Lyfe Changing (10 page)

“Don’t get smart now…you’ll
end up dying of thirst out there.” She returned back into the house
and I crotched back down on the ground to finish the job. I managed
to keep myself busy and not think about my drastic downfall from
the good life. I still sat up at night and thought about how I lost
so much…most importantly, I thought about how to get back. I had
been rippin and runnin since high school collecting dough, I had
stacked up so much money over a twelve year period I didn’t know
what to do with it. Money flew out of my hands like rice on a
wedding day, splurging on anything and everything I wanted…until
the feds finally got me.

So after all that had work I
had put in for all those years, taking care of my family, buying
cars, my house, I was now reduce to pennies on the corner and
living with my grandmother…damn I fell off. Things had been so
confusing since the accident which made it hard for me to get a
decent grip on reality. It was hard for me to accept the fact that
I wasn’t the big baller I used to be. “Here drink this…” I looked
up to see grandma handing me a big jug of ice water. “Oh grandma
you shouldn’t have…” I said sarcastically while taking the jug. She
rolled eyes and looked over at me. “You just make sure you get them
weeds around my tomatoes ok…” I nodded. “No doubt.” I continued to
tug on weeds in the yard while she watched over me. I noticed her
staring and looked up at her oddly. “What’s wrong?” She shook her
head and smiled at me faintly. “Nothing, you just look so much like
your grandfather right now…”

I sensed a bit of sadness in
her eyes when she said that. I noticed that a lot during my growing
up over the years. Grandpa Jacob had been dead for some time now
and grandma still had not seemed to be over it. He grew up in New
York, being part of the few Native American families in the Bronx.
Grandpa Jacob was a hardworking man who started up his own corner
store when he and grandma got married…which was well known around
the way. I still remember the look on her face when the police came
to our door that night. They informed us that grandpa had been shot
in a robbery at the family store and died on the spot. Even with
all this time passing, I could still remember seeing my
grandmother’s spirit break that day into a shell of a
person.

After a while I guess she
grew to except his death as one of Gods mysterious and moved on…but
never really had she let go. I gave her a warm smile too break her
away from her painful thoughts. “C’mon grandma…even on my worst day
that man couldn’t hold a match let a long a candle to me.” She
laughed and twisted up her face.

“Oh please….you really think
you hot stuff huh?” I shrugged not caring to show any modesty.
“Well the ladies aint complaining.” Her face changed, it was still
playful and yet serious as if it held some type of underlying
message she wanted me to know. “You can have all the beautiful
women in the world Derrick but beauty fades son…you gone have to
start looking for more than just a pretty face…you need something
more solid than that…something that’s gonna hold you and keep you
grounded” I sighed while wiping dirt on my jeans. “Trust me grandma
in this day in time finding somebody like that will be like finding
Noah’s ark…impossible.” She laughed at me and shook her head. “No
not really…if you know what you’re looking for…and sometimes you
don’t even have to look for it, it’ll find you.” I stood up and
used my t shirt to wipe sweat off of my forehead not really paying
her any mind.

See what my Grandmother
didn’t realize is that times were not like they used to be…where
your woman stuck by you through thick and thin regardless of
anything else. These days and times if you weren’t rolling in
anything less than a Porsche these tricks didn’t even see you…and
thanks to divine intervention my funds can’t even get me a
Buick.
Naw
, I
thought.
Aint nobody out there for
me
. “Hey grandma… these weeds would be a
lot easier to deal with if we had some weed killer?” I said eying
all the vegetables she had in the garden and not trying to work
myself to death. She shook her head. “See that’s what’s wrong with
you young boys…too cute and pretty to get your hands
dirty.”

