Markings (18 page)

“It’s alright,” he said, but kept his distance. He glanced at the graffiti then at me. I knew he wanted me to stay away from it, go back to the house.

But I couldn’t. The words towered over my head as I stood below them. Their color was such an angry red it hurt to look straight at it. I reached up and touched a letter D, which was painted so sharp that I could practically feel the hatred radiating. Whoever had painted these words despised the “queen”.

Despised me.

When I’d come home from Mt. Hood, I’d thought I was safe. I thought Wildcat Country, my part of Oregon, was a safe place. The Iew Keftey hadn’t fully infiltrated here, and this was the main stronghold for the Miews. I now realized that nowhere was safe. The Iew Keftey would one day come in, full-force.

And the person wearing the biggest target was me.

A warm hand touched my wrist, giving it a gentle pull. I stepped back into Aaron’s chest. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he whispered.

“They want me dead.” I started shaking. It was a stupid thing to say because I had already known this. “They won’t stop trying until I’m dead.” Because I was Miew, the Alpha—my genes had doomed me.

“No one is going to kill you.” Aaron wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tight against him. I buried my face in his shirt, willing the images of hostile wolves to go away. “There are many clan members on your side. I know you don’t know that yet, but you do.” He kissed the top of my head. “Calm down. It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

I pulled away from him, turning so he couldn’t see me dry the tears. “I want out of here.” I tromped towards the hill, Aaron following close behind. I never glanced back at the ghost town, trying to erase it from my thoughts. I wished I hadn’t seen or understood any of this.

I sensed many a sleepless night ahead.

•   •   •

It wasn’t until the sun went down completely and the daylight stopped warming the windows that the house’s temperature began to drop. Aaron found an old generator in the garage, but it was small and temperamental. We got a few hours out of it, running an old space heater and the living room TV. We had no cable, so Aaron took out a DVD from the collection in his bedroom—an action film with Denzel Washington in it.

Near midnight I grew tired again, which was silly since I’d slept all day. With thoughts of the Iew Keftey closing in, I couldn’t really sleep, but I managed to lightly doze on one end of the couch wrapped in a fleecy blanket while Aaron sat on the other end, occasionally scooting closer. He jumped when I tried to tuck my cold feet under his thigh. I figured he’d move away after that, but he stayed near, using my knees as an armrest.

By early morning, the candles had burned to the ends of their wicks. I blinked blearily at the dim living room as Aaron lifted me off the couch and laid me back in his bedroom. I fell asleep for real this time, my dreams mixed between kissing the hottest guy in Oregon and running from a cloud of snarling, black furs.

It was pitch black when I woke up, shaking uncontrollably. The room had a chill to it, the sheets freezing cold. Sitting up, I hugged Aaron’s sweatshirt around me. My hands were ice, and I could feel my breath hover around me. Tapping the sheets, I felt another blanket on the bed, but it still hadn’t been good enough.

What to do
? I didn’t know where to look for another blanket, and I didn’t want to wake Aaron if he was asleep, wherever he was, but I couldn’t just lay there. Standing up, I paced back and forth, trying to get my blood flowing. Goosebumps covered my thighs.

Damn, this is ridiculous.
Walking to the closet, I pulled the doors back and started feeling around. I bumped into the outline of a dresser, then smacked my hand on an upper closet shelf. My fingers ran along the shelf, bringing up only dust.
Crap
. Blindly, I started opening dresser drawers.

I was on the third drawer down when the bedroom door opened. “Lina?” Aaron had a lighter on, his outline barely visible. He sounded groggy.

I startled, thunking my head on the shelf. “Ouch!”

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“F—freezing to d—death,” I stuttered, knowing this must look bad, me going through his old stuff.

“Aw, crap. Really?”

“Uh, yeah, r—really.”

He swore under his breath. “Damn, I’m sorry. Um, hold on.”

