Magic & Memory (5 page)

He pushed his hair back from his eyes with his good hand and said, “If you still have feelings for that guy that was just here, or if you simply want me gone, ok. I’ll go without protest and I’ll let you dump me on the first convenient street corner. But if we’re going simply to find out that no one is looking for me, it hardly seems worth the effort.”

“I don’t want you gone,” she blurted, more emotion coming through than she’d intended.

“You don’t?”

She broke eye contact. “I really like having you here. But it’s not like I can just keep you for myself when there might be people worried about you.”

Alastair smiled and said, “I love the idea of you keeping me for yourself. Where can I sign up for that?”

She reached into the closet and pulled down an old white t-shirt. “Look, just humor me. It only takes a few minutes to drive into town. Let’s go check in with the police. Then maybe, just maybe, we’ll swing by my doctor’s office. She’s really nice, I promise, no matter what kind of medical phobia you’ve got going on. So how about you put this shirt on, and then we go for a little drive?”

“Ok. I’ll go. But only if you answer a question for me.”

“What is it?”

“Do you still have feelings for that guy?”

“No. God no! He’s all in the past,” Lu said.

“That didn’t really look like it’s all in the past,” Alastair ventured. “And if this flurry of activity is just to get your mind off him, well, maybe talking about it would be a better way to go.”

 “You’re stalling for time. You don’t want to go into town so you’re trying to change the subject,” she said, putting her hands on her hips, the t-shirt still clutched in her palm.

“I’m not,” Alastair insisted. “I just want to give you a chance to talk. His visit was obviously really upsetting for you.”

“I can deal with it.”

“I know you can. But maybe talking about it
is
a way of dealing with it. And you can talk to me, Lu.”

“No.” She took a breath and said, “Look Alastair, I know you just want to help, but if I try to talk about any of this, I’m totally gonna lose it.”

“Let me in, Lu. Please.” His voice was soft, gentle. “Talk to me.”

“Why do you care? About me, about any of this?” she asked. “Are you getting attached to me just because it feels like I’m the only person in your life? Well, that’s going to change as soon as we go into town and find your family and friends, and as soon as you get your memories back.”

“I don’t care who or what I have waiting for me out there,” Alastair insisted. “It doesn’t change anything.”

 “It changes
everything!
” Lu exclaimed. “You’re going to go back to your life and I’m still going to be
here
. And it’s going to be even harder for me to be alone, because I had you with me for a little while and then had to say goodbye to you.” Her voice grew quiet as she said, “Don’t you see? I can’t open up to you or get attached to you, Alastair. Because if I do, it’s just going to hurt way too much when you leave.”

“I won’t leave, Lu. Not if you let me stay.”

“Stop it, Alastair! Of course you’re going to leave and I can’t--” her voice broke and she swore under her breath as tears splashed down her cheeks. She turned her back to him, angrily wiping her eyes with the old t-shirt.

Alastair rested his good hand lightly on her waist, his cheek against her hair. “Please let me in, Lu,” he whispered.

Lu turned to look at him. And that was her unraveling. She wanted to trust this beautiful boy with the kind eyes and sincere expression. She
needed
to trust him. And when he took her in his arms, she started to sob.

Once the tears started, there was just no going back. As she let her guard down she relived a torrent of memories, precious bits of her life that she hadn’t allowed herself to think about for fear that it would just be too painful. But now she let them come. And as she did, the memories and the tears pushed some of the numbness out of her. She was so grateful for that.

After a while Alastair guided Lu to the little twin bed in one corner of the spare bedroom and lay down with her in his arms, cradling her, stroking her hair. He said nothing as she cried, just held her gently. And when she eventually exhausted herself and fell asleep, he just went right on holding her.

Lu awoke to find herself in Alastair’s arms. Warm light from a fading sunset seeped beneath the heavy curtains. She pushed her hair from her face and mumbled, “Did I really sleep the whole day away?” Her voice was raspy with sleep and with the earlier exertion of crying.

“You needed it,” he said softly against her hair.

 “The propane system must be working again, it’s warm in here,” she said, and reached up and flicked the wall switch, bathing the little room in light.

He reached over her and turned the light off again, and smiled sweetly as he said, “Let’s pretend it’s still out.”

She snuggled against his shoulder and said quietly, “I’m sorry I lost it like that, Alastair.”

“You needed to let those tears out.” His voice was so gentle as he ran his fingertips over her cheek.

“It was selfish of me to act like that,” she persisted. “You have plenty of your own problems right now. I shouldn’t have burdened you with mine.”

“It’s not a burden.”

“We should have been taking you to the hospital today. My drama could have waited.”

“I wasn’t going to let you take me to the hospital anyway,” he said with a smile, “so don’t feel guilty. Besides, it’s not like you planned this, it just happened.” Then he asked, “Do you feel a bit better?”

“Yes, thanks.” After a moment, she said, “I cried so much in the weeks after my aunt died. At some point I couldn’t take any more pain so I made myself stop crying, I tried to shut down all my grief. But I wasn’t over it, not by a long shot. And until today I didn’t even realize how much I needed to let it out.” She tentatively reached up and touched his cheek. “Thank you, Alastair.”

He tilted his head and lightly kissed her fingertips, then whispered, “No need to thank me.”

She closed her eyes and snuggled against his shoulder again, and he hugged her securely. After a while she murmured, “This feels so good.”

“I think so, too.” He paused before saying softly, “Lu, no matter what happens, no matter what I find out about myself -- I still want to pursue this. You and me. It feels so right, like this is where we both belong.”

“Ok,” she said simply.

“Ok?” he smiled and pulled back to look at her.

