Loving Ean (The Fae Guard Book 2) (18 page)

We sat around chatting until pretty late and at last, the party broke up, leaving me no more excuses not to go home. With a deep sigh, I trudged over to the elevator and pushed the button. I remembered the message I’d ignored and pulled out my phone. Five missed texts over the last ten hours. Crap. He had to be pissed.

Ean:
Where the hell are you, Laila?

Ean:
You’re acting like a child, ignoring my texts and avoiding me.

He had me on that one.

Ean:
Fuck. Something has come up and I’ve got to go.

Ean:
Don’t think this gets you out of anything. Tomorrow, we’ll talk if I have to hunt you down and tie you to a fucking chair.

The last text had come in about twenty minutes before.

Ean:
At least text me when you get home so that I know you’re safe. Please.

Please.
There was my sweet Ean. The one I rarely saw anymore. These were the type of things that had always fueled my hope. Those tiny glimpses of the Ean I fell in love with. But, I don’t have the energy to be optimistic anymore.

After I got home, I quickly changed into comfies, grabbed my latest romance novel, and snuggled down in bed. I got so lost in the story that the next thing I knew, I was at the end. I always want to read the
happily ever after
ending, making me feel all warm and fuzzy. But, last night, I’d closed the book feeling a little angry, well, jealous, I suppose.

My love life had turned into a Grimm’s fairytale, and the ending of this chapter was looming, taunting me because I knew it wasn’t the Cinderella ending. No, it’s the
Into the Woods
ending. Most people don’t even know there is a second half to that play. One where everything falls apart; the love turns out to be superficial and leads to adultery, people die, the bad guy flourishes, and there really isn’t a happy ending. Yeah, that’s the story I get.

This morning I’d woken up in a similar state as I had when I’d been suffering from a hangover. I tried throughout the day to prepare myself for facing Ean.
How’d that work out for you?
I wasn’t very successful.
You think?
It wasn’t like I was scared. It was a bone deep sadness, knowing exactly what the outcome would be, and having no other choice but to accept it.

I was puttering around my apartment a couple of hours ago when my phone chirped.

Ean:
I’ll be home in two hours. I expect you to be there.

My childish side was rearing its insufferable little head, and I had to fight not to text back a smartass reply. I didn’t.

Me:
I’ll be around.

There. Now wasn’t that calm and mature?

Ean:
You’d better be, or I swear I will take you over my knee and spank your ass.

The angry haze that came over me, colored my every thought and action. There were so many scathing replies flying through my head, I was practically dizzy. At some point, I calmed down enough to decide that his comment didn’t deserve a reply in text. Oh, no. This warranted being face to face or should I say, fist to face.

Now, here I stand, the resentment still hanging in the wings, waiting for act two. Whatever. Let’s get this over with.

I raise my hand, and knock.

THE SOUND I’VE BEEN
anticipating, and dreading, all at the same time finally echoes in my foyer. Laila is knocking on my door. The ever present joy and desire I feel when she’s near sweeps through me from head to toe. Then it’s followed by the utter devastation in the knowledge of what I’m about to do. I pushed so hard to get her here, and now I want nothing more than to wimp out.

I’m going to end this, move on, and focus on my job. After talking with the council the other day, I’m even more certain that right now, I need to put everything I’ve got into protecting my people. Then, I went to Fate expecting a little more clarification on what’s happening, and instead, what I got was another lecture about my choice to walk away from Laila. She told me how Laila had experienced my pain when I killed Taran and Rònan. Knowing she felt that agony with me, was just another reason I needed our connection severed. I wouldn’t wish for anyone to be subjected to that torture, let alone the woman I care so much for.

I’d sat in her office, stonily listening to her, all the while knowing she wouldn’t change my mind. There was one moment, a moment when I almost cracked.

“She asked me.” Fate’s purple orbs were probing as she spoke, searching for a reaction.

“Asked you what?” I’d adopted a bored tone, not about to give her an inch.

She narrowed her eyes and the color deepened until they were almost black. “How long she should wait.”

I’d been staring beyond her shoulder, but my head flew up at her words. I needed to know what Fate had told her.

A small, smug, little smile flitted across her face, when she realized she’d finally gotten a reaction out of me. “I told her it was her choice.”

Though I managed not to show it, I was filled with relief at her answer.
Why? You’re just going to break it off anyway?
I had no justifiable reason for what I was feeling. I only knew that I was glad Fate hadn’t simply told Laila to end it.

I got the feeling it was her last warning, and I have to admit, I was a little surprised that I was given one. It’s obviously time to act on her ultimatum.

As I walk slowly to the door, all of my anger from earlier scatters, and I acknowledge that I didn’t know if I could go through with this, I needed to make sure I still had time in case I changed my mind. I still don’t know if I’ll be able to do this . . . to let her go. When I thought she’d been out with Phin, I had to lock myself in my apartment with a bottle of scotch, spending every other minute talking myself out of tracking his ass down, and warning him away from my girl. And, I really, really wanted to punch him in that pretty face of his. I knew the feelings were wholly irrational, and rather childish, but I couldn’t seem to get over this hurdle of thinking of her as mine. How would I watch her find someone else, knowing that they are free to feel her lips on theirs, to touch her silky skin, to see her bright smiles, when I would be allowed none of those privileges? I send a silent prayer up to the angels asking for strength. I don’t expect to get it, what have I done to earn it, but lose a charge to darkness and having a hand in his death?

