Made For Us (11 page)

“You weren’t safer on the beach!” he yelled back, unable to believe that not five minutes ago he was about to kiss her and now they were arguing again. “You may not want to believe this, but there are times when I actually
do
know what I’m talking about and do know more about something than you! This apartment is a hell of a lot safer than being on the damn coast in the direct line of a hurricane!”

Tears began to well in her eyes and Zoe cursed them. She hated that he was right. She hated that she was stuck here. But more than anything else, she hated the fact that he had the ability to make her cry, even indirectly.

She felt scared and trapped, and there was nothing she could do about it. It took every ounce of strength to fortify herself and get her heart rate under control again. She had to prove that she was strong.

“You know what, Aidan? It doesn’t matter what happens because you’ll find a way to make it seem like no one knows what’s best except for you.” Her voice shook as she spoke but at least she kept the tears from falling.

He, too, was trying to be calm. “I have lived here my entire life. I’ve lived through dozens of these storms, and I know what to expect. Please. I don’t want you to freak out. Let’s just sit and try to calm down. Okay?”

“If it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll go lie down. My suitcase is in the bedroom so I’m guessing I’m going to use the bedroom and you’re sleeping on the couch?”

If Aidan didn’t know better, he’d swear there was some sort of taunt or dare in that statement, but he’d let her be for now. If having some time alone made her calm down and feel better, he’d gladly let her have as much time as she needed. Rather than speaking and risking upsetting her even more, he simply nodded.

Zoe barely acknowledged the motion as she turned on her heels, walked to the bedroom, and slammed the door.

The sound of the door slamming was louder than the damn tree limb hitting the house. Baron jumped up with a whine and tucked his tail between his legs. With a curse, Aidan put the chips, dip, and cookies away, picked up the dog, and sat down with him on the couch.

As strange as it seemed, Aidan was thankful for the company. “I know exactly how you feel, boy,” he said softly as he patted Baron on the head. The dog settled closer and soon had his head resting in Aidan’s lap. “It seems like I can’t catch a break with her. Even when I’m doing the right thing, I’m wrong.”

Baron looked up at him with woeful eyes, as if he completely understood what Aidan was saying.

“You’ve got it easy. She was happy to see you. You know I’m going to keep you safe, right? Why can’t Zoe see that?” He sighed and raked a hand through his hair. “If I could control the weather, I would. I don’t know what it is that she expects from me.”

Baron put his head back down and promptly closed his eyes, seemingly done with this conversation.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Three hours later, Aidan was ready to climb the walls. The storm was raging far worse than he had expected. He had no cell phone reception but luckily he had power and TV. It boggled his mind, but he was thankful nonetheless.

He and Baron had bonded, anyway. They’d sat there in mournful silence watching the storm on the TV, occasionally alternating to watch ESPN and tune in to the sports events on the West Coast. Before he realized what he was doing, Aidan was talking to the animal again.

“Well, buddy, what do you think, huh? It’s not so bad here. Sound of the rain on the roof, nice and cozy inside. Why do women make everything so complicated?” He rubbed behind Baron’s ears, and the dog seemed to go into sort of a blissful trance. The dog was doing okay, at least. He was paper trained, so Aidan hadn’t had to take him outside, and the dog was pretty well behaved. He was small enough that he fit on the furniture, and the couch was beginning to take on a layer of white fur, but Aidan had to admit the pup was pretty good company. Not a close second to hanging out in close quarters with Zoe, but Aidan had obviously blown that for the moment.

He figured it might do well for them to have dinner, something hot, before they lost power. He had a generator too, for such an emergency, but he still felt it might be nice for them to have full power to prepare a meal.

Looking at the closed bedroom door, he contemplated knocking and asking Zoe if she wanted him to bring her something to eat or if she might want to join him in the small dining room. From what he’d gathered from all of her outbursts today, the fact that he didn’t ask her things and simply told her what was going on was a sore spot. He made a note of that and would try to be careful to not do it again in the future.

Zoe had mentioned she’d done some cooking just in case she lost power, so Aidan supposed that would be the smartest way for them to go, eat what was readily available just in case they lost power in the middle of cooking. He was just about to stand and go knock on the door when the news report suddenly regained his attention.

