Lying Love (Lazy Love Book 3) (2 page)

She sighed. The past was the past. Time to embrace the present. She signed her name again, pushing the poster at Bob while she listened to the next person in line talk about how much she loved the show.

How many ways could people say
Lazy Love
had changed their life?

* * *

A
fter the last
fan had been ushered out of the gymnasium, Valerie rushed over to Amber. “Is everything okay? You never lag behind like that.”

“Yeah. I’m good.”

Valerie studied her friend, her eyes concerned. “Are you sure?”

Amber shrugged. “I saw a ghost, but I’m all right.”

“What are you going to do about this ghost?”

Amber sighed. “I’m having dinner with him and his daughter.”

“Do you want Jesse and I to come with you? We will!”

Amber shook her head. “Bob already offered to bring May. I do know how to use utensils, you know.” She pretended to have her table manners called into account, because she didn’t want to deal with the real issues at hand. She knew Valerie would understand. Sometimes it seemed that Valerie could read her mind.

“I do know this. I also know that ghosts from your past are always difficult to face. Not your parents?” Valerie was the one person in her life who Amber had poured her heart out to.

Amber shook her head. “No. As long as I’m wasting my life acting, they don’t feel the need to see me. The monthly phone calls are good enough.”

“It’s a good thing you don’t need that trust fund, isn’t it?” Valerie asked, keeping her voice down.

“I guess it is.” Amber rubbed the back of her neck. “I need to go. I said I’d be there around seven.”

Valerie nodded. “I want to know every detail of what happens.”

“When do I not tell you everything?”

“When you don’t feel like it.” Valerie hugged Amber tightly. “Make sure you message me when you get back to the set tonight. I’m going to worry until I get a message.”

“Don’t stress the baby out,” Amber said with a grin. “I’ll be there soon.”

“Where are you going?”

“So you and Jesse can eat at the table next to ours and watch us to make sure I don’t die or something?”

Valerie smiled. “I do think dying would be worst case scenario.”

“Trust me. If John wanted to kill me, he’d have done it long ago.”

Valerie’s eyes widened. “So it’s John? Really?”

Amber took a deep breath and nodded. “It’s John.”

“How did you feel when you saw him?”

Amber shrugged. “The same way I’ve felt every time I’ve seen him since seventh grade.” She knew Valerie understood intense emotions. She and Jesse had a special marriage.

“Oh wow. Okay. Be safe, and text me if you need me.”

“I will. He’s bringing his little girl. He’s not going to do anything in front of her.”

Valerie sighed. “I’m mothering you again.”

“More like sistering. I do play your sister on TV, so it’s all good.”

“Okay, don’t forget to message me when you get home. I don’t want to worry all night.”

“Maybe you should hire someone I don’t know to keep an eye on me in the restaurant. Then I’ll be safe!” Amber suggested, rolling her eyes.

“You’re starting to think like May. You need to quit spending so much time with her.”

Amber grinned as she headed for the door. “See you tomorrow. I’ll text when I’m back.”

She thought about walking to the restaurant but knew she’d be safer if she drove. She didn’t obsess about safety like Valerie did, but she hadn’t had the same experiences as her friend.

Amber sat for a moment in her car outside the steak place, breathing deeply. She didn’t know why she was so nervous about having a meal with John. She’d had dates with a few A-list actors, and she hadn’t been this nervous. Of course she hadn’t spent half her life in love with any of them either.

Walking into the restaurant, she told the hostess she was there to meet someone and was immediately led to a quiet table in a corner. John was there, but Nicki wasn’t. “Where’s Nicki?” she asked.

“I forgot she had an overnight planned with my mom.”

“You forgot?” Amber raised an eyebrow. She knew John too well to fall for that.

He shrugged, grinning sheepishly. “I’ve missed you, Amber.”

She hadn’t expected him to blurt out what he was thinking that way. He had as a teenager, but she figured he’d learned to guard his heart better than that.

She sat down opposite him, picking up her menu. She didn’t really need to look at it, having been to the restaurant many times, but she needed a moment to compose herself and get used to the idea that Nicki wouldn’t be joining them.

Finally, she put the menu down and looked at him, ready to order. She was sure she could handle a meal with him now. At least she was mostly sure. Okay, maybe she wasn’t sure at all, but she liked to think she was sure.

