Lovestruck Summer (11 page)

169 it’s like an accessory, but it’s simple and not girly. She pulls it over my head and pushes it back, pulling out a few strands in the front. “Nice touch,”says Penny. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her give so much style credit to someone who’s not a Tri-Pi. “Gorge,”agrees Chrissy. Then they let me turn around and face the Hollywood-lit mirror. My eyelids are lined in black liquid liner. It’s pretty thick, but not in a creepy-looking way. And the soft auburn eye shadow almost makes my brown eyes look golden. My lips are a soft red, which I wasn’t sure I could pull off, ever, but somehow I do. My hair is unbelievable. It’s the perfect mix of done and undone—loose and a little bit wild around the edges, but tucked back with the black double-band, which con- trasts with my pale hair really well. I look like me, but hot. “The Alpha-Alpha guys are going to die when they see you,”says Chrissy. “I cannot wait for this party,”Penny chimes in. I look up at Jade anxiously.

170 “We’re actually going to Dirty’s tonight,”she says. “Sebastian is deejaying.”“Oh,”says Penny, looking defl ated. But she brightens up again in about half a second. “Wait! Who’s Sebastian?”“Quinn’s boyfriend,”Jade says at the same time that I say, “Just a guy.”Penny’s eyes widen excitedly. “Bring him over after!”“I think we’re probably gonna go some- where else,”I say, knowing that it would not be cool to bring Sebastian to a Greek party. He would hate it. “We can come back here,”says Jade. “Come on, Quinn. . . . It’ll be fun. Sebastian will love your cousin.”“Uhh . . . maybe,”I say, seeing no way out. “Closet time!”shouts Chrissy. In Penny’s room, Chrissy lays out a bunch of clothes in pastels with scalloped edges, and I have to draw the line. “We did the bathroom part,”I say. “Do we really need to go fully Makeover Story on me right now?”Chrissy and Penny nod simultaneously: Yes,

171 we do need to do that. But Jade is more reasonable. “Girls, she’s not ready,”says Jade. “But let’s at least fi nd your smallest band tee.”When we get to Dirty’s, the bar is packed. “Flannel Fades is playing later,”says Jade. “They’re huge here.”“Looks like some of the students are back too,”I say, seeing way more burnt-orange hats in the crowd than usual. We fi nd space to lean against a wall near the DJ booth and I wave at Sebastian. He smiles and holds up a CD, handing it over the edge of the booth. It’s the mix I asked for. I tuck it into my tattered canvas bag for later, and I resolve to replace Russ’s mix with this one, at least outside of the car. “I am so not bringing Sebastian back to Penny’s,”I say to Jade. And then I think I see her roll her eyes ever so slightly. “What?”I ask. “You think I should?”“I think you should ask Sebastian if he wants to go back to your cousin’s house,”she says. “Tell him it’s kind of a frat party, but that it

172 could be fun, even if it’s not his usual scene.”That actually sounds . . . wise. But still scary. Who can face that purple Tri-Pi decor without a little bit of a vurp? “You really think he’ll be cool with it?”I ask. “I really think you should let him decide,”she says. “At least give him a chance to meet these other people in your life.”“But they’re not, like, my friends,”I say. Jade looks at me skeptically. “Yes,”she says, “they are. And they’re cool in their own way.”Then she turns around and her back is to me. I let her words sink in. It’s not that I don’t like Penny and Chrissy and their friends. Well, maybe I didn’t like them at fi rst. But I do hang out with them a lot at the condo, because they’re there and I’m there and . . . I guess they kind of are my friends. They’re just . . . not who I thought my friends would be. When Sebastian fi nishes spinning, he joins us against the wall. We stay for Flannel Fades and I don’t mention Penny’s party until they fi nish their encore. Then Jade does it for me. “There’s a party at Quinn’s cousin’s condo tonight,”she says.

173 Sebastian looks up at me with interest. “It’s a Tri-Pi and Alpha-Alpha party,”I say quietly. “Wait,”he says, his grin widening. “A what?”“Quinn’s cousin is in a sorority,”says Jade. “She’s all insecure about it, but it’ll be fun.”Sebastian shrugs like he doesn’t really care. “Let’s go,”he says. We pile into the Festiva and I pop Russ’s tape out of the deck before I start the car. “Put on the mix I made you,”says Sebastian. Jade knocks me on the shoulder in approval and I smile at her in the rearview mirror. “I can’t,”I say, pointing to the tape player. He laughs. “Whoa,”he says. “I guess you should have specifi ed that you wanted a taped mix.”Then he grabs Russ’s cassette. “‘Indie plus country equals harmony,’”he reads. “Nice. I guess someone knew you had a tape player. Who made this?”“Quinn’s neighbor,”says Jade. “Yup,”I say, starting the car. “So mine wasn’t your fi rst Austin mix?”he asks.

174 “Second,”I say, concentrating on pulling out of the parking lot. “Well, that was nice of her to make this for you,”he says. Neither Jade nor I correct his pronoun.

