Maniacs in The Fourth Dimension (14 page)

Chapter thirty eight

Jesus Christ,
he almost killed me. For doing nothing! Nothing! I asked her are
her ears real, she just rolled her eyes and ignored me. I was just
curious. I stroke her ears a little bit to see are they real,
nothing else. He hit me and
aimed an
arrow at me for that! For nothing! Jesus! They went to the
mountains afterwards. They no longer want to be a part of our
group. Cleitus said that we should wait for him here, he said it's
safe because there's no traces of life.

He's wrong. I just found a brass
bullet casing on the ground.

Kristen.
She's beautiful. She's in a conversation with that Jove guy. I
can't hear what they're saying, but she's smiling, she's in the
good mood. Beautiful. She hates me. I disgust her. She screamed at
me, she said so many vicious and cruel things to me after Alice
killed herself, but that wasn't my fault. I only took her to
Convention-con. Blame the world, blame her parents, it's not my
fault. I know that she would stop hating me, maybe she would even
like me, if we would spend some time together, like, alone on this
mountain. I would show her that I'm really one good and caring
guy.

I don't know
what he said, but she bursted into laughter, she laughed so hard
that she had to press her stomach with her hands and bend over so
much that her beautiful hair touched the ground. God, you're
gorgeous, I love you. He put his hands on her shoulders. Why are
you letting him touch you, Alice?

I don't like
that man. He didn't do nothing wrong to me, but I just… He tried
saving Alice, and he talked to me afterwards, he was polite, asked
me how I feel, how well did I know Alice, and that's fine, but the
way that he looked at me, he stared at my face, at my eyes, my
shoes, my hands, my clothes. It was like he was estimating me,
weighing me on some scale… He's obviously one of those extravagant
big city guys that girls bleed for. Arrogant, patronising, one
moment asking me how I am, pretending he cares, next moment walking
next to me like I don't exist. And what kind of name is that? Jove.
Even his name has to be unique to show how unique he is. Common
names are not good enough for him. Just look at that crazy grin on
his face, come on, Kristen, how can't you see that?

Gunshot. Gunshots. Cleitus and
Emily are just returning from wherever they were. More
gunshots.

''Everybody, gather, who's
missing?'', said Cleitus.

''The elves have gone to the
mountains, they decided to go on, on their own'', said Lempo.

''We have to go to the source of
that shooting, and find out what happened. We have to be fast'',
said Cleitus.

We rushed up
the mountain slope, Cleitus and Jove and Laszlo went up so fast I
could barely follow them. It took us some time, but we reached some
plain on the mountainside. People. Maybe a dozen of them, standing
around dead bodies on the ground. We went closer and I got a better
look of them. Bearded men in old military uniforms. Mujahedins. No
doubt. They killed the elves. There they are, dead on the ground.
Two of their men are dead also. Shit, they saw us! Their aiming
their guns at us! Metal squeaked, and their weapons fell apart in
their arms. Emily did it to them. God, she's powerful. She's not
the girl I talked to at the convention.

''Any of you
speak any English?!'', said Cleitus.

''We all
do'', said the mujahedin: ''I'm lieutenant Elias Bodfish of the US
navy, and these are my men.''

I'll be damned.

''Navy?!'',
spoke Cleitus in anger: ''Well goddamnit lieutenant! The people you
killed were Americans! Americans!''

''Oh, no… How
the fuck could we know that?!'', yelled the lieutenant: ''They came
shooting arrows at us looking like some warriors from outer space!
They killed two of my men! Just look at their demon
eyes!''

''Those are contacts…'', said
resigned Cleitus: ''They're just people.''

No one knew
what to say to all this. The lieutenant spoke first.

''Is it
Halloween back home? Here, we've lost track of time.''

''No'', said
Cleitus: ''Well, for some, every day is Halloween.''

Lieutenant
asked him can they talk in private and they went aside, and I
couldn't hear them anymore.

Chapter thirty nine

''I thought you were a bunch of
ragheads.''

''I noticed that.''

''So what's
up with the beards... and the outfits… and everything
else?''

They don't look like the army,
they look like filthy hobos.

''We've been
stuck in these mountains for a very long time.''

''You couldn't find a way to the
next level?''

''I don't understand what you're
asking me.''

''You haven't tried leaving the
mountains?''

''Of course
we have. We're trying it ever since we got here. We're still
trying. We tried south, then east, we tried going west and north.
It's no use. Whatever we tried, we couldn't leave the mountains
behind us, I know it's impossible, but they never end. Afghan
mountains never end.''

This is
Afghanistan?

''How did you get here in the
first place?''

''This is
probably still classified and I shouldn't talk about it, but since
everything has gone to custard, I'm going to be honest with you,
son, and I expect honesty in return. That clear?''

Son. It's
clear, Dixie.

''Yes.''

''In 2006, I
reckon that's eight years ago, we were airdropped to these
mountains with the mission to apprehend, or take out, captain
Terror himself. Osama Bin Laden. Informations the intelligence gave
us located him in one of the mountain caves. Me and my boys raided
the cave, we found the evidence of his presence, but not and him.
We headed for the extraction point, but we just couldn't find it.
Our maps were no good. Soon we realized there's no way out. And
that he's here. Watching us. We saw him riding through the skies on
some strange dragon-like animal, chanting prayers to Allah, and
puking fire at us. We shot at him, but it's no use. He always keeps
coming back.''