I shut the closet as he disappeared down the hall. I had just stumbled back into bed when he returned, dumping another blanket on me. “It’s kind of thin. We cleaned a lot of stuff out after everything happened. I’ll make a note to bring some other blankets down here,” he said.

“This one isn’t yours, is it?” He couldn’t give up his only blanket for me. I wouldn’t take it.

He didn’t answer that. “Do you want a candle or anything? I know it’s a black hole in here.”

“How are you going to sleep without a blanket? You’ll freeze! What is it like, twenty below zero in here?”

“Lina, you forget that I’m a wildcat. I’ll sleep in the fur if I have to. Or worse comes to worse, I’ll just come sleep with you.” He snorted.

For a moment, I let myself ponder that while spreading the blanket. He’d been joking, but . . . “You know, that really isn’t a bad idea,” I said, thinking about his chest when he’d been pressed up against me. He was so warm. I would be toasty in no time, guarantee myself sleep through the night. Plus, I liked having him close.

He let off a dark laugh. “Lina, I’ve already jumped you once today. I think that would be a
very
bad idea.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Maybe not, but what do you expect me to think?”

“
Ugh.
Fine, never mind.” The last of my body’s heat moved into my face. Mom popped into mind, giving me the birds and bees recap. Yanking the blankets up to my chin, I curled into a ball.

Aaron stood there blinking at me then made a disgruntled noise. “Hell, move over.” He lifted the blankets, sending a frosty breeze across my legs. Flicking the lighter off, he settled onto his side, pushing pillows around in the dark.

In seconds, I felt a difference in temperature. I laid a hand near the middle of the mattress. It was warm to the touch.
Yes
,
thank God
. I uncurled from my ball, goose bumps sinking back into my skin. I fell into a pre-dozing stage when the weight in the mattress changed. I felt hot all of a sudden. Really hot. Aaron’s breathing sounded louder, his breath brushing my neck.

I tried to roll over and collided with his side. “Aaron.”

“Hmm?”

“What are you doing?”

He hesitated. “You said you were cold.”

“Um.” He shifted closer, cheek touching my shoulder. My heart started beating in my ears. He rubbed his face on my back, his leg bumping mine. I shivered for a whole different reason now. “Remember earlier how you said I wasn’t helping you?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, now you’re not helping me.”

He didn’t move away. “And what am I not helping you to do?” There was a smile in his voice.

I squeezed my eyes shut.
Love the shit out of you, that’s what.
Safe to say I was still “pure” as Mom called it, and I planned on keeping it that way for a while, but his closeness still made me want to roll over and kiss every freckled inch of him. His arm snuck over my waist, hand tucked under my ribcage. I chewed my lip. Joy and desire mixed through my veins, leaving me wide awake with dangerous thoughts. Slowly, I rolled over in his arms. His nose touched mine.

I couldn’t stop myself. Shifting forward, I kissed his lips. His grip on my waist tightened. He inhaled, breathing me in, kissing me back. They started as soft kisses, but intensified quickly. He pushed me onto my back, shifting over the top of me like before. Wounds mostly healed, it didn’t hurt this time to press against him, soak in his heat. God, he felt wonderful. His kisses moved to my face, trailing hot down my throat. I leaned to kiss his cheek, then stopped, feeling his fingers tug at the back of my underwear.

Wonderful feeling gone. Panic raged through me, and I jerked down, smashing his hand flat into the mattress. He snapped out of it, pulling away.

“No,” I said. “Let go.”

For a second he didn’t move, then he slid his fingers out from under me. He rolled off me for a second time today, shifting to his side of the bed. “I’m sorry. Again,” he whispered.

“Just because I want to kiss you, that doesn’t mean I want, you know, the rest of it all in the first night. Jeez.” I sighed, rubbing my face. My throat was still hot from his kiss. “But I guess I should’ve expected that. So I’m sorry, too.”

He groaned. “I’m sorry, Lina. But I kind of couldn’t help it.”

