A feeling of great sorrow for John swept over Missie. The poor man--to lose so much. She must pray for him more. Willie interrupted her thoughts.

"Missie--"

When he didn't continue, she turned toward him; but it was too dark in the wagon to read his face.

"I been thinkin'," he finally continued. "When we git to Tettsford Junction, there's a doc there."

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"I know."

"I want ya to have a doc, Missie."

"But our baby is almost four months away," Missie purposely exaggerated just a bit.

"I know."

Missie thought on it. "Reckon we could," she finally stated. "How far is yer land from Tettsford Junction?"

"Good week's travel by wagon."

"A week? Reckon I could stand that."

"That's not what I had in mind, Missie," Willie said slowly. "What
did
you have in mind?"

Willie swallowed. "Well, I figured thet maybe ya should stay at Tettsford until after the baby is safely delivered."

"But you're in a great hurry to get to the land--to put up some corrals, fix a house, and get yourself some cattle before winter. . . ."

"Ya, Missie, but--"

"That'd make you late and rushed. By the time I'm ready to travel and we make the trip, you'd hardly have time--"

Willie interrupted. "I'd go on as planned, Missie, an' see to all those things."

"An' leave me behind?" Missie could scarcely believe her ears.

"It's the only way, Missie--far as I can see."

"But I don't want--"

Willie's arm tightened again, but his voice was firm. "I don't want it either, Missie, but it's the only way. I'm not takin' any chances like John took. I--"

But Missie quickly stopped him. "It's not the same--can't you see? Becky was sick-like from the beginnin'. Me--I've been fine all along."

Missie felt Willie's hand grip her shoulder.

"It
could happen
thet ya need a doctor. There are no doctors where we're goin'. There aren't even neighbors who could be midwives. There's no one to help ya, Missie. No one! Can't ya see? I can't take ya there. Not after what's happened!"

A sob caught in Missie's throat but she tried one more time. "Then we'll just have to go back to Tettsford when the time

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comes. I don't want to stay without you, Willie. We'll just have to go back."

"An' iffen the baby comes early--like Becky's? How will we know when it's time? Something could go wrong
any time.
Already, I pray every night thet you'll be fine fer the next day's travel, fine 'til we reach Tettsford. Iffen I take ya on from there, down to the ranch with the idea of bringin' ya back--What iffen we're caught on the trail? What then?"

Missie knew that she had lost, for the moment. She didn't bother to argue anymore, but buried her face against Willie's shoulder and wept. To be without Willie for three long months or more, in a strange town, waiting all alone--how could she ever bear it?

She felt a tear drop gently onto her forehead. Willie was weeping too.

"It's gonna be so hard," he finally said huskily. "So awful hard--but we'll make it. Remember our verse--Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness!'

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Chapter 16

Tettsford Junction

The wagon train made its final camp just outside of Tettsford Junction. The town proved to be a larger settlement than anyone on the train had anticipated. Missie wondered what sustained it after she noted the bleakness of the countryside. The land about didn't appear able to produce any more than a bit of sagebrush.
Who could possibly endure such barrenness?
Missie thought. She turned her back to the wind that seemed to be constantly blowing.

The traveling companions of many weeks shared mixed emotions. John still felt empty and alone. He had difficulty deciding what he should do, whether to continue on his way and join his brother, or look for some kind of work in the town. The promises that the land held seemed empty now that Becky was gone.

The Pages made up their minds to stay in town, as did a couple of other families that Missie didn't know very well. Jessie Tuttle would continue on, so Mrs. Page saved a few choice words to hurl as a parting shot. Jessie ignored the needling, much to Mrs. Page's annoyance.

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Mrs. Emory, the young widow, knew that she had very few options open to her. She would stay in the town. The kindness of the members of the wagon train had gotton her to Tettsford Junction; now it was up to her to take care for herself. She had blossomed and matured during her days on the trail and though she still felt the loss of her husband, she seemed prepared to face life again.

Mr. Weiss and Kathy also decided to remain in Tettsford. Mr. Weiss declared with certainty that such a busy town would be able to use another smithy. Missie wondered if that was the real reason--or if he had developed a secret attachment to the young widow and was willing to bide his time. She rather hoped not. Melinda Emory was scarcely older than Mr. Weiss' daughter, Kathy. However, it was their business, Missie decided, and Mr. Weiss was a very kind man.

Most of the other travelers would be leaving in a few days' time with other trains, traveling northwest to the "prairies." Missie couldn't see how any place could be more
prairie
than where they were at present, and how anyone could actually
choose
to live here. But she did not voice her feelings.

Willie asked Missie if she wanted to go in and see the town, as soon as camp was made and the necessary tasks performed. But she was remembering her last visit to town in the company of Becky, and was thinking ahead to her own dreaded stay in this one.

She declined, and went to her wagon to be alone.

