Loving My SECRET (Corrigan & Co. Book 10) (19 page)

I settle on a set of
Ted Baker pens and a brightly colored pencil bag. When I take them to
the register, the cashier throws something else in the bag. She
doesn’t acknowledge it, so I think it must be a free gift. At least
that’s what I pretend to think. I know something else is going on.
When I walk out of the store, I sit down on a bench, and pull the
little tin out. I have to cover my mouth as a sob threatens to
escape. I know who’s been making all of these little things happen
for me, because only one person would give me a tin of strawberry lip
balm with the words “Queen of Awesomeness” printed on top. Matt.

Strawberry lip balm was
the only make-up I wore as a teen girl. It’s not even really
make-up, but Matt always loved kissing it off my lips. I can’t
believe he did this, and as I get up again, I know that there will be
something waiting for me at my next stop. The girls and I were
talking about the royal weddings one time, and Welsh gold came up.
Clogau is the place for that, and I let it slip that I would love
something from there. I don’t know what it will be, but there will
be
something.
I have
to stop myself from running there, because I really want to know what
he got me. I should be angry that he’s not leaving me alone, but
I’ll think about that later.

I’ve barely stepped
through the door when a man in a suit approaches me. Of course he
does. In the other places, I would be virtually unknown, but in a
jewelry store, the name “Corrigan” will hold some weight.

“You have something
for me,” I say, beating him to the punch.

“Yes,” he tells me,
surprised that I know.

“I’ve been getting
little presents from all over the city,” I explain.

“Of course. He said
that.”

“He?” I ask,
raising an eyebrow.

He visibly pales, and I
know he’s freaking out because he wasn’t supposed to tell me
anything. “Oh, um, did I say ‘he’?”

“You did, but don’t
worry. I won’t tell. Show me whatcha got,” I tell him with a
wink.

He leads me to a
display case and walks to the other side, grabbing a white and gold
gift bag and placing it on the counter. I pull out a black box, and
chew on my bottom lip as I open it

Inside of that box is a
silver heart pendant with a rose gold—I’m guessing Welsh gold—bar
between it and a silver chain. There’s a word on it, “cariad,”
and even though I didn’t study Welsh, I feel like it means
something I should know.

“What does this word
mean?”

“It can mean love or
sweetheart, darling” he tells me with a smile.

My breath catches for a
moment, but I force myself to ask the other question I have. I could
Google it, but I’ve got a real live Welshman in front of me, so why
bother with the internet?

“What does c-w-t-c-h
mean?”

“Ah, that means hug
or cuddle.”

“Thank you,” I say,
trying to hold back the tears.

He looks concerned, so
I smile, grab my box and bag, and make a quick exit. Tears fall down
my face as I walk the short blocks back to my hotel. I wipe my face
before walking through the lobby, and even manage another smile for
the woman at the desk. What I find in my room brings those tears
back, along with more.

There is a beautiful
bouquet of flowers on my dresser. Tulips, peonies, roses, and other
gorgeous flowers in shades of blue. My hand shakes as I pull the card
out, and then I’m openly sobbing as I read it:

Almost twelve years
ago, a stupid boy forgot the flowers. This stupid man will never
forget them again. I love you, My Beautiful Queen.

Reina,

Sleeping in the
guest room sucks. I know I deserve it, but I have never known torture
like what I felt last night. Knowing you’re only a few walls away,
and I can’t be with you…it hurts so bad that I can feel my heart
cracking. I’m so sorry for what I said to Nate. I know I use the
excuse of protecting myself over and over again, but it’s true. You
are more dangerous to me than any insurgent, because if you break
through the crumbling walls I’m trying to hold onto, I’ll tell
you everything. I won’t have a choice. I’m so scared that my
defenses will fall to you, but a small part of me is also hopeful
that it will happen. Because only then will I be able to admit how
much I love you. Even if you hate me, and walk away, I can finally be
honest to both of us. I. Love. You.

Your soldier,
even when I’m not fighting,

Matt

* * *

Seven months ago…

“
How
dare you!” Reina screams at me once we’re inside our apartment.

