Loving Sarah (38 page)

Their procession of coaches pulled through the gates of Greenwood, and Sarah wrapped the baby’s light blanket around her daughter. “We’re here,” she cooed to the infant. “This is our new home.”

She managed a smile for the benefit of her sister as they rolled to a stop in front of the impressive limestone facade of her new home. They both commented on how much better the house looked than it had the last time they’d seen it—before the renovations were begun the year prior.

Several footmen descended upon their coaches and began opening the doors for them. Others came forward and began unloading their baggage and assisting both women from their seats. It was an impressive sight to see—four coaches all lined up along the macadamized drive, their inhabitants disembarking.

Sarah lifted her emerald-eyed bundle and went up the wide stone steps to the front landing and looked up at the facade of her new home. “This will be our home, sweetheart. Yours and mine. I will teach you to sail and ride, and we shall fill our stables with only the finest horses, courtesy of your Aunt Elise. And we shall have grand adventures each and every day.” The door opened, and as she stepped inside, she continued talking to her daughter. “Then, when the day comes and you wish to marry, we shall consider men only from the most noble of families. And the young man will have to be very handsome, for I will not allow my beautiful daughter to marry a toad.” She handed Maura over to her nurse and greeted the staff, thanking them all for having everything in readiness for their arrival.

Her sister helped to see her settled into her new home, but wanted to get back to her children and husband. Elise left the morning after the arrival of the two agents from the security firm Ren used. Sarah did as instructed and placed them among her staff to protect her.

The days turned into weeks, and it wasn’t long before Sarah suspected that she carried Ian’s child again. She immediately sent a note to Lia, and another to Elise, both still in London, asking them to come to Surrey.

Two days later, over dinner, Sarah said, “Believe me, I am ecstatic to be carrying again. You know how desperately I want more children. But what is to happen if he learns of my condition?”

“You worry for nothing,” Lia said. “Ian will be thrilled. You just have to reconcile that last memory with him. And ask him to clarify. Does he, or does he not, want to remain married and have children.”

“He should be back any day now,” she reminded them.

Elise paced the long carpet in front of her settee where she rested. “Though I agree with Lia that you may be worried for nothing, I think I would like to speak with him before we send him out here. We must first learn what Ian’s intentions are once he finds out you have remembered everything.”

“The only way to find out is to ask him,” Lia said. “So I will leave a note for him at your Mayfair house asking him to come see me upon his return.”

C
HAPTER
E
IGHTEEN

T
he first days at sea drew on forever. At least they did until they reached Aberdeen. From there, the voyage would be homeward bound, and he couldn’t wait to see his wife and daughter again. Perhaps it was his good mood, or the fact he’d had, thus far, a very enlightening journey. An architect at one of the two shipyards he’d visited thought his drawings had some merit and even asked if Ian minded his copying one of the designs for further study. But most of the people he’d talked with, both ship builders and naval architects, wanted to push their own designs. One builder had shown him some very interesting drawings for the clipper he was wanting to build, but as of yet had no buyer. Ian wasn’t certain about the viability of his design and told the man he’d consider his proposal. In reality, that man had only wanted another opinion on his own design. So Ian went to visit a third shipbuilder and a fourth one after that. All of the yards and designers were in the forefront of their fields, and a couple actually merited second visits with his partner.

He wondered how Lucky fared in Halifax and Baltimore, and if he’d met with Mr. Pook as Ian had suggested or gone to Indian Point to meet with Mr. Watkins, the man his father had worked with. Both men were very respected in their fields of ship design and construction, and he and Lucky would do well with boats coming from the shipyards in Baltimore, as they were Ian’s preference—and not only because he was familiar with the designs.

On the return trip from Scotland, Ian counted the hours till he was home again. He found himself wondering how long he was going to continue to sail. Certainly now that they were making money, they could afford to hire another captain. They’d need several more in two years anyway once they had their new ships, and he thought it was something worth considering now, especially as he found himself missing Sarah and Maura. They were not just his family, they were his home now.

And that was another change he’d noticed in himself. He didn’t know when it happened, but suddenly he had a sense of home, where he hadn’t really had one since his father died. He’d lived on the ship since leaving university, his cabin the only private quarters he needed as he desired little in the way of material possessions.

He’d heard love had a way of upending one’s life and he was now living proof. What had been normal before—the free and unencumbered lifestyle he’d been living the past three years—now seemed inadequate in light of his recent change of heart.

That was when he had realized that loving Sarah had changed him completely. Perhaps that was what was meant by the term “becoming a man.” Because what he’d thought he wanted before in terms of an unencumbered lifestyle now seemed so insignificant and irrelevant. He longed for the responsibilities of home and hearth, of caring for his family and growing old with a woman.

One woman. But not just any woman.

Sarah.

So as he made his way up the Thames to London, he sighed. Relieved to finally be here. Even for what little time he had before they sailed again. This time to China.

The weather in the southern hemisphere dictated when they had to round the cape, thus mandating their departure before mid-September or else they would never make the return around the tip of South Africa before their winter set in. The journey to Fuchow and back was easily nine months, and that was if luck was favoring them and they had no emergencies requiring docking to make repairs for any length of time.

The more he thought about how long he would be gone from Sarah, and Maura, the more he dreaded making the run. But he decided he was not going to let that cloud of gloom mar his reunion with his wife and daughter. Once they docked, he immediately sent word of his return to their home. And in the note, he told his wife how much he looked forward to seeing her that evening.

