next breath. “You’re in the hospital. You’re okay. Nothing to
worry about.” I reached for his hand, and he squeezed my
fingers just a bit. “I’m here, Jesse. I’m not going anywhere.”
And he was seeing me, then. I could see the change in
his eyes, hearing what I was saying, and the tears slipped
out of the corners of his eyes and slid down toward his ears.
I leaned closer. “I’ll never leave you. I love you too much. I
tried not to, but you were too strong for me.”
And the nurse stuck her head inside the door. “That’s
good for now. Let’s give him a rest.”
We got to sit in the waiting room with the fuckhead, who
appeared to me to be enjoying his role of keeper of the
floodgates. “I want you to do something for Jesse,” he said,
snapping his phone shut. I waited. “You probably didn’t see
the news, since you were on the plane, but everybody’s
waiting to see if he’s okay. It will mean a lot to this peace
march if he makes it.”
“If he makes it? Isn’t that nice. It will mean something
for a lot of people if he
makes
it.”
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“This was important to him.” Sam looked exhausted
suddenly, his face an unhealthy gray. “Look, you can think
whatever you want about me. But he wasn’t doing this for
the money. He had something to say. He wanted to say it
with his painting, and he wanted to say it with this peace
march. Now, are you gonna help him or not?”
The Original stood up next to me.
“What is it you want me to do?”
“I want you to go on the stage at the rally and tell
everyone that Jesse is going to live.”
“And by any chance, will there be a video projection of
Death of a Grievous Angel
behind me, when I say this?”
“Yes. And I want you to pull your shirt open, let
everybody see your chest, before you say anything.”
“Excuse me?”
He held up a hand to stop me. “Let them see he was
telling the truth. Let them see your scars, so they’ll know his
painting was telling the truth. You let everybody get a good
look. Then you tell them he’s going to live.”
I stared at him. He was right.
Let them see he was telling
the truth
. I didn’t think that painting needed corroboration.
But it would be a fine piece of TV. It occurred to me that he
might be the most manipulative person ever to walk the face
of the earth. If he was a bug, I would have squashed him
under my heel without a second thought.
“I’ll do this. And then you’re out of his life. You take
your commission, and you make whatever arrangements you
need to make with the money, and then you let him go, you
understand me?”
He started to protest, and I stood up, reached for the
hem of my T-shirt, and pulled it over my head. He looked
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hard at the scars on my chest and the muscles across my
shoulders. “Fuck. Yeah, fine, cowboy. You take him. He’s
yours.”
The Original tugged me back and spoke to Sam. “Son,
you look tired. Why don’t you take a break? Get some rest?
You can come get Lorenzo when you want him for your dog
and pony show.”
Sam wouldn’t look at me, and I pulled my T-shirt back
on. “Fine. Where’s he gonna be?”
I just shook my head, heard the gentle irony in The
Original’s voice. “He’s gonna be here, with Jesse.”
I waited outside the glass box for my five minutes every
hour, and after a while, The Original and I took turns
sleeping, so someone was always awake in case he wanted
us. In the morning, the nurse showed me where the shower
was, and I went downstairs to the barber shop and got my
hair cut in a USMC regulation high and tight. I wanted to
look good if I was going to strip for CNN. The Original was
looking tired, old and frail, and I tried to talk him into going
to a hotel to sleep, but he wouldn’t leave.
They took the breathing tube out early on the third
morning, and I could hear Jesse cry out in pain when he
coughed. His throat was full of fluid, but when he coughed,
it hurt his chest so much he was crying. I went into the room
with the nurse, lifted him up and bent him over, held my
hand over his chest wound while he coughed. “That’s right,”
the nurse said, grabbing a basin. “You’ve done this before.”
When he could breathe again, I brought the little
toothbrush and paste I’d bought downstairs and brushed his
teeth. He took a sip of water, swished, and spit the
toothpaste out in the basin. Then I wiped his face with a wet
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wipe, scrubbed the last remains of the adhesive from his
chin. He lay back against the pillows, exhausted. He opened
his eyes, watched me, and I leaned over and kissed his lips.
“Minty and fresh,” I said, kissing him again. He looked at
me, and I watched his eyes fill up with tears, spill over.
“None of that,” I said, kissing his eyes, his nose, kissing his
mouth again. “Jesus, Jesse, I just kissed you ten times, and
your heart rate didn’t go up enough to alert the nurse. I’ll
have to do better next time.”
His voice was scratchy from the tube, and I could see it
hurt to swallow. I put the straw up to his mouth and let him
have a sip of water. “Is Granddad okay?”
“Yeah. He’s tired and upset, but he’s tough, Jesse. We
were watching the TV at home and saw you get shot.”
“Did he see the pictures? Of him in Vietnam, and my
dad?”
“Yeah. They made him cry a little bit, he was so proud of
you. Of what you were doing. I was, too.” He closed his eyes,
turned his head away. “Jesse, I have to be gone for a couple
of hours. Your granddad’s gonna stay with you.”
His fingers tightened on mine. “Where are you going?”
“I thought I’d go shag that fuckhead Sammy.”
He laughed, his eyes tired, drooping shut. “Did you get
the drawing I sent you?”
“Of the men you love? Yeah. It’s sitting on the kitchen
table.”
