Mad Addiction (Crazy Beautiful #2) (16 page)

I cut in. “I already told you, you have nothing to be sorry for. My mother was the one who was wrong.”

Kelley throws her head back and stares at the ceiling. “But that’s just it, Ry. She wasn’t wrong. I’m not really your fiancée so it really isn’t any business of mine what goes on in your family. In six months it’s not even going to matter, so you had to defend me for nothing.”

Is that what this is all about? She thinks I don’t actually care about her? That I only stood up for her because of our lie? “Fuck, Brooks, is that really what you think? That as soon as this baby comes I’ll kick you out on your ass and we’ll pretend to barely know each other?” I stand up, getting agitated. Doesn’t she see I’m trying here?

“I’m just saying this is harder for me than I thought it would be. Trust me, I still completely understand the deal we made and I don’t want to change it,” She swings her legs to dangle off the bed, but stays sitting on the edge. “I just didn’t realize how comfortable I would get being around you. It’s sort of how I always pictured my life, but it’s twisted and backwards. When I was actually engaged to Jake I felt like we were strangers. We barely spent time together and he never did anything remotely protective. He didn’t even want our baby, actually wanted me to get rid of it. And now I’m pregnant with your child after what was supposed to be one stupid night, we live together and sleep in the same bed and have sex, but our relationship is a complete joke.” She lets out a sad chuckle. “I can’t ever seem to get it right.”

That makes me stop dead in my tracks and stare at her. “It has never been a fucking joke to me, Kelley.” She flinches at my words and I realize they came out louder than I meant them to. I’m pissed at her for thinking I don’t take this seriously, and pissed at her fucking ex for treating her like shit. What kind of sick fuck tells his girl to abort their baby? Darrin’s advice echoes in my mind as I recall everything Kelley told me at the wedding in regards to how she views relationships and love, which makes me soften my voice and kneel in front of her. “Look, I know that what we’re doing doesn’t make any fucking sense, but you have to believe that I have never said or done anything with you that I regret. I want to have this kid with you and I asked you to move in here and I gave you my grandmother’s ring all because I wanted to. Even if we both know there’s no way in hell I’m Prince Fucking Charming, I care about you and you will always be special to me. I realize now it wasn’t fair of me to drag you into all of this because of my own fucked up past and insecure shit. You deserve to be happy with someone you actually like, Brooks. I mean that.”

She looks down at her lap and blushes. “I do like you, Ryan. You’re my best friend.”

Fuck. I am an asshole for being too selfish to admit she deserves better than this. Better than me. She’s the type of girl who needs passion and romance, and I am just not that fucking guy. For the first time in my whole entire life I wish I was—for her sake—but I’m just not. Ever since I turned my life around after it turned to shit when I was a teenager, I’ve purposely kept my distance from women. I couldn’t even be there for my sister when she needed me most, let alone try and start something with someone who isn’t my own flesh and blood. Love is not something I’m capable of and I don’t know how to date or any of that other sweet guy bullshit, but I know I can try to do whatever it takes to make sure this beautiful, feisty girl in front of me is always safe. “And you’re mine, Brooks, so if you want out of this just say the word. I’ll still help you and the baby in any way I can, but if pretending to be together is too much just say the fucking word and I’ll take care of it. And I’ll make sure everyone knows it’s my fault.”

She looks into my eyes and I see so many conflicting emotions staring back at me it’s hard to tell which one is winning out. In a quiet yet firm voice she responds, “That’s not what I want, Blake. This is my fault as much as it is yours and we’re in so deep now, we might as well finish it. I just get anxious not knowing what’s going to happen or how this will all play out. I’m so afraid of what people will think of me if they find out the truth . . .”

I move to sit next to her on the bed, putting my arm around her shoulders.
Damn, she’s always so soft and warm.
“Well, since we like each other, and you’re stuck with my sorry ass for at least another six months, how about we agree to take it a day at a time and worry about the future when we get there? Let’s just enjoy each other and fuck what anybody else thinks, OK?”

I pull her close and can feel her smile into my chest as she says in a muffled voice, “Ok, sounds like a plan, Bartholomew.”

Shit, this girl knows how to get me every time. My turn. “Besides, you know you can’t get enough of my hot body.” I lift my eyebrows seductively. “One taste had you coming back for more.”

This makes her laugh out loud, so I know we’re good. At least for now.

Still holding her close, I lay us both back on the pillows so she’s half draped on top of me. I’m so comfortable I’m about to fall asleep when I hear Kelley’s tired voice pull me back awake.

“Ry?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“I’m sorry you have to lie to your mom. I know you hate how fake she is, but I want you to know you’re nothing like her.”

My chest feels like it’s in a vise hearing her say nice shit like that to me. I don’t deserve how good and kind she is, especially after tonight. “I sure hope you’re fucking right on that one, Brooks.”

“I really liked your sister and your Grams, though. They make me feel just as safe as you do. I’m sorry we have to lie to them.”