The reporter was standing on the beach. And not just any beach—Zoe’s beach. “Zoe!” he called out and was mildly annoyed that she didn’t answer. There was the possibility she had fallen asleep, but he was beginning to feel uneasy with the direction of the report.

“No one expected the storm to make landfall with this much strength,” the reporter continued, barely able to form words while trying to avoid being blown away. Aidan had to wonder what kind of idiot made someone risk their life for a weather report.

Or what kind of idiot took the assignment.

“Authorities tell us that most of the residents chose to evacuate, many at the last minute. But as you can see behind me, no one can doubt that they made the right decision.”

Everything in Aidan went cold and numb.

Behind the reporter was Zoe’s house.

It had collapsed into the ocean.

Aidan didn’t know what to do. Maybe he was seeing things. Maybe it was some sort of mistake. Maybe he was having a bad dream. The footage showed the actual collapse of the house, and with each loop of footage, he felt more and more ill.

How was he supposed to break the news to Zoe? If she was freaked out earlier over a tree limb cracking, what was she going to do when she saw her house falling into the ocean?

“Okay, get a grip,” he admonished himself. “This has to be done. You need to be the strong one.”
I’m always the strong one.
“Just go and knock on the door and ask her to come out here. She can watch the news report herself and then you can figure out what she needs.” Looking down at the dog, which was pacing with him, Aidan wished that Baron had some answers.

The pep talk did little to calm his fears. He knocked on the bedroom door and called Zoe’s name. She didn’t answer. Either she was being stubborn or she really was sleeping. Deciding that he couldn’t wait, he cracked open the door and peeked inside… There she was, sound asleep.

Aidan walked over to the bed and cursed the fact that he was going to have to disturb her and give her such devastating news. Maybe he should wait? After all, there was nothing they could do about it now. On the bed, Zoe stirred, and he knew that if their roles were reversed, he’d want to know.

He sat down beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She felt so much smaller than he imagined. Delicate. Whispering her name, he gently shook her shoulder. Zoe slowly opened her eyes and at first she seemed pleased to see him, but then she must have remembered their earlier argument because in an instant she looked annoyed. “What are you doing in here?” she asked groggily.

Taking a steadying breath, he made sure to keep his voice soft and calm. “I need you to come out to the living room with me. There’s something I think you need to see.”

For a minute she thought about defying him, but there was something in Aidan’s eyes that warned her this was something important. Forcing herself to sit up, she pushed her hair away from her face. “What is it? What’s happened?”

Oh
God
, he thought. He didn’t want to be the one to have to tell her. “Just…trust me. Please.” Standing up, Aidan held out a hand for her. “Please, sweetheart.”

Zoe’s heart began to race. This was bad. This was so, so bad, and if Aidan was afraid to tell her, it just scared her even more. Taking his hand, she rose from the bed and followed him into the living room. Baron sat regally beside the couch like a furry little soldier, and if Zoe wasn’t mistaken, it was as if he knew something she didn’t. Aidan led her to the sofa and motioned for her to watch the TV. After five minutes, she turned to him. “What am I watching for?”

“I’m sure they’ll play it again in a minute,” he said grimly.

Zoe reached for his hand and clutched it in both of hers. “Aidan, please. You’re scaring me. What’s happened?”

He swallowed hard. “A few minutes ago they showed footage from the beach. Your beach.”

“How can you be sure? I’m sure in this mess the entire coast looks the same.”

Aidan knew Zoe had no idea how much he wanted that to be the case. He was just about to say that when the report came up. All he could do was point to the screen and wait.

She gasped as her hands flew over her mouth at the sight of her house collapsing.
This
can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.
Her stomach roiled and she thought she was going to be sick. Everything in her wanted to turn to Aidan and confirm what she was seeing, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the screen. Slowly, Zoe began to rock, everything in her churning and trembling.

Aidan had never felt so helpless in all his life. Very cautiously, he reached out and placed a hand on Zoe’s knee. He whispered her name. “Hey. Are you okay?”

Zoe turned to him with disbelief. “Aidan, my whole life just crashed into the ocean! Everything I own is gone! I’m homeless! Ohmigod, what am I going to do?” She jumped up from the couch and looked down at him as tears began to fall.

