Lust (4 page)

The days pass by with several visits from Jase and only one from Sean. The whole five minutes Sean is in the shop, he's being fawned over and monopolized by Charlotte, as she makes his drinks. I get the clear message from her, to stay out of their space.

I catch his eye, and we smile at each other secretly when Charlotte has her back turned. His eyes run up and down me like before, and I can't help but respond by looking at him in the same way. That short wordless greeting gets me going pretty fast. My stomach rolls and everything I am is instantly hot and bothered.

I turn the other way and pretend to be busy.

My mind wanders to how I feel about Jase. He'
s started to talk to me and look at me possessively. As if I'm his already. Despite his good looks, I don't want him. He doesn't set my stomach a flutter, like Sean just did, or make me melt when he looks at me. And if I'm going to have a quick fling, there needs to be some burn before the bang.

*

I'm rushing around on Saturday afternoon, which, I soon discover, is our busiest time of the week. It's a whir of cappuccinos, lattes and home made blueberry muffins. They're our top seller. Mrs Santini, the owner of the coffee shop, is a baker by trade. This shop is her sideline. Her bakery is located two blocks away and is very popular and well known.

It's late in the afternoon, Charlotte gets a phone call from her, and being the junior member of staff, I'm sent out by my supervisor for the short walk down the street, to collect the food she has kindly donated to our party. It's a birthday gift for Charlotte and I.

I arrive at the tiny shop a few minutes later and I'm welcomed inside by Eva Santini with a loud greeting.

“Oh, hello sweetheart, how are you?” She wipes her hands on the edge of her wide floury apron and smooths a loose gray wisp of her hair back inside her white baker's cap. She's a lovely round-bodied woman. Shaped like a barrel. Plump cheeked and plump fingered, and covered  from head to toe, in a floury dust. Or maybe it's icing sugar?

“Fine thanks. And you?”

“I can't move, for your party. Take it away, quick.”

I laugh as I walk around the counter and see the pile of eight large boxes stacked there.

“God, there's only a hundred of us not a thousand,” I say with widening eyes.

“Mmm, I got a little carried away,” she agrees. “There's a big cake and all kinds of stuff, but it's not all food. I've just bought you a dozen bottles of champagne from the Wine Factory across the street.”

“Oh,you didn't have to do that, that's so kind of you, Mrs Santini. Thank you.” I give her a hug. My heart swells with her generosity. God knows how much a dozen bottles of fizz cost. It's a real treat. I can't even remember the last time I drunk it.

“You're very welcome. And you're doing so well in the job, Lissa. My customers are really pleased with you and Charlotte. You make a good team.”

“Aww, thank you.” My heart swells even more with her compliments.

“The shop has never been so clean and well run,” she continues, “I'm glad Vicky upped and left me now. And this is my little thank you. Just take it away, before it trips me up.”

I'm so very pleased to be appreciated and grateful for her rather large contribution to our party. But I'm unclear how I'm going to carry it all. Then I have an idea.

“Give me a minute. I need to get myself a man,” I say, giggling.

“Don't we all.” She laughs loudly with me.

I leave the shop with the smallest box of food, which still weighs a ton, dropping it off in the coffee shop. Then I walk across the street and ring the doorbell at Sean's place. I guess Jase will be keen to help.

My jaw drops on the floor as Sean appears. He's shirtless and so smoking hot, I almost have a seizure. I try and focus my swimming head and stare resolutely at his face, as I regain my equilibrium.

“Hi, I need some help carrying our party supplies from the bakery up the street.” I keep my eyes fixed on his. “Are either of you free for a while?”

“Yeah, sure, I could do with a break, we can use my car if you like. Come in while I get dressed.”

I'm mount the last step, and enter. Suddenly Jase rushes to my side like a tornado.

“It's okay, bro. You finish off in there. I'm on it,” Jase cuts in. He's pushing me out and shutting the door in Sean's astonished and thunderous face, within a few blurred seconds.

He takes my arm and waltzes off with me.

“How've you been?” he asks.

“Since I last saw you, two hours ago, just fine.” I laugh. “How about you?”

“Real pleased to see you, baby.”

I look all around me pointedly.

“I don't see any baby,” I splutter with laughter.

“Sorry, slip of the tongue.” He chuckles and gives me a hot and suggestive look. One that clearly says, 'you'll be my baby by tomorrow morning, girl'.

I can't risk upsetting him, in case he doesn't come to the party and Sean doesn't turn up either.  Charlotte would be somewhat pissed, as he's all she ever talks about.