“Propped up by the ceramic chicken?”
“Yep.” I reached out, ran my fingers down his face. “The
three of us are just sitting on the porch, waiting for the boy
we all love to come home.”
“You still have the camper?”
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“It’s out behind the house.”
“Is there room for me in your Bambi?” His eyes were
closed, his voice slurred. I leaned over and kissed him again
and watched him breathe until I was sure he was asleep.
Out in the waiting room, The Original was looking
through a large-print edition of Reader’s Digest. “This
magazine,” he announced, “is twelve years old. I read the
whole damn thing before I thought to look at the date.”
“He’s asleep,” I said.
“Sam’s on his way up. If you don’t mind, Lorenzo, I’m
not going to watch. I’m not sure I can take much more of this
drama.”
“Thank you. Now if I could only convince the other
twenty-three million anticipated viewers to turn off their TVs,
I think we might get some work done. Don’t these people
have jobs to go to?”
“Not everybody can be a cartoonist.”
The elevator opened, and Sam stepped out. He was
carrying a red shirt covered in dry-cleaner’s plastic. I took it,
stripped off my T-shirt. “Hang on,” he said and reached up to
my chest, put some dark-red color on the scars with a little
makeup brush.
I looked down at his head, wishing I could crush his
balls with my cowboy boots. But Jesse wouldn’t like it. “I can
just take comfort in the fact that I will never have to set eyes
on your face again, after today.”
“Is that right, Jesusboy? Oh, sorry, Maryboy.” He stood
up and smiled. “We’re gonna try and play nice? For Jesse?”
The shirt was sand-washed silk, the color of old blood,
and it looked good against my dark-brown skin. Between the
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shirt and the makeup, TV audiences everywhere would be
able to see the scars in vivid living color.
We rode to the Mall in silence, in the back of a
limousine. When we got backstage at the peace march, Sam
morphed into my best friend, his hand on my elbow
whenever somebody happened to look our way.
“I think you’re a little bit too old for all this pretty-boy
fey crap you keep putting on.” Anyone looking at us would
see my friendly smile, just a couple of peaceful men talking
together.
“Yeah? I’m older than you, that’s true, Jesusboy. I’m
smarter than you, richer than you, better-looking, more
charming, and a whole hell of a lot better in bed than you.
Now and forever, cupcake. You won’t ever catch up with me,
no matter how fast you run.” He smiled and introduced me
to too many people to remember, and I could see the curious
glances thrown my way by the staff working backstage. Of
course, they had all see the painting.
The comedian finished his routine, and the crowd grew
quiet. Then the screen on the stage was filled with the image
of
Death of a Grievous Angel
, and the noise from the crowd
started. I waited to the count of five, then Sam gave me a
little shove in the back.
I walked out across the stage. Stood at the microphone
and waited for the noise to quiet. I could see that images of
me were projected on screens around the mall for people who
weren’t close enough to see and hear. I reached up, started
unbuttoning my shirt. I held it open, showed my scarred
bare chest to the world. I leaned forward and spoke into the
microphone. “I’m Staff Sergeant Lorenzo Maryboy.” I waited
for the world to look at my chest, to look at the painting
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behind me, the black shrapnel and the black wings. “I
wanted to let you know that my friend, the painter Jesse
Clayton, is going to live. That bullet didn’t come close to
touching his heart.”
I looked at them all in amazement, these strangers,
screaming and crying, hugging each other, pointing up at
me, with the image of my naked, crucified body behind them.
I didn’t understand what had happened, the strange
collective pain and triumph, but when I nodded and walked
off the stage, I knew that it was something good.
I could see Sam shaking hands and hugging the
organizers backstage. They all looked happy as pigs in shit.
We exchanged careful nods across the open backstage, just
to remind ourselves that we hated each other, then I slipped
out the door and caught a cab back to the hospital.
“It’s a madhouse out there,” the cabbie said. “Too many
coolers of beer among those peace marchers if you ask me.
I’m their designated driver when they can’t march anymore.”
He snuffled into his beard. “Hey, you hear some kid got
shot? A painter or something. I’ve got a theory about that.
They say it was just one, but I think there was a second
shooter.”
I closed my eyes, buttoned my shirt back up, and said a
prayer.
Please, Jesus, just let me get the old man and Jesse
back to Texas. Let me get my people home safely, and I’ll let
Jesse paint as many pictures of you and of me as he wants
to. I promise. You know what’s in his heart. Don’t let anybody
else hurt him, and I’ll watch over him all my days, and keep
him safe.
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Chapter Thirteen
JESSE was out of the ICU in a week. The sound of his
scream when they pulled out the chest tube was the final
straw for the old man, who took himself off to a hotel and
slept for eighteen hours.
I walked over half of DC, looking for a grocery store that
carried fresh strawberries, because Jesse said he wanted
some, and when I got back to his room, he was talking to
Sam. “Yeah? He did? No way, Sammy, I don’t believe he
threatened you.” I washed the strawberries in the sink,
pulled the container of Greek yogurt from the bag. “It’s on
YouTube? I’ll take a look. No. No, not yet, Sam, just….” I
held my hand out for the phone, but he turned away. “I’ve
got to go. Listen, just tell anybody who asks that I’m going