Marriage Seasons 03 - Falling for You Again (33 page)

Charlie squeezed his eyes shut. Boy, did he have a headache. He ought to take some aspirin. Esther would—“Cody, go home,” he said. Again feeling instant remorse for his tone, he added, “I understand about Patsy. I’m glad she loves Pete, and it is important. I just don’t want to talk right now, okay? I want to watch television and that’s all.”

“But we have to drive around Deepwater Cove in your golf cart. That’s the plan.”

“What plan are you talking about?”

“The aggressive dinner. It was Mrs. Finley’s idea—the older one. Miranda Finley bought the house next to Brad and Ashley Hanes. I’m not sure you knew. It was a secret, but now it’s not. She’s moving in next week. Yesterday she said we should have an aggressive dinner for Charlie Moore because what will he do without Esther? So the other Mrs. Finley, who is Kim, talked to Brenda. They all agreed, and that’s why I came over here. We’re going to ride on your golf cart.”

Charlie rubbed his eyes. “Cody. Please.”

“I can help you, Mr. Moore. I know how it feels to want to sit down and never get up. That’s exactly the way I felt when my daddy said I was twenty-one and ready to make my way. Then he put me out on the road and drove off. I sat down, and I didn’t think I could ever get up. But then I did. After that, I had a hard row to hoe, which is a metaphor. It means things were difficult. But in the end, I found Deepwater Cove, which shows that God is watching you and planning a happy life for you even without Mrs. Moore.”

Charlie gritted his teeth, torn between wanting to knock the kid’s block off and cry some more. Neither would do.

“Cody, you can’t possibly understand what it feels like to lose a wife of almost fifty years. I don’t expect to live a happy life. Not now and maybe not ever again.”

“You didn’t lose your wife, Mr. Moore. She’s dead, but she’s not lost, and that should make you at least a little bit happy. Mrs. Moore doesn’t have to worry about getting her artery unclogged, which she was dreading a lot. Also, she doesn’t have to try to remember old business for the TLC. She will never again fall asleep while she’s driving or run her Lincoln off the end of her carport. Those are some good things about Mrs. Moore these days. In fact, if you could see her right now, you would cheer up a lot.”

“Well, I can’t see her, Cody. I’ll never see Esther again. I won’t touch her or hear her voice or eat her cooking or sleep at her side. And I don’t … I don’t … well, Cody, I don’t see a single thing good about that.”

The young man nodded. “You have a hard row to hoe, Mr. Moore. But here’s a thing to remember while you’re hoeing your row: ‘Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.’ Revelation 21:3 -4 .”

Charlie shrugged. “Pastor Andrew said something like that.”

“Mr. Moore, the former things are what’s happening now. One day, though, they will all be former. That means they’ll be passed away. Gone. When the former things are passed away, you’re going to feel a whole lot better.”

“And in the meantime?”

“Well, we have a job to do, and I’m not talking about driving around Deepwater Cove in your golf cart—even though that is what we’re supposed to be doing. Our job is to
‘Go ye therefore.’
That’s a command Jesus made at the end of Matthew.”

“Cody, I’m not about to go to the uttermost parts of the earth and teach the nations. I’ll leave that up to Jennifer Hansen and the other missionaries.”

To Charlie’s surprise, Cody’s earnest expression suddenly went solemn. Even sad. It was the first time since Esther’s death that Charlie had actually noticed much of anything outside himself, his children and grandchildren, and their loss.

A memory filtered through the haze of his confusion, anguish, and sorrow. A bright, golden-haired young woman was whispering something in Charlie’s ear.

“Mr. Moore, please pray for me. I know what God wants me to do with my life … but … but I’m really confused about a few things … about Cody.”

Jennifer Hansen. She had begged Charlie to pray for her. And he had. But what was happening now? Cody had said Jennifer’s mission trip to Mexico didn’t go well. The mention of her name a moment ago had brought a total change to the young man’s face.

“Are you all right, Cody?” Charlie asked.

“I’m having a hard time hoeing my row.”