But although I like Jase, I don't want him to completely monopolize my whole birthday party. I want to mingle and enjoy myself talking to my friends who I haven't seen for a long time. I don't want to be cornered with Jase all over me, thinking it's a done deal. And seeing Sean just now, has flipped my applecart right over. I have far stronger feeling for Sean than Jase. I know it's only lust, but Jase doesn't hit my spot in the same way.

I need to give the both of them a wide berth at the party.

“We haven't seen too much of Sean lately, has he gone off coffee?” I mention.

“He's been out on location with Maxine, at a construction site. Shooting different scenes for DeWalt.”

“Oh, and I take it you didn't want to go?”

“Fuck no, I have enough of all that. Carting everything backwards and forwards, hanging around while the lighting and props are arranged, and God knows what else. I'm enjoying being a lazy bastard, watching golf and football on TV, and you've been there for company, in between.” He smiles at me. Way too meaningfully.

*

I have persuaded Charlotte to de-pink her hair. After our shifts end, we go to my place where she enlists my help to apply the dye. This will be her surprise reveal at the party. I bleach out the pink ends, which is fairly simple process, and after that, I apply an ash blonde semi permanent tone, all over. She holds the box fearfully, and stares at it in worried silence, with a furrowed brow. I smother her hair in it, squeezing plenty on, and coating every peroxide strand, very thoroughly. I don't want a streaky result. I have no time for a second application to fix any mistakes. We're due at the party in three hours.

“It'll be lovely,” I assure her. I hope I'm right or there'll be a lot of pain coming my way.

Her hair is jaw length, generally in good condition and the dye takes well.

One hour later she's sitting in front of my bedroom mirror, while I finish drying and styling her ash-blonde bob. She's wearing a smile wider than a Cheshire cat.

Mine is equally wide. I was right. It does look lovely.

“What did I say...?” I can't help but sound smug.

“I can't believe the difference, thanks so much, Lissa,” she replies, her eyes glued to herself in admiration

“I think you'll make a lot more headway with Sean, looking like this. The white and pink hair really didn't suit you.”

“I think I might. It's so cool.” she agrees.

“I'm having my shower now so I'll leave you to get dressed, and remember, earrings only, no facial metal. And minimal makeup, a little mascara, that's all. The red lips are all you want him to see.”

“What about my tongue stud? And the other one? Will that spoil the new image?”

“I guess they're okay, you can't see them and they'll be a nice surprise if you get that far with him.”

“I'm getting so excited now.”

“I can see that.” Her face is pink and her eyes are glittering bright blue.

I go off to the shower and then get ready in Jo's room as Charlie has commandeered mine.

I slip my pretty back underwear on and look at my reflection in the long mirror behind her door. I wish some parts were better, smaller or bigger, but on the whole it's not that bad a body to have. I slip my dress on and fasten the three tiny black satin buttons below theV neckline. I admire the billowing chiffon sleeves, gathered into an elasticated, frilled cuff. The satin bodice of the dress fits me so well, snugly encasing my assets but revealing only a light dose of cleavage. The slightly see through skirt hangs in lush folds against my thighs. I actually love this dress. I bought it for a Christmas party two years ago. This is only the second time I've worn it, not having had the opportunity since. It is a little too fussy for a club, but perfect for my birthday party. I feel distinctly swan-like as I swim around the room in it, the chiffon caressing and whispering as it flows across my legs like a cloud of fluffy feathers.

I straighten my hair, until it shines like glass, and then carefully curl the ends in loose ringlets, pulling my fingers through them to break them up. I'm pleased with the effect. It looks elegant but flirty and pretty. My red lipstick is applied with a brush, blotted and reapplied, so hopefully, it'll stay put. I add a beige eyeshadow and a touch of blush and lashings of mascara.

I stand at Jo's dressing table surveying her bottles of perfume. I select one which I happen to know is ridiculously expensive. I unscrew the tiny pearl shaped cap and dab a dot of the perfume on my pulse points, rubbing my wrists together to spread it out. The fragrance hits my senses in a wave. It's beautiful.

My shoes await me by the door and I slip my toes into them. I'm done.

The finished me arrives at the door of my room. I stand for a moment on the threshold, looking at her. She's sitting on the bed, texting, and looking so amazingly pretty. I hope Sean likes what he sees tonight. She's been transformed, changed beyond belief. I'm a little envious of her new blonde beauty, but I stifle that unpleasant feeling quickly.

She stands up, in the sleek black dress and her high heels, turning this way and that, showing off her cute little ass.