“Okay,” he said calmly, slowly rising to his feet.

He did his best to be the voice of reason. That was his job. It was what he always did. “I know you’re upset and I wasn’t sure what the right thing to do was—do I wake you up and show you what happened or do I wait? I thought you had the right to know.”

Her eyes went wide and then a rage like she had never known came unleashed. In the last six months she had lost her mother, moved across the country and away from the only home she had ever known, and now her new home was in the Atlantic. All of which she screamed at Aidan. “You’re damn right I had the right to know!” She began to pace the room furiously. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve to keep having so many horrendous things happen to me!”

She was getting hysterical and Aidan knew from dealing with his sister that it was important to try to reel her in. “I know this is bad, Zoe, I do. But you have to thank God that you weren’t home when it happened. This could have been so much worse.” For a minute, he really thought it had worked, that his words had gotten through to her and calmed her down.

What sounded suspiciously like a low growl came out of Zoe’s mouth before she came at him.

“Oh my God. My personal belongings, Aidan! My clothes, jewelry, photos…” And that’s when it hit her. It was like losing her mother all over again.

“Zoe…I’m sorry.” He felt completely helpless. There didn’t seem to be anything he could say that would make her feel any better. He reached out to touch her, to maybe pull her into his embrace, but she moved away as if he repulsed her.

“I just…I need to be alone.” Turning away from him, Zoe walked to the window and watched the storm raging outside.

“I know things look bad right now,” Aidan said from across the room, “but they’re going to get better. I know we can’t replace everything, Zoe, but we can try.”

She just stood with her back to him, looking out the window and shaking her head. “I don’t think so, Aidan. I don’t want your help.”

Aidan considered himself to be a reasonable man. He was the one in the family to whom everybody turned when they had a problem, and for the most part, he knew exactly how to help them. Granted, this particular situation was definitely out of the ordinary, but it certainly wasn’t his fault. He’d saved her life, dammit! Not that he was expecting a thank-you or anything right now, but in the grand scheme of things, he was the good guy in this scenario and he had hit his limit at this point! He knew she was upset—hell, she was more than entitled to be upset. And he could have handled a little animosity thrown his way but not this, not all of this.

“Well, that’s just too damn bad because you’re going to take it! Right now, I’m all you have, Zoe. Now I’m sorry this happened, but I’m not sorry that I came and made you leave this morning. You’d be dead right now, sweetheart. Have you thought about that?”

That silenced her for a minute. Taking a calming breath, she looked at him. “I can’t keep starting over, Aidan. It’s not fair. I can’t keep losing everything and then be expected to just pick up and be all right and ready to start over. I’m done.”

“No, you’re not,” he said, his voice softening. “It’s overwhelming right now, but it’s going to get better.”

Zoe stormed across the room until she was standing right in front of him. “What do you know, Aidan? You have your family with your successful and brilliant siblings; you have people you’re connected to who love you. You have no idea what it’s like to lose everything! So don’t you dare stand here and try to sound like you understand what I’m talking about or what I’m feeling because you don’t. You can’t!”

“Really? What…you think you’re the only person in the world who’s ever lost someone? Well, news flash, Zoe, everyone has dealt with loss! You think I don’t understand what you’re feeling? You’re wrong. My entire world collapsed around me when I was eighteen. My mother was killed by a drunk driver while driving home in a storm. I was away at school and I thought my whole life was ahead of me. I was going to play in the NFL and be a football superstar! And then in an instant, everything changed.”

Zoe hadn’t known about his mother. Only today had he even mentioned his father. In all of the talk about his family that she had heard, no one had bothered to tell her that his mother had been killed.

“I wanted to drop out of school,” he said harshly. “I didn’t know how I was supposed to go on. My father pushed and insisted that I go back. Told me how proud my mother was of the man I was becoming and that I should continue to do that for her. So I did it. I didn’t want to but I went back. Two years later, I blew out my knee and that was the end of my football career. And I lost everything
again
. So you know what? Don’t you
dare
stand there on your damn soapbox and lecture me, sweetheart. I’ve not only been there before, but I live with the sadness and the disappointment and the devastation of knowing that I’m never going to see her again every damn day.”