“Let’s just say I had given in. What would you have used for protection, huh?”

“There’s a condom in my nightstand—”

“Oh,
God!
I didn’t need to know that!” I shifted further away from him. All of a sudden I was mad. “What do you keep them in your nightstand for? You don’t even live here! What, you drag town girls out here for exhilarating, one-night-stands? Is that why you took me here?”

“What the—No!”

“So you’re not a virgin, apparently.” I felt too innocent, like a little girl, while he was the adult.

Aaron let out a feline growl. I jumped at the sound. “I . . . I’m not.” He paused. “Look, I don’t believe in one-night-stands. And I’ve wanted you for a while.”

I cooled down a little. No one had ever said they wanted me before. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm. So you don’t drag girls out here, huh?”

“Just you.”

“Yeah, why me, anyway?”

“Because. One, you were injured, and two, you’re special. Not just Alpha special, either. You’re funny, relatable . . . real. And I’m glad you stopped me. To be honest, I probably would’ve stopped before anything happened. While reaching for the nightstand I would’ve thought about it. I would’ve wondered what would happen afterward, and if it was worth either of us risking harm.”

I soaked this in. Goose bumps started up my legs again. I wanted to crawl back towards him, but the fear hadn’t quite gone away yet. “You can’t have me. Not right now,” I said. “I was raised old-school. My mom always told me, ‘you’d better be married or pretty damn sure before you give it up.
’
”

“So,” he started. “You’re still innocent. Aren’t you?”

I didn’t want to admit it, so I didn’t answer.

“I see.” He sounded thoughtful. “I must’ve really scared you.”

“No. Just startled me, I guess. And, okay, I was a little shocked you went for it this fast.”

He made an insecure noise. “I know.”

“Does it bother you?”

“That you’re an innocent?”

“Yeah. Boys don’t want virgins for girlfriends.”

“That’s not true. And no, it doesn’t bother me. It means I need to be more considerate of you, and not do stupid shit like what I just did.”

“Mm.” I frowned at the window, barely visible in the dark. A shiver went through me.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

“Maybe.” I fussed with the sheets, trying to tuck them around me.

“If I ask for another chance, will you let me?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Are you going to behave?”

His pillow crackled. He was nodding. “I promise.”

“Oh, all right.” I un-tucked myself and turned onto my side.

He slid back against me, but didn’t put his arm around me like before. I exhaled, relaxing. The heat returned. “Does it bother you?” he asked.

“Does what bother me?”

“That I’m not an innocent.”

“I don’t know. How many girls have you had?”

He seemed reluctant to answer. “. . . Two.”

“Did you love them?”

“One I did. One I didn’t.”

“You didn’t love the other one, but you did her anyway? That doesn’t make sense.” It baffled me how people could let themselves become one with someone they didn’t truly care about, or want to be with long-term.

“It wouldn’t,” he sighed, sounding tired of this subject. “When Halia died, I was desperate to feel something, anything, for someone. Just so I’d stop thinking so much about her. The girl that came after, I cared about but she wasn’t right for me and I knew it. I left her pretty fast.”

I pursed my lips. “Hmm.”

“You must think I’m awful.”

“You’ve saved my life twice now, and you’re keeping me warm. How can I think you’re awful?” I reached back, feeling around for his hand. Grabbing his wrist, I pulled his arm back over me. He scooted closer, back to where he’d been. “You don’t have to explain anymore to me right now. I understand. You made some bad decisions, and you’ve been to hell and back. I know.”

“I
was
stuck in hell,” he said. Aaron scooped his legs behind mine, thighs below my own. I yawned, sleepy again. I couldn’t believe how much I’d slept in the past twenty-four hours. Thoughts of the Iew Keftey seemed far away. They now turned solidly to Aaron. Snuggling down in my pillow, I closed my eyes, soaking in his heat. I felt him nudge my ear.

“You brought me back,” he whispered.

