Masquerade (10 page)

Clarissa stood on the top stair, her robe heavy with water, which now streamed down around her ankles. Slowly she said, “Bella knows how to swim?”

“Well, yeah. I’ve got a pool at the house, so she’s had lessons since she was a baby. She probably swims as well as I do.” Clarissa stepped out onto the pool deck. One of her sandals dangled halfway off her foot. She kicked her foot into it angrily. “You never told me she knew how to swim.”

“I never told you she didn’t.”

Clarissa glared at him but didn’t dare look at the other faces. It was one thing to feel like a fool; it was another thing to see the proof that everyone agreed with you. Instead, Clarissa pushed the clinging strands of hair away from her face, then peeled off her bathrobe and rung it out. Water pooled at her feet.

“Who says good help is hard to find?”
Sherry said cheerily.

Slade took the robe from
Clarissa’s hands. “If we drape this across one of the pool chairs it should dry out soon.”

Clarissa had already had e
nough humiliation for the day. The thought of staying here for even one more moment didn’t appeal to her. She shook her head. “I’ll just hang my robe up in my bathroom.” She reached for the robe, gave it another twist, and watched as more water dripped onto the concrete. “Maybe I should take Elaina with me. She doesn’t know how to swim, and I wouldn’t want you to worry—”

Slade held his hand up
like he was taking a pledge. “I’ll keep both girls safely in the kiddy pool, we’ll have lunch, and then go up to the hotel room and play a few rounds of Shoot and Batter or something.” His eyes ran over Clarissa’s figure, and stopped at the water accumulating at her feet. “Really. You deserve the afternoon off.”

Clarissa shot a last look at Elaina
. “Fine.” She turned around and headed toward the hotel. Her wet skin felt cold against the air, and her sandals made a squishing sound with every step she took.

Step. Squish. Step. Squish. She probably wouldn’t stop dripping until she reached the elevator. One leg of her s
uit began to twist unnaturally. She didn’t dare stop and fix it. She’d already created enough of a spectacle to amuse the movie stars.

Step. Squish. Step. Squish.

She hated the way Slade was so at ease in every situation, while she always floundered around looking incompetent. And she hated the smug humor she’d seen on Sherry’s face before she turned around. But most of all she hated the way Bella could send Clarissa into a pool one moment and then blink innocently up from her father’s arms—the image of an angel—the next.

Had she
done the whole thing on purpose?

And from the recesses of her mind
, Clarissa heard Freud’s voice laughing. “You’d better listen to me next time.”

Clarissa changed into dry clothes, did some damage control to her hair and makeup,
and then went out on her hotel room’s balcony to read a novel. It should have been easy to relax against the backdrop of the bright blue ocean spilling onto the pale sand. But it wasn’t. She reread the same paragraph over and over again while wondering how Slade was managing with the girls. Finally she put the book down. Pitiful, she scolded herself. It’s been so long since you had any time to yourself that you don’t know what to do any more.

She looked out at the beach, sunny and inviting, and wished her balcony faced the pool instead. That way she’d be able to see whether or not Slade had already taken the girls inside.

She was beyond pitiful; she had reached pathetic.

I should go for a walk along the beach, she thought, and pictured herself strolling along the shore with the other
sunbathers. Then she pictured herself in her old blue swimming suit, and the image didn’t seem as appealing. She didn’t want to go for a walk; she wanted to buy a new bathing suit.

She
grabbed her purse and key card and was out the door.

Chapter 12

Clarissa had expected the hotel gift shop to be small, but it was also a pro shop and ended up being bigger than some of the stores she’d been to in the mall. It carried everything from toothbrushes to
sports equipment. A rack of women’s swimming suits stood in the back of the store in between the golf shirts and beach towels.

As Clarissa flipped through them
, she chastised herself for not buying a new suit before she came. In California, she could have shopped around and found a bargain. Here she’d have to accept the price.

She turned over the tag on a bright, flor
al suit and winced. Too much. It was a week’s worth of groceries. She couldn’t justify spending this much, and yet, even as she thought about returning the suit to the rack, she also thought of Sherry stretched out on the pool chair in her black velvet suit, looking sleek and elegant. Clarissa wanted to feel that way. The old blue suit seemed symbolic of all Clarissa’s problems, and she didn’t want to put it on again. Ever.

She took the floral suit
and also grabbed a hot pink, a yellow, and a black one from the rack. Then she took them to the dressing room.

The whole time she
disrobed, she mourned her lack of willpower and the amount of chocolate she’d consumed over her lifetime. Chocolate. It seemed to cancel out the time she’d put in on the treadmill. She ought to have done better. If she were perfect, it wouldn’t matter what she wore. She would always feel confident.