If only Willie would change his mind! Did he expect her to spend three or more miserable months cooped up in this horrible wagon? In this dreary town, with the sun beating relentlessly on the shadeless landscape and the wind howling constantly about the canvas flaps? If only she had known ahead of time that Willie wouldn't be taking her on to his land, to help build a home and establish his ranch. She might as well have stayed at home with her own folks who loved her and would have provided for her.

Why trek halfway 'cross the world and suffer all of the heat, the rain, the mosquitoes, the blistered and aching feet--just to be

dumped off here?
Her thoughts tumbled round and round in her mind. It just wasn't fair of Willie. It wasn't fair at all.

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Missie let the hot tears course down her face and finally fell into an exhausted sleep.

When Willie returned, he was elated and started calling to her even before he had entered the wagon. "I've found a place!" he almost whooped. Missie jerked to attention.

"A place for
what?"

"For you," he declared, surprised at her question. "For you-- while yer waitin'."

She stared at him. So Willie hadn't ever planned for her to spend these months ahead in the wagon.

Missie didn't tell him that she still didn't intend to
wait.
She intended to
go.
But deep inside she knew that it was useless to fight it.

"It's only one room--but it's a nice, fair size. An' it's with fine folks. I'm sure thet you'll like 'em, an' they even said that I can stay there, too, 'til the supply train is ready to leave."

"That's right good of 'em," Missie said with spark, "seem' how you
are
my husband."

Willie ignored the remark and hurried on. "Mr. Taylorson runs a general store an' his wife teaches a bit of piano. Says ya might even learn to play the piano while yer a-waitin'."

"Oh, Willie!" Missie said in exasperation. "What in heaven's name would I want to learn piano for? What good would that do me where--"

"It would help fill in the long hours," Willie interposed. "It might help a heap, iffen ya choose to let it." His words were mild but he gave her
a
searching look.

Missie wanted to flounce off, but there was no place to go-- neighbors' eyes were watching all around. So she turned her back on Willie and began to trim the wick of the lantern which usually sat on the outside shelf, making sure that she looked at ease and composed.

Willie continued, "The doc lives only three houses down from the Taylorsons, so he'll be right handy when--"

"Iffen he's not off somewhere settin' a broken leg or treatin' a bullet wound," Missie retorted.

"Guess thet could happen even back home," Willie said calmly. "But there are two midwives in town--'case he should be away. I inquired."

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"Midwife didn't help Becky none."

Missie grimaced at her shrewishness. She was being unfair to Willie. She knew that. He was doing what he believed was right. She blinked back her tears and steadied her voice.

"An' when does the supply train go?" She deliberately changed the course of the conversation.

"'Bout a week--maybe a little less."

"An' you'll be ready?"

"Plan to be. Think I'll do like yer pa suggested. I'll pick me up another wagon with the rails fer the corrals an' other supplies. That way, I won't be held up none once I git to our land."

"An' where would this treeless town ever get rails for a corral?" Missie couldn't keep her dislike for the place from her voice.

"They haul 'em in. Lots of folks need 'em. Guess there's lumber a lot closer than it looks--some of those hills to the west are treed."

Missie nodded.

"Well, I'd best see to the stock," Willie said and turned to go, then turned back again. "Henry said to let ya know he won't be here fer supper."

"What's he plannin'?"

"He's eatin' with the Weisses. But what he's
plannin'--who
knows?"

Missie smiled in spite of herself. So it was Kathy Weiss that Henry had taken a shine to. He had kept her guessing the whole trip, seeming to give equal attention to more than one girl. Well, at least Kathy also would be staying on in Tettsford--Missie would be assured of some company.

As she began work on the evening meal, she regretted her refusal to go into town. She could have been cooking something special and fresh for supper, instead of the same old fare--if she hadn't chosen to remain at the wagon feeling mistreated and sorry for herself.

She was bored with the food; she was bored with the wagon; she was even bored with her neighbors. Tomorrow she
would
go into town. She might even let Willie introduce her to the Taylor- sons. It wasn't their fault that she would be stuck here in the town until the baby arrived. Not their fault at all.

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Chapter 17

The Taylorsons

Missie awoke refreshed the next morning. She determined to make the best of the day. She washed carefully and chose one of her favorite dresses for her venture into town. Loose and full, with a sash that tied in the back, the small print was cheerful and becoming. Missie felt relieved that it would be usable throughout her confinement--though it wouldn't be as stylish as when it showed off her slim waist. The loose shirtwaists and expandable skirts that Missie and her mama had prepared for "some future day" when Missie would be needing them were all right for everyday wear. But Missie was not too taken with the plain, simple dark skirts and was thankful that she had a nice assortment of aprons to wear over them. She combed her hair with particular care and began to prepare breakfast for the men.

Henry was the first to appear. He seemed to approve of how Missie looked.

"See yer not wearin' yer hikin' shoes today," he teased. Missie looked down at her trim feet carefully encased in smart black boots. She smiled.

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