When John put down his menu as well, Amber found herself looking away from his green-eyed gaze. She’d always found herself lost in his eyes in the past, as if they could hypnotize her into saying or doing anything he wanted.

“How do you like living the glamorous life?” he asked, taking a sip of the water in front of him.

Amber shrugged. “It’s not as glamorous as you may think.”

“I saw you at the Emmy Awards last week. You looked pretty gorgeous to me. And your boyfriend was very attentive.”

Amber laughed. “That was Ken, one of the cameramen for our show. I refuse to date Hollywood men, and I hate going to those things alone, so he sometimes fills in as my date.”

“I read you and Bob Bodefeld were dating, but he was there with someone else.”

“Yeah, that someone else is his new wife. She’s a good friend of mine.”

He frowned. “I hadn’t heard he married.”

“Yeah. Just last month. They met on an airplane. She’s a romance writer and one of the founding members of Team Bob.”

“What exactly is Team Bob?”

Amber shrugged. “There’s a group of women who practically worship Bob Bodefeld, and she’s one of them.”

“Wow. I can’t imagine being married to someone who worshiped me.”

“I can’t imagine being married. I guess we’re even.”

He sighed, reaching out to take her hand in his. “I’m sorry. If I had responded differently on prom night, I’m sure we’d be married by now. I should have handled things better.”

A
mber sat looking
at him for a moment, a bit stunned. How was she supposed to respond to that? “You are?”

He nodded. “Of course I am. I threw away a love that I was sure would last my entire life in the space of ten minutes.”

She sighed. “I shouldn’t have gotten so upset with you. And I sure shouldn’t have started dating Brian the next day. I knew how much you hated him.”

The waitress came to the table then, and they quickly gave their orders before he turned back to her. “Why did you?”

Amber met his eyes for the first time since she’d sat down beside him. “I really don’t know. My mother realized we’d broken up, so she invited Brian and his family over for dinner. She made sure I knew how she felt about Brian and kept pushing us together. He asked me out, and all I wanted to do was hurt you. I know that’s mean, but it’s the truth.”

He nodded. “I understand. That’s the same reason I dated Kayla. She had a reputation, and I called her as soon as I heard you were dating Brian. I wanted to be with someone for as long as you were dating him, and then she got pregnant, and I felt trapped forever.”

“Wow, she magically got pregnant all on her own? No help at all? I didn’t think there’d been an immaculate conception in over two-thousand years!”

“I heard you were sleeping with Brian, so I slept with her. I know it’s not a good reason, but it’s the truth.”

Amber looked at him with surprise. “Who said I was sleeping with Brian?”

“Brian. He told me how good you were the next time he saw me at school.” John shook his head. “I honestly believed you were sleeping with him after only a couple of dates at the time. I saw red. I punched him in the face right there in the parking lot.”

“What do you believe now?”

He shrugged. “I don’t think you were sleeping with him that quickly, but I do believe you slept with him. You almost married him.”

“Yeah. I almost married him.” Which didn’t mean she’d slept with him at all. In fact, she was sure most of Texas believed she’d slept with the creep, but she had never had any desire to be with him. He wasn’t John.

“His mom blamed you for his death for a long time.” John shook his head. “Of course by that point, I was married and Nicki was born shortly afterward. And then you moved off to Wiggieville and did the whole acting thing.”

She nodded. “I did move off to Wiggieville.”

“What happened with Brian? I know it’s none of my business, but I heard you were at the wedding in shorts and a T-shirt, and he was in a wreck while heading away from the church with your best friend, Karen, in the car with him. Why was she in the car?”

Amber knew she needed to tell him the truth. He was the only person on earth she thought deserved the whole truth. No one knew the story but Valerie. “I went to the church to tell him I couldn’t go through with it. I was marrying him to get my hands on that stupid trust fund, so I could be out from under my parents’ rule. And he went there to tell me he had been sleeping with Karen the whole time we were dating.”

John laughed. “Oh, his mother would have come unglued. Karen’s social status is as bad as mine.”

“Yeah. So he was using me to hide his relationship from his mother, but his trust fund situation was similar to mine. So we both wanted to marry for the freedom.” She sighed. “It was stupid, but we backed out before we married. And then the two of them got hit by that stupid train on their way to marry each other.”

“Were you upset?”

She shrugged. “I guess I was. I felt betrayed more than anything. Yes, I was also backing out of the wedding, but I hadn’t been cheating on him with someone else. He blamed me for not putting out.”