175 Chapter 15 I can hear the party before we pull in to the condo parking lot. Mainly, I can hear hoots and hollers. Like, real hoots and hollers, as in “Yee- haw!”and “Wooooo-hooooo!”It’s like they’re staging a production of the musical Oklahoma!, with a keg. I’m nervous. Sebastian gets out of the car and pulls his seat-back up so Jade can exit too. We walk into the party, and I’m imagining that record-scratch moment, where the music stops and everyone stares because they know we’re not part of the Greek system, and maybe someone tries to beat up Sebastian because he’s pale and kinda skinny. And then Jade gets in a “bitch!”-calling fi ght because she’s tough and these sorority types like to make verbal digs at

176 girls who don’t look like they do. But none of that happens. When we open the door, Penny runs over to hug me and Jade, and then she introduces herself to Sebastian. He seems slightly over- whelmed by her glossy hair and blazing white teeth, but he still handles himself. I relax a little bit and move into the party, saying hi to Chrissy and grabbing a cup from the kitchen. “’Cilla!”I hear. I turn and see Russ working the keg, smil- ing right over the crowd of people swarming around him and looking straight at me. He’s waving the tap hose. “You know the keg guy?”asks Sebastian. “That’s a good thing, even if he did get your name wrong.”We go over together and Russ reaches out for my hand through the line of beer-seekers. Sebastian grabs on to my shirt and follows. “You look beautiful,”says Russ. And it’s this simple sentence that you think will mean nothing, because maybe your mom has said it to you a thousand times, or your

177 best friend says it when you’re having an inse- cure moment about your outfi t. But it’s not like that—it’s completely different when a guy says it. I didn’t know that until this moment, because it’s the fi rst time a guy has ever said it to me. Three words just gave me goose bumps, and I feel like a girly girl for a second. “Your eyes . . . what’s different?”asks Russ. “Oh, I don’t know,”I say, tugging at the back of my hair self-consciously. “My friend Jade just helped me do my makeup.”“She did a good job,”Russ says, grinning so his dimples deepen. Sebastian noses up to the keg alongside me, pushing a little. “Hey, how about you pour the beer, man?”he says to Russ, impatiently. “What’s up, DJ?”asks Russ, his lips tight- ening as he takes my cup fi rst and fi lls it. “My name’s Sebastian,”says Sebastian. “Of course it is,”says Russ, narrowing his eyes and pouring a lot of foam into Sebastian’s cup. Maybe this is going to turn into the scene I

178 imagined when we walked in. But Sebastian doesn’t seem to notice Russ’s intensity. He just raises his cup in thanks before we walk out to the deck together. It’s hot outside, but not unbearable. Tonight is kind of nice, actually. I lean back on the deck rail- ing and look up at the sky, which seems so huge here, like the earth opens up wider over Texas. “So these are the people you hang out with?”asks Sebastian. “Huh?”I ask, breaking away from my star- gazing. Penny comes outside and I can see her sizing up Sebastian behind his back. She gives me the thumbs-up, which means she thinks he’s cute even though he’s probably not her type. I appreciate that. “So, Sebastian,”she says. “Are you from Austin?”He turns around to face her and smirks a little. “I’m originally from San Antonio,”he says. “I came for the music.”“Cool,”says Penny. “I love the Austin music scene too. And that’s what got Quinn down here, after all.”

179 The music changes and Rihanna is replaced by one of the songs on the mix Russ made me—it’s actually a Wholaheys’song that’s been rerecorded by a country artist, and it’s not half bad. Sebastian turns his back on my cousin. “So you wanna fi nish these and get out of here?”he asks me. “Uh . . .”I stutter, watching Penny’s face fall for a second before she heads over to talk to a group of guys on the other side of the deck. She was just trying to be social, but Sebastian was pretty rude. “The beers,”says Sebastian, pointing to his cup like I’m being too slow for him. “We should fi nish them and then go somewhere else. I mean, frat parties suuuck.”“Yeah,”I say, automatically affi rming what I’ve always thought I believed. But the second after I say it, I realize I don’t want to leave. I stare through the glass doors and see Jade talking to Chrissy and two other Tri-Pi girls, throwing her head back and laughing at some- thing someone’s saying. Then I look back at Sebastian, who is so obviously uncomfortable and anxious to go.

