Mad About You (47 page)

From the gap in pictures she estimated the time when Lois began to get sick. Suddenly Chad was nearly his present age, and all his poses with Lois were from her bed, where successive photos chronicled her deterioration. One photo in particular caught her eye because in it Lois was smiling especially wide, her thin arm around Chad and his arm around her. It couldn't have been long before she died—the developing paper was new and slick.

She fingered the photo, an idea blooming.

She went to a crafts store and bought a shadow box, then she spent an hour gluing the Nintendo device back together—it would never work again, but she made it look passably good. With adhesive she mounted the game console and other mementos Lois had saved—photos, amusement park tickets, school programs, and Chad’s artwork—inside the shadow box in an artful composition. She set it in her bedroom to dry, suddenly more happy than she'd felt in days.

The phone rang. When she saw Bailey’s name on the display, she let it roll to voice mail, then listened to the message he left.

"Ginny, hi, it's Bailey. I wanted to tell Chad goodbye before he left, but things have been crazy here at the office—God, I never thought I'd hear myself say that." His laugh was short and dry, then his voice grew softer. "I need to talk to you—I'd like to come over. I hope you'll let me explain about Sunday. I'm
sorry...
I should have talked to you before I said anything to Chad. As usual, I only made things worse. I'll be here until around six-thirty." He rattled off the number. "Please call me."

Virginia felt remarkably calm listening to his words. She suspected that her humiliation and anger had simply yielded to numbness. She'd always had a blind spot where Bailey Kallihan was concerned, but now she had a higher priority—her son.

For Chad's sake, she would develop and maintain a cordial relationship with Bailey, even if it killed her... or broke her heart. If she were going to give up her son to him, she would at least keep a little of herself. And just like that, the decision was made... the decision she had feared from the very beginning.

She would allow Chad to live with Bailey.

She would learn to be satisfied with occasional outings, with stolen hours here and there, with being a spectator in her son's life. Within time her own loss would be offset by seeing him happy under Bailey's care.

Virginia inhaled deeply. No more tears.

* * *

"Bailey." Lenny walked into his office and tossed a note on his desk. "Cassie forgot to give you this message. Lady named Virginia called about an hour ago."

Frowning, Bailey snatched up the note.
No need to stop by—will be out this evening. Everything's fine.
"Everything's fine," he muttered. "What the hell does that mean?"

Lenny looked perplexed. "Means everything's fine, Bailey."

"Not with Ginny, it doesn't."

"I take it she's your ex?"

"Yeah."

"Mine's a heap of trouble too."

Bailey pulled a hand down his face, then loosened his tie. "That's not the problem, Len. Ginny's the one that got away."

"Oh, I see. Well, she must be the only woman in the world to turn you down."

"No," Bailey said, smiling faintly. "Just the only one to turn me down who mattered."

When Lenny left, Bailey reached for the phone and dialed her number again, but hung up when it rolled to voice mail. He banged down the phone in frustration, then glanced at his watch. She was already gone.

* * *

Virginia passed the evening shopping for Chad. She gathered underwear, socks, shirts and pajamas—it made her happy to rummage through the racks alongside other mothers shopping for their children. She bought him a pair of workboots, sturdy jeans, a ball cap, and a new life jacket—all things he would need at Shenoway.

It was strange, but after making the decision to let
him
leave, she felt more like a mother. Perhaps to fully appreciate the privilege of motherhood, one had to first experience personal sacrifice.

She dozed fitfully that night, missing Chad in the house and wrestling with the consequences of her own bad judgment where Bailey was concerned. But near morning she fell asleep, content with the knowledge that it wasn't as bad as nights she'd spent wondering if her baby was dead or alive, and wondering what had happened to her marriage. Considering her previous heartbreak, this was a mere crack. She'd make it.

She slept late and awakened to her phone ringing. It was Bailey again, and he left another message. "Please call me, Ginny. I need to talk to you."