“You look great. Really lovely. He won't be able to resist you, I'm sure.” Obviously I'm not sure at all, but on the whole I'm a happy bunny. I've done my part turning the modern Picasso into the classic Venus. All I have to do now, is stay out of her way and let her storm his castle battlements, which she needs no assistance with. My job here is done.

“Thanks babe, and you look kinda cool.” Charlotte isn't big on complimenting me in return, but I'm not so bothered. All I want is a good night. To enjoy myself. Pulling a guy isn't top of my agenda. I'll probably be trying to keep Jase at arm's length most of it. “Did I mention Reece is bringing his lighting system.”

“No you didn't, that's sweet of him.”

“There are some benefits to having slept with a bar guy and a DJ, you know?” she says, tongue in cheek.

We both burst into laughter. She does have a point there.

We arrive at the coffee shop venue, by cab, at eight. We're both really touched by the scene that awaits us. It seems Eva and her husband Benny have set up the table and the food, the cake is sitting proudly in the middle, covered with cute love hearts and a gazillion  pink candles. They've cleared the counters, putting the supplies and coffee equipment up in the store room. they've also very thoughtfully supplied us with tons of safe plastic glasses.

There's not that much for us to do so we sit around for a while twiddling our thumbs waiting for the bar guy. We let Anthony in at eight fifteen, with his ice barrels, for the beer coolers, and he leaves with Charlotte to get the drinks from her place in his van. Reece, arrives soon after and arranges his DJ spot in the corner, next to the window. I chat to him as I string some little party lights around the place and turn the main lighting low. His UV lights pick up the white of our teeth. They're glowing. Along with the whites of our eyes and my French polish tips.

I look around me with pride and excitement. It actually looks very beautiful in here. It has the air of a grotto, a mysterious little cave of delight.

I can't wait for the party to start, to see my friends, let my hair down, and have a really good time.

The room is crowded already, and it's only nine thirty. I'm pulled here and there, kissed and hugged to death, and pose for lots of photos, which are sent off to Facebook and Twitter.

I've had a glass of wine and Charlie and I are having a real laugh posing together for Instagram, pouting and being overly sexy.

I know they've arrived without looking. It's like a blast of sexual energy hits the party.

I turn, and there they are.

I link Charlotte's arm with mine, and we make our way to the door side to greet them.

“Oh God, I'm so nervous,” she says. I can feel she's actually shaking.

“Just be yourself. That's all you can be,” I try to assure her.

The four of us stand together in mutual admiration.

They're wearing dark jeans, and similar white fitted shirts, with rolled up sleeves. They look stunning, glowing brilliantly under the lights. I think Charlotte is about to faint over Sean. I'm not far behind. The guys look similarly impressed with us and our efforts to appear dark and seductive have obviously won them over.

“You look beautiful Lissa, and wow, Charlie,” Jase says, breaking the lust filled silence.

“Like it?” she says tipping her head this way and that, swinging her silky bob around seductively.

“What happened to the pink?” Sean asks her.

“It wasn't very sophisticated,” she says giving me a worried look.

“You want to look sophisticated, do you?” he raises his eyebrows.

“Yes, why, don't you like it?” she pouts a little, which is actually very appealing.

His face softens. “I'm fooling around, Charlie. You look great,” he grins at her.

“Happy birthday for tomorrow.” Jase kisses her cheek briefly. “And Lissa, for Tuesday,” I get a much. much longer one and a tight bear hug thrown in.

“Happy birthday, the both of you,” Sean leans toward me and presses his lips to my cheek. A wonderful tingling sensation has suddenly invaded me, at the touch and fleeting scent of him. He kisses Charlie and she takes full advantage, “let me get you sorted with a drink, honey,” grabbing his arm and leading him away from us, through the crowd. As he passes by, he whispers, his mouth disconcertingly close to my ear.

“See you later...beautiful.”

The scent of his cologne, the essence of some unknown but delicious spicy notes makes me fly. A rush of heat flows through me, like wildfire.

This is ridiculous. I must stop behaving like a schoolgirl with a crush. Almost swooning at the touch and sight of him and eating every word he says, like it's the food of life. I have a severe case of lust which I need to get over. He's not mine and won't be. I have a girl code to adhere to.

I pull myself together, and smile sweetly at Jase, who no doubt will be my shadow all night.

“Can I get you a drink, it's my round, I guess.”

