Malibu Betrayals (20 page)

But Gage wanted her and everything she had to give.

It was time to turn light and easy into bold and brave.

…

Gage watched his sister approach with hot coffee and a bag of Blinkie’s donuts. Bless the woman. Coffee and donuts on the beach became their standard meeting place since he’d moved into his waterfront property. Already hitting the gym an hour each afternoon, these little visits required him to either cut down on dinner or add an extra thirty minutes to his cardio.

He helped her with the loot and then pulled her in for a hug. “Thank you. You’re a life saver.”

Bel stepped back and looked him over. “You look like hell.”

“I haven’t had any coffee yet.” He took a sip. The liquid scalded his tongue, and he jerked the cup back with a curse.

“Yeah, it’s coffee. Supposed to be hot.” She put her arm around his shoulders. “Are you okay?”

He glanced down at her with derision. “Like you care.”

She laughed as they settled in the sand. Gage ate his donut in two bites.

“Slow down.”

He sipped his coffee, with more care this time. Shoving his hand in the bag, he pulled out another and took a bite. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Bel. I love Sam. The life I want is only possible with her in it. But I’m asking her to deal with it and live with all of the stress my job brings with it.”

Bel lowered her coffee to her lap. “Well, considering her past, she’s probably scared. Don’t push her.”

“She’s scared?” He demanded, his mouth full of donut. “Any second she’s going to leave. I’m the one who’s fucking scared.”

Bel glanced out over the rippling waves. “You left.”

Gage stilled. “What?”

His sister took a dainty bite of her glazed donut and chewed. Washing it down with her coffee, she turned toward him. “You left. For school. I was crushed and felt abandoned, again, but I loved you so much. You aren’t Mom; I knew that.”

Gage sat in stunned silence. He’d never known his leaving affected her like that, or he would never have gone.

“You seemed half the world away. But I waited and you came back. Because you love
me
so much.”

Guilt clogged his throat, and he dropped his donut back in the bag. “Bel, come on. I was at film school.”

She nodded. “I know. And I was fourteen and had no big brother to help me navigate high school. I didn’t think about what you were doing, but what you weren’t.”

“Shit, I’m sorry.”

Bel smiled and took another bite of her donut. “I know, and I survived. I think, in a way, it was good. Gave me and Dad some time to bond. I think how close he and I got is why I set my sights on Pepperdine.”

Gage stood. “So what you’re saying is that you owe me for your great success.”

“Spoken like a true Hollywood elitist. No, what I’m saying is give her space, time. Things’ll work out. If you push her, she
will
bolt, and you
will
be left alone.”

He reached out and helped her up.

“She’s afraid and with good reason. Being married to you means possibly months of being apart, keeping crazy hours. If you have a family, most of the burden will fall on her even though she has a job, too.”

He opened his mouth to argue.

Shaking her head, Bel put her hand up. “You film on different continents all the time. She won’t be able to just drop everything and go with you. Not if she is trying to build her career back.”

They walked shoulder to shoulder, and Gage stared out over the surf. He and Sam would have their challenges, but they’d be able to face each one as a team. The how and the what could be figured out, but there would be no reason to without Sam.

Pulling in a breath, he settled his arm around Bel’s shoulders. “I like the idea of being responsible for your success better. I’m going to stick with that.”

Bel shook her head and punched him in the shoulder. “Of course you would.”

Gage squeezed her hand. “I’m really sorry. I had no idea.”

“I know. If you had, you wouldn’t have gone. Why do you think I never said anything? You’d always put me first. Before school, your friends, even Dad. I was young, but not stupid. I wanted you to be happy. You’d have never gone, and you needed to. It just sucked, that’s all. I missed you.”

The more he worked on changing and growing, the more mistakes he discovered he’d made along the way. Maybe he’d been kidding himself from the beginning. He thought he’d changed, but deep down, was he the same selfish guy he’d always been? He wanted a life with Sam, but if their relationship only brought her constant reminders of Ethan, fans intruding into their lives, and an absentee husband, was it fair to ask her to want him back?