Chapter 20: Truths

A
aron’s Cougar rumbled closer to the house, making my stomach knot. Our Honda sat silent in the driveway, parked in front of the garage. I’m not sure what I expected, but I didn’t expect home to look so normal, like it was just another day, like this wasn’t the home of a woman missing her teenage daughter.

“Don’t worry,” Aaron said as he pulled in, cutting the engine.

I groaned. “Easy for you to say. Your head’s not on the chopping block.”

“It might be.” He glanced uneasily at the front door. “Does your mother trust teenage guys?”

“She’s divorced. She doesn’t trust men in general.”

He made a funny, nervous sound while opening his door. As I stepped out of the car, he stared me down over the hood. “Don’t tell her I made a move on you.”

I chuckled darkly and met him at the front of the Cougar. I took his hand. “Let’s go.”

We hadn’t even rung the doorbell before I heard footsteps. I braced myself as Mom flung her arms around me, squeezing me tight. She shook against me, tears streaming her face. Wrapping my arms around her, I tried not to sponge up her emotions and cry, too.

“Where the hell did you go?” Mom pulled back, dabbing her eyes. “We were worried sick over you!”

My eyebrows knit together. “We?”

Something moved on the stairs behind her. Swirling around the corner, Kat came bouncing into the living room, swinging a mess of auburn curls from her face.

A lump clogged my throat. “
Kat.
”

Knotting her arms around my shoulders, I threw mine around her waist, burying my face in her bush of hair. She smelled pleasantly of herbal shampoo and coconut body wash . . . and forgiveness.

“I’m so sorry,” Kat whispered, low enough so only I heard.

“Me, too,” I whispered back.

“I saw the letter.” Her voice was almost inaudible. “Don’t be sorry.”

Mom tilted her head. “And who might you be?”

I’d almost forgotten Aaron standing on the porch with us. He smiled, but looked a little unsure of himself. Clearing my throat, I stepped over to stand beside him.

“Mom, this is Aaron Jamison,” I introduced.

“Hello.” Aaron nodded.

“Hi.” Mom scanned him up and down, iffy.

I moved right into explaining. I told her the truth about me going jogging, though I snipped the part about my route through the woods. I explained how I overdid it and passed out near Aaron’s parents’ house.

“I sprained a few muscles,” I said, “and needed rest. He took really good care of me, and he was determined to get me home,” I summed up.

Mom shifted on her feet, still in momma-bear mode. Kat glanced back and forth between us. She kept eyeing Aaron, then giving me this big-eyed look that said: you have some serious juicy details to download later. I waited for Mom to snap, for her to tell Aaron what business did he have keeping me away for so long.

“Jamison,” she said, folding her arms. “As in . . . Clarissa Jamison?”

Aaron stared at Mom, lips parted. “Yeah,” he said, surprised. “That was my mother.”

Mom bit her lip. Nodding, she said, “You look like her.”

“Wait, you know her?” I butted in. How was that even possible? Aaron and Trinity had lost their parents when we were still living in Seaside.

“I did once. A long time ago.” Mom turned to Kat. “Kat, honey, can you put some milk on the stove for hot chocolate? I think we could all use some drinks.”

“Sure.” Kat patted my shoulder, clearly taking on the role as the other daughter. I watched her go, glad she was here.

Motioning us inside, Mom said, “Aaron, you are welcome to stay if you’d like.”

“Um.” He hesitated, throwing me a glance. I nodded. “Yeah. Sure.”

While Kat brewed hot chocolate in the kitchen, Mom disappeared upstairs. Everyone was settled in the living room, hot chocolate in hand, when she came back down. She sat on the chair by the couch, opening up a dusty manila folder. Leaning over, she extended a handful of pictures to me.

“Your father had lots of friends, but they never stayed around. Always wandering, traveling,” she said.

