Marching With Caesar - Civil War (64 page)

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The men of the 10th had now been simmering in camp for more than a year since Caesar had sent them away from Pharsalus. Despite there being some trouble in the past months, for the most part it had been small-scale and localized to a few men. However, the Tribunes Avienus and Fonteius had continued to agitate the men, telling them that they held legitimate grievances and were owed much by Caesar. This was true as far as it went; Caesar had indeed made promises to the men. Nonetheless, Avienus, Fonteius, and some of the Centurions had convinced them that since Caesar had not produced the promised rewards, they were entitled to take what they wanted. To that end, the men entered the city, going straight to the rich neighborhoods on the Palatine and Janiculum, ransacking houses, and taking everything they could carry off. During their rampage, two former Praetors, men named Cosconius and Galba, were murdered in their homes when they tried to defend their property. Shortly after the men of the 10th began their looting, they were joined by the 8th and 9th, and from all accounts, the city was in terror as the battle-hardened soldiers of Caesar’s army ran rampant through the streets. Only the 7th refused to join their comrades, and when Antonius ordered them to cordon off the city, they obeyed his orders. Rather than fight their comrades, the men of the mutinous Legions left the city, heading south to Campania, where the estates of the wealthy lay undefended, ripe for the picking.

This dire news brought Caesar from Asia, moving even faster than his normal speed, so that he arrived in Rome about the same time as the men returning to their camp from Campania, so loaded down with loot that they needed wagons to carry it all. At first, Caesar refused to go to meet the men, sending instead one of his aides, Gaius Sallustius Crispus, who was authorized by Caesar to promise the sum of 4,000 sesterces per man. Unfortunately, when the men demanded that he produce the sum in cash right then and he was unable to do so, Crispus was thrown out of the camp, and I mean that he was physically manhandled when he was ejected. Caesar then was forced to do something that I know had to rub him raw: going to the camp in person to face the mutinous Legions. All of this took place while we were marching, making the first time that I heard of any of it was when a courier came galloping down the Via Egnatia looking for me, carrying orders to make my way to Rome immediately by the fastest possible means. Naturally, this meant by horseback, and accompanying the orders was written authorization from Caesar himself to exchange mounts at government way stations, with the highest priority. The orders did not state why I was so urgently needed, while the courier could only tell me that there had been trouble with the 10th, but could provide no specifics. I did not have time for anything other than a hasty meeting with the Centurions, where I turned over command of the 6th to Valens, who was the senior ranking Centurion, and whose performance over the last few months had erased my earlier low opinion of him and his abilities.

“Will we see you when we get to Rome?” Felix asked.

All I could do was shrug and say that I hoped so, but I did not know. With that, we shook hands before I turned to Diocles, who was standing nearby trying not to look worried, without much success. On his skinny shoulders fell the responsibility of following me with all of my belongings that I could not carry on horseback or the one pack animal I had commandeered, despite not knowing exactly where I was headed beyond Rome. A number of slaves that had come into my possession over the last few years were included in my household, not counting those that were leased out to others, and now Diocles was in charge of all of it. Despite the fact that he had not been in my household for much more than a year, I had come to trust him implicitly, not only in the matter of running my affairs, but in his judgment about all manner of things. However, this was by far the biggest challenge during his time with me, and I could see that he was very concerned, despite doing what I could to assure him that I had complete confidence in him. I would have embraced him, but that would not have been seemly in front of others for a master to show that level of regard for a slave, so instead I shook his hand as an equal, which was probably only marginally better in the eyes of some of those watching. With that, I mounted the courier’s horse, grabbed the lead of the animal that had been hurriedly packed with my most necessary belongings, and I left the camp at a trot, heading for Caesar.

Chapter 7- Thapsus

I rode from before dawn until well after dark, stopping only when I was completely exhausted or when the horses were in danger of foundering. Then, I would throw myself down on the ground, wrapping myself in my cloak, trying to get a few thirds of a watch of sleep. In this manner, I covered about 70 miles a day, sometimes more and sometimes, but not often, a little less. Every two or three days, I would run into a courier heading somewhere at Caesar’s command, carrying instructions to provincial governors. Through them, in bits and pieces, I learned more details of what had happened with the Spanish Legions in Rome, although it was little enough. The biggest and, I suppose, best piece of news was that somehow things had been worked out to the point that the Spanish Legions were now marching with Caesar down the peninsula. From there, they would take ship for Sicily to prepare for the invasion of Africa, since Africa was where Scipio, Cato, and the rest of the Pompeian generals that had escaped from Pharsalus had fled. It was from these couriers that I learned that if I went to Rome, I would arrive weeks after the Spanish Legions had packed up to begin marching down the peninsula, so I made the decision that I would stop at Brundisium to see Gisela, Vibi, and my new baby daughter. I could not stay long, and in truth, I was not sure it was a good idea, thinking that it might make things worse between us instead of better, but I wanted to see my family. Making it to Dyrrhachium in September, I was forced to wait for two weeks before the winds were right to get a ship to Brundisium, sailing into port shortly before dark.