Chapter Twenty

Gage needed the director and the producer to come to a decision yesterday and release the cast. It had been almost twenty-four hours since he’d last had any time with Sam. The end of their conversation had kept him on edge, and every time he went to go find her to check in, he got called into something else.

Last night, she’d grabbed a bottle of wine and knocked on his office door, but he’d been on a string of interviews, and by the time he’d finished, she was sound asleep. He’d thrown himself into a full-blown work out and then dragged himself to bed around two in the morning, only to find a message from his agent calling him into an eight a.m. meeting. There was nothing to be done but have security come and stay until Sam was up and ready to go to the set, which wouldn’t be until closer to ten. A frustrating schedule, and it wasn’t the first time it happened, but today was the worst time for it to happen.

Finally they’d wrapped up shooting for the day, and he rounded the corner of shelves to find Sam bent over her desk. He loved the curve of her back and the way the little hairs at the nape of her neck escaped the confines of her pencil-secured bun, as if they too were shouting their independence.

“I can’t believe filming is almost over.” Gage stood behind her as she poured intently over her copy of the screenplay.

She spared him a quick glance and nodded. “It’s gone fast. You guys have been brilliant.” Flipping a few pages, she settled on one. She pulled her pencil from her hair and tapped it against the edge of the manuscript. “If I can just get this last scene right. Something’s missing.”

Her hair fell in a cascade of alternating shades of chocolate, her scent wafting past his nose as the mass settled below her shoulders. Vanilla and citrus made him want to pull her in to ease the pressure in his chest like a pastry might do for an emotional eater. Gage searched the area she worked in, through shelves of equipment, props, lights, and microphones, until he finally discovered a stool under an oversized tarp. Dragging one over, he dropped down next to her. “Thank you for checking in with Martin.”

She focused her attention on his face. “No-brainer. I don’t want you calling my dad or brother to the set as my bodyguards.”

Gage chuckled and dipped his head in acknowledgement and then tilted his head, studying her face. “I feel like it’s been ages since I’ve seen you. I had to go in early this morning.”

She set her pencil down and turned toward him, her gaze roaming over his face and then down to his hands. He released his grip on the table, dropping his hands to his lap, and she lifted them gently into hers. “I know, but at least I finally got to those manuscripts I’d been putting off.” She rubbed her thumb along the top of his hand. “We need to talk.”

His gut twisted. “Yeah, I figured as much.” He glanced down at where her knees rested against the side of his thigh, always so surprised by how much such a simple sharing of space affected him, and then back to her face.

She blew out a breath. “I’m terrified,” she whispered. “And pissed.”

Standing, she paced the small area. “You were right, you know. About me holding on to being a victim. I’ve been hiding, hoping no one would notice me.” She stopped and faced him, her hands clenched in front of her. “All of this has been weighing on me, but I found some clarity when we talked. I just needed some time to process it. I’m done hiding.”

Gage’s heart dropped in his chest. He turned in his seat, leaning toward her. “What are you saying?”

She smiled, her lower lip trembling, and stepped between his legs. His arms wrapped around her waist, and he looked up at her, uncertainty snaking up his spine.

Running her fingers through the fine hairs at the back of his neck, she pulled in a breath. “Like I said, I’m terrified.”

He stood, keeping her in his arms and sighed, dropping his forehead to hers. “You’re not the only one.”

“You’re shaking.”

Raising his head, he stared down into her eyes. “What are you telling me, Sam?” Blood rushed to his head, and he feared he wouldn’t hear her response. His fingers flexed at her waist.

She tilted her head to the side, her gaze direct. “I think you know.”

Gage shook his head. “No, I don’t. Say the words.” And please let them be the ones he wanted to hear. He closed his eyes.

She pressed her mouth to his, a soft caress. “I love you, Gage. I want to try to be with you for the long haul.”

The air left his lungs, both fear and elation stealing his breath. “You love me?”

“I love you.”

“There’re no guarantees.” That was an understatement, but he was so afraid she didn’t know what she was saying. Could they really have a chance to make something real?