My heart stuttered as I examined a photo. Mom kneeled on a hillside, arms around an orangey-coated tiger. She grinned, a large cougar peeking out from behind her, laying a paw on her knee. The way the fur lifted around the tiger’s mouth, he looked like he was smiling for the camera, too.

I looked at Mom, shaking my head a little.

She seemed to read my mind, for she said, “Yes, they’re Shifters. No, I didn’t know about them in the beginning.”

“But you found out,” I exclaimed. “You, you
know.
”

“Of course I know. What I want to know is how do
you
know?” She shot a pointed look at Aaron. He shrunk back. “Don’t think I don’t know what you are, boy.”

“Leave him be, Mom. I . . .” I paused. Here it was, what I’d needed to tell her all along. “I, um, let’s just say I have more in common with Dad than I thought.”

Her eyes glassed up again, but she didn’t cry. She nodded, saying, “I wondered. I knew you’d been acting funny lately. But I didn’t know until
this
that it was genetic.” She tossed a paper at my lap.

It was Dad’s letter, crumpled and stained with mascara tears that weren’t mine.

“Bastard—sorry everyone,” Mom said. “I found out about your father’s other life five years ago, but he never told me that it could be passed onto a child. Never once.”

“Five years.” I leaned into the couch cushions, turning the clock back. I’d been in sixth, seventh grade, still in Seaside. That was around the time my parents had started fighting. “Wait, Dad’s other life. That didn’t contribute to the divorce, did it?”

Mom dropped her gaze. “That was a chunk of it.” She sipped her cup, the steam drawing blood to her cheeks.

“Your father has always been very secretive. When I was young I took it as bad memories he didn’t want to talk about. I figured he’d tell me when he was ready, and if not, well, we were in love, and that’s all that mattered. But, as it tends to happen, love alone can’t support a relationship. And it most certainly can’t support secrets. I thought your father was insane. When he told me about the Shifters and the clan, I thought he was losing his mind. Then I sat back and thought about it, and I knew he couldn’t be lying. The way he stared at me when he said it, the way the fire burned in his eyes . . . then of course, after shifting in the kitchen he didn’t need to tell me twice.”

“He
shifted
in your kitchen?” Kat asked, stunned. She sat at the foot of the couch, shoulders against my knees.

“Oh, yeah.” Mom nodded. “Idiot scared the shit out of me, to be perfectly frank. That was the night I kicked him out of the house. I didn’t know what else to do. I’d grown up in a world where fantasy died out by the time you hit puberty and all things paranormal or fantastic were seen as rumors, stories you tell the kids. I also grew up with parents who preached loyalty and honesty every day. It hurt that he’d kept such a secret from me.”

Mom dropped her gaze to another photo I couldn’t see. “I asked why he waited so long to tell me. He would never answer. Now I wonder if it’s because of you, because he saw something I didn’t. But it could’ve been a number of things I guess, like he said something about an enemy clan wreaking havoc . . . or it could’ve been that damn Shifter who came to him the night I kicked him out.”

“Oh, no, don’t tell me She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is a Shifter,” I said. For some reason that made me hate her even more. Maybe because now I felt like we had something in common.

Mom rolled her eyes, giving half a nod.

I growled.

Mom started tearing up again. “Lina, if I’d have known . . . If I’d have had any idea that this was—”

“Mom, stop, I’m not mad at
you
.” She wasn’t the one that passed me the gene and kept it secret. “I just . . .” I trailed off, about to talk about Alpha Shifters. Now it was my turn to feel sorry, because I didn’t want to tell her about that part yet. Now
I
was keeping secrets.

Mom dabbed at her eyes with her sleeves. Aaron shifted beside me, looking between all us women then sipped his hot chocolate. I felt embarrassed that he had to witness the emotional drama of my family.

“So how did you know my mom?” Aaron asked.

Mom stared at him a moment before answering. “She was in among Alex’s group of friends. I didn’t really know her—I just knew her face and her name.”