I waved her off. “Old woman
you aint abut to kill me out here in this heat…working like a
mule.” “Oh please…you look like you are already done.” She pointed
at the finished garden. I looked at her like she was crazy. “Yeah
and it only took me all morning.” Grandma waved up her hands in
defeat. “Well come on in the house and get washed up…I got to go to
the grocery store anyway, we can pick up everything we need there.”
I pulled my hair back and nodded. “Aight...” As I began to walk
past my grandmother into the house she stopped me. “On second
thought…” she said scrunching up her face at me and holding her
nose. “I may have to get you some soap, a towel, and a water hose
cause you can’t be funking my house up like this….boy you smell
awful.” I pretended to be offended as I lifted my arm and smelled
it. “What…I don’t smell anything grandma, what you talking about?”
I smiled. She just shook her head and closed her eyes shut as if
there were burning. “Boy go and take a shower immediately…” she
said pointing to the house. “Hurry up and go… and use a bit of
bleach too.” I threw my head back and laughed at her as I walked in
the houses.
Some things never
change.

“Alright, all natural weed
killers right here...” I held up the bottle to my grandmother as we
made our way down the gardening aisle. We came to the super center
store pretty quickly after I got cleaned up. I was trying to show
her some stuff she could use for her garden but like most women she
got sidetracked by new sweaters out on the clothing rack and other
decorative stuff she really didn’t need. I still couldn’t believe
how her eyes lit up at the sight of the clearance rack…you would
think it was Louis Vuitton. “Oooh… Derrick look at those shirts
over there, this would look so cute on you…” She pointed to a
burgundy buttoned up clearance shirt in the clothing department.
“Uh…no.” I declined politely…or tried to. “Oh hush…” She said
swatting my arm.

“You’ll like it… I’m going
to go find your size.” I shook my head as she ran off to the
clothing department knowing damn well I was not wearing nothing off
of no damn clearance rack. I may be broke…but I still had my
dignity. “Grandma I thought we were here for things that pertained
to your garden?” She continued to wave me off dead set on getting
to that clearance rack. “I’ll just be a minute.” I sighed. “Lord we
gone be here for the next two hours…”I mumbled. I walked up in down
the aisle looking for more stuff that could be of some assistance,
not paying attention to where I was going I ended up bumping into
somebodies cart. “Whoa… damn…my bad I…” I stopped dead in my tracks
when I saw who was behind me. “Hey…” was all I could manage to say
to her. “Hello…” She said so politely. She was just as beautiful as
I remembered; her hair was slicked up into a bun exposing her
pretty face and a nice trail of beauty marks were on her neck. It
was just until now that I noticed that her lovely eyes were grey
which made her standout even more among any other woman I had ever
met.

She smiled slightly at me as
she noticed I was staring at her. “I’m a little surprised you
remember me.” She said modestly. I admired her lovely figure in a
white long coat and tight black slacks…I never seen someone dress
so elegantly, it was very different from the women I was used to…I
guess they don’t make Baby Phat where she is from. I finally got my
mind out of the gutter and spoke to her. “Well it is hard to forget
somebody who saved your life.” She shook her head shyly. “It wasn’t
that serious…I’m mean it was that serious but I…I wanted to help in
anyway could.” She barely managed to get out. I chuckled at the
nervousness she seemed to have in front of me.
Damn boy
, I
thought
. Even in a Wal-Mart garden aisle
you still got it
.

“Well I’m glad you did…thank
you.” I said not releasing my gaze off of her. She nodded. “No
problem…nice to see your doing better.” She said looking me up and
down pretending it was innocent…she wasn’t slick. “Oh yeah…” I said
sticking my chest out. “Haven’t you heard? I’m made of steel.” “You
sure look much better than you did at the hospital…”

I noticed her smile kind of
faded for a moment which reminded me of what happened at the
hospital when she was there…damn. “Listen…about that whole incident
at the hospital, I’m sorry if I scared you. I must have been out of
my mind…” I tried to explain. She touched my arm to silence me and
I felt a surge of heat attack my body. “No apologies, I totally
understand…” When she noticed her hand was lingering on my arm
longer than normal she snatched it away and backed up. I grinned at
her slyly.
So I’m not the only one feeling
the vibe here huh?
My eyes wondered her
body again looking up and down her long beautiful legs, wondering
how good they would feel wrapped around my waist while I had her up
against the wall. She obviously could tell what I was thinking and
I know it was making her squirm a little bit. Destiny placed her
hand around her throat as if it were dry. “Um… well it was nice
seeing you again.”