Swinging her feet to the floor and pushing herself up, Virginia grabbed her robe and reached for her absent locket. She played the message twice more, listening to his deep, husky voice. Then she erased the message.

Her parents brought Chad home after lunch. When Virginia hugged her mother, Peg whispered that Chad had been subdued most of the trip. Virginia assumed he was still upset about not living with Bailey, so she decided to tell him her decision as soon as her parents left. She carried the wrapped shadow box to the kitchen, then called his name from the bottom of the stairs. For once, his music was at a normal level.

"Hungry?" she asked when he came to the top of the stairs.

He shook his head.

She waved him down. "I have something for you, and we need to talk."

Looking apprehensive, he descended the stairs. "Is it about the letter?" he asked.

She frowned, then remembered the court date. "No, we can discuss that later."

He followed her to the kitchen table and sat down, arms crossed.

Pulling the wrapped shadow box from behind the snack bar, she said, "I know this can't make up for my behavior, but I hope you like it."

Frowning slightly, he tugged at the heavy paper, then uncovered the shadow box a little at a time, saying nothing. He studied the frame, squinting. "It's my game—and all the stuff my mom gave me."

Virginia nodded nervously.
"
You can open the door and add more things if I left out something that’s important.
"

"You did this yourself?"

She nodded again. "I hope you don't mind me looking through your pictures—I didn't touch anything else in your room, I promise."

He chewed on his lip, studying the contents. "I like it," he said finally. "Thanks." Then he stood and walked over to her and gave her a hug.

Not a quick, little obligatory hug, but an honest-to-goodness hug. Virginia could have held on forever, desperately fighting her tears of happiness. When he pulled back, she said, "There's more. Sit." She patted the chair.

He sat, waiting.

Taking a deep breath, Virginia began, her voice only a little shaky. "Chad, I love you very much, and I'll never be able to tell you how thankful I am to have you in my life again." She felt herself begin to choke up, but she fought it and held on. "But I know you'd rather be with your father, and because I want you to be happy, I've decided that you should move to Shenoway and live with Bailey."

For a few seconds he said nothing. Then he asked, "Tomorrow?"

Her heart sank lower. She was hoping to have a few more days with him. "If that's what you want," she said softly. "You can call your dad later and the two of you can decide on a day."

"Are you coming too?" he asked, his dark brow furrowed.

"No."

"But Bailey wants you to live with us, doesn't he?"

She shook her head and chose her words carefully. "Grownups are funny. I think Bailey talked about us all living together because he thought it was the only way he could be with you. Does that make sense?"

He shrugged. "I guess." After a few seconds he began to squirm in his seat. "Can I take this to my room?"

"It's heavy, I'll help you."

Together they carried it to his bedroom and set in on a shelf. "It looks nice," he said. "My mom—I mean Lois—would really like it."

Virginia smiled. "I'm glad." She squeezed his shoulder, then glanced at her watch. "Are you going to call Bailey?"

Chad frowned slightly. "I'll call him later. Can I go to the park and skateboard—by myself?"

She started to shake her head no, then remembered her promise to stop being so overprotective. "I think that'll be okay if you promise to be careful."

He nodded. "I promise."

She ruffled his hair. "Okay, but be home before dinner."

She walked downstairs, then heard him gallop down several minutes later. "Bye," she yelled from the kitchen, but she was drowned out by the slam of the front door. Five minutes later the phone rang. Bailey again. Sighing, Virginia picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hi, Ginny, it's Bailey."

"Chad just left to go to the park."

"That's okay, because I called to talk to you."

"Bailey," she said calmly, "I've been doing a lot of thinking, and you were right—you and Chad were both right—he belongs with you. I've decided to let him come live with you at Shenoway."

After a few seconds of silence he asked, "Why don't I have a good feeling about this?"

"Relax," she said quickly, "I've already told him and he's very excited."

"Ginny—"

"If he's agreeable, I'd like to see him at least a couple of times a week, but we can work out the details later."