It is hard for me to describe how nervous I was, walking from the docks to the apartment. I was suddenly worried that Gisela and the children might have moved and I did not know it. Yet when I got to the building, the same people lived on the lower floor, and while they were surprised to see me, they assured me that Gisela still lived on the upper floor. Mounting the steps, yet another thought assailed me, this one much darker and more disturbing. Would she be alone? While I did not think she would be unfaithful, I knew of too many other men who had thought the same thing, only to be wrong, and things had not been exactly harmonious between us when I left. For a moment, I turned to leave. Yet, as much as I dreaded the idea of discovering that she had indeed taken a lover, the need to know was even stronger, so I continued up the steps, making sure that I trod heavily to give her some warning of my coming. Then I found myself standing before the door, knocking once, then twice. Finally, on the third try, I heard a stirring from inside, followed by the sound of the latch being raised. The door opened, and I was face to face with my wife for the first time in almost two years. She was as beautiful as I remembered her, so I drank in the sight of her, eyes wide in shock, tendrils of hair framing her face, the color draining from it at the sight of me. Before I could say a word, she collapsed at my feet in a dead faint.

~ ~ ~ ~

After Gisela fell to the floor, I heard a pair of small feet scurrying from the other room. A little boy burst into view, a look of alarm and fear on his chubby face. He stopped short when he saw me, and we stood staring at each other for a moment before I knelt by Gisela. Then, letting out a howl of rage, he came charging at me, his little fists bunched up, his face contorted in anger.

“You leave my mama alone,” he howled.

Before I could react, he was flailing at me with his fists, and I am proud to say that he hit hard.

“Vibi, it’s all right.” I tried to keep my voice soothing, but I was having a hard time of it since I was trying not to laugh. “It’s me, it’s Tata.”

This had no effect whatsoever, at least the first five or six times I said it, but he began to lose energy and the words I was saying began to sink in. Gradually, he stopped, his little chest heaving, his face bright red as his chin began to quiver. In the time I had been away, he had of course grown, but even more striking was his resemblance to my sisters, Valeria in particular. The fact that Valeria and I favored each other meant that he looked like me as well, yet that was not the first thought that struck me when I looked at him. Gisela had begun to stir, and at her first movement, both Vibi and I looked down at her in time to see her eyes flutter open. She then tried to focus on my face.

Finally, she spoke in a weak voice. “Titus, is it really you?”

“Yes, love. It’s really me.”

“Tata?” Vibi’s voice wavered, all traces of anger gone, and I answered him with a smile.

“Yes, Vibi. It’s Tata. I’ve come home to see my big boy.”

Suddenly, he burst into tears. Instead of coming to me, he threw himself into Gisela’s arms, while I tried not to show how much it hurt. I had tried to prepare myself for a variety of reactions; after all, I had been gone for most of the boy’s life, so I kept telling myself that I should not expect him to remember me, or to throw himself immediately into my arms. Still, it hurt. Gisela had lifted herself onto an elbow, and I bent down, picking her up around the waist then lifting her to her feet, with Vibi clinging to her neck, bawling his eyes out. One of her arms shot out to grab around my neck, squeezing so hard that I started to see stars because she was cutting off my air, and we stood there like that for some time, all of us sobbing. We smothered each other with kisses, then quickly enough, Vibi demanded equal attention from me, transferring himself from Gisela’s arms to mine.

“Mama?”

I turned to see the most beautiful child I had ever laid eyes on, a vision of perfection with sleepy eyes and tawny red hair the color of her mother’s. Her eyes were green just like Gisela’s, but her coloring was more like mine, providing a contrast that was hypnotic. She stood there holding a rag doll, obviously just awakened from the disturbance. Unlike Vibi, her expression was neither of anger nor fear, just curiosity.

“It’s Tata,” Vibi said with that mixture of disdain and superiority that all older siblings use when they want to show off in front of others. “He’s come home.”

I almost opened my mouth to correct Vibi that I was not home to stay, then thought better of it. There was no need to ruin this reunion, just moments after it had started. Gisela had composed herself somewhat, and relieved of Vibi, she turned to go and pick up my daughter, bringing her back to me for me to examine. We regarded each other for a moment, then without any prompting from her mother, she reached out for me to take her. I handed Vibi back to his mother, which he did not like at all, and I swept the girl into my arms.

“Titus, meet your daughter, Livia.”

Holding her at arm’s length, I inspected her closely, as she did the same to me, and I marveled at her. My throat tightened as I glimpsed my dead sister in her features, just a hint in the chin and the set of her mouth.

“She is beautiful,” I said hoarsely.

“Yes, I suspect that we are going to have some sleepless nights when she gets older,” Gisela said dryly.

I hugged her tightly, reveling in the feel of her tiny arms around my neck and the sweet smell of her scent. At the same time, I was struck by an overwhelming sense of shame, shame that I had not given my family as much thought and attention as they deserved, and at that moment, I thought that perhaps it was time for me to end my time in the Legions.