She’s
been seething all day, and honestly, I don’t blame her. I can’t
let her know that, though. “Oh come on, Princess. You like the
fucking as much as I do.”

“
You
are such a pig.”

“
And
you knew what this was going to be when you agreed to marry me.”

“
I
didn’t expect you to go around telling people you’re just glad to
be getting ‘lucky.’”

“
I
told Nate. He’s my best friend.”

“
I
thought he was my friend, too, but now I don’t think I can even
look at him. It’s bad enough that I have to see the pity in Isa,
Ellie, and Jade’s eyes.”

“
He
knows it has nothing to do with you. They all know that.”

“
Nothing
to do with me? If you’d married one of the other girls, you
wouldn’t tell your friends you just like the regular sex.”

“
That’s
because I wouldn’t be having sex with them. I’d be out grabbing
something on the side while they did the same.”

“
Is
that what you want?” she asks now, her voice sounding small.

I
should lie to her, but I’ve hurt her enough, and I can’t hurt her
more. Not over this. “No. I want you, Rei. Only you.”

“
But
just in your bed.”

“
Well,
the couch, floor, shower, breakfast bar, and pool are good, too.
Although we’ve never been in our pool like that. Yet.”

“
Never.
We won’t ever be like that in the pool.”

“
Why?
I promise we’d have fun. Skinny dipping and shit.”

She
looks like she might cry now, and I don’t know what else to do.
Being honest didn’t work. Being funny didn’t work. I don’t
think trying to seduce her will work right now, either.

“
Please
just go move your things to the guest room.”

“
You’re
not serious.”

“
As
a heart attack, Matt.”

“
Come
on. Just because I said I love having sex with you? You should be
happy about that.”

“
Forgive
me if I don’t fall at your feet, and thank you for the orgasms.”

“
I
didn’t say that. Quit twisting everything.”

“
How
exactly did I twist you saying I should be happy that you love
fucking my body?”

Shit.
I did say that. “I’m sorry.”

“
So
am I.”

I
hear the unspoken words she chose to keep to herself. If I was a
better man, I’d address that. But I’m not, and I can’t pretend
to be, even for her. “I’m still sleeping in the guest room,
aren’t I?”

“
Yes,”
she says, crossing her arms over her chest.

“
Is
there a time limit on this little punishment of yours?”

“
No.
Since my punishment is so ‘little’ to you, though, it shouldn’t
matter, should it?”

Fuck.
I need to just keep my mouth shut, grab some stuff from my closet,
and settle in like an obedient little husband. I’ve been accused by
many a man—and quite a few women—of not giving an inch, of being
a bossy son of a bitch. I usually have to be in control, both in and
out of bed. Not with Reina, though. Now that I have this year with
her, I’m determined to bend to her will as much as I need her to
bend to mine. I want us to truly share the power, even if it’s just
for a year.

But
damn, I’m going to miss being in bed with Reina tonight. Maybe
cooking her dinner will help. Probably not, but I’m willing to try
anything to get back into our bedroom. Seriously. Any fucking thing.
So yeah, dinner is going to be served along with a big slice of
humble pie for dessert. Let’s hope I can swallow it all down
without choking on it.

* * *

Matt

Pain is not an adequate
word for what I’m feeling. Even though I was lying down for most of
the physical therapy session, Waverly was stretching my legs and arms
in ways that she had to have designed in order to torture me. Last
month, I would’ve laughed at the thought of some stretches making
me cry out in pain, but now I realize just how bad off I am, and how
hard I’ll need to work in order to get back to where I was. I’m
not afraid of hard work, but I’ll admit—to myself at least—that
I am a little scared of Waverly.

“The tub is ready for
you, Matt,” she says with a smirk, as she wheels me over. I can see
the bubbles of the large Jacuzzi from where I’m sitting and it
looks like Heaven. “Need some help?”

“You know I do.”

“Yeah, but I wanted
to see the great Matthew Corrigan begging.”

“Sorry to disappoint
you, but I only beg for my wife.”

