Mania and the Executioner (24 page)

“Cheza and I can talk to each other through some kind of connection in our minds; it is affected by distance
, but I was able to talk to her while I was in Tir na nOg. This same connection also lets us know when the other is in pain. Cheza felt that first hit I took and ended up taking one herself because of the distraction, causing me to take that second hit from the feeling of her pain.” I explain.

“Ay
e, I can see how that’s not goin’ to work…it’s affected by distance you say? Lila, come here.” Dagda says, Lila flies down, and he ports us to some island with white sandy beaches. “How’s this for distance?”

“This should work! Small nicks and cuts shouldn’t get transferred over this much distance. I’m pretty sure that the only reason Cheza could feel I was hurt the night I rescued Lila is because the three swords in my chest stopped my heart.” I say.

“Let’s get started then!” Dagda replies and then proceeds to beat the crap out of me for the next three hours or so.

“Ok
ay…I need…a short…break.” I say through strained breathing as the sun starts to set.

“Ay
e, we can’t have you dyin’ on me on the first day!” Dagda exclaims.

Lila runs over to me with a banana and a coconut; I wonder if she used her control over nature to make the trees drop them or di
d she just fly up and pick them?

“Thanks…Lila.” I say, out of breath while trying to sm
ile as I plop down in the sand.

I drill a hole in the side
of the coconut with my sword, form a straw using one of my unhealed cuts, and take a drink. I find this to be rather lacking in pineapple juice and rum…especially rum.

(But why is the rum gone!?)

“Keep up the good work Minion!” Lila says while hugging me from behind.

“But of course! I can’t let
you down, princess!” I exclaim.

Lila
peeks her head around my shoulder as I turn my head to look at her.

“Cole…I don’t like it when you call me princess…” Lila says while pouting. Damn this little girl is too cute; I’m going to have to be careful.

(I said no touching)

“Not like that!
I mean she’s cute in the ‘oh look it’s a basket full of kittens playing with each other’ sense. Just because I think the kittens are cute doesn’t mean that I want my penis anywhere near them. I’m going to have to be careful or she is going to realize that she can manipulate me!”

Is this what a normal little sister/older brother relationship feels like? I want to protect her
, but I don’t feel almost possessive of her like I did with Cheza…

“Haha alright Lila, no more calling you princess.”
I say and she smiles at me in response.

“Say Cole, are you used to
fightin’ usin’ a companion weapon? Your form seems inadequate for a single weapon.” Dagda asks

“Yeah; usually I have a custom made pistol that I use for blocking and disarming.” I inform him.

“I’d like to see that! Plus it’d be good for you to see the effective range of your gun against a faster opponent. Let’s port back to your house for a minute.” Dagda says while picking up my other swords. He walks over, puts a hand on my shoulder, and we are back at the house with Lila still hanging onto my neck. I stand and Lila wraps her legs around me so that I’m giving her a piggy back ride.

“Hey guys, just dropping by to grab my gun and some rubber rounds!” I say while Lila giggles on my back from my full speed run down the stairs. “How goes the training Cheza?”

“Well we stopped using blades because Cheza keeps breaking them when she gets into it.” Tia says while pointing at a pile of broken swords; there have to be at least a half a dozen.

“Well I know Cheza doesn’t have much experience
, but here,” I say as I toss Tia one of my Diamond swords. “Have her try using this and see what happens to the sword. It’s information that I need to know so consider it an experiment.” Tia looks at the sword and nods.

“Actually, take this one too. It might not cut her
, but I’m pretty sure it won’t break either.” I say while tossing her the other Diamond sword.

“Then what will you use with
Dagda?” Tia asks. I hold up my diamond Sic blade in response.

“Alright, well we will be
goin’ to Tir na nOg now; at least I can control how much light we have there.” Dagda says.

“See you two later!” I say
and Dagda puts a hand on my shoulder. After my initial feeling of falling, I see that we are standing at the gate before everything shifts into a grassy field.

“Will I ever get used to that feeling of falling?” I ask.

“Well, it’s a bit different when you port yourself.” Dagda explains.

“Oh, speaking of which, how did that soldier port us here the other day?” I inquire.

“My squad leaders get this special brand that allows them to port to Tir na nOg. The squad members get a similar brand to port when the leader does.” Dagda explains.

“So the brand allows them to port anywhere?” I ask.

“No, just to where their mission is and back here. The brand is regulated by my staff to adjust the locations before a mission. Alright boyo; enough chattin’, let’s see what you’ve got!” Dagda says as Lila jumps off my back and sits down about twenty feet away.

I load a 25 round rubber bullet
magazine into my gun and nod to him to start. He takes off at what I think is his full speed because all I can see is blur as he circles around me. Suddenly my helmet engages and I can see him much more clearly, but he is still moving insanely fast. I fire five rounds at a distance of twenty feet and he dodges all of them. I try again at fifteen and ten feet to the same effect. I’m finally able to hit him twice before he puts his hand in front of the barrel of my gun and angles his hand so that the following three rubber bullets bounce off of his palm, then off his angle fingers, finally hitting me square between the eyes; I’m glad I’m wearing the helmet.

“HA HA HA!”
Dagda laughs as I hear a few giggles from Lila.

“Wow, it seems like guns are almost completely ineffective at that speed…” I say with the creepy overlapping voice.

“That they are lad; Upper tier gods can move faster than the bullets up until we have no time to react. It’s a good thing that you’ve been usin’ it as a close range weapon.” Dagda explains.

The rubber bullets are traveling at approximately 1400 ft/s and he could dodge the bullets at 10 feet away meaning he was able to dodge in .007th of a second…this is insane! What the hell did I get myself into?