“I still think you’re going to find out that you have a girlfriend. But if that doesn’t happen, I’d…” she felt herself blushing, “I’d like to pursue this, too.”

“I know I don’t have a girlfriend…though the way things are progressing, I don’t think that will be the case for long.” He smiled shyly, and she couldn’t help but grin, too.

She sat up then and tucked her tangled hair behind her ears. Her eyes felt swollen, her face puffy from all that crying. She was sure she looked totally disgusting and suddenly felt self-conscious. “Um, I’m going to take a quick shower, then I’ll make us some dinner,” she said as she swung her legs off the bed.

“Ok. I’ll help,” Alastair said. Then he added hastily, “With dinner I mean, not the shower.” He covered his eyes with his hand. “God I’m an idiot. I wonder if I’ve always been this smooth.” Lu smiled and gave his shoulder a quick squeeze before heading down the hall.

She emerged from her bedroom fifteen minutes later dressed in her usual uniform of black yoga pants, a long-sleeved pink t-shirt, and thick wool socks. Her wet hair was stuck behind her ears. She’d briefly considered dressing a bit better, maybe busting out a tube of mascara. But Alastair had already seen her at her red-eyed, runny-nosed worst, so there was kind of no point in trying to impress him now.

Lu found him still lounging comfortably in the little bed in the guest room. “I’m going downstairs to make dinner,” she said. “Do you want to come down too, or stay here?”

“I’ll come with you.” Alastair rolled out of bed and swayed a bit, finding his balance. His body was still incredibly and inexplicably weak, and in fact was growing weaker. Maybe Lu had a point about seeing a doctor, even if something about that filled him with dread.

She helped him down the stairs, an arm around his waist to make sure he didn’t tip over and go tumbling down. And she flipped every light switch they passed, since the sky outside was now a deep indigo blue.

Lu drummed her fingers on the door of an open kitchen cupboard, trying to think of something interesting to make out of the few miscellaneous cans and boxes she found there. “This is a pretty uninspiring assortment of ingredients,” she said, mostly to herself.

Alastair came up beside her and she noticed the way he was holding himself up with the kitchen counter. She asked him, “Are you feeling worse?”

He nodded, and pressed his eyes shut as a wave of dizziness washed over him. “I don’t understand what’s happening, why I feel even weaker,” he murmured.

“Come on, let’s get you to the couch,” she said, sliding an arm around his waist. He grabbed onto her to steady himself, which almost knocked both of them over.

“Wait,” he whispered, pressing his eyes shut as the room spun. “I need just a minute.”

“Ok.”

 Please don’t let go of me.”

“I won’t.” After a few moments she said, “We really should have gone to the hospital today.” She held on tight as his body trembled in her arms. He took several deep breaths as he tried to steady himself. The shaking only grew worse.

As he clung to her, he became acutely aware of her scent. After a moment he whispered, “You smell like sunlight and a warm spring day and some kind of pretty blue flowers that I can’t remember the name of.”

“Actually, I smell like the grapefruit soap they sell at the Shop-N-Kart,” she said, trying to make him smile.

It worked. He grinned as he told her, “Not the soap, I know that’s grapefruit. I’m talking about what
you
smell like. And if you’re about to ask how I remember the scents of spring, I just do.”

“Are you feeling better?” she asked after a while, still holding him.

“Not really,” he admitted.

“We need to go to the hospital,” she told him.

“You’re right.” Another tremor shook his body and he rested his head on her shoulder, breathing her in as he pressed his eyes shut.

She rubbed his back soothingly. “It’s going to be ok, Alastair.”

He nodded against her shoulder, his mind reeling. He held her to his body, his heart racing as he clung to her.

And then, with no conscious thought, he pulled aside the collar of her t-shirt, exposing her shoulder.

And he bit down.

He heard Lu’s sharp intake of breath, followed by her sigh of pleasure. Her blood filled his mouth and by instinct he drew deeply, moaning as warmth and nourishment and energy flooded his body.

“Yes,” she whispered, her voice rough.

Hearing her speak focused his attention somehow, and in the next moment he realized what was happening.

Alastair staggered back, horrified at what he’d been doing to her. He bumped into the far wall of the kitchen, reeling with confusion and with a blinding need that was trying to force him back across the kitchen, back to continue drinking from her.

Lu held on to the kitchen counter to steady herself when he let go so abruptly. She took several deep breaths, feeling dazed, her body awash with desire, then opened her eyes to see where he’d gone.

He was clear across the room, pressed against the wall, his eyes wide with terror. “Alastair, what is it?” she asked. “What’s wrong?”

His voice shook as he said, “I bit you.”

She glanced at her shoulder. The t-shirt had slipped back up into place, and two little spots of dark red were spreading through the pink fabric, seeping together. “It’s ok, I’m sure it was an accident,” she murmured. It was incredibly hard to focus for some reason.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

Lu was about to take a step toward him. But then she noticed her bright red blood on his mouth and hesitated. She watched as his lips parted.

Two long, incredibly sharp fangs glistened where his canines should have been.

She gasped and exclaimed, “Oh my God, you’re a vampire!”

And an unfamiliar voice from the doorway said, “Well, duh!”

Lu and Alastair both spun in the direction of the voice. A cute blonde guy leaned casually against the kitchen doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. “Really?” the stranger said, a smile playing on his lips. “You just now figured that out?”

“Who are you?” Lu gasped.

“I’m Joey,” he told her. “But a much better question is, who are you?” He remained perfectly still, his extraordinary pale green eyes sparkling.

Anger prickled in Lu. “My house, my questions,” she snapped. “What are you doing here?”

He grinned at that. “Fair enough. I’m here to rescue Alastair.”

 “From what?” Alastair asked, putting a hand against the wall to steady himself.