He dropped his face to her shoulder and held on tight. The possibilities raced through his mind on fast forward. He pulled back and looked into her face, her eyes wide and smiling up at him. She was worth it, and it seemed she thought he was worth it, too. A tentative staccato of acceptance beat in his chest. With a “whoop,” he picked her up and spun her around.

Sam laughed and hugged him in return.

He wanted the chance to see that smile every morning, to watch her bite her lip when she was concentrating, and tuck her toes up under her when she wanted to relax, and he never wanted to let her go. Now more than ever, he needed to show her the life they could have together, regardless of his work in Hollywood.

She stepped back to her desk, arms folded across her chest, still smiling but her brows furrowed as well.

“I know you’re scared, I am too, but we can handle anything they want to throw at us, Sam. Look how far we’ve come already.”

She nodded. If there was ever a time for her to show her strength, it was now. He hoped she could reach deep and tap into what made her survive the past few years.

“I’ll let you get back to work. Don’t make any plans for tonight, okay?”

She nodded. “Okay.”

…

The rest of the day had flown on set. They were making great progress on the film and even projected an earlier wrap-up time than expected. Sam and Gage had gone back to his place, and now she stood in his kitchen, wine in hand, watching him add the final touches to dinner.

She loved that he cooked, and having someone cook dinner for her was a treat she hadn’t experienced often.

He added two large portions of lasagna to each plate with a drizzle of an olive oil and marinara sauce over the top. Pulling garlic bread from the oven, he looked over his shoulder and sent her a wink. He set the tray on the counter and then cut off thick chunks, adding them to the plates as well. “If you grab our wine, I’ll take these to the table.”

His phone rang, and they both froze. With his brow furrowed, he checked the number and with a sigh answered it. “Hey, Martin.”

He lifted a finger asking her to wait a second and spoke quietly into the phone. “Not tonight, Martin. I can’t.” Nodding, he paced the small space in front of the area in front the counter. “And I understand, but I’m not in the scene. You can show me tomorrow. I gotta go.”

Martin’s annoyance rang out over the phone as Gage disconnected the call.

“What did you do? He didn’t sound happy.”

Gage lifted their plates and made his way to the table. “He wanted me to come down and watch a last minute scene change they decided to shoot.”

“Don’t you think you should go?”

He shook his head. “No. I’m not in it. Nothing will be lost if he shows me tomorrow.”

His gesture warmed her but worried her, too. He might get away with it because he and Martin were close, but another director might have been pissed. “Gage, I don’t think—”

Narrowing his eyes, he nailed her with a look. “And I want to spend time with you, and only you.” She decided to drop it and settled into the wonderful feeling, her mouth watering at the savory aromas, as Gage set their plates on the table and took the chair across from her. The garlic bread was stuffed with whole roasted garlic cloves, and she pulled one out and tossed it into her mouth. “We are going to be fresh tonight.”

He grinned and tossed one of his own in his mouth. “As long as we both eat it, we won’t even notice.”

She watched him take his first bite of lasagna. Everything he did was always so big and all in. There was no half-assing anything where he was concerned. “Thank you for making me dinner; this is a nice surprise.”

He held her gaze. “You’re welcome. I wanted to do more, and now I can.”

“You’ve already done more.” She rushed on before he could comment. “Have you always cooked?”

Shaking his head, he then sipped from his wine. “Since I was a kid, but it was Raquel that got me hooked. Every time I’d go over to their place for dinner, she’d have me help her in the kitchen.”

“You’re really good.”

He dipped his head. “I want big family dinners, the kind where everyone helps, where we talk about our day. I know how you feel about the kids of celebrities, but I’m doing things differently. I want to be around, and that’s one reason I’m making the shift with my career.”

The idea warmed her. She could imagine herself chopping vegetables while drinking a glass of wine, him firing up a grill, the kids setting the table and teasing each other as they went. The vision no longer sent a shot of fear down her spine.

She tilted her head to the side. “If that’s what you really plan on doing, then you’ll do it.”

Reaching his hand across the table, he slid his fingers through hers. “Can you see yourself in a situation like that?”