“Wait…you didn’t sleep with Brian? I was sure you had to be if you were marrying him!”

Amber shook her head. “No, I never slept with him. So he told me it was my fault he was sleeping with Karen.” Maybe she shouldn’t have admitted it to John, but she couldn’t let him go on believing she’d slept with Brian. He meant too much to her.

“It wasn’t.”

“It doesn’t matter a whole lot now, does it?” She frowned at the water in her glass, taking a drink. “Tell me about Nicki?”

“She’s sweet and wonderful, and I feel like I should be a better father to her. I didn’t even notice her headband was messed up, and you fixed it.” He shook his head. “I feel so inept at all the girly stuff. I didn’t even know Barbie
had
a camper!”

“When did you and Kayla split? I heard it was shortly after Nicki was born.”

“Yeah. She was three months old, and I got home from work one day, and found a note that Nicki was with my mom. Kayla was gone. At least she didn’t leave Nicki alone again.”

“She left Nicki alone? When she wasn’t even three months old?” Amber shook her head. “That’s so wrong!” She wanted to find Kayla and wrap her hands around her throat. Of course, she’d felt like that about Kayla for years.

“I know. She didn’t have a maternal bone in her body. She wanted to party, not be tied down to a child.”

“What about you? Did you want to be tied down to a child?”

He shrugged. “I love Nicki with everything inside me. I can’t complain about how I got her, because she’s precious to me.”

“And you and Kayla divorced?”

“Oh yeah. Fast. She had the papers delivered to me shortly after she was gone.”

“I hope she pays child support.”

John laughed. “I’ve never received a dime from her. She’s living with some rich guy in Dallas now.” He shook his head. “She relinquished all maternal rights in the divorce. She never cared to see her again. It’s probably my fault, because she wanted to get an abortion, but I just couldn’t let her kill my child.”

“Lovely.”

He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter a ton to me, but I wish she was there for Nicki. My mom is good with her, but I don’t feel like all her free time should be taken up babysitting.”

Amber shook her head. “I agree. What are you doing now?”

“Training horses. You know that’s all I ever really wanted to do. I bought a little ranch between Wiggieville and Jupiter, and I train horses for people. They board them with me, I deal with their problems, and then I give them back once they’re properly trained.”

Amber smiled as she thought of the long rides they’d gone on when they were younger. He’d talk her into packing a picnic lunch, and they’d ride down by the river and lay in the grass kissing. She was surprised when she realized how much she missed riding with him. “I’m glad you get to do what you love.”

“The only thing I’m missing to make my life perfect is you.”

She looked into his eyes, seeing the honesty shining at her. “You don’t mean that. I’m sure there are plenty of women in your life.”

He shook his head. “After Kayla left I realized I didn’t want to be in a relationship just in case you came back and were ready to marry.”

Their salads were put in front of them, and Amber avoided his gaze as she stabbed a bite of it, bringing it to her mouth.

“Give me a chance, Amber. Let me take you out.”

Amber sighed, looking down at the salad. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. We tried to have a relationship, and it didn’t work out. The feelings are gone,” she lied. She couldn’t let him know how much he meant to her. Her heart would break into a million tiny pieces, and she’d never recover if something went wrong again, as it was bound to. Once was enough in her lifetime.

He closed his eyes. “I lied about Nicki having plans with my mom. I wanted to be alone with you, so I called her and made plans. Just give me three dates. For old time’s sake.”

She looked at him, biting her lip. Three dates and she could lose her heart again. But he had meant so much to her. How could she not give him the chance? Finally, she nodded. It was probably the dumbest thing she’d ever done. “On one condition.”

“Anything.”

“I want Nicki to go on the dates with us. I want her to know that she’s important.”

He smiled. “And that’s one of the things I’ve always loved about you. Your giving nature. I don’t know anyone else who would insist on taking a kid who wasn’t theirs on a date.”

“Do you still listen to country music?” she asked, knowing it would seem to be out of the blue.

He nodded. “Yeah. Why?”

“I love the old Brad Paisley song
He Didn’t Have to Be
. I want her to know that she should always get to go.”

He reached out and squeezed her hand, and she felt the same old feelings rush through her. His touch was like no other. When the whole world had wanted her to marry Bob, all she could think was that he didn’t make her feel like John did. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life without the tingles.