“Aidan…I…” She reached out to him but he turned and walked away. There really wasn’t anyplace for him to go because the apartment wasn’t very big, so he simply walked out into the storm, with Baron right behind him.

“Great,” she muttered, still staring at the door. “For those keeping count, I’ve lost my mother, my house,
and
the dog. Fan-freaking-tastic.”

* * *

Zoe had no idea how long she had been lying on the bed curled up in a fetal position and staring at the wall. Everything was gone. She focused on a spot on the wall and did her best not to blink because if she closed her eyes for even a second, she could see her house collapsing into the ocean. She had clearly seen that the houses around hers looked pretty battered and broken too, but knowing her misery had company somehow wasn’t very comforting.

Aidan was right; she
was
lucky to be alive. If he hadn’t come for her, she certainly would have died. And she should have shown him a little gratitude. While everything certainly looked grim right now, there was no way she was ready to just give up. That wasn’t the kind of person she was and that wasn’t the person her mother raised her to be. She just wasn’t used to leaning on anyone else, and it was scary to think about leaning on Aidan.

Even though he’d offered.

And where was he? He had walked out into the horrific storm. She hadn’t heard the truck start up, but she might not have been able to with all the rain and wind. How far could he have gone? Just thinking about it made her feel ill. What a mess.

There was no way to take back the things they’d said. Sure, in time maybe they’d each forget, or pretend to forget, but it was never going to be completely gone. Why was it that they seemed to bring out the worst in each other? How was it possible to go from laughing and joking one minute to screaming and yelling the next? They were a volatile combination, and Zoe knew that was the last thing she needed in her life right now.

She’d never thought she was the type of woman who’d crave someone to comfort her and take care of her. While she knew the importance of being independent, that didn’t mean it wouldn’t be nice to have a man swoop in and take care of some of her problems once in a while.

Like
how
Aidan
swooped
in
and
saved
your
life
today? Or took you out to dinner when you had a flat tire…that he paid for.

Maybe.

Well, it’s not like Aidan’s actions weren’t first and foremost about his need to control things
, she thought
.
Right?

And damn if that didn’t hurt.

In the time she had been living in North Carolina, Zoe had met plenty of men. Unfortunately, the only one who really captivated her attention and made her want to just simply purr in pure female appreciation was Aidan Shaughnessy. And in all of their interactions, just when he’d seemed interested, he’d pulled away.

Or maybe she was just seeing things that weren’t really there.

Too bad there weren’t such things like possible-future-relationship-material goggles or something. She’d definitely invest in a pair of those.

For the life of her, she couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her that kept…repelling…Aidan. Zoe knew she wasn’t Miss America material, but she certainly wasn’t the kind of woman men kept pushing away! Great. It was just her luck that she finally found a guy she was interested in and he had to be the one pulling back.

Rising from the bed as the windows began to shake with the force of the wind, Zoe padded over to the bathroom and grimaced at her reflection. “Yup, keep looking like this and the whole male population will push you away,” she muttered. Her hair was tangled and her makeup was streaked from crying. She was a mess. Add to that the cropped yoga pants and the plain white T-shirt and she cringed. “Thank God for my pedicure,” she said as she looked down and wiggled her toes. “At least my feet are pretty.”

Doing a quick scrub of her face, she decided against redoing her makeup. What was the point? It wasn’t as if she were able to hold Aidan’s interest even when she was wearing some. She tried to tame the mass of curls on her head but after a few minutes, she just gave up.

Stepping out of the bathroom, she had a decision to make—crawl back in bed or go in search of food. The sound of her stomach growling made the decision for her.

She was going in search of the damn chips and dip now that she had the chance.

They still had power and the TV was still on—muted, but on—and without looking at it, she shut it off. There was no way she could risk seeing the footage of her house again. It was too much too soon.

Walking to the kitchen, she changed gears and opted for something with a little more substance, pulling out the container of potato soup she had made earlier. It seemed like a hearty, storm-related comfort food to have. Going through the cabinets, she pulled out a pot, transferred the soup into it, and placed it on the stove over low heat. Quickly washing out the container, she rummaged around and found the rest of the things she used to garnish the soup—bacon, sour cream, and cheese.