Clarissa
put on the yellow suit and turned sideways to the mirror. It was a good thing, really, that she and Elaina would be here for Halloween instead of back home. Who needed bags of fun-sized Snickers lying around the apartment to tempt you? As of this moment, she promised herself she would never overindulge in chocolate again—at least not when she had to face people while wearing only half a yard of tight spandex.

These thoughts were reaffirmed upon seeing herself in the floral suit. It made her feel like she had put on bumpy wallpaper. The black suit wasn’t much better. She took one glance in the mirror and
muttered, “It would be perfect to wear to an Esther Williams funeral.”

The pink suit had promise, but felt a bit tight. Clarissa remembered seeing the next size up on the rack and now
peeked over the top of the fitting room door in search of a wandering sales clerk. Of course, she saw no one.

She thought about getting dressed to walk back to the swimming s
uit rack, then chided herself for being silly. After all, if she planned on wearing the suit outside in front of the whole world, she ought to be able to walk ten feet across the store.

She took a deep breath, then darted out to the swimming suit rack. It took her a moment to locate the pink suit in a larger size
, and once she did, she also found the same style in white and turquoise blue. She held them in her hands and tried to decide which color she liked best. She had just decided to take all three back to the dressing room, when she looked up and saw Landon approaching her.

He came, stood beside her, and put one hand on the swimming suit rack. As though it were a perfectly normal way to start a conversation, he said, “You may have heard the saying ‘There’s no such thing as bad publicity.’” Now he leaned toward her, keeping his gaze cool, serious, and directly trained at her eyes. “
Let me warn you that Slade doesn’t think that saying applies to him.”

Clarissa stared back at
Landon, clutching the swimsuits to her chest in an attempt to create a sort of spandex shield. “I didn’t know Sylvia was a reporter. I wouldn’t have said a word to her if I did. I hardly said a word to her as it was.”

Landon
raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Then you must have a really direct conversational manner. She told me you love Slade but think Bella is a terror.”

Clarissa nearly dropped the swimming suits altogether. She caught hold of the hangers before they completely slipped from
her fingers and held them to her in one massive tangle of material and tags. “I didn’t say that!” She swallowed hard and gripped the hangers tighter. “Well, I mean, I didn’t say it like that.” She shut her eyes and let out a small groan. “
The Scoop
isn’t going to print that, is it?”

“No, but only because I gave her a better story instead.” He ran a hand through his shaggy blond hair. “For forty-five minutes I talked to that woman about my career plans, personal life, and promised if I ever have any illegitimate children, she’d be the first to know.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Landon
folded his arms and his eyes narrowed. “You and Slade both owe me a really big favor for this.”

She almost volunteered to have a few illegitimate children for him, then decided against it. He might not realize she was joking. Women probably actually did make those types of propositions to him on a regular basis. “Just name it
,” she said.

H
e looked at her, and then his gaze slide down her figure, as though realizing for the first time she wore only a tight pink swimming suit. A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips, and his whole expression softened. “Just name it, huh?”

Clarissa felt herself b
lushing. “I mean, you know, what I meant to say was that I hope someday I can return the favor.”

His smile grew. “I hope so
too.”

This line of talk was getting her nowhere. Well, actually it was getting her somewhere, but
not someplace she should be. Just being in the same room with Landon McKellips was enough to make any woman sweat; being six inches away from him while he smiled at her was positively dangerous. She nervously pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “I haven’t told Slade that I ran into Sylvia. I’m not sure how to break that sort of news to him.” She looked at the clothes rack. Anything was better than facing Landon’s sultry stare. “I mean, despite what she told you, I didn’t actually say any of that, and what I did say, she tricked me into saying—”

“Clarissa.”
Landon said the word slowly, soothingly. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell Slade anything. It’s taken care of.” He casually reached over and took the turquoise swimming suit from her hand. It was one foot less of spandex in her shield, and she blushed anew as he held it up to her. “The pink looks good, but I like the way the blue brings out your eyes.”

“Do you? Well, blue it is then.” She took it from his hand and
backed away toward the dressing room, still clutching the suits in front of her as she went. “I’m going to get dressed now. Thanks for your opinion.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to try on a few more?
” he called after her. “I can give you my opinion on all of them.”

“No, that’s okay. I mean, I’ll go with the blue.”

Once inside the dressing room she locked the door, leaned against the wall, and cursed the fashion industry for ever doing away with suits with bloomers. She also cursed herself for being so easily embarrassed. A modern woman shouldn’t blush in a swimsuit.

He must think of her as incredibly backward.

Of course, she shouldn’t care what Landon thought of her. But somehow she did. After all, three days ago she’d been an unimpressive, unimportant, struggling single mother. Now she was here in Hawaii. She was still an unimpressive, unimportant, struggling single mother, but Landon McKellips had just flirted with her. Of course she cared. If she could have recorded the event to replay for herself every time she got depressed, she would have.