An hour later, I've finished my second large glass of wine and nibbled at the mass of food as often as I can, to soak it up. We've done the cake candle ceremony and were now into the Champagne phase. Another cork pops noisily every few minutes, as Anthony serves our guests with a small glass each. Everyone's getting trashed pretty fast, based on the loud voices and mad giggling going on around me.

I realize I need to restrict my alcohol consumption, because at this rate, I won't see the end of my party. I don't have a high tolerance level for drink. The air is hot and humid in the small space which is crammed with bodies. There's a damn sight more than a hundred people in here. We have succumbed to gatecrashers, but in my current state of inebriation, I don't care. The more the merrier. It's a great party. Everyone is having a good time, judging by the cacophony of noise and high spirited behavior.

Jase is pressed firmly against my hip, and we're kinda dancing to the beat, rocking from side to side, although I'm subtly trying to inch away from his growing intimacy. Unfortunately, there's nowhere to inch away to. I desperately need a breath of fresh air, to give my ears a rest from the din and some distance between me and Jase.

Sean and Charlie are standing next to the wall nearby. She has her back to me, but I keep catching Sean's eye. It seems every time I look in his direction, he looks in mine. But I can't stop looking and I don't want to.

Charlie has her hand on his shoulder. She seems to be taking things very slowly for her. I guess she really is serious about him, and doesn't want to screw it up. The whole scenario is a form of torture for me. I'm wanting her to win him over and at the same time wanting her to fail. Either way, I don't suppose I can go there after her. She'd never forgive me. Why I'm tormenting myself with him I really don't know, but I can't seem to help myself. My eyes are drawn again and again. I'm remembering the soft touch of his fingers, the intimate way he spoke to me and the way his eyes devoured my body.

I gaze his way again and at that moment Charlie links her hands around his neck, and leans into him.

It's a full on body message.

My stomach tightens hard, forcing me to draw in a long breath.

I don't want to watch her kiss him, but I have to.

My stomach starts churning in anxious turmoil, as he lifts his hands from where they're resting on his hips, his thumbs hooked casually in the pockets of his jeans.

He takes her forearms in his hands, says something in her ear, and gently pushes her away, as he leaves her side. And right now, he's coming toward us with a seriously pissed off look on his face.

Oh Jesus.

That was a clear, 'no thanks honey'.

I forget my own feelings. My heart really does go out to her.

She's looking so angry and upset. She glares at me as if it's all my fault. I expected that. Of course she would. She has to have someone to blame. I feel bad for her, but I can't rush to her side. It would look a little obvious.

She turns, straightens her back and slinks over to Reece, putting her hand on his shoulder and whispering in his ear. He kisses her cheek, and pulls her close. She's obviously chosen her new conquest pretty quickly. And Reece is a very nice second choice, I have to admit. He's tall and lean, with wild blond hair and tattoos. And, I'm thinking, much more her type.

“Hey guys,” Sean says, breaking in on our overly cozy twosome. I'm pleased he's here, not only because his presence pleases and excites me beyond words, but I'm finding Jase's constant close presence to be a strain. I don't know how to deal with him without offending him. I've tried moving away from him, mingling and talking to other people but he simply follows me around and joins in with all my conversations.

“Keep Lissa company while I visit the guys room,” Jase says to him, heading off.

I immediately feel very awkward as Sean gives me a dark and questioning look.

“So, what's going down with you and Jase?” Sean asks, getting straight to the point.

“Nothing, but he seems to think there is.”

“Maybe you should spell it out, rather than lead him on.”

“I'm not leading him on,” I protest.

“You've been flirting like hell and stuck together like glue.”

“It might have looked like that, but it was very one sided flirting, and you were
stuck together
with Charlie. It's hard not to be
stuck together
in here, it's jam packed,” I point out.

“I've never once encouraged Charlie. But she was coming onto me just now, so I had to tell her straight. Pity it had to be at her birthday party.”

“Oh dear, poor Charlie.”

“She doesn't seem to be too upset to me,” he says, casting a glance at her, wrapped around Reece. “And while I have the chance to ask, before Jase returns, are you free for lunch tomorrow? Just you and me.”

My heart starts pounding. “It's not a good idea...no.”

He raises his eyebrows in surprise.“No? Why not?”

I don't think Sean experiences refusal very often.

“It'll cause trouble with our friends.”

“They'll get past it,” he says calmly, and places his hand on my arm. His thumb softly sweeps up and down my sleeve, and his eyes burn into mine. I heat up in an instant. “I've been looking forward to tonight for one reason.” He takes my chin in his thumb and fingers, and tips my face up to his. “Seeing you.”