She looked down at their joined hands and frowned.
Three dates.
She could make it through three dates. If she couldn’t, there was something wrong with her.

After their meal, he walked her to her car. “Why aren’t you driving the latest sports car? That’s what you drove when you were a teenager.”

She smiled. “When I was a teenager, I wanted attention—especially yours. And I knew that a sports car was the answer. Now I get more attention than a woman could ever want. I don’t want every man in the world to notice me. I get mobbed enough when I go out, because my face is familiar. The show has really changed how I look at things.” She patted her four door compact car. “This car is perfect.”

“I can see your point. You must get sick of everyone knowing who you are and wanting autographs all the time.”

“I do.” She unlocked her door and started to get in, but his hand on her arm stopped her.

“May I kiss you goodnight?”

He’d never asked her permission to kiss her before…well, except for the first time, and that hadn’t really been asking. He’d just announced his intentions. Grabbing her out of the blue and kissing her had been more his style. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”

“I think it’s a brilliant idea. I need to know if the feelings are still there, or if they only live on in my memory.”

She closed her eyes, trying to think of a reason why he shouldn’t kiss her, but nothing came to mind immediately. The truth was that as soon as he touched her, she could think of nothing but being in his arms. It had always been that way with him.

“I guess.”

He put his hands on her waist, pulling her toward him, thinking of all of their shared kisses. All of the longing glances and passionate touches. She filled his senses in a way that no other woman ever had. He knew there was no one for him but her, and he had three dates to prove it to her—with Nicki watching. He had to make the most of this short time alone together.

Slowly he lowered his head, his breath mingling with hers before their lips even touched. He closed his eyes just as their lips met, his hand stroking over her back. He pulled her against him, feeling her breasts flatten against his hard chest, remembering how they’d felt cupped in his palms.

Immediately he knew that the feelings hadn’t gone away during their long separation, but instead, had grown stronger. He needed her like a flower needed sunshine to bloom. She was his other half, and he had to have her in his life. No matter what it took to keep her there.

“Amber…” he said, looking down into her face. Her eyes were closed and her lips were glistening with moisture. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”

Her eyes opened and she stared into his, shaking her head slowly.

“I feel like I’ve been half-living for the past five and a half years. I need you in my life every day. I can’t imagine not having you beside me.”

His eyes mesmerized her as they always had, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him again. “Would you shut up and kiss me?”

He chuckled as he complied, kissing her with all the built-up emotion of five years absence. All the emotion of five years shared kisses and caresses before that. She had been his everything, and now that he was touching her again, he realized she still was.

When he finally broke off the kiss, they were both breathing heavily. “Goodnight, Amber.” She slid into her car behind the passenger seat. “Wait!” he said as she went to close the door. “I haven’t gotten your phone number yet. What’s your schedule like?”

She sighed. “I’m off tomorrow. We have one more week of filming, and then we’ll take a week off. I was thinking of going with Jesse and Valerie up to Wyoming to see their new place, but I can stay here if you’d rather. I’ll go next time.”

“How often do you get a week off?”

“We film for three and then take one off.”

He frowned. “I don’t want you to miss your time off with your friends, but I want to spend time with you as well. How much would it bother you to not go with them? And why did they buy a place in Wyoming when they work in Texas?”

She shrugged. “The show won’t last forever. We’ve got another five or six years at most. Dramas never go more than ten seasons.”

“So they bought a place there for when they’re not working here anymore?”

“Pretty much. Valerie’s having a baby, and they want to raise it somewhere other than LA.”

John nodded. “I can understand that. Stay here this time if you don’t mind.”

Amber shook her head. “I don’t mind. I’m looking forward to getting to know Nicki.” She reached into her glove box and pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. She always carried paper and photos for unexpected fan meetings.

After she handed him the paper with her phone number on it, he leaned down and kissed her one last time, closing her door, and watching as she drove away. He had to find a way to get her to marry him. He needed her and so did Nicki.

As she drove back to the ranch where the show was filmed, she thought about what had just happened. She needed a girls’ lunch. She needed to talk to Valerie and May, because if she didn’t, she was going to make all the wrong decisions.

She still loved John just as much as she always had, and now that she’d kissed him again, she couldn’t deny it even to herself. She just needed to figure out how to guard her heart while she was around him.

She pushed the button on her steering wheel that enabled her to make a call. “Call Valerie.”