Luck of the Draw (A Betting on Romance Novel Book 1) (19 page)

Maybe Randy hadn’t been a great husband or father, but she would never regret he’d made her a mother. And, maybe, like Rachel said, her life would have been different if she’d chosen a different path. Maybe
she
would be different. But, it was the past now. Any chance of choosing the sensible path was behind her. She’d chosen Randy, and now it was her job to be the responsible, reliable one. She had a son to raise, a job to do, a future to prepare for...

Rachel smiled wryly and pushed away her ice cream. “Well, I see I
have
become that overly new acquaintance that shares way too much personal information for comfort and now you don’t know what to say.”

Kate shook off her reverie. “No! Not at all. I’m glad you feel comfortable confiding in me. I just don’t know how I can help.”

Rachel shrugged. “I suppose I just needed to tell someone. Get it off my chest. I’ll figure it out.”

“What will you do?”

“I don’t know. Did I mention he’s
really
good-looking?”

Kate raised an eyebrow.

“Not that I’d act on it! That was a joke...” Rachel trailed off.

“There was a reason you broke things off. And you said yourself
—Doug’s a good guy.”

“I know. I know,” she sighed. “He is. But he’s no eagle tattoo.”

CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN
____________________

“
N
O
,” SAID
J
IM.

“Don’t be stubborn.” His grandmother pursed her lips. “It’s not a date
—”

“Of course it’s a date!” Jim countered. “You said it yourself:
Double
.
Date.”

“It’s just a phrase, James, not a marriage contract.”

“I’m still not going.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a bad idea, that’s all.”

“She’s in mourning,” Grams argued.

“I’m well aware of that.”

“She’s been holed up in that cottage since she arrived. Don’t you think she’d like something to look forward to?”

He pushed his hand through his hair and eyed the potential exits. “Why the big push, huh, Grams? Why can’t you let it be?”

“Because you’re being stubborn. It’s not healthy. You
need
this. Get out with other young people once in a while. Ever since things fell apart with that woman, you’ve been sitting around night after night waiting for that fool beeper thing to go off.”

“You know why I volunteer. If there’d been more responders that night...” He didn’t have to finish the sentence. They both knew what he was referring to. Twenty years later, the tragic fire that had taken his aunt and uncle was still too fresh to speak of.

Grams nodded, her eyes glistening. “That doesn’t mean they’d want you to sacrifice yourself to their memory. You have a life, James. You need to live it.”

“I
am
living it.” At that moment, the ‘fool beeper’ Grams had just complained about went off. “I gotta go.”

“You’re going on that double date, James. It’ll be good for you.”

“I’m not.” He grabbed his cap off the hat rack and opened the screen door. “Kate doesn’t need this.”

“I
SO
NEEDED THIS,”
K
ATE SIGHED as she slid into the vinyl booth at the local diner. “Thanks for inviting me.”

Jim shrugged. He pulled his cap off and set it on the hook at the end of the booth, then slid in next to her. Rachel and Doug settled in the opposite side.

“It was Gram's suggestion,” Rachel said, her hands fluttering like birds as she passed the menus from the end of the booth. “Doug had a final interview today, so we were already in town.”

“Who knows, if we’re lucky, we might be moving back to Sugar Falls sooner than later,” said Doug. “I’m keeping my fingers crossed.”

Kate watched as Rachel refolded her paper napkin on the table and straightened the tines of her fork. “When do you think you’ll hear?”

“They hope to make a decision in the next couple weeks.”

Rachel glanced a brilliant smile at her husband. “We’re so excited.”

Kate nodded encouragingly and pretended to peruse the menu. Aside from taking Liam fishing a couple times, Jim had avoided her ever since the shower incident nearly two weeks ago.

And then he’d stopped by at noon to ask if she were busy tonight—
nothing fancy, just casual
—and she’d hoped he wasn’t avoiding her after all. It seemed a sign of rare good fortune when Nana had invited Liam to come for a sleepover, just for fun.

Now here she was. Sitting in a 1950’s diner, in her prettiest floral sundress, her toenails painted a delicate pale blue, with a date who refused to even make eye contact.

She sipped her water and nibbled her bottom lip.

Jim set his menu on the table and smoothed his hand down his thigh as if he were trying to press himself down in his seat.

“What do you suggest?” Kate asked, hoping he’d at least look at her if she asked him a direct question.

“It’s all good,” he answered, reaching for his soda.

“They have
great
onion rings,” Rachel enthused.

“Mmm.” Kate nodded. At least Rachel wasn’t giving her the silent treatment.

“Lots of people like the turkey dinner platter,” Doug suggested. “That’s what I’m getting.”

“What are you getting?” Kate asked, leveling her gaze on Jim. She’d make him talk if she had to pull his lips apart herself.

Jim stared at something beyond her right shoulder. “Bacon burger.”

“I only like burgers if they’re thick and juicy. Are they thick and juicy?”

His eyes skittered over her face, bouncing off her lips, before he put all his concentration into repositioning his silverware. “Ah, yeah. Yeah. They’re good.”

“Sold!” she announced, closing her menu. She reached across to stack it with the others. She couldn’t care less what she ordered. Her mouth was watering
—but not for hamburgers. Her entire right side was burning with awareness for the man who was so incredibly close... but apparently making a superhuman effort not to touch her.

After the waitress took their orders, they talked more about Doug’s potential job. Rachel chattered over-brightly and Jim continued to sip his soda, contributing to the conversation only when spoken to.

“Where will you live if you move back to Sugar Falls?” Kate asked.

