Maeve's Symphony (15 page)

Her suite at the Warwick had transformed into her sanctuary following that debilitating exchange with Josh but today was performance day, and she had to get moving.

After that—who knew?

“And who even
cares
?”

Maeve's grousing soliloquy ended with a jump when a knock sounded at her door.

“Room service.”

Breakfast. Bliss. Food would soothe her disposition. So would massive quantities of coffee and a few minutes spent perusing the pages of
The Post
, which always accompanied her morning meal.

After retrieving her standing order of yogurt, fresh fruit, and a lemon muffin, Maeve propped her back against a cushioned headboard, pouring coffee and indulging in the fragrant brew before anything else. She settled a serving tray across her legs and paged through the day's headlines until she reached page six.

“Looks Like an Exquisite Pass Reception!”

Superstar quarterback Josh Andrews and his school-days flame Maeve Callahan (see her on stage tonight at Lincoln Center!) seemed to enjoy much more than succulent seafood at Randolph's recently. Seems a shoulder injury hasn't gotten the better of this all-star QB for Detroit. During a recent radio interview with WKJG-FM's Chaundra Cinnamon, rumors of a romance with the ravishing singer came to light—and it seems they're not just rumors!

Beneath the paragraph was a picture, pinned by the ‘Exclusive' banner, that featured her and Josh snuggled together, exchanging private smiles and a meaningful look while they shared couch space at Randolph's.

Gagging on a surge of rage Maeve pushed her tray aside and flipped her legs over the edge of the bed. She stomped to her phone and yanked it free of the charger cord, activating the alert chimes she always silenced at night. When she woke the blasted thing up, it nearly erupted. Texts… missed phone calls… tweets… Facebook alerts.

“Seriously?” Maeve shouted the word, swamped by an influx of dread. “No. No, no, no, no, no.” She stalked back to the bed and flopped onto the edge, folding her legs. All she wanted to do was scream at the top of her lungs. Really? Really this had happened? Now? On the day of the biggest performance of her life?

Yet again, matters with Josh had exploded in her face.

Oh, he could pontificate all he wanted about finding a way to hope and relationship, but this splash of black ink sent the cold water of truth across her heart and desires.

Desires.

Maeve faced the word head-on and went taut. Isn't that what had landed her in trouble to begin with? Misbegotten passion and an overflow of love for Josh—an overflow she had been in no way equipped to handle?

She threw down the paper and fingered back her sleep-tussled hair, spinning through text messages. Top of the list? Josh. Curious, she took a brief back-pedal through voicemail and found two missed calls and a voicemail from him as well. His text read:
Saw the Post. I'm so sorry, Maeve. Please call me ASAP.

Next came Aileen.
If I don't hear from you by ten o'clock, I'm storming through your door.
That communiqué almost made Maeve smile.

She opened an alert from Kassidy.
Seriously? Page six? Who on earth captured that pic? Call Me.

“I know, right?” Maeve spoke emphatically, as though Kassidy sat right next to her.

Sure, we're weeks into the season, but I'm giving up Cinnamon for Lent. Gossipy woman. Love you.
Siobhan's outreach caused Maeve to melt. What a cutie.

Drew Wintower checked in, and so did Liam, who said only:
Unscheduled publicity, eh? Nice pic.
Beloved friend or not, Maeve wished she could throttle the man.

Tapping the access code to voicemail, she'd no sooner lifted the phone to her ear then a loud, urgent series of knocks sounded at the door. Ignoring messages, she padded to the entryway and yanked open the door.

She faced not only Aileen but the entire Sisters posse. To their everlasting credit, they appeared as affronted as Maeve.

“Now that we've been treated to a dose of drama from the print sector…” Bristling with injustice, Aileen swept into the room.

Siobhan drifted past, pecking Maeve's cheek before perching on one of the guest chairs. “Are you OK?”

“Dandy.”

Kassidy entered last, sticking to Maeve like glue. She slid a comforting arm against Maeve's waist and Maeve returned the squeeze, but the small gesture expended what little remained of her self-control. Maeve trounced to the bed and flopped stomach first onto the surface, burying her head beneath a pillow.