Well, maybe not. If she recorded the event, then she’d have to watch herself blushing, and fumbling, and looking awkward. Some things were better to forget.

Clarissa changed back into her shorts and top and stepped out of the dressing room. She hadn’t expected to see Landon still in the shop. In fact, she was relatively certain she’d never see him again. He stood beside the closest wall, waiting for her.

He was waiting for her. Oh, for a camera.

As she walked toward the register, he casually strolled over to her. His blue eyes sparkled as he took her in. “Can I ask you a question?”

Yes, I will have your illegitimate children, and yes, I’ll even be the one to send the birth announcements to Sylvia. “Sure,” she said calmly.

“Are you really Bella’s nanny? I mean, there’s nothing going on between you and Slade?”

“No. I mean yes. I mean
no.” She took a deep breath. “No, there’s nothing going on between us, and yes, I really am Bella’s nanny.” Clarissa ran her fingers around the swimming suit hanger and tried to subdue her heart rate. What she thought would come next, couldn’t really come next. Not between someone rich and famous like Landon and someone like her.

“I’m glad to hear it,”
Landon said softly. “That being the case, do you have plans for dinner tonight?”

She had just been asked for her first date since the divorce. Ever since her relationship with Alex ended, she’d wondered about this moment. She wondered if she would be ready. She wondered if the question would come from someone she’d be eager to accept or someone she’d have to avoid for the rest of her life.
She never—not even once—imagined it would happen in a Hawaiian resort by Landon McKellips, Hollywood hunk.

And to think Alex had told her she would never find someone to replace him. She smiled at this fact even though she knew she had to
turn Landon down. “I’m sorry. I’m watching Bella tonight while Slade goes to a luau.”

Landon
shook his head and moaned. “That’s the same party I want to take you to. Can’t you get someone else to watch her while you come with me?”

“It’s my job to watch her
.” And then, because Clarissa suddenly remembered she had to say it, she added, “and besides, I’m married.”

Landon
tilted his head in puzzlement. “You said that as an afterthought.”

“What?” she asked, because she didn’t want to admit he was right.

“Usually, if a woman is married, that thought stays pretty much foremost in her mind. Her excuse isn’t, ‘I’m sorry, I’m busy, and oh, by the way, I’m married too.’”

“I’m sorry,” Clarissa said, and she felt
herself blushing again. “I didn’t think that you thought . . . I mean . . . I just thought you were being friendly and . . . I’m sorry.”

Landon
smiled, and it was still a confident smile. “You’re not really Slade’s nanny, are you?”

“Yes I am. It’s just that
. . .” In spite of her embarrassment, she kept her eyes on him. His tousled, sun-bleached hair, his half-parted lips, his blue eyes all seemed to pull her toward him. She considered telling him everything, then decided that was her stupidest idea since she swore off chocolate.

No one could know the truth. No one. If it got back to Slade, it would ruin whatever inkling of a chance she still had for a permanent position. So she was married, and that was that, even if it did mean turning down a date with the most handsome man who’d ever asked her out.

“It’s just that what?” Landon asked.

“Nothing,” she said. “I need to go.
Thanks for your opinion on the swimsuit.”

She walked toward the front counter to pay for the suit, and he didn’t follow her.

“And thank you," he called after her, “for leaving me with that visual image.”

* * *

At 4:15 Slade knocked on the door. Clarissa didn’t care he was early. She’d missed Elaina and scooped her up in her arms the moment she saw her. She smelled of sunblock and french fries.

“Did you have a fun time this afternoon?”

“Yep,” Elaina said. “Slade let us jump on Bella’s bed.”

Clarissa raised
her eyebrows at Slade. “You did?”

He thrust his hands into his pockets and didn’t move from his place in the doorway. “
Yeah, well, it turns out I can only take so many games of Chutes and Ladders.”

“Poor thing. No wonder you brought them by early.”

“I didn’t mean to show up early, but I can’t get a hold of Meredith.” Slade glanced over his shoulder at the hotel hallway. “Did she tell you where she was going?”

Elaina started to squirm, so Clarissa put her down. The little girl immediately ran over to the
couch to get her stuffed dachshund. Bella followed, looking to see what other toys Elaina had laying around.

Clarissa turned back to Slade. “Sorry, I haven’t talked to Meredith all day.”

“She’s supposed to go to this luau thing with me.”

“Then I’m sure she’ll turn up.”

Slade paused. “Well, I haven’t actually told her about it yet.”

Clarissa raised
her eyebrows again.

“I haven’t seen her since I found out about it, but I don’t want to go alone.” Slade
checked his phone. “Maybe I should ask the front desk if she rented a car.”

As soon as he’d said this, Meredith rounded the
corner. She wore a large brimmed hat and a swimming suit cover-up. A large beach bag was slung over her arm.

“Where have you been?” Slade called to her. “I’ve been trying to get hold of you
for hours.”