Doug shrugged. “I don’t know. The housing market is kind of tight here, but nothing could be worse than our current place. It’s on the second floor, only one bedroom
—”

“But it’s been home since we were married,” Rachel added.

“Sounds like Randy and me. My husband,” Kate explained. “We had a place just like that for years.”

For the first time, Jim looked up, his expression tight.

“We’ll have to move anyway,” Rachel was saying. “Our apartment will be too small for a baby.”

“We moved, too, right after Liam was born. Randy hated tripping over a crib in the bedroom.”

Jim looked away again, his body rigid beside her.

Smooth move
, Kate admonished herself.
Way to go, bringing up the dead husband. Twice.
She sighed, deflated.

“Do you miss him terribly?” Rachel asked softly, her taut smile replaced by a look of genuine sympathy.

Kate glanced up. “What?”

“Do you miss him terribly, your husband, that is?”

“I, ah...”

“You were so quiet just now. I thought maybe it was hard to talk about him.”

Kate glanced around the table. Rachel and Doug’s earnest, sympathetic faces. Jim’s blank look and distant demeanor.
How to explain she’d been thinking something entirely different?

“It’s okay,” Rachel assured her, “we’re all friends here.”

Kate bit her lip. “The thing is, Randy and I... we’d separated before his accident. In a way, I think I’d already mourned him before he died. I’m fine now. Really.”

Rachel reached across the table and squeezed Kate’s arm. “
Wow.
I had no idea. You’re a brave woman. Most people don’t have the guts to be that honest, with themselves or anyone else.”

“It’s the truth.”

“What happened? In your marriage?”

“Rachel!” Doug admonished, but his wife ignored him.

Kate shrugged. “It’s okay. He was an alcoholic. We married young. Lots of reasons.” She shrugged again. “Sorry. I don’t want to make everyone uncomfortable, but I’d rather you not be thinking you need to tiptoe around me.”

Kate looked to the side. Jim was still playing with his utensils. When she looked up again, she caught Rachel’s curious glance.

“That’s two bacon burgers. Medium. A turkey platter. Garden salad with chicken and onion rings. Did I miss anything?” The waitress set down their plates. “Drink refills?”

“I’ll have another decaf tea,” Rachel said, pushing forward her empty glass. “Plus I need to use the little girls’ room,” she said into her husband’s ear. When Doug shuffled out, Rachel grabbed his arm. “Why don’t you come, too, dear?”

He looked at her a moment, then mumbled. “I’m going to go, ah… wash hands.”

When they were gone, Kate watched out of the corner of her eye as Jim opened his burger for a generous dollop of ketchup then set the bun back on top. He took a bite.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” Kate said.

“What makes you think I’m uncomfortable?” he asked, reaching for his soda.

“You’re very quiet.”

“I’m a man of action, not words.” The moment he spoke, his eyes shot to hers, and she knew he regretted saying them. His eyes darted away.

They both knew what kind of action he was capable of.

Kate fought the nervous giggle that threatened to erupt.

He took another bite.

“Anyway, I
—”

“Try the onion rings,” he ordered.

“What?”

“The onion rings. Try them.”

“Okay.” Kate reached out to pick up an onion ring, not entirely sure why it was so critical she try them
at that moment.

Jim grabbed one, too, then stuffed it in his mouth as if he could speed eat and be done with it.

“Oh, I see. You’re uncomfortable because of what happened the other day.” Okay, so the onion rings
were
good. Still...

“Of course not. I’m fine. Just fine. Try your burger.”

Kate pressed her lips together. “Oh, for Pete’s sake... Rachel and Doug aren’t here. You can say it. Something happened the other day, something...
wild
... and we can’t explain it.”

His eyes flashed to hers. “I can. It’s wrong. Whatever wild thing that happened between us is wrong, pure and simple.”

“Why?” she demanded more out of curiosity than anything else.

“
Because I can’t control it
,” he nearly hissed through his teeth

Okay, she’d admit it. That annoyed her. Good, rational, practical arguments she’d listen to, but this? It was a sorry excuse if she’d ever heard one. “Wrong and imprudent are two different things,” she said. “But I won’t say I’m sorry it happened.”

He stared at her then. Really stared at her. Kate fought the urge to touch her head to be sure she hadn’t grown horns.

“Are
you
sorry it happened?” she asked.

“
Yes.
No. I don’t know.”

“Then why did you ask me here tonight?” she asked, throwing up her hands.

“I said it was casual,” he grumbled.

Right.
Her mistake. Her mistake for making more of it than it really was. Her mistake for hoping for just once things would turn out the way she wished them to, rather than how life always seemed to turn out.

Kate’s face burned with humiliation as Rachel and Doug scooted back into the booth. She stared at her burger, the smell of which had been so enticing a few minutes before was now nauseating.

“Everything okay?” Rachel asked.

Kate faked a smile, sipped her water. “Why do you ask?”

“Probably because you still both look like you’d rather be anywhere but here. If you guys aren’t up to this, we could do this another night.”

Kate snuck a peek at Jim through her lashes as he heaved a sigh and stood up from the booth. “Could you excuse us?” he said.

He reached his hand out to help Kate from the booth then dropped it like a hot potato as soon as she was up. He strode to the door, her trailing behind.

“We need to talk,” is all he muttered once they were outside. Someone bumped them on the sidewalk, and he ran a hand through his hair. “But not here.” He looked up and down the busy main street then gestured toward a path by the side of the diner leading toward the river. Jim led the way, grim-faced.