This day was supposed to be so very different.

“OK, upside.” Aileen's voice was muffled by the pillow Maeve pressed against her ears. “You're trending on Twitter.”

Ugh!
Maeve tightened her squeeze on the pillow.

“And you're totally gorgeous in the picture.”

Maeve moaned at Siobhan's interjection, kicking her legs against the downy comforter.

Kassidy laughed at Maeve's overdone drama. The bed space gave slightly when she joined Maeve and began to rub her back. “All kidding aside, what's the real issue here? I mean, it totally stinks being invaded like that, but this is Josh we're talking about.”

“KC, stop!” Maeve scuttled to a stand, determined to somehow set the record straight. “The wonderful moments I shared with him a few nights ago were innocent! Now, everything is tainted, all because the press caught wind of romantic intrigue.”

Which left Maeve thinking. Couldn't anything about the two of them ever be easy? Why did every step forward result in two steps back? She raved at circumstance, but in the end, Maeve knew the answer to those questions. The price of sin. They had done wrong—and now, paid the price. Again.

“Wonderful.” Aileen spoke quietly. “Wonderful moments.”

Maeve prowled but snapped to proper focus. Her friend had completely bypassed Maeve's slam of the media and homed right in on the situation with Josh. What a shocker—not.

Maeve fought for calm. “I enjoyed myself, yes.”

“No need for defensiveness.” Aileen grinned. “Frankly, I'm delighted you're starting to own the fact that you still love him.”

“Aileen, please.” Maeve's voice was a hoarse crackle.

“Sorry, Maeve, but I'm with KC. Despite media intrusion, why aren't you rejoicing?”

“Because we had our chance, and we lost it.”

“And re-found it.” It was Siobhan's turn. “What's the problem?”

God, help me, please! They mean well, but—

There is nothing concealed that will not be brought into the open, My daughter. Remember, it is My great pleasure to offer you the kingdom—the love of My heart. Forgiveness. All you have to do is ask.

She ached to fall into God's arms and the tender care of her friends; instead she resisted, cowering from the light.

“Would you rather be alone than embrace the love he's offering? If so, that's crazy, and that's also not like the woman I know.”

“Ailee, I've missed him every day. I miss the way he'd hold me, the way we'd sit together and watch a movie, or just cuddle, and talk, and laugh. I realize now how much that kind of connection means.” The admission caused Maeve's world to swirl into dizzying hues, her heart awash in the power of love…and her private battle against it. She resumed pacing.

“Then I repeat, what's the problem?” Aileen blocked Maeve's path. “Grab hold of him, and hang on tight.”

If only it were that simple…

Maeve yanked the paper from its spot on the nightstand and rattled it with a vicious shake. “Explain how I do that when we've stumbled all over again!”

An immediate silence crowded in.

“All over again?”

Three voices lifted as one and Maeve froze—froze clear through to the deepest channels of her spirit.

 

 

 

 

9

 

Oh, sure, there were millions of ways Maeve could have spun that slip of the tongue. Skilled acting might have allowed her to somehow brush past the faux pas—but she couldn't. She wouldn't. Not with her Sisters. Maeve could no longer stop or control the crumbling process. The past rushed and flooded, bobbing to the surface of her life, needing to be confronted and revealed. Hiding was no longer an option.

So, Maeve let go.

While she braved the elements of what had happened with Josh, the girls kept quiet. They listened and let her explanation spin forward into a much needed release. Though, in the end, her friends were understandably stunned.

“Do you mean to tell me that all the while the three of us poured our hearts out over man issues, love and romance, you played a game of I've got a secret? With
us
?”

Usually the cool, calm leader of their tribe, Aileen's voice went sharp. Maeve wanted to cry all over again. She had hurt her most precious friends by executing a horrendous error of omission.

But she had seen no other choice.

“I never meant it that way. I…I wasn't…I didn't ever intend to hurt any of you.”