"Ginny, we need to talk about us."

She couldn't think of a statement that wasn't provocative, so she simply said, "Okay."

"I get the distinct feeling that you didn't believe me when I said I wanted all of us to live together in the house. I asked Chad not to tell you because I wanted to ask you in private."

"Look, Bailey," she said carefully, "you don't have to take the package deal. I appreciate you being nice to me—"

"Being nice to you?"

"—but I'm not putting conditions on Chad living with you."

"You think I made love to you so you'd let Chad move in with me?"

"I wouldn't have used those exact words," she said.

"I'm coming over right now," he growled.

Frowning at the dial tone, she replaced the handset and took a deep breath. A confrontation was inevitable, but she'd be calm and collected. Once Bailey had custody of Chad, he'd eventually feel free to drop the boyfriend act, then perhaps they could be friends. Until then, she'd be as cordial as possible, for Chad's sake.

A few minutes later, Virginia heard the sound of Bailey's car door slamming. He rang the doorbell twice, then started knocking before she could walk the length of the hall. When she opened the door, she swallowed her surprise at his work clothes—a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a loosened silk tie. His face was anger-flushed as he stepped into the entryway.

She closed the door and turned to face him, carefully keeping her face impassive. For several seconds they simply looked at each other, Bailey's breathing becoming more and more erratic. He put his hands on his hips and glared at her.

"I assume you have something to say," she prompted softly.

"I'm so angry right now," he seethed, "I don't trust myself to talk."

"Angry at me?" she asked calmly.

"Angry at you, angry at myself," he said, raising his hands. She could see his big fingers were trembling.

"Do you want to sit down?"

"No!" he barked. "I don't want to sit down. I want you to tell me you don't love me, dammit!"

She blinked. "Excuse me?"

"If you expect me to walk out this door and never come back, you have to tell me you don't love me."

She opened her mouth and shook her head. "I..."

"Say it!" he demanded. He grabbed her by the arms and pulled her to him, holding her in an iron grip. "Say it and mean it."

"You're hurting me," she whispered.

"And you're hurting me," he said in a choked voice, then released her suddenly.

She stumbled backward a half step. "What's this all about?"

He took a deep, shaky breath, his eyes clouding with tears. "I love you, Ginny, and I'm not leaving here until you're convinced of that. I want to marry you, and I want us all to live at Shenoway as a family, but if you tell me you don't love me and there's no chance of it happening, then I'll leave you alone."

Speechless, Virginia stared at her ex-husband, realizing with sudden clarity that he was a different person from the one she'd taken her vows with years before. That Bailey had been a scared boy, pure of heart, but immature and selfish. This Bailey was a strong, capable man, unafraid to show his love,
and
willing to fight to keep
his
family together.

"I love you, Ginny, and I want you back in my life." He bit his bottom lip and inhaled sharply. "I've been kicking myself for eight long years, and I'm not about to let you go this easily."

She studied his eyes, overwhelmed at the love she saw there. Smiling tremulously, she murmured, "I—I don't know what to say."

"Just give me some hope we can work things out. Just tell me if there's a chance you might be able to love me again."

"Again?" she asked. This was her moment of truth. Could she risk laying her heart out for him to see? "I can't remember
not
loving you, Bailey."

He straightened and swallowed, then narrowed his eyes. "Say that again."

"I love you, Bailey… I never stopped."

A faint smile lifted the corners of his mouth as he took a step toward her. "Say it louder."

She smiled. "I love you, Bailey."

Another step, a bigger grin. "Louder!"

"I love you, Bailey Kallihan!"

He stopped in front of her. "I love you, too," he whispered. "So much."

Seconds passed and her gaze remained locked with his.

"Are you just going to look at me?" she asked.

His blue eyes narrowed. "No," he said softly, grabbing her arms more gently this time and pulling her to him. Virginia's heart thudded against his. He lowered his mouth until his breath brushed her lips. "I'm going to kiss you until you lose consciousness."