She said unable to stand the
heat from the sparks igniting between us any longer…to be honest it
was getting a little hot for me as well. I gave her a sly charming
smile. “You too Destiny…” She looked a little taken back. “You know
my name?” I nodded. “You told me…” She looked away from me for a
moment I could tell she was flattered.

“I guess I will see you
around.”

“You definitely
will.”

I watched her as she walked
away looking like a fine black stallion. “Oh…I definitely remember
you?” I said damn near drooling. I felt somebody pinch my arm.
“Ow…grandma what was that for?” She eyed me sternly knowing what I
had been doing. “Well now that I got your attention…we can go.” I
looked at her innocently. “Oh…I was just…” “I know what you were
just…” She continued to scold me. I admitted defeat knowing I was
caught. She shook her head in disappointment. “Derrick what have I
told you about chasing every hefa you see with a big butt and
smile.” “But grandma, it wasn’t like that…” I defended myself. “She
was….” “I know who she was…” she said cutting me off. “She was
another gold digging hooker looking to sink her teeth into your
wallet….like just like the other four you got. Now there is enough
on your plate already Derrick without you adding some hoochie or
another baby to the mix.”

I nodded my head knowing she
was right and there was no point in arguing. “Now come on and let’s
get in line.” I followed behind her like a little boy who was in
trouble. I didn’t want to keep making the same mistakes I had been
making all my life. I had put myself at risk time and time again
doing the craziest shit trying to survive, trying to provide for
myself, my kids, and my family. I remembered a time where I was the
first one ready to hustle and take down any one dumb enough to get
caught out there in my grasp. It used to be so satisfying and easy
for me; steal from the stealers and rob the robbers. For some
reason it didn’t seem as thrilling as it used to…but then again
neither did being broke.

9

Come on in

Derrick

“Come on in Brother
Derrick…we are happy to have you.” Pastor Wallace said as he led me
into the Church of Revelations. The week had begun for me to start
my community service and to tell you the truth I was still dreading
it. When I met with my probation officer earlier that day we did
the regular routine, he laid down the rules I had to follow,
occasional drug test, and regular payments. He discussed a service
where I could work so that the hours I had would count towards my
probation since they were so long. I figured what the hell the less
drama the better. I would have never guessed he would have signed
me over to a church…a church of all places.

Pastor Wallace and I walked
into the sanctuary. Just looking at all those crosses and Jesus
pictures already had me sweating in fear. “Thank you…Pastor…I’m
happy to be here.” I said nervously eying all the nearby crosses
jumping out at me. Pastor Wallace must have picked up on my
discomfort and laughed. “Brother Derrick I’m here to help you, not
throw you into the hell fire.” I nodded and smiled but still kept a
safe distance. I had heard of Pastor Wallace around the way, my
grandmother attended his church when she could and brought me along
with her in my younger years. He was of medium brown skin, height,
weight and had salty colored balding hair. Pastor Wallace was a
funny old man who wore the most elaborate suits every Sunday…and I
mean elaborate, neon green, hot pink, lemon yellow, I could go on
and on. “Well Pastor…” I said still eying all of the crosses. “I’m
not sure what I’m supposed to be doing here?”

I said confusingly. My
probation officer didn’t really go into great detail explaining my
position nor did he care to either. I was told to just show up and
they would explain the rest when I got there. So I put on a white
tank shirt, some jeans, my work boots and came on down. The pastor
cleared his throat and nodded. “Well brother Derrick I have
gathered up some much needed workers here today… to help fix up the
sanctuary and expand it on … build it up...create more space to
teach God’s word.” I looked at him puzzled, not knowing whether he
was talking to me or practicing his preaching for Sunday. He
continued to talk.