Ian pocketed his mother’s ring, having decided it was time to give it to his wife. He then made quick work of leaving orders for Mr. Johnson and quickly went to the Mayfair home he shared with Sarah. Upon entering the foyer of the house, he sensed a change had taken place in his absence. Dread washed over him as he envisioned the worst scenarios imaginable. Craggins, their normally unruffled butler, would not meet his gaze and stood stiffer than usual.

“What’s happened?” Ian looked around the house at the servants who were peeking from around corners and behind doors. “Where’s my wife?” He immediately began taking the carpeted stairs two at a time, and when he reached the landing, he turned to the butler who followed behind him as fast as his elderly legs would carry him. “Craggins, is my wife home?” The butler shook his head. Ian hated that he could hear the weakness and fear in his own voice when he asked, “Where is she?”

“We are not at liberty to say, sir. We have been instructed by Her Grace and the Countess not to reveal the lady’s location.”

Ian knew then he’d lost her. She’d remembered everything and had now chosen to leave him.

He’d known all along it was only a matter of time. But he’d hoped to have more time to give her newer, better memories before the old, harsh ones returned. It had been a chance he’d been willing to take at the time, and now he’d come out on the losing end.

The footman opened the door to his rooms, and he entered, expecting to find a note from her, something to explain why and where she might be.

Then he saw it. On his desk in their shared sitting room. Folded parched vellum. And as he drew nearer, the wax seal. When he lifted it, he noticed it wasn’t Sarah’s seal, but that of the duchess. He ran a finger under the fold, opened the note, and read:

Mr. Mackeever,

Our sister is safe. It is in the best interest of her health that you not see her just yet. We must first know what your intention is toward her now that her complete memory has returned.

If you would like to see her, then you will need our assistance. Please call upon us immediately on your return.

Sincerely,

Your Sisters-in-Laws

At five minutes after eight, Ian ran up the steps of the home of the Duke and Duchess of Caversham. He reached for the knocker, but the massive wooden door opened on its well-oiled hinges, a sign that they waited for him. Upon asking for the duchess, he was led to the library where a footman opened the door and motioned him into the room. He saw the duchess seated behind a lady’s desk and the countess standing next to her.

He strode toward them, intent on dragging the information he needed from them. “Where is my wife?”

“Good evening to you, too, Mr. Mackeever,” Elise said.

Lia stood and motioned for him to be seated in the chair opposite them. “She is in a very safe place, awaiting our report of this evening’s discussion.”

“Where is she?” he repeated, ignoring the invitation to sit.

“We will not divulge her location just yet,” Elise said. “Her condition is fragile, and she does not need added worry or stress from a confrontation with you.”

“I would never do anything to cause my wife undue anxiety. And why is her condition
fragile
? Aside from having her full memory return, she is in good health, is she not?”

“Please sit down, Ian,” Lia stated firmly. Frustrated at being made to wait to see his wife—when she was likely above stairs at that very minute—was upsetting. And only when he sat in the chair opposite her at the desk did she continue. “Yes, she is in good health. But her continued good health depends on what your plans are now that you know she’s remembered everything.”

“Her heart is breaking because you accused her of trapping you,” Elise lashed out, almost coming out of her chair. “She did not intentionally land upon your ship, Captain. So there was no trap.”

“But after you did marry, she said you began to come to a comfortable arrangement on the return voyage.” Lia glared at him disapprovingly. “Until you told her you were glad she was not carrying a child, the day she was feeling ill in Liverpool.”

“That was morning sickness you dolt,” Sarah’s sister railed. “She was already with child.”

“How could you, Ian?” This lash was from Lia. He’d sensed she was more likely to pity him than Elise. “She loved you,” her voice trailed off, obviously heartbroken for her sister-in-law over his actions. He’d said those things, and he regretted them now, had from almost the moment the words left his mouth.

“I hope she still does.” Ian shoulders slumped, and he fell back into the chair, the bluster blown out of his sails. “Because I love her.”

“Why haven’t you told her?” Elise asked.

Ian thought over his reply and said, “I don’t know.” He couldn’t speak past the pain in his throat. He swallowed again and tried to finish. “I am afraid…of losing her. And I did try to show her how deeply I cared by protecting her from what I knew were sure to be painful memories.
These
specific memories.”

“Then is it your intent,” asked Elise, “to now apologize and reconcile with our sister?”

“Of course it is,” he replied honestly. “I have missed her and our daughter.”

The two women exchanged a glance.

“Then we suggest you find a way to win her over,” continued Sarah’s sister, “as she’s convinced you were only being kind to her after learning she miscarried the twins.”

“What can I do? How can I prove to her that I don’t want to lose her?”

“You can start by telling her you love her,” Elise replied.

“But whatever you decide to do,” added Lia, “you must hurry if you intend to leave for China next month with my brother.”

T
he mid-August afternoon held a little chill, and Sarah tucked the blanket around Maura’s body more snuggly as the baby rested in the pram. In an attempt to get more exercise, she’d begun walking through Greenwood’s extensive gardens each day, pushing the baby’s carriage herself, with Maura’s nurse and a guard following behind.

But on this afternoon, Sarah strolled along the gravel path without the nurse, just she and her daughter, with her ever-present footman. She thought about Lia’s note, which she’d found on her bedside table when she awoke.

Ian had paid them a visit last night and insisted on seeing her. They had given him their blessing and her location, and as yet he had not arrived. Even on a slow horse, it was less than a five-hour ride from doorstep to doorstep.