“What’s the problem?”

“Jennifer is the problem.” Cody shook his head. “I don’t know what happened to her in Mexico. She won’t talk to me. She won’t even look at me. I’m afraid I did bad social skills, but I’m not sure. I love Jennifer a lot, and I want to marry her. I’m autistic, though, and that’s a big problem for people who want to get married. I don’t think Jennifer wants to marry me.”

Charlie found he couldn’t answer. He gazed across at the boy’s blue eyes.

Cody clenched his hands into fists. “I don’t know which is worse, Mr. Moore. Wanting to get married to someone who doesn’t love you or getting married and then finding out at the hospital that your wife is as dead as a doornail, which is a metaphor I don’t understand. Either way, you’re left alone and that’s hard, especially if you really love the other person a whole lot.”

Charlie swallowed the lump in his throat. “Cody, I think you and I ought to go for a drive in my golf cart. What do you say?”

“I say we’re late already. Probably the ladies of Deepwater Cove are as mad as hornets, and that’s a metaphor I do understand.”

Boofer stood up on Charlie’s lap, stretched, and then leaped to the floor.

It turned out to be Thanksgiving Day, a fact that took Charlie by surprise. As he drove Cody toward the Hansen house, reality slowly crept up on him. Pumpkins beside doorways. Scarecrows and bales of hay arranged in yards for decoration. Cars lined up along the narrow street.

“‘Over the river and through the woods,’” he muttered.

“Which river?” Cody asked.

“The one in the song that Esther used to sing.”

“I miss her. She was president of the TLC, even though we didn’t really have a president. Mrs. Moore kept minutes in her purse and read them out loud. She was my friend.”

“I miss her too.” Charlie could feel the tears well up again, and he dug in his pocket for a tissue. Crazy thing, crying so much. But every time he thought of his wife, of any little thing about her, he could hardly bear it. Her clothes hung in their closet. Her makeup lay on the counter by the sink. Her pillow had a dent right where her head used to rest.

“Here we are. Salad at the Hansens’.” Cody hopped out of the cart as Charlie set the brake. “Salad is good for you even though it’s made of vegetables, which are not my favorite. My aunt in Kansas eats vegetables all the time, and she loves salad.”

As Cody threw open the Hansens’ front door, a burst of warm air carried with it the fragrance of roasting turkey, pumpkin pie, and steaming sweet potatoes. People rose from the table, surrounded Charlie, and began greeting him. Justin, who almost never came home from college. A grandmother. An aunt. Steve and Brenda. Jessica and her fiancé. And finally Jennifer.

“You’re late, Cody,” Brenda said. “We had to start eating without you. Charlie, is your phone turned off? I must have called ten times.”

“I’m not sure.”

Charlie felt as though invisible strings were moving him along like a marionette. He sat at the table and picked at a bowl of fresh green salad, managing to eat a bite or two. People talked about the funeral, asked questions about Charles Jr. and Ellie, mentioned how much they had loved Esther. Charlie nodded and mumbled things he thought made sense.

He tried to remember what Cody had told him. One day, this meal at the Hansens’ house would be
former things
. One day he would be with God, and he would see Esther, and there would be no more tears. But now … just for now, there was only one thing to do.

Go ye therefore
.

What could that mean? What significance could it have for a man well past his prime, a man with no wife, no joy, no reason to keep breathing in and out?

“Time for Mr. Moore and me to move on,” Cody announced. “The main course is at the Finleys’ house. That’s the turkey and dressing and hot rolls. It’s the best part of an aggressive dinner.”

“
Pro
gressive,” Brenda said. “A progressive dinner.”

Everyone laughed as Cody shrugged his shoulders and hurried toward the front door. The Hansen family had been in the midst of their dinner when Charlie arrived, and now they returned to the meal. Someone said to pass the mashed potatoes. Someone else asked about pecan pie.

Charlie was putting on his coat when a movement nearby startled him. Jennifer Hansen had stepped into the foyer.