“I like Reina,” she
says, helping me into the tub.

“Me too.”

I climb in with my
shorts still on, and then reach down to slide them off once my body
is covered. I’m not embarrassed to be seen naked, but I don’t
want to be disrespectful to the people who are helping me heal. Even
if I do think that some of the nurses might like a peek. The old Matt
would’ve dropped trou just for fun, but the new and improved
version I’m going for realizes that my behavior has also been
disrespectful to Reina, and I’ll do anything to stop that from
happening again. Even if we are apart.

My phone rings with an
unknown number from where I left it on my wheelchair. I can’t reach
it without standing, and Waverly takes pity on me. “Matthew
Corrigan’s phone,” she says, answering it with a smile. She even
puts it on speaker phone so I can hear who it is before making my
presence known. I’m starting to like her again.

“Who is this please?”
Reina asks, her voice sounding a little shaky.

“His mistress of
torture,” Waverly answers before I can stop her. She’s smiling
because she doesn’t realize what she’s done, but then she goes
white as she sees my stricken expression. “Reina?”

“You know my name?
How nice,” she says, sounding like it’s anything but.

“It’s me, Waverly.
The physical therapist.”

“Waverly? Oh my God,
did you really torture him today?” she asks, sounding more relaxed,
and even amused.

“Oh yeah. He’s in
pain. I wanted him to beg, but he says that he only does that for
you.”

“Rarely, but it does
happen.”

“Can I talk to my
wife now, or are you going to keep hogging my phone?” I ask, amused
myself, but also craving the thought of Reina’s voice in my ear.

“Such a baby. I hope
you’re having fun, Reina.”

“I am, thanks. And
thanks for taking care of him.”

I grab my phone from
Waverly’s hand, and turn off the speaker. Once I have it pressed
against my ear, I close my eyes and speak. “Hi.”

“Hello.”

“How are you doing?”

“Very well thanks to
this secret admirer I seem to have taken on.”

“Secret admirer,
huh?”

“Yes. Well actually
no. He revealed himself to me today.”

“Oh yeah?” I ask,
watching as Waverly waves goodbye, motioning for me to call for
someone when I’m ready to get out. I nod.

“Mm-hm.”

“Is that a good
thing? Were you happy to know who it was?”

“So happy. I only
wish he was here with me so I could thank him properly.”

“What would you do to
thank him?”

“Are we really doing
this?”

“Doing what?” I
ask, praying that she says what I want to hear right now.

“Phone sex. I mean,
if you want to.”

“I do,” I say
reaching down to take my rock hard cock in hand. “Do you?”

“Yes.”

“What are you
wearing?”

“Nothing special.”

“Everything that
covers your beautiful body is special. Details, please.”

“A black sweater,
black and white skirt, black tights, and black ankle boots.”

“What kind of phone
are you using?”

“An android.”

“I want to see you. I
want to watch.”

“Skype?”

I look around, knowing
I’m alone, but having to make absolutely sure that no one will see
what’s mine. “Yeah. God yeah.”

She hangs up, and so do
I. Seconds later, I accept her Skype call, and see her. “You’re
in the Jacuzzi?”

“I am. You look
beautiful, Rei, but I want to see you take your clothes off for me.”

“Where is your other
hand,” she asks, as she sets the phone down and pulls her sweater
off.

“You know where it
is.”

“Already? I don’t
even have my skirt off yet.”

“Don’t worry, it’s
going to take more than once to get this edge off.”

I watch as she unzips
her skirt and lets it fall to the floor, and then pushes her tights
down to the top of her boots. She’s got on a sexy lace bra that
barely covers her glorious tits, and a tiny matching scrap of lace
over her pussy. I’m stroking myself hard, and my mouth is watering.

“You look so good
when you’re wet.”

“So do you.”

“Do you want to see
how wet I am for you?”

“Yes, please. Leave
your bra on for now.”

She slides her thong
down her legs, leaving it tangled in her tights. She spreads her legs
a little, testing the bonds that are holding her. “You like seeing
my legs bound, while my pussy’s dripping for you, don’t you?”