Aileen softened at once. “Oh, sweet Maeve, that goes without saying.” But then she frowned. “Still, you hid from us. You've never failed to be uplifting and supportive, yet you've always remained guarded when it comes to relationships. None of us understood why, and that's because you didn't trust us. Did you think we'd judge you or condemn you? Did you think we wouldn't forgive you, or understand that we all come from the point of being fallen?”

“I didn't know what to think, Ailee. Every one of you upheld the promise. You honored our vow. I didn't, and even though it felt wonderful to be with Josh, the aftertaste left me ashamed. I loved him so much I became desperate. I gave it all away. After graduation, everything ended. I gave him my all, and there's nothing left now, and God help me, I can't escape that truth, but at the same time, I can't escape him, either.”

“Why should you?”

Aileen's blunt question made Maeve rear back.

“Maeve, don't you of all people understand forgiveness, atonement and God's love? God's chasing you, my angel, and He's using the man you've always loved to accomplish the task of opening your heart again. Pay attention, and stop running.”

Precisely what Josh had said. But how? Fear—of happiness, of love—had become so deeply ingrained she didn't know how to escape it any longer.

Kassidy unfolded from her spot on the nearby sofa. “Maeve, did you ask for forgiveness?” She tucked next to her on the bed.

“Of course.”

“Did you mean it?”

“Of course.”

“Have you ever stumbled like that again?”

“No, it only happened once.”

Straightforward, yet soft as a feather, Kassidy folded her arms across her chest and waited. A brow drifted upward in emphasis.

Silence prompted Maeve forward, into deepest revelation. “Josh was…is…the only one who ever touched me body and soul.”

Kassidy nodded conclusively, as though that settled matters quite succinctly. But it didn't. Not at all.

“What you fail to see is that love and remorse will never change the end result,” Maeve said.

“What end result? Punishing yourself? Denying yourself a chance at happiness because of sin? If that was the way God wanted us to live, we'd all be miserable. My sins might be different from yours, but they're still sins. Got it?”

“Amen.” At last, Siobhan spoke up, voice quiet. “And there was no need to hide from us, Maeve. We love you, and we'll always stand by you. You should have never doubted that. Don't hold back anymore. Refusing God's love and forgiveness is as damaging as the sin itself because to do so is debilitating.”

Siobhan's words took Maeve straight back to that cramped brightly lit powder room in the basement of Josh's parents' house, when she had looked into the mirror and come upon the knowing eyes of a woman rather than purity and innocence. Her friends were right. The result of her failure was an attempt to hide and wear a protective cover over her heart. But nothing—and no one—was hidden from God. Hadn't that been her first realization after making love with Josh?

Maeve couldn't hold it together any longer. She broke down in tears sinking onto the corner of the bed, mindless of her friends, her heart, her life. All she could absorb was a bone-deep sorrow that left her body to ache.

But then, like sentinels in God's army, her three nearest and dearest surrounded her, wrapping her in the loving embrace of a group hug brimming with rock solid support and tender assurance. Next came quiet, peace-restoring prayers for her comfort and wisdom.

She wept all the harder, quaking. “I'm so sorry. I love you guys so much, and I'm the one who let us down.”

“You did no such thing.”

Aileen was so earnest, so gentle. Maeve could almost believe in renewal and second chances. She disengaged from the hold of her friends just long enough to reach for the ring on her right hand so she could remove it for good and for all. The ruse was over now.

Aileen stilled her attempt. “No. Leave it on. Maeve, purity wears many faces, and we catch glimpses of it in many forms. We've all come close to that ideal, but we've all fallen short of it, too. You've been pure to Josh. Find out for sure what's meant to be with the one true keeper of your heart.”

That said, Aileen stroked her fingertips with gentle care against the silver band, her eyes loving and kind as she then touched Maeve's flushed, tear-dampened cheek.

 

****

 

Following a wrenching start to performance day, Maeve found no way to communicate with Josh or anyone else who had chimed in on the media escapade. Her meeting with the girls had stretched time constraints to the maximum. After that, the day took off at blinding speed. The gala was just hours away, its preparations consuming the entirety of Maeve's world.