“I’m glad you got to meet them. They can see how much I care about you, and that’s no lie.” It’s the honest fucking truth.

She wraps her arm tighter around my waist, snuggling her face in my chest. I rub small circles down her back, which makes her entire body soften. Just when I think she’s fallen asleep, she says in a sleepy voice, “You’re going to be a really good dad, Blake. I want you to know that, too.”

Unable to form words due to the sudden tightness in my throat, I move my lips to press a soft kiss to the top of her head as my reply. We both give in to sleep, and my last thought before I lose consciousness is that for a guy who never cuddles, I sure as shit could get used to this.

Kelley

Twenty Weeks

“C
ongratulations Mom and Dad . . . it’s a boy!”

Dr. Conners beams as she moves the ultrasound wand over my stomach. Ryan starts fist pumping, and I groan. “Oh great, just what the world needs, another Blake boy.” I roll my eyes, trying to conceal a smile as I tease, but for once it does nothing to change the huge grin plastered across his face. I’m glad for that.

He looks damn smug as he replies. “Fuck yeah it does.” He moves to get a closer look at the small screen, tilting his head left, then right, before pointing to one of the black and white shapes. “And looks like he already takes after me. Is that his—?.”

Dr. Conners laughs as I swat Ryan’s arm. He gives me a not-so-innocent ‘W
hat?’
look. “Sorry to disappoint, Ryan, but that’s just his leg.” Dr. Conners proceeds to point out all of the anatomical parts of our child, much to Ryan’s fascination.

“I’m going to teach this kid so much cool shit.” He looks at me excitedly before kissing me on the forehead, a gesture I’m beginning to love. After our talk a month ago we’ve put a lot less pressure on defining our relationship, and things have been really good since then. Just like Ryan said, we’re taking things one day at a time, and I feel happier than I have in a long time. I’m not worried about the future or how my life is supposed to turn out, I’m just enjoying being here, knowing that our son is healthy. Our
son
. I’ll admit a part of me had hoped I would get to buy all sorts of cute dresses and bows for a sweet baby girl, but the more I see Ryan’s genuine smile and bright eyes, I can’t help but feel more than proud to have a little boy that looks just like him. And god help all the mothers who do have little girls, because I just know he’ll be devilishly handsome and infuriatingly charming, just like his dad.

A week later I’m sitting at work going over some new commercial listings when a knock at my office door startles me. Gemma is standing in the doorway, holding an awkwardly large package.

“This was just delivered for you.” Her small arms struggle to hold the box as I rush over to help place it on my desk.

“Thanks, Gemma. Do you know who it’s from?” I scan the box for any indication, wondering what it could be.

Gemma shakes her head. “No idea, but from the size of it I’m sure it’s gotta be something really great.”

She smiles before exiting my office, leaving me alone to find out what’s inside. I tear off the brown paper to reveal a white box wrapped with a silver silk bow. I pull the ribbon and open the top, shoving aside the piles of ivory colored tissue paper to reveal a thick, plum colored coat and matching knit hat. A simple white card is folded on top.

Sunshine -

When you get home tonight put these on and be ready by six.

Don’t argue, just do it.

x R

P.S. The coat & hat are for you, but the rest is for me ;)

My heart swells as I pull the hat over my head and reach for the pretty jacket. I pull it out of the box to get a better look, which reveals a black lace bra and matching panties tucked underneath. I chuckle, realizing the meaning of Ryan’s note. The guy is good, I’ll give him that. This surprise is so unexpected and so unlike Ryan that I find myself feeling giddy at the possibility of what he has in store for us tonight. I pile everything into the box, and try to focus back on my work, but am too excited to concentrate.

At five o’clock I rush home, box in tow, and wait for Ryan to arrive.

At quarter to six I hear the elevator ding from the hall and hold my breath as Ryan walks through the door. He smiles when he sees me standing in the living room, wearing the coat and hat. “I see you got my present.” He eyes me from head to toe appreciatively.

I revel in his stare, letting him take it all in. “Yup. I got the box and your note and did exactly what you said.” I smile sweetly, and he immediately knows something is up.

He puts his things down on the kitchen counter before making his way over to me. “It can’t be that easy, Brooks. It’s never that easy with you.” He smirks, knowing me too well.

I keep my composure and shrug innocently. “I came home, put on what was in the box, and am here waiting for you. Just like the note said.” He moves to stand in front of me, and I untie the coat’s belt, pulling it open to reveal me in nothing but the lace bra and panties underneath. “See, I can follow directions quite well.”

I smile seductively as Ryan’s eyes turn a shade darker. His hunger is obvious. He moves his hands to my hips, getting as close as he can with my growing stomach nestled between us. I can already feel how hard he is against my abdomen. “Fuck, Brooks. I’m going to have to tell you what to do more often.”

His lips move down my neck, causing me to whimper. “You can try, but I can’t promise I’ll always be so willing to listen.”

His mouth makes its way to my ear. “I’m sure you could be persuaded.”