A month ago, she’d have closed down or run away, but now she could see it clearly, and she loved it—loved him. Nodding, she said, “Yes.”

He squeezed her fingers gently, then released her hand.

“How many kids do you want?”

“At least two. I love Bel. She’s one of my best friends. I want that for my kids, too. But no matter how many I have, they will have the support they need.”

She loved that he saw that. As crazy as Luca and Addi might make her, she was so thankful to have them. “I think two is a good number. It’ll make supporting them that much easier because you won’t be out numbered.”

The corners of his lips lifted, and he ran his gaze over her face. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m scared, but I’m more mad right now that I was making decisions based on Ethan. So stupid.”

“It’s not, it’s normal. Changing the way we think is nearly impossible.”

She put her hands out, and he touched the tips of his fingers to hers, then let their fingers twine together. “One day at a time?”

Polishing off the last of his lasagna, Gage pushed back from the table. “Finish your wine and relax. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Sam leaned back in her seat and sipped her wine. She loved the vision he’d painted about his dreams for his family. Solid connections and healthy relationships. She had both with her family, and she wouldn’t be who she was without them.

A short time later, Gage stepped back into the kitchen. “Come on, I have a little surprise.”

She followed him into the steaming bathroom, the lights dimmed to a soft glow. He turned to her, and she looped her arms around his neck. “What in the world are you doing?” She swept her hand out to indicate the full over-sized tub and the steamed mirrors.

“A little TLC.” Pulling the tie at her waist, he opened the front of her shirtdress and pushed it from her shoulders. He slid his fingers back down her arm and along the sensitive skin on the underside of her wrist and whispered, “Sam, trust me.”

Sam watched as he pulled his shirt up and over his head, leaving his chest bare, and a pair of cotton lounge pants low on his hips. Her fingers itched to touch him there.

She was left standing in a pair of low-hipped briefs and a bra, both just a blush darker than her skin. Taking his hand, she stepped over the edge of the tub, the heat enveloping her legs, radiating to the point between her thighs. With a shaky laugh, she asked. “What are you up to?”

He stood before her, just outside the tub, and with a pitcher, trickled water at the hollow of her throat, then trailed it to the right and then to the left. Heat licked along her collarbone and down over her breasts and puckered nipples. Her bra became transparent and, as the water trailed down her breasts and abdomen in lazy trails, so did her panties. She felt more exposed than if she’d been fully naked, while he remained clothed.

The moonlight shining through the sky light, along with Gage’s hungry gaze, caressed her skin.

A boldness, still new to her, kicked up her chin. It wasn’t fair for her to be a blazing inferno, yet him be so cool and collected. She eyed the well-built man in front of her and slid her foot forward, lifting it to just below the surface of the water and sending a spray of water over his body. Laughing at his slack-jawed expression, she held her sides. He narrowed his gaze and tilted his head, a mischievous grin pulled up the corners of his mouth.

Alarm shot to her limbs and she turned to run, but where she had no idea. He caught her in a step and swung her up in his arms. Water ran down her limbs.

“Put me down.” Her words were a laugh.

She screamed as he plunged them both into the tub. The shock of heat against the areas of skin that were still dry made her suck in a breath. Gage turned her in his arms, leaving her kneeling before him, and with his hand around the back of her neck, pulled her in for a kiss. Heat ignited within her, and she all but climbed over his head to get a tighter grasp. She poured every ounce of herself into kissing him back.

One of his hands roamed about her slick skin while the other held her in an iron grip against his warm body. “Oh my God, that feels so good. I’ve missed you.”

“We’ve been busy, but I’m always right here.”

She shook her head. “It’s different when there’s tension.”

She wrapped her legs about him, and she rubbed against his erection. She could see the condom-covered tip of him over the band of his sweats, wondering when he’d rolled it on, and a wanting pulsed through her so strong she dragged her body against his. Need swirling and swelling in her middle.

Reaching between their bodies, she released him from his heavy soaked sweats. Pulling her briefs to the side, she slid onto him slowly, enjoying the sensation of being filled one inch at a time until her pelvis pressed flat against his, moaning into the sensation of sweet pressure and hot water.