“Mr. Moore,” she whispered. Without another word, she slipped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. Charlie felt the pain inside him soften just a little. He reached up and patted the young woman on the back.

“I’m so sorry about Mrs. Moore,” Jennifer murmured. “I don’t know how to say anything that will make you feel better.”

“It’s all right not to know,” he told her. The warmth of her embrace was more comforting than he could have imagined.

“Mr. Moore, may I please talk to you sometime next week?” Jennifer said in a low voice. “It sounds selfish of me to ask such a favor at this terrible time in your life, but you’re the only one I can think of to talk to. You know so much about life. Could you … would you please let me come over for a visit?”

As she drew back, Charlie looked into her serious eyes, almost a mirror of Cody’s. “You’re welcome to visit me next week, Jennifer. I’m not sure I have any wisdom to pass along to you, but I’m dandy at listening. Esther trained me well.”

Her face brightened. “Thank you. I’ll come on Monday.”

She kissed his cheek before he went out the door to join Cody. The golf cart ride to the Finleys’ house took less than a minute. Along the way, Cody talked about how embarrassing it was to mix up his words.
Progressive
and
aggressive
had sounded very much alike to him, but now he knew he had made an error. Right in front of Jennifer, too.

“Welcome, Charlie!”

Miranda must have been waiting near the door. Cody and Charlie had just stepped onto the porch when she sailed out to embrace them. Still feeling like a marionette, Charlie drifted into the dining room and took his place at the Finley Thanksgiving feast.

This was a louder family, the twins calling to each other across the table, Derek trying to calm everyone, Kim asking questions of Miranda. Turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, marshmallow-covered yams, green bean casserole … each found a place on Charlie’s plate.

“Good dressing,” he told Kim after he had taken a bite. “Moist.”

It was the first positive comment he had uttered since Esther died. Was she watching from above? Did she know he preferred Kim Finley’s dressing to hers? Feeling guilty, Charlie laid down his fork. He did sense Esther nearby. In fact, he could almost hear her voice.

“Oh, just eat it, honeybunch. I don’t mind. My dressing always was a little dry, wasn’t it?”

Again fighting tears, Charlie tried to listen as Miranda Finley addressed him. The woman wore a beige sweater and chocolate brown slacks with a big gold necklace and matching earrings. With her spiky blonde hair, she seemed to glow as she spoke.

“A moving truck will be coming in on Thursday.” Her voice had that too-friendly tone people used when they were trying not to mention something uncomfortable. “I guess that’s a week from today, isn’t it? I hadn’t realized it was so soon! All the furniture I had put into storage will be here, and I have no idea where to place half of it. I had a huge home in St. Louis. Charlie, would you be so good as to stop by and take a look at the house early next week? I know you’ll be working on the Haneses’ room addition next door, and I’d be so grateful for your advice. I’ll need a handyman, too, and Derek won’t be any use to me in that department. He’s always so busy, even in the cold months. And with Kim’s pregnancy—”

A gasp went up around the table.

Miranda clapped her hand over her mouth. “Oops! I wasn’t supposed to tell yet. I’m so sorry, Derek. Kim, can you ever forgive me?”

“Mom, you promised not to say a word.” Derek’s face clouded with frustration. “Charlie, we’d appreciate it if you would keep this under your hat. We just found out, and we wanted to wait awhile to make it public. Cody, can we trust you not to tell?”

“No,” Cody said frankly. “I’m not good at keeping secrets. I found that out about myself. I can give it a try, but I would be surprised if I didn’t tell.”

“Don’t worry, Dad-o,” Lydia piped up. “If people find out Mom’s pregnant, it’s okay. What’s the big deal?”

“That’s because Lydia already told Tiffany,” Luke chipped in. “Everyone at school knows. It won’t be long before the whole neighborhood finds out.”

“Lydia!” Kim exclaimed.

Charlie ate a last bite of turkey and tried to work this new information into his fogged mind. Kim Finley was expecting a baby? No wonder Derek looked so satisfied. The twins were excited too.