“Dagda, I need you to shoot at me with that gun at different distances until I get hit. I’m wondering how fast I can go in comparison to you. I also think that my perceptions enhance when I’m wearing the helmet so we are going to do it once with the helmet on, and once with it off.” I say as I disengage the helmet.

“Alright lad, I suggest starting at about
fifty feet away now.” Dagda suggests. I nod and walk out.

Dagda fires a round at me and I manage to dodge it, but not too easily. I move up ten feet,
Dagda fires another round and I feel the air current brush past my skin as I dodge it by about an inch. I move up five feet, Dagda fires, and I get hit. So with my helmet off I’m able to dodge a 1400 ft/s bullet at forty feet, meaning I can react in approximately .028 of a second which is about ten times faster than the average human.

We try the experiment again with my helmet on. I get up to thirty feet, meaning I’m still only reacting and moving at about a third of the speed of
Dagda. I consider asking him to sprint a hundred yards to observe how fast he is in comparison to me, but when I think about it, reaction time is what matters in a fight, not top speed.

“Alright, we need to improve m
y reaction time somehow…Dagda, could you get ten of your best archers here? And could you arm them with headless arrows? I want them to shoot at me from staggered distances and heights as I deflect the arrows with my sword.” I explain my plan.

“That I can
, lad; that isn’t too bad of an idea! It will speed up your raw reaction times as well as your sword reactions. We will still need to spar to get you up to speed, but this is a good way to start out! I’ll be right back.” Dagda says as he snaps his fingers.

“That was pretty cool
, Cole! Hey…can I shoot your gun?” Lila asks timidly.

“Sure, come here.” I say with a smile as Lila jumps to her feet and runs over with her wings fluttering behind her.

(The recoil from your gun makes it impossible for a normal being to shoot)

Crap! I compl
etely forgot about that…I know; I’ll just hold onto my gun with her and tell it to behave!

“Alright, hold the gun like this
, but keep your finger off of the trigger. Now straighten this arm like this while leaving the other one looser.” I say kneel behind her and wrap my arms around her shoulders while I place my hands over hers on the gun. Lila noticeably tenses up when my chest touches her wings; they must be rather sensitive.

“Okay now squeeze the trigger.” My gun fires and behaves like I told it to. I’m still not entirely sure how my gun does that, but I think it acts like my plates and absorbs the blowback
by turning into a semi-liquid state to eliminate recoil.

“Good job Lila…Lila? Are you alright? Your face is all flushed.” I ask
, concerned that I may have hurt her.

“What!?
Yeah, I’m fine!” Lila exclaims as she avoids looking at me.

Dagda
comes back with ten archers equipped with headless arrows. Dagda snaps his fingers and we appear in a forest. Seven archers fly to different elevations in the trees and three stay on the ground.

“Are you
ready boyo?” Dagda asks and I nod in response.

I spend the next few hours getting shot at. At first I was getting hit with one out of every
two arrows, but then I got into the repetition of it and lowered my hit ratio to one out of every six. Every time an archer would run out of arrows, Dagda would snap his fingers and the broken ones at my feet would disappear while new arrows would appear in the quivers.

“Alright,
I think that’s enough for today. Come lad, it’s about time I got you home.” Dagda says a few hours later.

“Okay…” I say
while slightly out of breath as Lila runs up and jumps onto my back. Dagda snaps his fingers and we shift to the gate. Dagda sets his hand on my shoulder, we appear at my doorstep, and Lila dismounts from my back.

“See you tomorrow
, Cole!” Lila says as she waves goodbye.

Then they disappear.

Chapter 20: No, ‘basket full of kittens’ cute

I walk in the door and
shout, “Hello Honey, I’m home!”

“Hey Cole, dinner will be ready in about five minutes. Cheza is using the large bathtub in the master bathroom; something about calming her nerves.” Sara says.

“Alright, I’m going to go take a shower and change.” I tell her before running off to my room.

I strip down and jump in the sh
ower when I remember the cooler. If I drain a liter now, it should be restored by the time I’m finished with dinner and I’ll be able to get four liters done tonight. I walk out of the shower, slice my left wrist open using the grooming scissors that I keep in my bathroom, and I drain a liter. Once I put the lid on the cooler, I take a shower. While I’m taking a shower, I hear Cheza’s phone ring from the master bedroom.

“Hello?” Cheza answers
.

“Hey Rei, how are you?” I recognize the voice as the friend that called Cheza before.

“Katie!? I wasn’t sure we were still friends after what happened…” Cheza says.

“What? It’s not like you chose to have vampires attack your party and bite me!” Katie says.

“Are you okay?” Cheza asks.

“Yeah, I spent a couple days in the hospital because of blood loss and they ran a few tests, but I’m fine now. If your brother hadn’t killed that vampire when he did, I’d probably be dead. The way he moved was amazing! Is he a vampire too?
Or a werewolf?” Katie asks.

“No, he’s human…ish.” Cheza tries to explain.

“Well vampires and werewolves can be considered human-ish too.” Katie points out.

“I guess it’s more accurate to say that he has a rare genetic defect.” Cheza explains.

“So he’s like a superhero?” Katie asks for clarification.

“He is to me…” Cheza says quietly.

“Yeah, how are things on that front Rei?” Katie asks.

“Well we were in Hawaii last week and we fooled around a bit and we were fooling around in his bed last night until his recently severed finger came off again and got us both covered in blood which totally ruined the mood. I think he’s stopped seeing me as his little sister so that’s good but now there’s this other girl around and she’s really pretty and her boobs are bigger than mine so I’m feeling a little uncertain…plus I caught Cole feeling her breasts
…twice…” Cheza quietly explains.