“Oh.” There had been a hopeful look as he’d asked, but now it died out.

Mom took a deep breath. “So . . . I guess we work through this together now. That means no more arguing,”—she flashed a look between Kat and me—“we are family, genetically related or not. We need to support each other.”

A guilty pucker formed between Kat’s brows. “I’m sorry, Lina.” She squeezed my ankle. “I should’ve believed you, especially since you’ve never lied to me.”

Another weight lifted off my heart. “It’s okay, Kat. You had a right to think me nuts.”

“Yeah, but not really.” She shook her head.

“So Aaron,” Mom started. “How did you get so involved with my daughter?”

Aaron’s cheeks flushed. “The shelter. We work together.”

“Ah, so you’re Shelter Boy. I thought you were involved with someone else.”

“Mom,” I hissed, and suddenly regretted telling her anything.

“No, ma’am,” Aaron replied calmly. “The only woman I ever had a relationship with besides Lina was killed by the clan’s enemies some years ago.”

That rid the sharpness from Mom’s face. “Oh . . . oh, wow, I’m sorry.”

Aaron shrugged and said, “I need to get going, I think. Clan matters. Thank you for the hot chocolate, Ms. Bayberry.”

“You saved my daughter. I owed you something in return.” She half-smiled. “But don’t go thinking you can keep my daughter away again.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“You’re leaving?” Kat and I said almost at the same time. My heart ached with the idea of being separated from him.

Aaron set his empty cup on the stand by the door. “I need to call Trinity and see about getting you to Raja. It’ll need to be soon.”

“Well, okay. Let me walk you out.”

Kat and Mom waved goodbye and I closed the front door behind us. Alone now, Aaron took my hand and we walked side by side to the Cougar. “Your mom doesn’t like me,” he whispered.

“We were gone overnight together and you’re a boy. Of course she doesn’t like you.”

He stuck his key in the door. The Cougar’s locks popped. “I’m not really going anywhere. I’m still on guard duty for you.”

“So you’re not leaving?” I smiled.

“No, but I need to make it look like I am.” He looked towards the front windows, where Kat and Mom jerked the curtains forward, hiding themselves. I made an annoyed sound.

“You need to tell them,” he said. “You know, about being Alpha.”

I moaned a little. “I know, but I want to wait. I know my mom, and I think she’s more overwhelmed than she’s letting us believe.”

“I understand, but in the clan you’ll find that our motto is better sooner than later.” He brushed the bangs off my face. “Stay in the house this time, okay? I don’t want to go chasing you again, especially since last time I could barely keep up.”

I stared at the pavement. “I’m scared.”

“About what? The Keftey? Look, I promised you I’d—”

“No, about shifting. Well, I mean yeah, I’m scared of the Keftey, but I’m scared of becoming
her
again, becoming Wild Celina.”

“Is that what you call your feline self?”

“Stop laughing, it’s not funny. She’s the one who pissed you off in the office. I don’t want to be her again.”

“Mmm.” He pecked my cheek. “Look, don’t be sorry about the office thing. I knew your feline hormones had kicked in and were on full-throttle. That might happen a couple times before your first shift. I’ll be prepped for it next time.” He glanced at the front windows again. “Now give me a kiss before your Mom and Kat start creepin’ on us again.”

I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. Adrenaline coursed through me as he pulled me close, into his glorious warmth. As fast as it happened it was over, and he slid into his car.

“Don’t be scared of shifting, Lina,” he said. “You aren’t going to lose yourself to Wild Celina forever, I promise. If anything, the shift will give you confidence in
real
Lina, the Lina I know you to be.” The Cougar rumbled to a start as he turned the key in the ignition. “Now I mean what I said: stay in the house. I’m going to go park down the road and be back shortly.”

The Cougar rumbled as he backed out of the driveway. I exhaled, unable to stop the disappointment at watching him go. Letting off a double honk, he waved from the window before revving the engine and soaring down the road.