180 And in that moment I hear Russ’s big booming laugh through the walls of the condo. I gaze in the kitchen window and I see him, smile blaz- ing, bumping fi sts with everyone at the keg and laughing like the life of the party. “I want to stay,”I say to Sebastian. “Come on, Quinn,”he says. And his voice sounds whinier than I remember it being. “This isn’t your scene.”I look at him evenly. “I live here,”I say. “And these people are my friends.”“That guy is your friend?”Sebastian points to a frat brother of Russ’s who’s wearing one of those beer hats with the straw that leads straight to his mouth. His T-shirt says, C’S GET DEGREES. “Okay, maybe not him specifi cally,”I say. “But yeah, some of these people have kind of been here for me this summer.”I glance over at Russ, just for a second. Sebastian sighs in frustration. “Look, I know that Penny ditz is your cousin but—”I feel my mouth draw closed into an angry line. “Did you just call my cousin a ditz?”I ask. “Don’t get all protective, Quinn,”he says. “You told me that you think she’s a complete

181 airhead princess.”“I never said that!”I say. “You did,”says Sebastian. “Well, I didn’t mean it,”I say, fl ustered. Have I really been going around talking about Penny that way? I feel a rush of guilt. And besides—she’s my family, so I can talk about her. But he can’t. “You’re not the same girl I met earlier this summer,”says Sebastian. And the weird thing is, I think he’s trying to hurt me by saying that I’ve changed. He’s probably insinuating that I’m not as cool as I once was, that I’ve lost some sort of imaginary edge. But I don’t care what he thinks, I realize. Sure, Sebastian’s hot and he knows a lot about indie music and he makes for a good photo on my Facebook page. He looks like the kind of guy a girl like me would hang out with, go to shows with, be seen with. But somehow, we don’t fi t. “You should probably go,”I say. “Since it’s not really your scene.”He stares at me for a long moment before turning around, walking back through the slid- ing glass doors, and disappearing.

182 Not fi ve seconds later, Penny’s at my side. “What was that about?”she asks, swirling the ice in her drink around with a tiny straw. “He was being a jerk,”I say. “I’m glad you noticed,”she says. “I thought you might be completely blinded by his metro- sexual haircut.”I laugh. “Touché,”I say. Then I pause and think about how to say what I want to say next. “He really is a good guy,”I say. “I think he was just uncomfortable here.”“Hmph,”says Penny. “Well, he’s my type,”I say, trying to defend Sebastian a little. “I mean, I like it when people are like me. And when they understand the music that I like, it feels like they understand a big part of who I am.”“Who you are or who you want the world to think you are?”asks Penny. “What’s that supposed to mean?”I ask. “You’ve got your rock-short haircut, your indie internship, your DJ boyfriend,”she says. “Does it all feel right?”“Yeah,”I say slowly. “It does.”But as I hear myself talking, I realize that music taste is

183 a fl imsy reason to date someone. “Are you so smitten with the DJ that you haven’t noticed anyone else?”asks Penny. “Who?”I ask. “A certain lonesome cowboy next door,”says Penny, possibly creating a new clichéd personal descriptor as she takes a sip from her drink. “Russ?”I ask. “He’s not into me. He just wants to prove that I’m wrong about things. He’s like a stubborn ten-year-old.”Penny laughs and an ice cube fl ies out of her mouth. “He described you practically the same way,”she says, wiping her face. “Right before he told me he was completely falling for you.”“He did not say that,”I gasp. “Well, not in so many words, but . . .”Penny starts. “I haven’t seen him this gone for someone since—”“Penny!”shouts Chrissy from across the room. “You’ve got to hear Jade’s story about her boss. Get in here!”Penny turns to me. “Coming?”she asks. “I’ve heard that one already,”I say. “I’ll be in in a minute.”She leaves me outside on the deck, where I

184 catch my breath. I tilt my head to the sky and take in the stars, making a wish on one particu- larly sparkly one before I go inside to work up the nerve to pull Russ away from the keg. I find Jade, Penny, and Chrissy talking to two other girls by the kitchen island. “Quinn!”Jade shouts, looping an arm around my shoulder. “Meet my new friends Jessica and Ashley.”“Hi,”I say to the two smiling girls across from me. “These girls have amazing tips on how to spot a player,”says Jade. “I am learning all the warning signs that Rick put out. I had no idea!”“Rick sounds like a d-bag,”says Penny. “Total d-bag,”echoes Chrissy. “I’d like to meet him in the roller rink.”“I might just fi nd me an Alpha-Alpha boy tonight,”Jade shouts, and a few interested heads turn our way. The Tri-Pi girls laugh. I love that Jade is just fi tting in and embracing this scene. I wonder why I haven’t been able to do that. Even in my mind right now, I’m judging Ashley and Jessica

185 for looking Barbie-ish and having Simpson sister names. I might be an asshole, I realize. Just like Sebastian. I take a deep breath and look over at Russ. The beer line is thinning. I walk over to the sink and empty out my cup so I have an excuse to approach the keg. “Hey,”Russ says when I get close to him, smiling at me in this really endearing way that makes my heart loop around a little. “Where’s Mr. DJ?”“He left,”I say. “I’m sorry,”says Russ, not looking sorry at all. “I told him to go,”I say. “Did you now?”asks Russ, looking impressed. “Yeah,”I say, trying to sound nonchalant. “So, do you get a break?”Russ lifts both fi ngers to his mouth for the double whistle. “Nate!”he shouts. A hugely tall guy in an actual cowboy hat hurries across the room toward us. “Take over for a few,”says Russ, handing him the hose.