She knocks again and I’m broken out of my thoughts, gathering that I’ve been standing here, staring at the door. I take a deep breath, and tighten the fastenings to the armor around my heart and soul. Opening the door, I’m met by the most beautiful, mossy, green eyes. Normally, they look the color of grass in the sunshine. Staring up at me now, they are filled with shadows, and I’m engulfed with grief at having taken the sparkle from their depths. Stepping back, I wave her in, valiantly keeping my eyes off of her ass as she walks past me. I close the door and turn around, only to be assaulted by the gentle sway of her hips as she wanders into the living room. She’s wearing black yoga pants that hug every curve of her spectacular ass and legs. Her top is an oversized t-shirt that is falling off one side exposing a lacy, red bra strap. I suppress a groan at the images of her in nothing, but the sexy underwear appearing in my head. Her hair is down, the length flirting with her shoulders and collar bone, as it moves with each step. I drag my eyes to the ceiling and count to ten, the last thing I need right now is a fucking hard on.
Yeah, about that. Too late.

I adjust my jeans as I follow her into the front room. She’s so damn gorgeous, I hesitate, just staring at her, finding myself speechless. She sits on the couch and I hightail it into the kitchen to regroup.

“Drink?” I call out.

“No.” I almost jump out of my skin when I hear her voice right behind me. My libido hurdles into high gear, and I can’t seem to get it to settle back down. I don’t know why she brings out the horny teenager in me; I only lose the tight rein I have over myself when she is near. I take a deep breath and turn to face her.

“Let’s talk about that last text you sent me, Ean.” Her voice is soft but with an undercurrent of anger, and her eyes are spitting fire.

Why is that such a fucking turn on?

“Perhaps you meant to type something else when you threatened to spank my ass?”

I close my eyes in frustration.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Get some fucking control, dickhead!
All I can see now is her pert little ass propped up in the air, flushed pink from my palm. Then her raspberries and cream scent is wrapping itself around me, the green of her beautiful eyes, swirling with fury. I just want to lose myself in her and never come out. My cock is so hard I’m seeing stars, and I can’t figure out how to get it to back the fuck off.

Laila walks toward me, and with every step I’m on the verge of giving in to the demands of my body. When she reaches me, she makes an attempt to get in my face (it’s damn cute when she tries to be intimidating, considering she’s so much shorter than me) with an icy glare. Our eyes meet and she steps back in disbelief, “Are you kidding me, Ean? You’re turned on right now?”

A response really isn’t needed here, so I stand stock still, afraid that one movement on my part will unleash the beast inside, clawing to get to the luscious meal in front of him. She throws up her hands in disgust and marches out of the kitchen. I stagger to the counter in relief, sucking in deep inhales to calm my raging hormones.
Big fucking mistake.
Her scent invades my senses, leading me to think about her taste. This is not helping, and I’m seriously considering asking her to wait while I hop into an arctic shower. Instead, I stand, and walk slowly into the living room, careful not to wince when the constrictive fabric, around my swollen cock, digs into the skin.

“Look, Ean,” she starts testily. “Let’s get this over with, I haven’t got all night.”

I’m about to ask where she needs to be when I remember her lunch the day before, and Phin dropping her off the other night. She better not be insinuating that—“Do you have a date?” I ask snidely. My attitude is totally unjustified, but I can’t seem to let go of my possessive, ok jealous, instincts.

Her eyes are hard and angry when she responds. “What if I do? Afraid I’ll find someone who is willing to give me what you’re not?” she jeers.

My every cell mixes with lust, jealousy, and anger, a combination that wipes all logical thought from my brain. I prowl over to her and grab her by the back of the neck, hauling her up against me before she knows what’s happening. My mouth crashes down on hers, the hand around her neck holding her firmly as my other hand slides along her hip and around to grab her ass, lifting her off the ground so that I’m not bending over to kiss her. She’s stiff for a moment, but it seems like it’s more from shock, because she wraps her arms around my neck and moans, giving me the perfect opportunity to slide my tongue into her mouth. I squeeze hard with the hand I have on her ass, lift her even higher, aligning our groins, and pulling her tight against me as I swivel my hips.

Her legs fly around my waist and she grips me tight, trying to hold onto the pressure I’ve created at her core. I rotate my hips again, just a little, and she rips her mouth from mine to let out a strangled cry. I bury my face in her neck, breathing in her scent before licking a soft trail up to her ear. “I’m going to show you what I can give you that they can’t.” I whisper, my voice hoarse, the muscles strained from containing my need.

She whimpers in response but I want the words. I grab a fistful of her hair and turn her head to face me. “They won’t make you feel like this. Burn like this.” I drill into her eyes with mine, “Do you want me to show you what only I can make you feel, baby?” She tries to nod, but my grip in her hair prevents it. I tighten my fist, “Words, baby. Is that what you want?”

I know what she’s going to say but I decide to punctuate my point by moving both hands to her ass and pulling tight as I thrust my hips forward.

“Yes!”

“What’s that? You want me to fuck you? Mark you so you know exactly what you’ll never get from anyone else?” I make the same move, a little harder this time.

“Yes!”
she screams the word as she explodes into a shuddering orgasm. I wasn’t expecting it and the sight of her ecstasy almost pushes me over the edge. As her tremors die down, I return to her neck, licking, sucking, and nipping, while I walk us back to my bedroom. One last tug on her earlobe with my teeth, and I drop her on the bed, taking in the vision before me. I haven’t had her in here since we were a couple. I didn’t want the memories in here to be from anything but the times when we were in love and happy. We’d only ever gone as far as some very heavy making out, but it was still special compared to the straight up fucking we’ve been doing. I was afraid if I brought her back in here, it would become too intimate, change to making love. I couldn’t risk it.