~ ~ ~ ~

Although the time had grown late, Gisela roused the servants to prepare a meal for me. While we were waiting, I played with my children. I had brought presents of course, things that I bought in Dyrrhachium when I was waiting for the ship to bring me across the sea. For Vibi, I had a set of carved Legionaries; for Livia, a doll and a set of combs made of ivory. Finally, for Gisela, I had a gold brooch with a ruby the size of a robin’s egg set in the center of it, though I did not tell her how I had come to possess it, and she knew better than to ask. Women enjoy gifts, but when they come from a dead body, it tends to kill the romance, so to speak. Sitting at the table, I briefly recounted what had transpired over the few months since I had last written, which Gisela did not waste any time in bringing up, I can promise you.

“The only way I knew you weren’t dead was that the money kept coming,” she said somewhat sharply, regarding me with an angry glare and some well-chosen words in her native tongue, and I resolved to myself to start thinking about what I was going to say before I actually opened my mouth.

It is a promise I have made to myself more times than I can count, and broken almost every time I make it. Naturally, being a woman, Gisela was less interested in hearing my accounts of the battles we had fought, preferring instead to hear about Cleopatra.

“So is she as beautiful as they say she is?”

I laughed. “Gods, no. She’s really quite plain. In fact, when I first met her, I was astounded that Caesar would have anything to do with her.”

I do not know why, but Gisela looked pleased at this revelation.

Then, as quickly as it had come, her look of happiness disappeared, her eyes suddenly narrowing a bit. “When you first met her you thought that way? But obviously something changed your mind. What was it? Did she suddenly become beautiful in your eyes?”

I knew trouble when I heard it. Gisela had always had a jealous streak in her makeup, which I did not mind all that much, but now I had to steer a very careful course.

“No,” I said quickly, perhaps too quickly because her lips thinned out, a sure sign that depending on how I handled things, crockery could be flying. “Nothing like that. It’s just that once I spent some time around her, she proved to be quite remarkable in some ways. She has a very quick wit, and she can swap camp stories that would make the saltiest Legionary blush. She has a knack for putting people at ease. That’s all, really. She still was as plain as the planks on this table, but her personality made her seem more attractive than she actually was.”

I was vastly relieved to see that Gisela accepted this, in fact finding it greatly amusing. Like many beautiful women, Gisela seemed to take a delight in hearing that women who were considered beauties in their own right did not live up to the name for one reason or another. In turn, Gisela caught me up on what she knew of the political situation, which was little enough. It was from her that I learned that Caesar had gone to Sicily, and that the Spanish Legions were marching to meet him.

“Which is where you are going, isn’t it?”

It might have been in the form of a question, but it was a statement by Gisela that I only needed to nod my head to verify. When I did, she took it much better than I thought she would, giving a sigh as she bounced Livia on her knee.

“The minute I saw you in the doorway, I knew that was why you had come back to Italy,” she said, and there was no mistaking the bitterness in her voice.

I was about to open my mouth, then thought better of it. There was nothing that I could say that would not make things worse, so for once I managed to keep myself from getting in even bigger trouble, concentrating instead on sopping up the last of the stew with a piece of bread, which I split with Vibi. For his part, he munched happily away, oblivious that shortly his world would be turned upside down just as quickly and suddenly as it had when I appeared. Sitting in silence for several moments, things were becoming almost painful before Gisela suddenly stood up from the table, telling Vibi that it was his bedtime, a fact that he had no intention of surrendering to without a fight. Finally, he gave in only when I picked him up, carrying him to his bed, which was across the room from where Gisela and the baby slept. He was very proud of the fact that he slept by himself, and I agreed with him that it indeed meant that he was almost a grown man.

“Soon you’ll be standing next to me in a
testudo
,” I teased.

“Over my dead body,” Gisela said.

I looked up to see if she was smiling when she said it, but she was not. I shot her a dark look, which of course she ignored. Kissing Vibi good night, I was happy to see that he was asleep within moments, one tiny fist tightly clutching one of the toy Legionaries. I stood there looking at him for a moment, with the heavy feeling in my chest stronger than ever as I wondered when the next time I would put him to bed and how old he would be then. Coming home to see my family had certainly made me happy in many ways, but it also raised questions in my mind that I had not experienced in some time. I was not getting any younger, and I was already wealthier than I had dreamed possible, particularly since I had not spent much of my money on drinking, gambling, or whores like most of my comrades. This meant that I could leave the Legions and never work another day in my life unless I wanted to, even if I might not have enough to elevate myself and my family into the equestrian class, but it would not be hard for Vibi to do so when he was old enough to start his own career. All these thoughts and more rushed through my head as I watched my son sleep, and then I felt Gisela at my shoulder. Turning, I saw that Livia was fast asleep, her head lying on Gisela’s shoulder as her mother patted her on the back, making me wonder if my mother had done that for my sisters. Gazing at the two of them, with Gisela looking back at me, her eyes glistening with tears, I thought my heart would rend itself at the sight. I moved to her, but she shook her head and stepped away, making my heartache even stronger. Then I saw that I had misunderstood, as she gently laid the baby down on a pallet she had prepared next to the bed. Once she was satisfied that Livia was comfortably tucked in, only then did she come to me, stepping into my arms, and I remembered all the reasons why I loved her at that moment.