''Who pukes fire?!''

''Both him
and his animal. Him. Bin Laden. We had a good look of him many
times. There's no mistake it's him.''

''Bodfish.
Listen to me. Bin Laden was killed back in 2011. He was living in
some mansion with his wife and kids somewhere in Pakistan. CIA
located him there. Special Ops raided the place and wacked him on
spot. They dropped his body in some far and deep sea so no one
would ever come visit his grave.''

''That sounds
like one of those creation myths, and out of his head sky was
created, out of his blood the sea and the rivers, right? Or that
fairytale, egg in the fish, fish in the duck, duck in the fox, and
fox in Bin Laden on the bottom of the sea. C'mon, boy, bottom of
the sea, seriously?! Did they remember to drive a wooden stake
through his heart?!''

''Make fun,
make fun. That's the official statement of Pentagon, your fuckin'
employers, not me. I didn't make this up!''

He doesn't believe me.

''You weren't
airdropped into Afghanistan from the maps, Bodfish, this here is a
different level of reality. A whole different world. Strange and
unreal with pink dinosaurs. This isn't Afghanistan, this is 'Porky
in Wackyland'!''

I shouldn't
of mention those pink gwangis. Not only doesn't he believe me now,
but he thinks I'm insane.

''Never
mind.''

I spoke loud so they can all
hear me.

''I understand that what
happened here was an accident. Let's just bury our dead.''

They covered
the dead bodies with rocks, that was the only thing they could do.
I had them all gather around and hold hands. I touched the two
standing closest to me and puff! Bunch of hobos appeared in the
Pine Cone Center park.

''This is
California. Find your way home from here.''

Yeah, you
welcome.

Chapter forty

I was
thinking about those soldiers
. I mean,
how did they survive out here for who knows how long? What did they
eat? All the plant life is scarce and pretty much dead. As for
animals, only thing I found here are snails. Mostly small ones,
with colorful shells. I picked one up. Black, white and brown
spirals on his shell creating something beautiful. Little mollusk
doesn't know how pretty he is. I thought there's nothing here
beside them. The dimension of snails. I was wrong. Then he
appeared.

It flew out
of the clouds towards us. Unlike anything I've ever seen fly. It's
some sort of shrimp. A giant crustacean that defies gravity.
It made weirdest noise, like someone's shouthing
in Arabic. Then I noticed some growth on its back. That growth is
actually a person, a rider. When it came closer, Marky, Laszlo and
I tried taking it down, we hit it a couple of times, but it did
nothing to it. It landed on the top of one nearby hill, and it's
still standing there, looking at us.

''What is that?''

Laszlo just shrugged.

''I think I know'', said Jove:
''One of the marines mentioned something that fits description.
Kinda.''

Before they
left, Jove talked to them. He took Cleit's cigars and offered each
of them. The rest of us kept aside. Their look didn't exactly
inspire confidence. But, they were probably even more afraid of us.
We shoot thunderbolts out of our hands.

''What did he say?''

''He said
they came here looking for Bin Laden, and that they found him,
riding on a dragon.''

''What?!''

''It could be
him. But he's too far to say anything for sure.''

''He's
definitely bearded'', said Laszlo: ''And that could be a kalash
hanging around his neck.''

''It makes sense'', said Jove:
''It makes perfect sense for planet Earth's most wanted man to hide
in one empty and deserted reality like this. Who knows who else is
hiding in here.''

''Oh, come
on! You're serious about this? That motherfucker is dead, it was
all over the news!''

''Yeah, I
remember. That wasn't very convincing. No body, no pictures, no
nothing. Seemed like a publicity stunt to me, like when somebody's
boob escapes at the music awards. Just sayin', yo.''

I don't believe it. Could it be
him? Could it be that that fiend is still alive? That his blood
soaked money bought him an entire dimension where he feels like
home?

''You really think it's
him?''

''I don't
know'', said Jove: ''But I wouldn't exclude the possibility. Let me
try something.''

He climbed on
one boulder so the shrimp rider could see him better. He put his
hands around his mouth, and yelled like a maniac.

''IS THAT YOU
BASHA?! ASSALAMU ALAIKUM BASHA!''

Then he made
irritating and loud throat sounds trying to imitate the way Arabs
speak. And laughed like an idiot. 'Basha' got of his prawn and
shouted back. He took his kalashnikov and fired to the sky. Jove
and Laszlo laughed like two morons. I grabbed Jove for his belt and
pulled him of that boulder.

''Did you have your fun?''

He wrapped his arms around
me.

''Now help me kill him.''

''What? Why?''

''Because that's what he
deserves.''

He took the
grin off
his face and released me from
his embrace.

''No… Krissy, he did nothing to
me.''

Krissy?

''He did
nothing to you?! Guy that has become the number one celebrity of
evil and death in the collective consciousness of the world that
values life? Seriously, Jove?! Help me blow his lights
out.''

''Coming into
somebody's house uninvited and blowing his lights out is a pretty
vile thang to do, whatever your world values. No.''

I thought he has a thing for me.
I was sure he'll humor me for that.

''I don't get you Jove.''

''I like blowing lights out'',
said Laszlo, strange man with the sword: ''Let's go.''

I went with
him and Marky to hunt that beast down. Alden also joined us,
although no one invited him. I looked back. Jove sits alone on the
boulder and watches us. I don't get you Jove.