Initially I feel a wild rush of pure sexual excitement, but my stomach tenses. This is what I'd feared. That he'd reject Charlotte and hit on me. She's putting on a brave face, pretending not to be put out, but I know she's really hurt and upset. I can't do it to her, he's her big crush.

Panic bubbles up inside me. “Excuse me for a minute, I really need a breath of air.”

I turn and push my way blindly through to the back door nearby. It's a fire door which opens into the alleyway. We've kept it locked for the party, as we don't want people using it for unsavory activities. But right now, I need to get out there. It's quicker than fighting my way through the throng and out the front, where there's an overspill of people milling around, most of them smoking. I need some privacy and a quiet minute to think.

I pluck the key from its hiding place and try to squeeze between two well built guys hogging the doorway.

“Guys, I need to go outside,” I say loudly in irritation. I don't know these guys and it looks like they're taking unfair advantage of our hospitality, drinking a lot of our beer, based on the number of empty bottles, littering the floor around their feet.

“Want some company, sweetheart?” The taller of the two asks with a smirk.

“No I really don't, thanks.”

He moves a little in response to my glare and I unlock the door and push my way through the middle of them, to the alley outside, slamming the door closed behind me.

I rest against the wall taking deep breaths of fresh air and gazing up at the stars. Although I can still hear the party, it's quiet and peaceful. Which is more than can be said for me. My head is spinning from the alcohol, and I'm feeling less than peaceful in my mind.

What the hell am I going to do? I can't face Sean or speak to Jase...and as for Charlie... perhaps I'll do nothing... that could be the answer... the path of least resistance, or the cowards way out, more like.

I step across to the other side of the alleyway and put my hands and forehead against the wall. I stand like that for a few seconds, plucking up the courage to return when someone taps my shoulder. I turn, expecting to see Jase or Sean.

But it's neither. The two gatecrashers have crept up on me, and I don't feel at all safe.

“What's up guys?” I ask nervously. I'm suddenly stone cold sober.

“Nothing yet, honey, but we're gonna work on that.”

I try to dodge past them, to get back inside. My heart is beating like crazy with fear.

One of them slaps his hand over my mouth, roughly, and the other one one grabs my arms. Together they propel me, like I'm a doll, up the alleyway, to the unlit part. I'm shoved hard against the wall. It knocks all the breath from my body. I try and push them away with all the strength I possess, but I'm no match for two big alcohol-fueled men. I start to struggle, terrified, clawing at them. One of my nails is ripped clean off, but I don't feel much more than a stinging sensation as my heart is pumping so fast and adrenalin floods my body. I'm desperate to scream, but all that comes out is a muffled whimpering sound, through the hand clasped tightly over my mouth. I go mad, kicking and writhing trying to get free.

And they're laughing at me—at my futile struggle.

“Stop fucking about, bitch, and maybe we won't hurt you too much.”

I flinch and still at the thought of them really hurting me.

The front of my dress is wrenched open, with a ripping sound, and buttons fly away.

A loud roar, a surging, pounding rush of noise hisses through my ears. It's the noise of pure terror. The shock of it makes me dizzy. Tears flood my eyes and surge down my cheeks. I start to struggle again.

I can't just stand here and let them do it.

I'm desperately struggling when my dress is dragged down, off my shoulders and arms and it hangs loosely around my waist. I'm exposed and feeling so vulnerable and helpless. One of them sets on me, slamming into my body with his, forcing himself between my legs. All I can do is kick his ankles.

“
Stop it
,” he grinds out and he bites my shoulder really hard, making his point. I cry out as a painful heat sears through me. His fingers tear into the soft skin of my breast, inside my bra, and his nails scrape an agonizing path downwards over my tender flesh.

My hair is held in a tight and painful fistful, close to my scalp. I can't move. I'm praying I pass out and don't have to experience the horror. This barbaric, hateful attack on me. What have I done to deserve this?

“Oh please. Nooooo,”
I wail, through my tears.

There's a sudden slamming of a door, and a thump of heavy footsteps approach.

“
Get off her you bastards..
.” The deep boom of his voice is full of rage. I think it's Sean but I can't see. The one directly on me is wrenched away and shoved up the wall by my side with a loud resounding thud. My hair and hands are released and I drop to the floor in a ball turning my tear soaked face sideways. My eyes connect with Sean's. I've never seen anything so angry as he is at this moment. He's incandescent with rage. He slams his fist into the guys nose, with such force, that I hear a sickening crunch and blood splatters all over Sean's white shirt.